Friday, 2:15 pm, 51:15:00
Rain yawned.
"..."
There was something in the weather that was making him sleepy. The alternate between cool to warm to hot was making him tired and listless. All this and yet he still battled for sleep every night.
Rain scratched the tip of his nose, feeling an itchy sensation. It wouldn't go away.
"What's wrong?" Sky, who was in the middle of reaching for a carton of milk, asked.
Rain chuckled a little. "I feel like sneezing but couldn't quite let it out."
Sky laughed. "Worst feeling ever."
The two of them had each of their own shopping carts, full and packed. After Rain's check up results, Sky started tagging regularly with him when grocery shopping. Sky said he was doing his own shopping, might as well join Rain. But Rain knew that more than that, Sky was there to make sure he didn't stuff his fridge with nonsensical goods like 10 boxes of egg pies and sacks of potatoes only.
"..."
Rain looked at his cart. Full of fruits and vegetables and everything healthy, he was actually proud of himself. He chose all of them, following Hima's list and suggestions.
"Eat wholefoods rather than taking supplements. Supplements are good. But foods close to their natural forms are better."
"Do you have everything?" Sky asked. "I'm done with mine."
Rain pouted, eyes scanning the drinks section up and down. "My lychee flavored water."
"Your lychee what?"
Rain pushed his cart to go to the far end of the open fridge.
"I recently discovered it. I really like the taste."
Sky obviously had his two cents about drinking flavored water but since Rain had filled his cart with greens and fruits, his best friend must have let it pass as a reward.
"What does it look like? I'll help you find it."
"Hmmm... it's in pink glass bottles with a light pink label."
As the two started scanning the shelves and moving to the other side of the aisle, Rain overheard a woman's voice strictly reprimanding presumably her child.
"We do not need that, Ice. Put it back where you got it."
"But Ma, I want this juice!"
"You will return it to the spot where you got it or you're banned from watching your cartoons at night?"
As if a giant was walking, loud footsteps began echoing from the other side where canned goods were located, until a little boy emerged with a sulking face. He must be putting all his strength to each of his steps as he walked.
A pinkish bottle of drink in hand, the boy looked up at Rain first, face red before carelessly putting the drink back in the shelf close to where Sky was standing.
The boy then stuck his tongue out at Rain before running away, leaving like a little hurricane to join his frazzled mother again.
"What a hoot. Do you have any beef with that kid?" Sky asked with a smirk.
"Kids just pick up a fight with me for some reason."
Sky snorted and shook his head, back to scanning the shelves in front of him. "Oh, is this what you're looking for?"
Sky pointed at the rows of pinkish bottles where the hurricane kid had been.
Rain walked closer and beamed. "Yeah. This is it."
With a happy look on his face, Rain pulled a dozen of the pink bottles, including what the little kid had put back earlier.
Sky had a very unconvinced look on his face. "Does it really taste good?"
"It does."
Sky sighed. "Well, if the kid earlier is a fan of the same drink, maybe it really does taste good. It tastes good for you. It tastes good for that boy. It's popular among kids then."
Rain play frowned and indignantly stomped a foot. "Are you trying to say I'm a kid?"
Sky rolled his eyes. "Have I not implied it strongly enough? Kids pick up a fight among their fellow kids after all."
"Really?" Rain asked with a laugh. "You're gonna continue with that?"
Sky smiled nonchalantly as he pushed his cart forward. "Always."
They continued chatting about the most random things they could talk about. Pushing their carts together, they slowly headed for the counter to finally pay. Closer to register, Rain paused, staring at the white tiled floors.
"Why did you stop?" Sky asked.
Rain raised a hand to signal 'wait'. Sky frowned.
"A big... one... is coming..." Rain said, feeling the familiar sensation reach the highest point he'd been chasing since earlier.
"What big one--"
Rain raised his arm, hiding his face close to his sleeve just making it in time for it. He sneezed. A big one just like he said. His entire body moved along with it.
Sky stood shocked still. After a moment, his best friend started chuckling. "Are you okay? That sounded... explosive."
A little embarrassed, Rain looked around and nodded his apology to every person he could make eye contact with. He then rubbed at the tip of his nose, turning to look back at Sky.
"That felt like I sneezed out one of my lungs," he said, rubbing his chest.
Sky laughed. "Did you smell something bad or what? I took a bath though," Sky kidded. "Did you?"
"Of course I--"
Rain was about to respond when he sneezed again. And again. And again.
Sky's teasing grin slowly faded.
After a few seconds, finally the succession of sneezing calmed down. It left Rain with watery eyes and nose and an itchy throat.
"Are you okay?"
Rain rubbed at the tip of his nose again, shaking his head. "Yeah," he croaked as he looked around. The shelves for powdered detergents and fabric conditioners catching his eyes. "Must be those."
Seeing that Sky's eyes had turned serious with no trace of his earlier playfulness, Rain tried to lighten the mood by pretending to wipe his hand over Sky's shoulder. Sky had no reaction. Sky didn't even budge or move away. The man just stared at Rain with narrowed eyes.
"Come on," Rain said, tugging at Sky's cart. "The line's gonna get long."
Sky followed, his gaze still on Rain. "The weather changes lately are crazy. Watch out and be careful."
"Of course."
"You may be coming down with something though."
Rain shrugged. "Nah, I feel fine. Just probably got a reaction from those detergents. They smelled too strong."
Sky sighed. "If you say so. But promise me you'll contact that doctor, Dr Hima if you start feeling odd."
"You worry too much," Rain said, throwing the teasing smile Sky had earlier back at him. He appreciated it though, Sky's concern.
"..."
Sky didn't answer and was just staring at Rain as if silently warning him.
"Okay, okay," Rain said with a small laugh. "I will. This is just nothing though."
"Better be safe than sorry. Especially when you live alone in that monstrosity of a house."
Rain pursed his lips, ignoring the sting of getting reminded that he was alone in his dream house. He drew a deep breath and gripped the cart handles tighter as he would the motorcycle handlebars.
"Let's see who gets to the register first?"
"What?!"
"Here I go!"
Rain pushed his cart faster, almost into a run leaving a dumbfounded Sky behind.
"Oy! Rain! That's dangerous!"
"Hurry up!" Rain teased, looking over his shoulder.
Sky cursed under his breath and pushed faster, trying to catch up. "Ugh, you're so annoying!
Rain laughed as he slowed down, knowing all too well that it was dangerous not just for him but for others he might come across.
"But you did the same," Rain taunted.
"Because you are annoying!" Sky hissed, slowing down himself.
"Bet you wanted to race the moment you ran after me..." Rain said with a waggle of his brows.
Sky was trying to stay serious. He lasted for fifteen seconds before breaking into a resigned smile.
"See?" Rain said. "I knew it."
Sky shook his head, his lips turning into a smile. "You're seriously annoying..." he said with a chuckle. "Do that again and I'll leave you behind."
Rain smiled to himself as he watched Sky grumble until they reached the register. He was glad Sky always made time for him even though the man was always busy.
"..."
Rain was glad. It was like he was able to collect these little snippets of them for a good memory.
---------------------------------------
Friday, 9:45 pm, 44:45:00
Two blank text messages that morning.
Three blank messages yesterday.
One blank message the other day.
All blank messages from the same number sent at random times the past few days.
Payu glanced at the blinking light from the digital clock in the bookshelf.
It said 9:45 PM.
Glancing back at the screen of his phone, he waited. And waited. Sure enough the screen lit up. The notification pinged once and the phone vibrated on the table.
"..."
Payu picked up the phone and swiped on the screen to see the text.
"..."
As predicted, the text message was blank.
Payu narrowed his eyes and exited the text app. For a while he just sat on the swivel chair behind the desk. The lights in his room were turned off except the one lamp on the table. Inside the dimness of the room, the huge windows were open, letting the scent of the rain that had just passed that afternoon circle in the air.
The moon would disappear and appear through the thin veil of clouds. And once in a while the bed would be covered in the moonlight through the windows.
"..."
Payu watched the bed for a long while before dragging his gaze back to his table, to the framed picture of him and Rain on the same bed. It had the same moonlight over them, silly looking faces with Rain holding a small cupcake with a candle. It was Payu's birthday.
"..."
Payu stared at Rain's wide smile, so excited with his little surprise. Saifa said Rain had pestered him to hide in the dark so that Saifa could take the picture right after Rain had lit the candle.
Saifa spoke fondly of Rain so much.
"..."
Payu closed his fists.
He envied Saifa. And he very much envied the man beside Rain in that picture, happily and smugly looking at the camera with a proud glint in his eyes.
"..."
Payu envied his old self so much. The old him had so many precious memories. The him now? He had been given a bunch of opportunities to create new wonderful memories but he wasted all of those.
"..."
He missed Rain. Rain's voice. The weird tasting food that Rain would make. The sound of Rain's feet over the pebbles in the back garden. The reflection of the sun over Rain's hair. The shine in Rain's eyes.
"..."
He missed Rain so damn much.
"..."
Releasing a shaky breath, he grabbed his phone again. He had to get to Rain as soon as possible. He had to finish this soon. He wanted to go home more than anything else. He needed to go home. He had to go home. And with that, hopefully, in Rain's time, Rain would still let him back.
If not, there was nothing else left to do.
Payu would chase Rain for the rest of his life. Because what's a storm without the rain?
"..."
Mind set, resolve complete, Payu went back to the blank message.
It was a no brainer who the person was behind the blank messages he was receiving.
He quickly tapped his reply on the screen and sent it.
If you have something to say just say it, Ple.
P'Chai had strongly suggested that he win Ple's trust again. To act nicer. To pretend that he wanted her back. But Payu had no intention of doing that whatsoever. Ple would probably find it even more suspicious if he suddenly changed tunes. If he acted like nothing was wrong when he already clearly rejected her the last time they met.
He would draw her out his own way. And that was just by being him. He wouldn't pretend like the way she did to them.
"..."
After tapping some more, he slammed his phone face down on the table, wishing he was somewhere else instead.
Enough of this.
------------------------------
Saturday, 9:20 am, 32:20:00
The ticking of the small magnet clock on the fridge was loud. Like a rhythmic pulse being followed by Rain's own heart beat. He stared at the second hand, doing its round around the numbers. He just watched it circle over and over, chin on his arms as he slumped over the table waiting for his breakfast to heat up in the microwave.
"..."
After some time, the beep from the microwave resounded in the kitchen. But Rain just kept on staring at the clock. It looked interesting. Like the seconds he spent staring at it were seconds he could not go back to again.
"...!"
Rain had a sudden idea sparking in his head as he straightened to pull his phone out of his sweatpants.
"How many seconds are there in five years and five months?" he mumbled. Tapping his question over the search bar, a few results came up.
He stared at the top answer, mouth slightly open as he slumped back on his chair, eyes fixed at the result.
"170,933,349 seconds..." Rain chewed on his lower lip and rested his left cheek over the cold surface of the marble table. "How many more seconds do I need to see pass me by?" he whispered to air. "Until three hundred million seconds? Four hundred million?"
Rain closed his eyes, just absorbing the coolness of the table to his skin. He felt slightly warm since last night and his throat burned in the morning. It felt much better now although the remnants of the burn was still there whenever he swallowed.
He opened his eyes and looked back at the magnet clock on the fridge.
"Now I have to reheat..." he said as he stood and pushed back the chair behind him. Just as he was about to go to the microwave, his phone vibrated on the table, showing Sig's wide smile.
Rain quickly grabbed his phone and accepted the video call.
"Rain!" Sig half yelled over the loud sound of the sea waves behind him. "I am sorry I missed your call last night! I was having trouble setting up my sim card here!"
With a huge grin on his face, Rain ended up sitting back on the chair, just taking in his friend's face over the phone.
"You got Rain already?!" a familiar voice shouted somewhere in the background and a few seconds later, Por's tanned face came into view. "Holy crap, Rain! You look... you look uh, are you alright?" Por asked with a laugh. "You look pale, are you even having enough sunlight these days?"
Rain laughed back. "I am the same. It's you guys getting tanned too much!"
Sig maneuvered the phone back to his face and showed his red tinted cheeks from the sun. "What can we say? We're making the best of our vacation!"
Rain watched Sig and Por and their vibrant smiles through the phone screen. He was planning to visit these two but ever since the two ditched their stressful jobs from a stressful company and decided to blow their savings into travelling, they haven't gone back. Now they were maybe somewhere in Indonesia. Or perhaps the Philippines. Their photos were so random.
"Where are you?" Rain asked.
"Vietnam!" Sig and Por announced in unison.
"Wow," Rain said, honestly in awe. These two travel buddies were really trying to visit all of southeast asia.
"Man, gorgeous out here," Sig said. "I saw that it's rainy over there every night lately. None of that here!"
Rain smiled as Por tried to shower Sig with sand and Sig kicked their friend in the buttocks as revenge. Seeing these two who hadn't changed still made Rain feel a sort of sweet but bitter kind of nostalgia.
"How about you Rain? How are you and P'Payu doing?" Por asked as he massaged his behind. "Can we see him?"
Rain smiled wider even though he could feel his body tensing at the question. He hadn't told them anything. And he had no intention. They would know somehow. Right now, he didn't want to dampen the mood of their conversation. With his smile on his face, his natural reflex by now, he stood and began tracing his steps towards the microwave to reheat his food.
"We're good," he replied. "He can't come to the phone right now though."
"Awww," Sig and Por visibly deflated. "We kinda miss him."
"..."
"Tell him when we come back, all of us should go take a vacation together. Just like the old times," Sig said. "We weren't able to meet him when he returned but we'll definitely be coming back soon."
Rain pressed a button on the microwave and the plate inside began turning again.
"Go back to Thailand soon, you two," Rain said.
"Why?" Por asked. "We aren't coming back until we find a girlfriend. They're just out there for sure. Our soulmates!"
Rain turned around and leaned against the counter with a chuckle. "Just wanna see you guys just because. Not through the phone though. It's still different in person."
Sig raised a brow. "You're kinda... weirdly clingy. Do you miss us that much?"
Por laughed in the background. "We'll come back soon but not too sure when."
"Hurry up," Rain teased. "You might not find me here when you return."
Sig paused. "What do you mean?"
"I'm planning to travel too!" Rain said. "Maybe somewhere with snow."
Por's eye bulged. "Snow? What, somewhere in Europe?"
"Not sure though. Just where it's colder. I want to experience fall too."
"Ugh... I want to have a rich partner too!" Por whined.
"Excuse me," Rain said. "I've got my own savings to blow away too."
Por grinned. "We know! We know! But knowing P'Payu he wouldn't even let you pay a cent if he could."
Rain pursed his lips, his smile beginning to slightly be heavier on his face.
"Just return soon," Rain said childishly to his friends.
Por and Sig said they would. However, with the way they looked excited and animatedly told their adventuring tales, Rain somehow felt it would be a few more months before the two returned back to Thailand. He felt slightly down. He really wanted to see them. But given that the two had planned and every expense was counted for all their stops, Rain couldn't blame them. All he did was smile and listen to their stories.
After they ended their call, Rain pulled his food that had cooled down once again. He didn't want to go again with the wait of reheating it and just plopped down on his chair, facing the dried flowers that Payu had last given him.
"..."
He scooped the rice and the vegetable dish into his spoon and brought it to his mouth.
"..."
He chewed. Slowly, carefully, as he just watched the brown and dried up leaves and flowers in front of him. The kitchen was quiet. The birds that were usually lively chirping in the mornings were nowhere. Their songs couldn't be heard. The stream surrounding the house was quiet too. That was weird.
"...?"
Rain turned over his shoulder, standing with his plate and spoon in hand. He slowly padded his way towards the hall leading to the back garden. He placed his plate on top of an empty wooden cabinet and pushed the glass sliding doors open. The morning sun pierced his eyes and it took him a few minutes to adjust.
"..."
The water in the stream was stagnant. The leaves on the surface covered half of the stream and once in a while he could see a glimpse of the fishes underneath.
Rain jumped down to the ground from the porch, pebbles underneath the soles of his feet as he ran to the side of the house where the water pump should be. The black coated machine gleamed under the sunlight and Rain pushed a few buttons to no avail.
"Is it broken?" Rain whispered as he did the usual troubleshooting for machines like this. After too many failed attempts, Rain dropped his hands to his sides and slowly walked back to the stagnant water that surrounded the house.
"You really have to leave and be quiet too, huh?" Rain asked with a small chuckle.
He stood under the sun, looking at his empty swing and at the still waters. He chewed on his lower lip before climbing back in. He took his plate and sat at the edge of the porch.
"..."
He began eating again. The food tasted nothing for a while now. And again, the burn in his throat was back.
"..."
As he ate, tears began falling over his cheeks.
"..."
Until he could no longer eat and he just placed his plate by his side.
"..."
Another round of silent tears so early in the morning. Rain rubbed at his eyes and just looked into the distance.
"It's empty here."
It was hard to tell whether it was the place, the food, or him that was empty.
He wasn't feeling all that well.
"..."
His head was heavy. His throat was burning. His breathing was somehow stuffy.
Even so, after lunch time, he felt so much better again. As if all the things he was feeling that morning were all just a product of his imagination. It was why when he received a message from Sky to meet up at an unfamiliar address, Rain was once again eager and excited.
The sun had just disappeared into the horizon, leaving streaks of faint orange and pink in the sky. Rain slammed his car door shut, looked up, and took in the lone plane that left a white ribbon of smoke along its trail. After drinking in the quiet place and the damp air, he began walking over stone paths that led to a black wrought iron gate.
He pushed it gently open and entered into a green wonderland of plants and hanging flowers. The metal lined up on the glass ceiling held vines and plants, still leaving open spaces for the night sky to be visible. Every step he made felt like stepping into a cloud, as soft grass cushioned his movements. Rustic colored chairs and tables-- empty and bare-- took most of the center of the space.
Rain looked around, inhaling the sweet scent of a fragrant pine tree lingering in the air.
"What do you think?"
Rain didn't have to turn to see who it was. Sky's excited voice was a tone Rain liked hearing.
"Amazing," Rain whispered in awe. "It's magical. This place."
Sky stood beside Rain, their shoulders bumping lightly. "I've always wanted to let you see this place. I knew you'd like it."
Rain glanced at Sky. "I don't like it. I love it!"
Sky beamed with pride. "Now I am at ease."
Rain threw a glance at his best friend and back at the dream-like space they were in. It wasn't too big but not too small either. It was enough for an intimate gathering. Something really special. Something that could only happen every once in a while.
"...?"
That was when Rain paused, slowly turning to Sky.
"Is this place... for... for what I think it is?"
Sky grinned. "What are you thinking?"
Rain ran to the center, tracing his fingertips over the cold metals of the chairs and tables as he went. "Your wedding venue!"
Sky didn't answer. He just grinned at Rain with a glow that looked perfectly good on Sky's face.
"Jeez!" Rain exclaimed, looking up at the night sky, fairy lights glowing all around them. "This is amazing!"
The other man walked closer to Rain, eyes following where Rain was looking up.
"We'll invite around ten to twenty persons only. P'Pai and I have always wanted a small wedding. Only to be witnessed by our special people."
Rain nodded. "Is this the same place you booked before? Like before you postponed?"
Sky shook his head. "Nope. The initial plan was a bigger wedding. But... let's say we learned who our real friends are over these past few years."
Rain pursed his lips, holding on to the intricate metal of the backrest of one of the chairs. The little tinge of pain in his chest was not jealousy. It wasn't sadness either. Just a bit of longing that this could also have been him. He gripped the chair and then pulled it out from under the table. He playfully sat on it like a royalty would.
Sky played along and did the same, sitting in front of Rain with a grin. "Dare I might say it's past time for tea?"
"There isn't such a thing as a past time for tea," Rain replied, making his voice sound deeper.
Rain and Sky cackled as they sat in their chairs. After a few seconds, a woman in a black suit entered, bringing onto their table an actual tea set and a white sponge cake in porcelain plates.
Rain gawked until the lady disappeared from some invisible door she had come from.
"W-what was that?" Rain asked.
Sky laughed. "I didn't just ask you to come here for sight seeing, silly. It's a taste test too for the desserts."
Rain's mouth was open. His eyes were fixed on Sky even as he picked up his fork and delicately stabbed the cake. Sky did the same. By the way Sky was looking satisfied, Rain excitedly brought the cake into his mouth. Only to be a bit disappointed.
"..."
He couldn't taste it. Not a single hint of sweetness on his taste buds. As if he took a ball of air, he felt it, but there was nothing.
"..."
It must have shown on his face because Sky looked concerned.
"Is it bad? I thought it tasted good."
Rain swallowed the decadent softness that had melted in his mouth. Too bad he could not taste it.
"No, it's not that," Rain said. "I just don't have a sense of taste. Like since this morning."
"...huh?"
"It came back during lunch for a bit. But I guess, I don't have it again."
Sky frowned. "You know, I've noticed it before but your voice is slightly different too," he said with worry all over his face. "You sound like you're about to get a cold or something."
"But I feel fine?"
"You feel fine or it's been going on and off like your sense of taste?"
Rain didn't answer.
Sky expelled a loud sigh. Before Rain could see it coming, Sky had reached out to him, hand on Rain's forehead. A few seconds later, Sky was shaking his head.
"You're not burning up yet. But you're definitely warmer than normal."
"..."
"Come on. Leave your car here. I'll drive you home."
"What?" Rain exclaimed. "No, I'm fine I can still drive. This is nothing too serious."
"Rain..."
"Sky..." Rain whined. "I swear. I can drive. Let's stay for a bit then let's go home."
"And then you'll rest."
"I will."
"And you'll drink medicine."
Rain chuckled. "Yes, yes. Promise."
"You swear?"
"I swear! Also, when is the big day?"
"End of next month," Sky answered with narrowed eyes. "Because a certain someone said to hurry it up. The same certain someone who is trying to change the subject right now."
Rain smiled. "I'm not changing the subject. I am legit curious."
The other man looked upwards, the crescent moon looking like a magical piece in the night sky.
"Is it okay if we invite P'Payu?" Sky asked quietly after some time.
"..."
"You're my best friend. And no matter how things are, P'Payu still is a huge figure in P'Pai's life. We want the both of you there. But if it's awkward--"
"No," Rain cut in. "Please invite him. It's your wedding. Not mine. You decide who you want to be there."
"..."
"Besides, it's not a big deal. To see P'Payu in a wedding. Although I wouldn't lie it's a bit weird. After all the dreams and plans we've drawn up for ourselves before..."
"Are you... still hoping the two of you would be able to fix this?"
Rain looked at the cake in front of him, so pretty and sweet, yet he couldn't truly enjoy it. In a way, it was like Payu was a present he couldn't get to despite numerous ways to get to him. Still... he hoped. He was hoping. Although it was almost like a dubious thing to do now.
"The truth is..." Rain began, closing his fists on his lap. "The truth is I'm so tired, Sky. I am so tired down to my bones."
"..."
"I am so close to the edge. It feels like time, circumstances, people, everything, is stopping us."
"..."
"I broke up with him not because I gave up. It's just letting him free of me because what can I do if somehow, my presence no longer means anything for his recovery or in his life as a whole?"
"..."
Rain smiled, a sad smile but a brave smile nonetheless. "But he told me to trust him last time we spoke. Even though it was very brief, he told me to trust him."
"..."
"Had he said to move on, I would. But instead he said that. Feeding my hope. Feeding my desperation."
"..."
"I don't even know what he's thinking. What he's planning. But just because he said it, here I am. Because I am just simple, I am holding on to that."
"..."
"He's my balance you know? After he disappeared, I sort of just tumble all over the place. I'm scatter-brained and clumsy, but he holds me steady as I go on with life. He's the home I go back into at the end of the day."
"..."
"You know why I hang on to that house?"
"..."
"Because I feel so homeless."
"..."
"Stupid isn't it?" Rain chuckled.
"It's stupid to some. But who cares about those 'some'?" Sky said, eyes on the table. "If it's what gives you motivation to go on, who are people to judge?"
"..."
"And let me just tell you this. You've been holding on being on your own pretty well."
"..."
"You are so much stronger than you may realize."
Rain's eyes softened as he grinned at his best friend. He was trying not to make the conversation about 'him' and yet here they were. He cleared his throat and decided to liven the topic before it became a pity party.
"I was thinking... when all of this is over, I wonder what's the best punishment for P'Payu?"
"Huh?"
"I mean he put me through hell, didn't he?" Rain kidded. "I should punish him."
"Punishment...?" Sky repeated. "I don't know your kinks and no I don't want to know the others and let's keep it that way. But--" Sky raised a curious brow. "You have something in mind already?"
Rain looked around and sighed. "Hmmm... actually nothing."
"..."
"I just miss him," Rain mumbled. "I miss him a lot."
Sky pursed his lips and gave Rain an emphatic smile.
After a minute of silence, Sky stared at Rain again as he slumped to his seat. He took his fork with the cake and popped it into his mouth. He chewed, eyes still fixed at Rain.
"Too bad you can't taste this. It's actually top tier."
Rain grinned. "Just seeing your face earlier is confirmation enough."
When Rain got home after meeting with Sky that night, he could barely stand. His sneezes had turned into coughing. His nose was runny. His vision was flickering and everything felt like tilting to the left side.
"...huh..."
This time, he might actually be really sick.
------------------------------
Sunday, 2:18 pm, 03:18:00
The shade on the ground and the sunlight peeking from the trees looked like jigsaw puzzles that moved everytime the wind would blow.
The blue sky was so clear, no puffs of clouds in sight. Just a plain blue canvas from infinite left to endless right.
The swings were still. The seesaw was tilted on one side. The sandbox was empty, there was only an unfinished castle that was slowly eroding from the sudden gusts of wind that would pass by.
"..."
Payu watched the traces of dust fly away from the wind. They looked like smoke where fallen leaves danced with.
"..."
Of all the places Payu had thought of, a park close to an elementary school at the outskirts of the city was the least he expected.
Since it was a Sunday, the quiet was to a point of eerie. Almost like a ghost town. As if a memory in old picture books.
"..."
He'd been there under the tree for fifteen minutes now, standing, watching the empty park.
"..."
And so was Ple, who was sitting on a flower shaped bench, sitting on one of its fading pink petals.
She wasn't wearing her floral skirt. She wasn't wearing her hair tied on one side. She was in a white shirt and jeans, her hair in a neat bun. She didn't look confrontational. Just subdued. And quiet. Very quiet.
"The school up ahead is where I went for elementary school," Ple said out of nowhere. "My big brother would pick me up after his own class from this same park."
"..."
"There was this lady who sells candies and jellies under this tree. And every time she would tell me that if I wanted something and believed it's mine really strong enough, it can be mine eventually."
"..."
"I truly believed that," she whispered forlornly.
Another gust of wind passed them by and another side of the sand castle in the sandbox melted away.
"Why did you change your number?" Payu asked. "You already have my number when I contacted you to meet at the cafe."
Ple clasped her hands on her lap. "Because that was Rose," she answered, looking up at Payu with glistening eyes. "And I wanted to talk to you today and be just Ple. Took me a lot of thinking and courage though."
"..."
"I strongly believed that one day, you'd see me. Even as you looked so content with being with Rain all those years. I didn't stop believing."
"..."
"The landslide was tragic. But to me at that time... it was a miracle."
"..."
"I'm so sorry P'Payu. I am truly sorry."
"..."
Ple hesitantly tried reaching for Payu's hand. Payu hid his hand inside his jeans instead.
Seeing that, Ple bowed and stared back at her lap.
Ple's tears on her face did nothing for Payu. Stone cold anger. Immovable hatred. It was only sheer will and determination to be with Rain that he was standing so calmly. Law was not in his hands.
Ple could cry for the next hundred years and it wouldn't be enough. There was nothing that she could do to return all the lost times and experiences and memories that he could have had with Rain had she been honest from the beginning.
"I'm so sorry, P'Payu..."
Payu just stared at the collapsing sand castle in front of them. Another gust of wind and it would be gone.
Ple continued wiping on her face, calming herself as she tried to compose herself again.
"There are men surrounding us right?"
That had Payu glancing at Ple.
"The police are with them... I know."
"..."
"I knew. I felt like you would do this."
"So why did you still go?"
"..."
Ple slowly stood from where she was sitting. She looked left and right, as if she didn't know where to look. Until she finally gathered herself again and looked straight into Payu's eyes.
"You did this for Rain didn't you? Did you think I would harm him? Did you think I would hurt him?"
"..."
"I may have gone crazy, Phi," Ple whispered, looking genuinely hurt. "But I... I'm not that kind of person..."
"You made us play in the palm of your hands for five years. I wouldn't put it past you."
"Phi..."
Ple bit her bottom lip, fat tears rolling down her cheeks as she shattered. She wanted to look good in front of Payu and all Payu could see was an ugly pile of a liar in human flesh.
She drew a deep breath and looked at Payu again straight in the eyes.
"Even if you hadn't brought them with you, I would have surrendered myself today."
"..."
Ple clenched and unclenched her hands as she looked down her blue sneakers. "I just really want to see your face for the last time and say sorry."
"..."
"All I wanted was you to notice me. And when I got it I wanted to prolong it even though I knew it was so wrong."
"..."
Ple slowly went on her knees, bowing her head till it reached the dusty ground.
"I'm sorry P'Payu. I just love you so much. I'm so--" her voice broke, her sobs escaping her as she groveled on the ground. "I'm so very sorry."
The wind was strong. The dust and the fallen leaves circled around them. The trees swayed and their branches shook. Payu felt nothing as he watched Ple groveling in front of him.
"Do not apologize to me. I don't need it."
"P'Payu... please..."
Payu stepped back, pressing a button in the small device in his jeans.
Almost as if in slow motion, men in brown uniform appeared from behind trees. Men in civilian clothing too appeared, gradually circling Ple who was still groveling on the ground, unmoving and fixed at her stance.
"Please forgive me... Phi..." she sobbed. "I am truly sorry..."
One of the police in uniform gripped Ple by the arm to pull her up. She didn't fight it, as though resigned and already surrendering herself to the authorities like she said earlier.
"I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me P'Payu... someday..."
Payu never gave Ple another glance.
He just paused one last time, leaving Ple the last words he would ever say to her.
"I will never forgive you."
-------------------------------------
Sunday, 4:15 pm, 00:45:00
Rain peered through heavy eyelids. As sick as he was, he couldn't get a wink of sleep since Saturday night.
All he did aside from picking at his food the entire Sunday morning was to lay down on his bed, thinking that what he was feeling would go away on its own just like how it did the past few days.
"..."
It didn't seem to be the case this time.
He dragged himself out of his room to the hallway, carrying his medicine kit. On the way to the first floor, the mirror on the wall caught his eyes.
His eyesbags were so dark. His hair was going in all directions and his mouth was stinging due to chapped lips.
"...wow... you look like a hot mess..."
Hot being his temperature.
Rain shook his head as he took his time going down the stairs. One step at a time, carefully he went down. The world looked like it was shifting to left and right and he stayed beside the wall for support.
Finally reaching the kitchen, the magnet clock on the fridge greeted him. It said near four-fifteen in the afternoon.
He set his medicine kit on the table and went to the fridge, opening it and feeling like he just opened the door to Antarctica. He shivered terribly at the cold as he rummaged through the bottles of his lychee flavored water. Not that it would matter. He couldn't taste or smell anything at this point.
Somewhere at the corner of his eyes he knew the bottle he just pulled looked a bit different than the rest. But his vision was making him nauseous. He had no will to fix his gaze at one particular thing for too long.
"..."
He groaned as he pulled a chair to sit on. After making sure he was seated and not floating wrongfully, he expelled a sigh and pulled his phone out of the front pocket of his light blue hoodie.
The line just continued saying it was busy.
Even Rain's messages last night went on unread.
"Why is he not answering?"
Rain squinted at his phone, just the act of sitting was making him breathless.
He pressed the audio message and coughed his first greeting.
"Hima... is it alright for me to take cold medicine with my sleeping pill?" he croaked. "I have not taken any. Not the cold medicine, not the sleeping pill because I wanted to be sure it's safe. I haven't slept a wink even though I'm this tired. Please answer soon."
After he ended the audio message, Rain pulled his knees up on the chair and just hugged himself. Then it dawned on him that Hima would probably not answer until the next day.
"I forgot... he's in one of his medical missions in the province..."
Rain frowned and opened the white matte plastic box. He pulled a capsule for colds and fever and his sleeping pill bottle out. He placed them in front of him. He really should call someone but no one else knew about him being on sleeping pills other than Hima.
"I shouldn't take them at the same time to be sure..."
He squinted at the fever medicine back to his sleeping pills.
"If I could sleep properly, this fever will go down probably."
It was the reasoning of a really tired, sleepless, sick body, Rain knew. But thinking was also becoming very tiring.
Reaching for the bottle, he then uncapped it.
"I'll just sleep it off."
Fully decided that his sleeping pill was better than the fever med, Rain pulled a single white capsule from the small white bottle, his safe dosage.
He popped it into his mouth and grabbed his lychee flavored water.
As he drank, the coolness actually soothed his throat. It made him feel slightly relieved as he almost finished the drink.
"That tasted nothing," Rain sighed as he slapped the flavored water bottle down the table. He squinted at the label. "You look slightly darker than the usual pink label. Did they change?"
He stared some more but couldn't actually read.
"Ah... aren't you the bottle that one kid put back in the shelf when I was with Sky? I see I took it with the rest..."
Laughing for some reason, maybe because he was going crazy, Rain stood. He didn't have the energy to clean up and left everything on the table except his phone.
"..."
Practically almost crawling, just the thought of climbing up the second floor exhausted him. He veered to the hall towards the living room and put all the last of his strength into climbing onto the sofa and laying down.
"..."
He stared at the ceiling, waiting for the sleeping pill to work. Usually it would take him an hour to completely black out. And so he waited. He waited and felt like he was going deaf by the intense silence around the house.
The stream was not working due to the water pump being broken. The birds around the trees in the area must have found someplace to hang out. Everything was so quiet his ragged breathing was too loud.
"..."
He raised his hand with his phone over his face.
"..."
He swiped and stared at the name and number in his phone. At the name etched down to his soul.
"P'Payu... I'm sick," he said. He then laughed at the silliness in his voice as if he was a child wanting special attention. "Buy me food..." he whined.
He chuckled at what he was saying, as though he was drunk. Was talking to air always this hilarious? Did the fever spiked and he was going delirious?
Rain sniffed, wiping something that trickled down his cheek. Was it sweat? Was it a tear? He couldn't tell.
"What if I call him now? Will he go rushing?"
The call button was looking a little too tempting the longer he stared at the screen. But his eyes were getting heavier and heavier. He'd never felt so much as vulnerable as this moment. Weirdly helpless. Almost disoriented.
"Huh...?"
-------------------------
It had been excruciating. Talking with the police. Conversing with their family lawyer.
Payu had only found a little time away from everyone in the comfort room of the police station.
The sun was getting ready to set, orange tinted rays peeking through the little windows of the room. Payu leaned over the sink, gripping the sides as he stared at his face in the mirror. His face was wet from the water he'd splashed on it. Water dripping from his brows to his nose. From his temples to his jaw. Droplets glistened on his forearms.
"..."
Payu inhaled and exhaled, expelling the strange tightness around his chest.
He kept staring at his reflection, knowing at the back of his mind that Ple was finally apprehended. Behind bars. Kept away from Rain.
"..."
The threat was gone.
"..."
So what in the hell was the restlessness, the unease, the anxiety eating away at him?
---------------------------
Rain lowered his hands and phone to his chest, the screen of his phone still stuck on Payu's contact.
"... it's faster than usual..."
For some reason, sleep was catching early. Like a force pulling him down and enveloping him so tight he couldn't escape. It was like being submerged in water, him sinking down and down into an infinite black depth.
"..."
It was strange. The pill working so fast when there was nothing he did out of the usual. The sudden ease in a body that should be hurting. The sudden peace that came with it.
"..."
He tried to stay awake. But the sleepiness was strong. The desire to fall all consuming. It was sleepiness too different from all that he'd had. As if he was finally gonna fall in a long sleep he'd been wanting for a long time.
"Ah... maybe because I am sick that's why it's taking effect so fast?"
-------------------------------
Payu straightened, running both his hands over his face. It must be just tiredness and the adrenaline and relief of getting Ple out of the way.
"That's right..." he whispered under his breath. "I should let him know..."
------------------------------
Rain expelled a long deep sigh from within his chest, welcoming whatever comforting sensation he was getting.
"At least a pretty dream..." Rain whispered, his eyes barely keeping open. "A dream..."
Unable to fight it, Rain's eyes began to flutter close.
"...Take me back to that rainy night... when P'Payu and I first met..."
--------------------------------
Payu reached out to the paper towel holder to his left when he felt a cool gust of wind touch his face.
"...?"
It made him halt. Goosebumps marring his skin despite the warmth inside the rest room.
"..."
He looked around the empty stalls. The closed doors. The little windows high up close to the ceiling.
The wind shouldn't possibly be able to enter in a such a closed space.
"..."
Payu resumed drying his hands.
"..."
---‐-----------------------
Floating in a quiet place, Rain's other hand fell. It dangled on the other side of the sofa. The phone falling on the floor with a thud.
He sighed.
And just like that, Rain had fallen asleep.
---------------------
In the middle of what he was doing, the nervousness expanded. His heart beat spiked, the sound loud in his ears.
Payu's unease grew by the second.
And then something caught him off guard.
"...?"
Calmy, gently, a cold air seemed to have embraced him from behind.
---------------------------
Sunday, 5:00 pm, 00:00:00
Tbc.
--------------------------
Notes:
Thank you for waiting for this chapter! See you in the next one!
Note: always consult your physician when you take meds or you have a maintenance before taking other stuff.
Twitter: @master_siomao