Broken But Beautiful.
Chapter 23. A Walk Together
It wasnt as easy as Gulf had even thought. Taking a regular normal pregnancy was different if he recalled his time, although he was pregnant with triplets at that time. But now the main issue was his health. He would feel low and weak. His body would catch cold quickly. He would start sneezing and falling sick.
Mew was dedicated to him. He turned all his attention to Gulf. It was the only thing he could do for him. He would make sure to keep him warm and covered. Only if he knew, he would have never thought to shift to Chaing Mai since it was cold place. He even suggested Gulf to shift back to Bangkok, but Gulf refused.
His doctor was here, the consultant was here. Besides in Bangkok, he couldnt find any specialist to deal with this kind of pregnancy issues. He was set on appointment after two days to meet his gyneachologist, someone who faced the same pregnancy issues like Gulf.
"Lets meet your gynea". Dr Krist informed Gulf and Mew once they were in his office for appointment.
They walked to the end of corridor in front of the last door. Dr Krist knocked lightly and opened the door after listening a light COME IN from inside.
A doctor was standing by his table viewing some reparts, clearly waiting for the patients.
"Dr Singto Parachaya Rangroj. The expert in the field. And dr, he is Gulf Kanawut, the patient and his husband, Mew Suppassit. Am sure you have check and studied the case". Dr Krist introduced them and pointed Gulf to sit while he stood by Dr Singto.
"How you feeling Gulf"? Dr Singto was as polite as Dr Krist. Gentle and warm.
"I.. I am fine sir". Gulf nodded his head. He was nervous from inside but it was Mew with him. His strength.
"Well. I have studied the case. And its all normal. Nothing to worry about as of now. Except your health. But i understand. As you must have been explained, even if we treat you with the best antibiotics, still the infection cannot be eradicated fully from your system. So i hope you are taking care of everything that had been mentioned to you". Dr Singto started explaining in his warm tone. He was keenly observing the couple in front of him. Dr Krist was just standing, leaning by the table.
"Uh.. Yes. Dr Krist has explained it all. We are making sure that he stays warm inside and outside. His diet plan is changed according to the advise from Dr. But, the main issue is the morning sickness. He feels so low after throwing up that sometimes he starts shivering. I get so worried about him". Mew told holding Gulf's hand.
"Hmmm. I understand. Been through. I have been the patient myself that lead me to learn about this procedure and technology. I know its hard. There was a time when i seriously wanted to kill myself". The doctor chuckled softly.
"You know, no matter how latest we are in terms of technology, we cant give 100% results. For the morning sickness, i am sorry i cannot do anything about it. But yes, i can add some suppliments that will help his ammune system to some extent. Other than that, he needs your support and love.
You know with these cases, the patient gets insecure. He feels he is failing the relationship. Or he is not capable to bear the children. This mental fluctuation gets a troll. He may get moody, or stubborn, or childish or insecure. He can lock himself in the room for days. He can be isolated. There can be moments when he will start crying out of blue or making issues of small things.
Am not saying that everyone does, but 90% do. In those conditions he would need you the most. No matter how much he pushes you, its how much you emotionally cope with him. You getting me"? He turned to Mew who nodded his head.
"See, i wont say that its gonna be all roses and flowers, but make sure at the end of the day you wont hurt yourself or each other. You have to be the strength to each other. As your gynea and your concultant, i am always here to listen you out. To comfort you. To clear the doubts, but its you both. You have to make sure to be each other's comfort. Getting me Gulf"? He asked Gulf who faintly smiled. Honestly he was getting scared.
'What if Phi Mew gets tired of my nonsense behaviour'? He thought to himself and may be the question was too obvious that it reflected on his face.
"Hey Gulf. Calm down. Dont think bad. I am here for you. Like i promsied, we will walk down together". Mew softly wrapped his arm around Gulf's shoulders giving him the assurance he wanted.
Dr Krist smiled looking at them. He grab a chair sitting beside Dr Singto.
"You know what, Dr Singto, is my husband. And he conceived with the same procedure as you Gulf. I had dead sperms too. I couldnt impregnate him normally. We have seen it all so we can relate to it. We have lived every phase of fear and happiness together. Yes there were moments when i suggested him to abort. But am glad he was far more strong than I. So, the key point, stay together no matter what and you can face anything. Right"? He turned to Singto who smiled warmly. And so did the couple in front of them.
They were back home late in noon bringing take away for all. Mew could feel Gulf stiff, rigid and tensed. He knew he had to talk to him as soon as possible. Luckily and thanks to Bright and Win, the girls were too tired that they fell asleep after their lunch.
"Phi what did the doctor say"? Win asked once they settled in the lounge.
"Well, nothing is much to be worried about if we talk about Gulf and the babies, but he is weak, so we have to take care that he doesnt catch any cold. Apart from the medical guidence, the doctor has advised us to stay together and strong in every condition. The doctor, his gynea, is also a male recipient like Gulf. And his husband, Dr Krist is a dead sperm donor like me. So they guided us pretty well.
I am quite hopefull other than the fact that Gulf is so much tensed. And its not good. Gulf, i am here with you baby. You brother is here. Your daughters are here. Why are you scared of"? Mew pulled him into his embrace. He sighed as expected, Gulf was crying. He let him for a while.
"Phi i am scared. I am even more scared than the time when i had hide it from you. You wont be tired of me? You wont get irritated right"? Gulf cupped his cheeks looking into his warm eyes with his own tear filled eyes. His nose was red due to crying heavily. Bright wanted to say something but Win held his hand.
"Gulf. What i can promise to you is, i am here. With you. Forever. I dont know how will i react according to your mood swings, but yes there is one thing i am sure, i can never get tired of you and my family Gulf. You, my girls, and the babies. All i have is the love that i can give to you. Being human, i might get angry or i dont know, but at the end of the day, you can have me to vent out your frustrations. I will listen to you, i will console you. I will comfort you. But never ever try doing any bad to you okay. No hurt no harm. For me, you are the most precious person in my life, and i can bear anything and everything if you are by my side, like i am with you". Mew held his hand in his strong ones. He could relate to his feelings. The feelings of insecurity and fear of loosing your loved one.
Gulf nodded his head making himself comfortable in his favorite pair of arms.
"You know what Phi". Bright spoke looking at his own hands.
"What"? Mew turned to him with a smile.
"I have learnt a lot of things from you. Its been years that i have became a part of this family. Or better i should say, you let me a part of this family. You taught me how to love your family unconditional. Not that i want to remind you of the ugly facts, but you never let anyone feel that Nattarine and Nattarika are not your biological children.
I have seen people who promise to start a life by accepting one's bitter or worst or filthy past, but they cant accept it fully. They cant accept the fact that the person they hold is so beautiful inside out, and so precious, but all they can think about what they had been forced to do in their life. But then its you. I have never once seen you saying any word about Phi Gulf's life. All you did was accept and embrace and forgot everything. May be i dont have this stamina or self control.
I have seen you fighting and surviving for your family. You could have started with a golden life Phi. You have everything Phi. You name it. Money, fortune, a successful chain of business and what not. And still, all i can see is a man in love. Devoted to his husband and children.
If i had not seen you that day with your men, i would have always believed the fact that you are a simple man. A chef, a baker. But despite of everything you have, it still amazes and amuses me when you are a 2 years old with your girls. Or a love stuck man. The way your eyes shoot love daggers looking at Phi Gulf.
I dont know if i can ever love Win like that. With so much devotion and care. I dont know if i can ever fulfill the expectations Win has with me. I dont know if i can make it a happy living like you are. But yes i know i can always look upto a brother when i need guidence, when i need advise. I know i can look upto you to know how to fulfill the promises. I know i dont need to be worried. Right Phi"? Bright said with every word filled with respect and love for Mew. Win patted his shoulder softly with a misty smile..
"Bright. Relationships are not competition between two different couples. Its about how you accomodate and fit for your partner. Mew is totally different than you compare with anyone. He has his own traits that dont match with anyone. But yes i agree with you. Its not easy for people to accept someone fully with no matter how aweful their past is.
I was an escort when Mew rescued me and for that i will always be thanful to him. I dont even remember now how many people i served. From highly maintained to low life cheaps. I had been sold to people for one night stands when i was pregnant with triplets. I had seen people would spend money on me to humiliate me. There were times that i had to beg them, to lick their feet, literally, to save my stomach or to let me eat.
When, *Gulf paused to wipe his tears*, when my girls were born, Win knows the pain. He was with me. I had to beg his brother for hours to let me feed them, to hold them and i would cry looking at my daughters who couldnt feed properly to satisfy their hunger.
His brother would beat me to see the dress ruined because of overflowing milk. But he wont let me spend time with them. It was yet another night, a night for my price. But my concern was my girls who had not been fed for whole day. Because that bastard husband of mine forbade me and blackmailed me that if i held them he would kill them. I was in pain, in misery. In pitty. But i had to fight for my girls.
That night i dressed up myself in the most alluring dress. And may be God had heard my cries. I met the most beautiful man on the earth. He bought me. Not for a night, but for life, with his sincerity and care". Gulf held Mew's hand to his lips. Bright and Win were just looking and listening to him with wide eyes.
"I was scared when he said me to get ready and bring my daughters too. And even if that bastard disagreed, the money Mew offered him was enough to seal his lips.
That night for the first time in week, when i had my stomach full without any hurry and haste. That night i fed my girls with satisfaction and relaxation. That night, Nattasha, Nattarine and Nattarika slept with a fully fed tummy for complete 2 hours.
This man never once mentioned who i was. I was his Gulf. Same man but a different personality. He gave me confidence, love and support, and yes Bright, he never ever let me feel that the girls are not his biological kids. I remember when he got the legal custody of the girls, he was crying with happy tears. That made me realise how does it feel to be a dad. He is the dad to my girls Bright.
I am the most lucky man to have him by my side. Thank you Phi Mew for all the love and care". He softly pecked Mew's lips before settling into his embrace.
"Always for you baby. Together in the journey". Mew was smiling too. Bright looked at the whipped couple and smiled, promising himself that he will be the better man for Win too.