Found that image on the wiki, terrifying.
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AN: I wonder what the title could be, it's a first for me to use a code, but I have faith in you!
According to Dr. Medicine, joining the discord can extend your life span by nine morbillion years!
https://discord.gg/eSSP2GtYQS
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Dipper Pines carried the pair of books his Grunkle Stan had handed him while Stan was in the bottomless pit. Dipper hadn't had a chance to look inside the books yet, but he would before he went to sleep. His sister Mabel was sitting on her bed in the room they shared as he walked in.
"So, Bro-bro, what're the books about? Are there princesses? Fairies? Fairy princesses?"
"I don't know yet, Mabel, I'm about to open them for the first time." Dipper said as he crawled onto his bed. Before he could crack the first volume open, Mabel jumped up beside him, reading over his shoulder.
This is the true story of one my friends, an example of a brilliant tactician in a stupid war.
"That's promising!" Mabel said excitedly, while Dipper just flipped the page.
The war started because of literature, so remember kids, books are bad for you.
"Man, whoever wrote this book sure knows what he's talking about." Mabel said, nodding in agreement. Dipper just sighed at his sister's antics.
Technoblade, Famous in many circles for being a great warrior and earning the title of Blood God, needed some books made out of baked potatoes to enhance his armor. Applying earlier lessons [see volumes 1,3,4, and 7 for more information], Techno solved it using the best method available.
""Wait, Technoblade!?"" The Pines Twins asked in unison. They resumed reading at a fevered pitch.
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Roughly thirty minutes later, they had finished the two volumes.
"we gotta talk to Techno about this, I had no idea he fought in a war and quoted Sun Tsu!" Dipper exclaimed, pacing back and forth while clicking a clicky pen. (You know, those pens that you click down on the top to write with, then click again to stop writing.)
"Sun who? I'm more interested in that Squidkid, from the illustrations he seemed pretty hot."
"Mabel, didn't mom say to stop falling in love with drawings when you fell in love with the man on the $10 bill?"
"Pish posh, brother, she probably wasn't serious about that! Besides, mom's not here right now, Stan is! I'm sure Stan wouldn't have a problem with it!"
"Yeah but Stan isn't exactly the most responsible of guardians."
"Dipper, do you really think I would mess with your mysteries just for a hottie?"
"Frankly? Yes."
Before the argument could escalate any further, Stan's voice echoed throughout the house, "Hey, cut the chit-chat! Some of us are trying to sleep, ya little shysters."
""Sorry Grunkle Stan!"" Both Pines Twins shouted back.
"Sheesh, can't a man have peace and quiet in his own house?" Stan grumbled to himself while taking off his clothes.
Back in the twin's room, Dipper and Mabel lay down on their beds.
"Alright, Tomorrow we go find Techno and talk to him about this." Dipper said.
"And maybe find Squidkid!" Mabel cheered.
"And... possibly find Squidkid."
"Good night Dipper."
"Good night Mabel."
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The next day, Dipper and Mabel prepared extensively before stopping at the front door.
"Alright, we don't know if Techno will want to talk about it, so we won't push him for answers." Dipper said.
"Don't push for answers, got it."
Before we go, let's double check we've got everything. Water?"
"Check."
"Snacks?"
"Check."
"Weapons in case we come across something in the woods?"
"Double check."
Alright, I think that's everything." Dipper said as he picked up his back pack.
"Wait! I thought of something!" Mabel shouted.
"What!?"
"My... grappling hook!"
"Sure, it might come in handy."
With everything prepared for the trek out to Techno's place, Dipper reached his hand out to the door knob and turned it. Dipper pushed the door open, and was hit with a blast of hot air so warm it felt like he had walked into an oven.
"Aaaagh!"
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"Ahh." Techno sighed as he walked outside. The temperature was finally starting to get to a comfortable heat, not quite as hot as the nether, but getting close. While Techno's skin was thick enough to make most changes in temperature not effect him, which was very useful in the arctic, he still preferred the heat as it reminded him of his youth, long before he was kidnapped, forced to fight in gladiatorial combat, overthrew the slave masters, made a name for himself toppling tyrants, and getting adopted by Phil.
"Techno! The world is happy today, it's lifting me up!" Ghostbur cheered as the heat pouring from the ground made him rise. "I can see everything! I'm looking down on the town... why is this giving me memories? A different town, but... in flames? Why is it in flames?"
"That... happened a long time ago Ghostbur, just enjoy today."
"Okay." Ghostbur said, before floating even higher. "I need to go, friend, people out in the town need Blue."
"Okay, just be careful Ghostbur." Techno wished Ghostbur as he floated off.
Average_techno_fan: big brothernoblade.
Bananamilkshake: Technobrother
Carpediem: @Average_techno_fan I though Wilbur was older?
Technofan12321: @Carpediem Idk
Average_techno_fan: Depends on which lore is being used, DSMP had both family friend /brotherly but not related Techno and Phil and Techno are friends. SBI family Au's generally have Wil and Techno as twins with Techno older by like 2 minutes, and then there are fanons where Techno is adopted after being kidnapped from the nether as a child. Pretty sure Techno is older than Wilbur, not as old as oldza, of course, but close.
Carpediem: So pretty much however it's convenient at the moment?
Average_techno_fan: yes
"I accept this topic, because I am actually his brother."
Average_techno_fan: But what about Tommy 2: Swearless boogaloo?
Yodasstick: Are you saying you would be opposed to Phil adopting another brother or sister?
"Bruhh. I'm just going to go fish."
Pathoftheswole: answer trhe question, coward!
"nope."
Carpediem: Based
Bananamilkshake: @Carpediem Bruh
Carpeddiem: What? It's slang.
ChadwickChadeusChaddington: No proper Victorian gentleman should ever taint their lips with slang, it debases you.
Technoblade ignored his chat and grabbed his fishing rod and left a sign for Ghostbur before heading down to the lake.
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Dipper, Mabel, Soos, and Grunkle Stan had all striped down to the bare minimum in a vain attempt to stave off the heat. Dipper and Mabel were sitting on the recliner while Stan was eating chocolate ice cream on his back and Soos was face down on the carpet. Toby Determined was on the radio, giving the weather.
"Watch out Gravity Falls, because at 110 degrees, we're looking at the hottest day of the summer!" Outside the shack, a squirrel inexplicably caught on fire.
"Dudes, all in favor of, like, not doing anything all day say, 'Ugh'." Soos said, his voice muffled by the floor as the wall paper began to peel of the wall.
""Ugh."" responded Mabel and Stan. Dipper, however, did not groan in response.
"Hey dude, are you still alive?" Soos asked concerned.
"Yeah, I just wanted to go ask someone some questions with Mabel today."
"Broseph, it's so hot wax Stan is melting. We'll just go tomorrow."
"But what about the... hugh, the hot squid guy?"
"He'll probably be around tomorrow."
"Mabel, will you still be interested tomorrow?"
"There is nothing that could distract me!"
Grunkle Stan interrupted to Pines Twins. "I don't know what you two are talking about, but I do know it's too hot to be arguing. Knock it off!"
Dipper and Mabel looked sheepishly at each other. However, Stan's talking had alerted Waddles to the chocolate ice cream around Stan's mouth. Waddles began to waddle over to Stan.
"I'm gonna throw this pig outta the house!" Stan shouted. Waddles ignored him and licked off some of the ice cream. "You called my bluff, pig."
Over the radio, Toby Determined mentioned that, "on the bright side, pun very much intended, it's opening week at the Gravity Falls Pool."
Mabel perks up at this news. "Gravity Falls Pool?"
"Today?" asked Dipper, as he realized he was unlikely to distract Mabel from the pool for at least a day.
"Pun intended?" Soos asked, because he is the greatest character ever.
"Quick! To the car!" Stan ordered. Dipper, Mabel, and Soos shot to their feet, ready to go for a swim. Stan tried to get off the ground, but his back had fused with the floor boards.
"Hey kids, a little help here?" Stan asked. Dipper and Mabel each grabbed a spatula and peeled Stan off the floor. "Alright! Off to the pool!"
Toby once again spoke from the radio. "And make sure to watch out for random wildfires!"
"Wait, what?" Stan asked before catching on fire. "Aaaagghh!"
"He'll be fine" Mabel told Dipper.
"Yeah dudes, I don't think anyone is, like, having a gender-reveal party." Soos added wisely. The twins looked at Soos strangely, so Soos imparted more wisdom. "You'll understand in a few years.
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"Ah, the pool! A sparkling oasis of summer enchantment!" Mabel sighed.
"Yeah, nothing like sitting in a moist tub with strangers. It's the bus, but wet." Stan grumbled.
"Why would a sun need sunglasses?" Dipper asked Soos while looking at Soos's cool dude towel.
"It's best not to think about it."
"Alright Mabel, we'll swim today, but tomorrow we need to talk to Techno." Dipper said.
"Of course, Bro-bro. I am entirely focused on finding Squid –Whoa! Who is that?" Mabel asked in surprise, pointing at a Hispanic teen in the pool whose hair was floating in the breeze.
"Oh yeah." Soos said while eating corn chips. "Word is, dude never leaves the pool. People say he's a 'mysterious loner'."
"Is it getting hot out here or is it just that guy?" Mabel asked, fanning herself.
"It's the hottest day of the year, Mabel. Besides, what happened to nothing being able to distract you?" Dipper asked, crossing his arms in annoyance with his twin.
"You are clearly enamoured. Go to him" Soos told Mabel "It's so beautiful." Soos said to Dipper and Stan, wiping a tear from his eye as he watched Mabel trip over pool chairs on her way to the loner.
"Eh, Mabel's all talk. You wanna know a secret? She's never kissed a guy before. She always messes it up somehow." Dipper told Soos. Soos's eyes opened dramatically upon hearing that secret.
"Oi, women." Stan sighs before a water balloon hits his face. "Aaah!"
"Hey Mr. Pines" Wendy shouted down from the lifeguard tower with a bucket of water balloons beside her.
"Wendy? Where's the lifeguard?" Stan asked in confusion.
"I am the lifeguard. I make the rules, sucka!" Wendy said as she threw another water balloon at Stan. "Boosh!"
"Aah! She's attacking me with water!" Stan yelled as he made a hasty retreat under heavy barrage.
Soos, Dipper, and Wendy laughed as Stan managed to get out of Wendy's range.
"Wow, you work here?" Dipper asked Wendy.
"I found out the lifeguards get free snack privileges." Wendy said, prompting Soos to nod in respect for her decisions. "Plus, I get the best seat in the house."
"Yeah you do!" Dipper said laughing. Dipper laughed for a few more seconds before realizing he had been laughing for too long.
"Dude, are you and Wendy having a secret staring contest? 'Cause I think you're winning." Soos said to Dipper.
"Soos! Shh!" Dipper said to Soos before pushing him away. Soos shrugged and went to go find Stan, while Dipper went back to Wendy, who looked confused at the interaction.
"So, hey, you wanna go chuck more water balloons at Grunkle Stan?" Dipper asked.
"I'd love to, but I gotta spend the day doing tryouts. We're looking for an assistant lifeguard." Wendy responded.
"Hey," Dipper voice cracked, so he cleared his throat and deepened his voice. "Hey." Dipper returned to his normal voice. "What if I was assistant life guard?"
"That would be so much fun! You're totally in, dude!" Wendy says, throwing a Rescue Can at Dipper, which he catches. "You just have to check in with my boss first, Mr. Poolcheck."
Wendy pointed out Poolcheck, a tall, buff man doing 1 finger push-ups. Poolcheck turned his head to stare directly into Dipper's soul, freaking Dipper out a little. To make things worse, Dipper recognized Poolcheck from Skull Fracture, the local bar, when Dipper prank called it under the effects of old man Mcgucket's voice alterin' formula.
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Techno had finished walking to the lake and had found a nice, secluded spot far from foot traffic to start fishing. Techno had some standard bait options, such as worms and grubs, but also decided to experiment with potatoes as bait. Techno used the potatoes for bait first.
As Techno sat leaning against a tree with his line in the water, he began to partake in one of the most popular parts of fishing. His eyelids began to get heavy, and he started to fall asleep. The fish weren't biting, as most of them had gone deeper to avoid the heat.
Suddenly, Techno felt a tug on his line. He reeled the line in with great force, wanting to see what he caught. Out of the water flew a Loch Ness Monster look alike, green and scaly. It was easily twenty feet tall, was dripping water, and had an underbite.
The Gobblewonker was blinking in surprise. One second it was underwater and about to eat a yummy potato, the next it was flying through the air towards a pig man. Said Pig man picked the Gobblewonker up by its neck, and looked into its soul. The pig man stayed like that for a few seconds, during which the Gobblewonker was too scared to even move, before throwing the Gobblewonker back into the lake.
As the Gobblewonker flew through the air and crashed into the water, it couldn't hear what the pig man said to himself.
Technofan12321: Bro why did you throw it back?
Def_not_a_stoner: what, Techno threw it back?
Yodasstick: Techno, Throw it back!
"The fish was to small, you know the mods'll be on my case if I didn't release it."
Average_techno_fan: Imagine not being able to keep your fish, couldm't be me
Laughteryoga: Le cringe
ChadwickChadeusChaddington: My god, @Laughteryoga, are you a dirty, stinky frenchy?
Yallneedhelp: @ChadwickChadeusChaddington don't be racist
Yodasstick: @Yallneedhelp are you a building?
Carpediem: @Yallneedhelp I'm pretty sure Chad^3 is a Victorian gentleman.
ChadwickChadeusChaddington: I am indeed a proper English gentleman.
Laughteryoga: I'm not actually French, I'm doing it for komedia.
Techno sighed, knowing chat was going to be arguing about the French for the next few hours. Techno went back to fishing, but only using the standard bait instead of potatoes.
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Back in the pool, Mabel had met the mysterious loner, learned he is a merman, and that some call him... Mermando! This is because Mermando is his name. Dipper got the lifeguard assistant job, and began abusing his power with Wendy. Stan gets thrown in pool jail over the perfect pool chair that Gideon stole from him, and tried to burn the child once he was set free.
Soos began plotting how to free the inflatable ducks from captivity after Dipper and Wendy trick him into thinking the ducks are alive. Soos is about to try to free the ducks when Poolcheck closes the pool. Mabel promises Mermando to come back later that night and talk, but accidently destroys some of the pool supplies.
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The next day, Techno went fishing again. Ghostbur had returned around midnight the night prior, and was currently cuddling Friend. The temperature wasn't as high as the day before, which meant ghostbur wasn't floating as high.
At the pool, Poolcheck berates Dipper. "You gave me your word that you would respect the safety rules of this municipal pool!"
"Mr. Poolcheck, are you... Crying?" Dipper asked.
"That's not important right now!! You are on thin ice, boy! You wanna keep this job?! Well, some maniac broke into the supplies closet last night and destroyed our one and only pool skimmer! I want you on a stakeout. If one more supply gets taken, YOU'RE FIRED!"
Dipper salutes. "I won't let you down, sir!"
"Yo dude, what did Mr. Poolcheck want?" Wendy asked when Dipper came back to her.
"Somebody broke in last night, so he's putting me on a stakeout tonight."
"That's rough. I know, wanna go get free snacks?"
"Sure!"
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Techno reached his fishing spot and noticed all the potatoes he had left had been stolen.
"Darn raccoons."
Techno sat down to fish again, once again with a potato on his hook. Techno cast his line, then let the smooth subtlety of sleep begin to overtake him. The Voices, for once, were not arguing about something stupid, with most of them either taking a nap or playing I Spy. Suddenly, Techno felt a tug on the line.
Techno pulled the line out of the water once again, and this time there was an old friend of Techno's at the end of the line.
"Squid? Squid_kid, is that you?" Techno asked is shock.
"Techno? What are you doing here? I thought you were stuck in Dream's realm." Squid responded.
"I built a base up in the cliffs after I fell from the sky a few weeks ago."
"How? What happened, Techno?"
"I was fatally injured in the final fight against Dream, The Voices were evacuating me from Dream's world as it began to collapse, and I got caught by the weirdness magnetism here."
"Did anyone else... make it?"
"Ghostbur is living, well, "living" with me right now. Apart from that, I don't know."
"I'm so sorry."
"Don't worry about it, I got lots of time with my family, that's more than some can say."
"But, still, if you need anything, just tell me."
"Alright. So, why are you here?"
"I'm supposed to track down a Merman prince named Mermando."
"I'm not even going to ask what a Merman is doing in Gravity Falls. I'll keep an eye open, if I find him I'll tell you."
"Thanks. I better get back to looking."
"So long, nerd."
"See ya later, Techno."
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Mabel and Mermando were floating in the pool, playing catch.
"Mermando, get ready! I'm gonna bring the heat!" Mabel shouted as she threw a ball at Mermando. "Boosh!"
Mermando doesn't catch the ball and just sighs.
"Oh, it's your family, isn't it? Are you thinking of them?" Mabel asked.
Mermando answered with a sad dolphin chirp.
"Mermando, enough is enough! I care about you too much to see you like this. We're gonna bust you outta here and get you back to your family." Mabel declares.
"But, Mabel, escape is impossible!"
"We're breaking you out tonight!" Mabel shouts, slamming her fist down for emphasis, and accidently splashing Mermando in the process.
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That night, Dipper was patrolling the pool deck with a flashlight, a whistle, and a night patrol hat.
"Alright, Dipper, here's the plan. Catch the trespasser, protect the supplies, keep job at pool, and eventually marry Wendy." Dipper says to himself before he hears the sound of bolt cutters. Dipper whips around shouting, "Freeze!" Before seeing who caused the sound. "Grunkle Stan?"
"I, uh... I'm sleepwalking! Also now I'm sleep talking." Stan said putting his bolt cutters down after cutting a hole in the pools fence. "Nice hat, by the way."
"You! You're the one destroying pool supplies!"
"What? No! My crime is much better than that." Stan said as he walked through the hole he had created. "I'm gonna get that seat and be ready in the morning when Gideon comes. Then maybe I'll destroy some pool supplies. Night's still young."
Dipper blew into his whistle, and Stan started to back up.
"Yeesh, alright, I'm goin'!"Stan says before slipping past Dipper and running onto the pool deck.
"Hey!" Dipper shouted as he chased Stan, causing Dipper to not see the golf cart Mabel reversed through the hole Stan made. Mermando saw the backlights on the golf cart and swam over.
"Mabel!" Mermando says. Mabel uses a hairpin to unlock the pool supplies room.
"Are you ready to see your family?" Mabel asked.
"Yes, but how can I, a merman, possibly escape?"
Mable took a drawing out of her pocket. "Okay, my original plan was to tape together a bunch of fish sticks to make you a pair of prosthetic pair of people legs."
"Intriguing." Mermando nodded.
"But then I realized I could just transport you in this cooler." Mabel said as she put a cooler on the back of the golf cart and filled it with water.
"Ha-Ha!" Mermand leaped out of the pool and landed into the cooler.
"Hey! Who's there?!" Dipper shouted as he started running over.
"Quick! Hide me! My kind must not be seen!" Mermando yelled, and Mabel closed the lid of the cooler right before Dipper arrived.
"Mabel! Is there anyone not breaking into the pool tonight? What, is Soos here to?" Behind Dipper, Soos started climbing the chain-link fence, reached the top, and fell off.
"I'm okay." Soos said.
"Soos, go home." Dipper said without turning around.
"You got it, dude." Soos started climbing back over the fence.
"So, why are you here?" Dipper asked Mabel.
"Uh, no reason." Mabel said nervously. Mermando coughs in the cooler.
"Did that cooler just clear its throat?" Dipper asked.
"Don't be silly. There certainly isn't a merman in there, if that's what you're implying. Who said anything about a merman?"
"Mabel, I don't have time for your games. If you don't give me those supplies, I'll lose the coolest job ever!"
Mabel sighed, head hung low. "I understand." She then pointed behind Dipper. "Hey look! Wendy in a bikini!"
Dipper turns around. "Really? At night?"
"Sorry Dipper!" Mabel shouts as she dives onto the golf cart and starts burning rubber, creating a new hole in the fence to the left of Stan's hole.
"Mabel!" Dipper shouted angrily as he ran towards the Pool Mobile, a little vehicle that looked like a golf cart without the top. Dipper gets into the Pool Mobile and chases after Wendy.
Mabel dodges and weaves between water balloons Dipper was flinging from the Pool Mobile as they race through town towards the lake.
"Hand over the pool supplies in the name of pool law!" Dipper shouted into the megaphone he had found in the back of the pool mobile.
"Pool law is dumb! And so is your hat!" Mabel shouted back. Mabel continues to dodge water balloons. As they exited Gravity Falls, Mable finally saw her destination. "Look! Gravity Falls lake!"
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Back at the pool, Stan peeks out of the bathroom he had hidden in. "The coast is clear." He ran over to the perfect pool chair, equidistance from the snack bar and the bathroom, just the right amount of sun and shade, and pointed away from where Old Man McGucket lotions himself, and lied down. "Ah... now all I got to do is wait here for the next 15 hours until the pool opens." Stan paused for a second, before nodding to himself. "This was a good plan."
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Dipper and Mabel race down a winding mountain road as the sun begins to rise. Dipper continues to fire water balloons, and finally, one of Dipper's balloons hits the drain plug on the cooler.
Mermando began to panic as he began to suffocate. "I cannot breathe! You must hurry!" He told Mabel.
Mabel passes a sign that says 'Welcome to Lake Gravity Falls' and drives onto the beach before hitting the brakes. In her attempt to stop, however, the cooler Mermando is in falls of, and Mabel is forced to dive of the golf cart when it tips over. "I'm okay" Mabel said, brushing some sand of her arms before running over to the downed cooler.
Dipper slowed the Pool Mobile to a stop right behind her and jumped off. "Alright, the jig is up! Hand over that cooler!"
Mabel blocks the cooler with her body. "Never!"
"Why not?! Why do you even need it?!"
Mabel hesitated, deciding what to tell Dipper, before settling on the truth. "I need the cooler to save my friend because he needs to go home and he's really nice and we combed each other's hair and he needs to be in the cooler because he's a merman!" Mabel says in one breath, opening the cooler letting Mermando roll out.
"Hola."
"Whoa! Way to bury the lede, Mabel. Also, why didn't you tell me what you were doing? I would have helped you!"
"I don't know, I just panicked!"
"Mabel, I'll always have your back. Awkward sibling hug?"
"Awkward sibling hug." The Pines Twins hugged each-other ""Pat, pat.""
Mabel calmed down, and did introductions."Dipper, Mermando the merman. He's a merman."
"Nice to meet you. Also, I think I am dying." Mermando said as his face turned blue. "Water! ¡Agua! ¡Yo necesito!"
"Oh, no! Mermando! Dipper, you're a lifeguard! Give him CPR!"
"Merman don't breathe air!" Dipper said.
"Then give him reverse CPR! Doi!"
Dipper ran to the Pool Mobile and grabbed a bottle of water and began giving Mermando mouth-to-mouth.
"I hate this!" Dipper said between giving Mermando another breath of water. "I hate this!"
Mabel took a picture of Dipper kissing Mermando and laugh to herself, "Haha, blackmail."
Mermando was successfully resuscitated. "Thank you for saving me, but why didn't you just roll me into the lake?" Mermando asked, gesturing to the lake that was just a few feet away. Dipper face palms. Dipper and Mabel carry Mermando into the water, and he dives underwater.
Mermando returned to the surface and started making dolphin noises, before having a coughing fit. "I am weak from coughing. How will I get my family to hear my call from the mighty depths of the ocean?"
"That's where I come in." said a voice that none of the three by the dock recognized.
"Who... are you?" Mermando asked.
"I'm a Squid kid, but you can just call me Squid. Your parents sent me to find you."
"I still do not know who you are." Mermando said.
"I can vouch for him." A different voice said. "I've known him for years, he's trust worthy."
""Techno?!" Dipper and Mabel asked.
"Hallooooo."
"Mabel, you know this man?" Mermando asked.
"Yeah, he's a piglin, and has been helping me and Dip-dop all summer with super-natural stuff." Mabel answered.
"Very well, I will trust you, Squid. Before I go, Mabel, goodbye." Mermando said as he gave Mabel a kiss.
"Cool, let's get goin' then, I got potatoes to farm." Squid said to Mermando, before he turned to say goodbye to Techno. "See you later, Techno. You ever need my help, I'll be there."
"See ya Squid."
Mermando and Squid dived into the ocean, swimming out into the sea. Techno turned to the Pines Twins. "Sup."
"Hey, Techno, I've got a few questions for you. My Grunkle found these two books in the bottomless pit, and they're about The Great Potato War." Dipper said.
"Heh?" Techno interrupted and he walked over to look at the books Dipper was talking about. "Huh. Can I borrow those?"
"Yeah, sure. How did the war end? The books didn't finish the war."
"I beat Squid to 500 million potatoes, and celebrated my victory with grace and humility." Techno thought back to his victory.
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"Watch me dance Squid_Kid, You lose! You lose the war!" Yelled Techno as he was default dancing on Squid_Kid.
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"Yup, grace and humility."
"Cool!" Mabel said.
"Alright, you kids do whatever, I wanna see what was written about me." Techno said as he walked into the woods.
"Well, that was fun!" Mabel said. "I even got my first kiss! And hey, so did you, I guess."
Dipper shuddered. "Please don't involve me in this."
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Mr. Poolcheck was "talking" to Dipper. "A wrecked fence, dents in the pool mobile, and a broken cooler?! Poolcheck grabbed Dipper's shoulders, his face going red from anger. "WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS?!!"
Dipper sighed. "It's my fault, sir. I'm sorry. I got in too deep."
"HAND OVER THE WHISTLE, BOY!!"
Dipper handed Poolcheck his whistle. Poolcheck put the whistle in his mouth and chews it up. Dipper slowly backed away from Poolcheck. Poolcheck swallowed the whistle before saying, "If one more thing goes wrong today-"
Soos came out of the pool supplies shed with the inflatable ducks in his arms and threw them over the fence. "You're free now! Free! Inflatable ducks unite!"
"YOU!!!!" Poolcheck roared, pointing at Soos.
"Huh?" Soos turned around. When he saw Poolcheck, Soos screamed and clambered over the fence. Poolcheck rushed towards Soos and barreled through the fence, leaving a Poolcheck-shaped hole in it.
Dipper was walking away sadly when a water balloon hit his face.
"Hey, doofus, you'll never guess what happened. I just got fired." Wendy said.
"What? Really?" Dipper asked in surprise.
"Yeah. I guess Poolcheck found out I was taking too many snacks."
"How many?"
Wendy grinned and lifted her trapper cap off her head, revealing a stack of chips, causing Dipper to laugh.
"Hey, wanna go break the rules somewhere else?" Wendy asked.
"Of course!"
Dipper and Wendy walked off to cause mischief elsewhere, unknowingly passing by Mabel. Mabel sat on the edge of the pool, feet dangling into the water, and sighed. Suddenly, a green bottle, like those stereotypical S.O.S. bottles in movies, popped out of from the pool filtration system.
"Huh?" Mabel asked as she began to inspect the bottle. She pulled a letter from inside and began to read. 'Dear Mabel, I am home with my family and I am very happy. Our first kiss will always hold a place in my heart. Technically hearts... As a merman I have, like, 17 hearts. Horrifying but true! More bottles on the way!' Just as Mabel finished reading the first letter, more bottles came flying out of the pool's filtration system. Mabel giggled and began to start reading them.
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Stan was reclining on the pool chair he had broken into the pool to claim when he saw Gideon walking towards him. Gideon acted shocked when he saw Stan on the chair. "Stanford!" Stan laughed at Gideon's surprise, enjoying pulling one over the little fraudster.
Gideon accepted his defeat with grace and humility. "Well, guess you won. Put 'er there." He said as he offered a hand for Stan to shake.
Stan reaches out to shake, but, "Hey! What the-!" He exclaims as he sticks to the pool chair.
"Unless perhaps I predicted your plan, and coated the entire chair with glue last night! Enjoy your chair... forever." Gideon laughed while walking away (I'm imagining Hunter x Hunter 2011 OST 3 - 1 - Kingdom of Predators because that's the song from There is no fridge on youtube.).
Stan began to panic, pulling to try and get of the chair, before giving up and calling for help. "Kids, get the spatula's! KIDS!"
.
.
Techno sat on his porch, reading through the books regaling his tale. 'Whoever wrote this would have had to knew me well, I wonder who it was?' Techno looked at the author. 'Odin Terracrafter, huh? I wonder... Odin is depicted as commanding crows, and Terracrafter means to change the world. Who do I know that is related... to... crows... wait a minute. Odin "crowfather" Terracrafter? Could it be minecrafter instead of terracrafter? Crowfather minecraft...' "Philza!?"
Ghostbur poked his head through the wall when he heard Techno's shout. "Hi friend, what made you yell?"
Techno looked at Ghostbur, shock evident in his eyes. "Ghostbur, I think Phil's in this world."
"Phil? Here? Where!"
"I don't know, but I'm going to find him."
"Maybe he's somewhere in the woods?"
.
.
Drip.
Drip.
Drip.
Drip.
Drip.
Drip.
Drip drip.
Drip drip drip.
Drip drip.
"Caw caw caw"
"Caw caw"
"Craw caw caw"
"Caw caw craw caw."
"Caw craw craw caw?"
"Caw craw craw caw."
.
.
Fdq zh whoo klp bhw?
qrw bhw.
duh brx vxuh derxw wklv?
Lw zdv klv odvw rughu, wr nhhs dq hbh rshq exw qrw wr lqwhuihuh.
Ehfdxvh kh grhvq'w wuxvw xv?
Ehfdxvh kh grhvq'w wuxvw xv.
.
.
Finished 6/3/2023, Words: 5,359, Written using a pirated copy of Microsoft Word 2007.
AN2: guess who's back, back again! I managed to pump out the longest chapter so far in a week! I'm sure you're all surprised, I know for a fact I am, especially with the 37 hours I worked this week and needing to go to bed at a reasonable time, and reading lot's on fanfiction myself.
Admittedly, for the past few days I've only been getting 5 hours of sleep and am relying on tons of caffeine to keep me awake, but meh, I'm still young and reckless. Thank you for comments and follows, it makes me happy to know that I create enjoyment for people.
If anyone knows good music that fits as a theme, or just something I can listen to while writing, that would be much appreciated.