Brett woke up feeling warm and comfortable, and as he slowly opened his eyes, he remembered where he was. He was in Eddy's bed, and the younger man was lying next to him, sleeping soundly. Brett turned to look at Eddy's slightly puffy eyelids and frowned brows, and he felt a little swell in his heart but more so the sense of contentment.
He slowly got out of bed and made his way to the bathroom, feeling a bit disoriented but also strangely at ease. As he started to prepare food for the both of them, attention half on the food he was dealing with, half elsewhere.
For the first time in a long time, he had allowed himself to be vulnerable with Eddy, even longer with others. He had confessed his feelings to Eddy, and he had been honest about Toni's intention.
As the food on the stove got heated, Brett's mind wandered, standing there at the kitchen counter staring at Eddy's bedroom door.
Telling Eddy his feelings was part of the plan, but what came next? He has no clue.
Well, obviously the next proper step is to date each other, as he himself told Archer already. But after last night, he's unsure now.
§§
The calm atmosphere was suddenly gone when he sensed Eddy stepping into the space. His whole body tensed but he hoped Eddy didn't notice and continued with making them food.
When Eddy was close enough, still not saying anything, he tried to act as normal as possible and finally greeted. "Good morning,"
"Morning," He can't tell Eddy's mood by that simple word, not without seeing his face. Should I talk about last night or not? Filling the final plate full, the simple meal was all done, no more food for him to meddle with.
Slowly turning his body to put the plates on the table, the moment he saw Eddy's face his skin tingled. He knew he had to talk about it, no doubt, and it was not going to be like any other talks they had before.
"So... last night," His hands were shaking a little, drinking coffee was probably more of a hindrance than help, but still, he needed something to push his inner fear down. "I wanted to make sure you know what I meant."
Eddy stared fixedly at the bowl in front of him, or maybe the tip of his chopsticks, Brett wasn't sure, but he felt a bit more at ease looking at him directly like this. His hands were frozen in place, only his mouth could be seen with the slightest movement chewing the existing food.
"Yeah," After a long while, Eddy finally answered quietly. "I think I do."
Hearing the answer, Brett's heartbeat settled a tiny bit, he took a deep breath and put down his chopsticks. Having decided to go with whatever his mind gave him. "You know... I wanted to make a few things clear before anything else."
Eddy's head turned up a little to peer at Brett, the latter instinctively looked down to avoid eye contact. "Okay...?"
"I will try my best to be honest with you, under the condition that I don't want to hurt you intentionally."
The changing of face told Brett he had said something wrong, but there's no way he could take it back now. The words that came after just confirmed his thoughts.
"What's that supposed to mean? Didn't you say the opposite the other day?"
What?
Eddy's face maintained stern as he put down his chopsticks, too. The words came out a bit too quickly. "You said: 'I want you to be honest with me, even if it hurts. Although I would prefer it not to hurt.'"
When did I say that...?
Ah, that day. But...
After a long while of silence, he finally spoke. "Yeah, I did say that."
He didn't know whether to thank or blame their semi-telepathy ability, while he stayed silent because he didn't know how to express himself, Eddy managed to get some information out without Brett verbalising them.
Silent, nod, and shake.
These were apparently pretty sufficient, especially given that they knew each other well enough.
There were numerous thoughts in his mind as he went back to his own room, although none of them were fully constructed sentences, he couldn't even understand himself right now. Leaving the dishes in the sink, thinking of doing it later, which was unlike him wanting to keep the kitchen clean at all times. He got his phone out to check what he's missing since last night.
Unexpectedly, Archer didn't send him anything, only some of his other friends' group chats were active.
For some reason, Brett was now hesitant to send an update message to him.
Absentmindedly, he slowly replied to the messages that needed his attention. And then a new one popped in.
"yo Brett you're up?"
"This late huh? Had a good time?😏" Sent 11:07am
"What are you even thinking"
"I dont think it went well" Sent 11:07am
"What happened?" Sent 11:08am
"I dont want to sound like an asshole but..."
"I'm not sure if I want to date him now" Sent 11:08am
"wtf"
"Did he did sth...?" Sent 11:08am
"Well not really, it's more of a me problem" Sent 11:09am
"Did you talk to him last night?" Sent 11:09am
"Yeah..."
"Anyway, I'll see how it goes" Sent 11:09am
Brett put his phone away as he sighed, throwing himself onto the bed facing upwards. I have no fucking idea how this will go.
§§
The weekend just passed like that, with the both of them stress-practising, eating take-outs or dining out separately, and when Sunday night came, Brett knew he had to break the ice before tomorrow morning, or else he and Eddy would be the attention centre of their only common electives. If not during the class, by the end of the class, at the very least the rest of their Monday.
No doubt, he just knew.
Especially when they already acted weird for a while now.
But when he went to knock on Eddy's door, he didn't get a response. When he opened the door, he found Eddy asleep already. He couldn't tell if he was tired from all the practising or avoiding him.
Closing the door gently, he felt a bit dejected. He didn't have the gut to wake him up this time, it doesn't matter if he's actually asleep or not. Is he going to the con first by himself tomorrow as well?
He did.
Brett stepped into the classroom seeing Eddy already in his regular seat, some other classmates also in the room greeted him.
It was the first class that day for everyone, plus it's a Monday, a perfectly normal time for people to look grumpy or not energetic, so Brett's curt nod wasn't out of the norm for their classmates.
He hesitantly walked towards where he usually sat – the seat next to Eddy – the latter didn't move.
That's... a good sign.
Nobody in the room was semi-close to them, physically speaking, so Brett wasn't too worried about being asked or bothered right now. Though he still needed to be careful about their interaction, dotting around Eddy.
"Hey," Brett greeted with a low voice as he put his bag and violin down.
Eddy paused his doodling hands and, for the first time since Brett walked into the room, properly acknowledged his presence and returned to his notebook.
It seemed like he decided to not avoid me but not talk to me. Brett thought bitterly and sat down, taking out his own notebook in the process.
He was too focused on staring at Eddy's behaviour and ended up dropping the notebook onto Eddy's lap at a not-so-gentle angle. The sharp edge landed straight on the middle of Eddy's thigh.
"Ouch!" Eddy yelped.
"Sorry, bro." The air between them broke a little, Brett quickly picked it up and reached out his hand to comfort before a thought popped into his mind.
It's probably not suitable for me to touch his thigh.
"'s kay." Eddy mumbled quietly.
That was unexpected. Brett thought, slowly retracting his hand.
They fell into silence after that, each pretending to be busy with their own stuff before the class started. Physically, they are close, as if Eddy knew not to draw attention by acting too suspicious. Still, from all the subtle motions, Brett knew that Eddy definitely didn't want to talk to him... yet.
"Please exchange your notebook with someone beside you, and let's see the answers together, you may discuss further afterwards, so please be quiet for now."
Shuffles and small protests could be heard from some parts in the room.
It's a small quiz towards the end of the class, not weighted, but their professor has a favour to use this method for checking answers. Brett would too be bothered by it like most other students, not if the person he has to exchange with is Eddy.
There's a reason why he chose this class along with Eddy, more like, he persuaded Eddy to take it as well. He did his research.
He casually passed his notebook to the left in the air and reached for Eddy's with his other hand on the table, the younger had already slid it over as if done this a thousand times.
Eddy stared at the notebook in front of him blankly, blinking a few times before starting to match the answers as the professor put them on the whiteboard.
Brett saw it all with his side glances and secretly smiled at that.
Suddenly, Eddy flipped to the back of Brett's notebook, wrote something down, and showed it to him.
stop staring, check my answers
I thought I was subtle... Brett's smile died down in a fraction but resumed a beat later even brighter, reaching his right arm over and scribbled something down.
don't need, you're always perfect
He's telling the truth. Eddy's always getting full marks on these small quizzes, partially thanks to his perfect pitch. What he learned from the last two weeks was that, he just had to scan through the answers when the professor had it all on the whiteboard and if the overall pattern matches, Eddy's definitely 100% again.
But Eddy blushed, even Brett could tell. He put down the notebook pages he was holding and went back to check Brett's answers, terminating the conversation.
And that's when Brett realised something.
Shit, that's the notebook.
It's the beginning of the semester, so he hasn't used much of the notebook yet, but he can't help but fear the what-ifs in his mind a little.
Please don't flip back again. He prayed.
There wasn't much time for him to worry about that however, he was soon called on stage to explain a few answers along with the class as a discussion before the class was wrapped up.
When he came back, the notebooks were exchanged and Eddy's ready to leave for his next period.
"Eddy!"
Brett nearly shouted and regretted it very quickly because Eddy noticed the stares they were getting and glared at him as the others in the room drew attention to them.
Debating between acting normal (what even is normal for them now) and being himself within seconds, Brett managed to squeeze out a smile at his surroundings and catch up with the very-obviously-unwilling-to-wait Eddy.
§§
Eddy sensed Brett's nervousness as soon as his stance changed, he also noticed the sneaky stares towards his notebook.
It couldn't be more obvious that there was something at the back of the notebook he wanted to hide.
Apparently, luck was on his side today, because Brett was soon called onto the stage as one of the students to lead the discussion this time.
When Brett had his back turned towards him, Eddy took the chance to sneak at the pages at the back.
The notebook was still relatively new, it's not too hard to find what pages were blank and what was used.
His fingers soon found the few pages towards the middle containing massive walls of text, and Eddy was surprised to find Brett took the time to write all these down by hand.
Obviously, he didn't remember all the quotes he highlighted, but Brett made it clear which section was his and Eddy's.
He quickly scanned through Brett's own favourite quotes before the owner of the notebook came back, already back to his normal self, hopping a little before jumping into his seat, and didn't realise any indifference from the one sitting beside.
When Brett basically yelled his name in front of the entire class, whatever amount of forgiveness he started to have for him just went back to square one.
Damn Brett for not being able to read the atmosphere.
Fortunately, Brett did know not to make a scene after that, though Eddy had to endure the few seconds of strange starings and atmosphere while the other packed up and left with him.
They came to a stop at an intersection, the one that parts the two of them for their next lesson.
Eddy gave Brett a stern look, conveying: what do you want?
Brett was gasping slightly as he spoke. "I know it's not the time now... but can we talk later?"
Still staring at Brett with the same intensity as Brett got back to his regular breathing, Eddy finally gave a stiff nod and was ready to turn away before Brett grabbed his wrist to turn him around.
"I'll... get some takeout home after class?"
Another stiff nod, and off he went.
§§
Maybe he should really start to question the Toni thing, Eddy thought as he was once again approached by her during his empty period.
"Oh hey, Eddy!"
"Hi... Toni." He greeted back awkwardly. They were in the hallway in front of a bunch of practice rooms, though Eddy didn't have high hopes to score one before his next class as it's pouring outside.
Which also means he couldn't really escape anywhere.
Toni came to sit beside Eddy, a bit too close for his liking with a mere acquaintance, so he scooped over subtly pretending to hold his violin case in a different way.
"So! I was thinking if you'd be interested in doing chamber music with me."
Violin and flute? Not impossible but...
"There will be a festival soon and our professor encourages us to find different instruments to play some non-classical music, so I thought of you and we could play some Naruto theme songs, what do you think?"
Oh right, the festival in April for first years. Eddy thought to himself as he listened. That's so ancient.
"Ugh..." To be honest, he didn't know how to answer, he scratched his head with his empty hand stretching the time to think.
"I have to hand in the names by the end of this month, so you still have time to think, but if you decide earlier we can start the rehearsal early."
"Umm..." Eddy felt like a robot knowing only non-lexical words.
Toni patted his shoulder as she stood up, actually looking a little rushed for once. "I'm actually on my way to find my phone, I think I dropped it somewhere, but then I saw you so I thought to ask you first, let me know if you're up for it and I'll send you the scores later."
Eddy managed to produce a nod before Toni walked off to the opposite way she came from. Disappearing around the corner in mere seconds.
He heaved a sigh of relief, feeling stressful talking to her somehow. Nevertheless, he took out his phone to check his plans for the next couple of weeks.
It did sound fun and it WAS fun when we played together then, but it feels weird doing this now...
While scanning through his schedules, a notification popped up.
[3542QCM Ensemble and Collaborative Activity]
Prof. Morris: Please submit your ensemble group to my email () or drop by during office hours before 23 March midnight. I will be checking if you have your first rehearsal and a confirmed piece when we have our lesson on 28th March.
Damn... Eddy did a few hard scratches on his head as he read. I wasn't paying attention last Friday, I hope I can still find people to group with.
He quickly messaged a few classmates he knew in the same class, hoping there were still vacancies for him.
I really need to use a planner or something.
He looked up from his phone at the notice board hanging on the wall in front of him. There was a huge calendar showing all the major activities throughout the first trimester, and some posters on the other side displaying opportunities for students to partake.
And then he shook his head laughing slightly. Nah, who am I kidding. I've been saying that to myself for 2 years.
Looking back down at his phone where he just typed out his tiny todo list from his scattered brain. Eddy realised something.
Shit, I didn't have her contact information.
TBC.