For some reason this dance felt much harder than the others. Maybe she was just out of it. She'd blank on the dance much more frequently than usual. Most of the time she learned incredibly fast, but she just couldn't get this right. The footwork in the chorus as well as the dance break was especially tripping her up. The group, honestly could have cared less, they weren't happy she was getting down on herself, but they knew she'd get it, it's just her getting into her own head.
"Why don't we stop for the day." Chan said as they were all out of breath from running it over and over. Summer however, would take a sip of water before getting up and practicing it again.
"Sounds like a plan." Changbin said as he laid on the floor. They all packed their stuff, after Jisung had to tell Summer to stop and come back tomorrow at least twenty times. She was annoyed, anyone could tell. She barely spoke, she didn't feel like she could speak.
———
She laid in her bed looking up at the ceiling, thinking about how inferior she felt. She couldn't sleep thinking that she was letting down her group. That was something she never allowed herself to do. Even though none of them thought she was letting them down, she was still getting in her head about it. She had been laying like that for hours. Now it was 4 in the morning. She sat up and saw her two roommates fast asleep in their beds. She got up, grabbing clothes and anything she needed before leaving to change and go to JYP. She left a note on the kitchen counter after refilling Alleys cat food.
@ JYP
-Haeun
She quickly left and closed the door quietly, making sure not to wake anyone up. As she got to the studio she set down her bag and quickly pulled the music up for her to practice to. But still, her mind kept blanking on the choreography at random points. She didn't understand what was going on. Dancing was basically her job, yet she couldn't even do it now. Pathetic. She could do all of it, to a certain extent yet her brain just felt foggy everytime she tried to remember what came next. She was incredibly frustrated with herself to say the least. After a few hours of practice, she was sure at least one of the boys had gotten up and read her note by now. She was tired, a sweaty mess. She had taken off her shirt a bit through so she was wearing just her sports bra and sweatpants. She had sort of figured out the footwork for the chorus but couldn't get it to the speed necessary for the song. The dance break was just not clicking in her head whatsoever. She was in the middle of a rep when the door opened.
"Oh i'm sorry for interrupting."
"Jungsu?" She looked at him like she was dreaming.
"We're here practicing too. I heard your music and thought i'd say hi. I didn't know it was just you here. Where's everyone else?" He asked as he stepped into the room.
"I'm just getting some extra practice in." She claimed, "I'm having a lot of trouble with this choreography and I want to have it down before our next group rehearsal." He sighed.
"How long have you been here Haeun."
"Five hours."
"And have you taken a break?" She opened her mouth to respond, "And I don't mean taking a sip of water and going back to it." She closed her mouth, "Come on let's sit down for a minute." He guided her over to the wall where they both slid down as they sat beside eachother.
"I just don't get it Jungsu. This is my job why can't I do it right? No one else is having problems with it. It's just me. I'm letting them all down because i'm so far behind." She covered her face with her hands in frustration.
"You're overthinking it. I can guarantee you none of your members think your behind or are upset with you. You're a human it's okay to have problems with the choreography at first, it's hard. But they know you'll get it down in due time." She rested her head on his shoulder.
"How's your comeback going?" She changed the topic.
"Its going well." He laughed slightly at her dodging the topic.
"You probably need to go back to practice."
"I'll just practice right here." He pulled up the track to Good Enough as he started to sing the song. Of course other members had parts in it, but he loved the song and knew it all the way through. He wanted to sing it for her, maybe to help cheer her up. It worked. The soft tone of Jungsu's voice helped calm her down. The way he was just so effortlessly amazing at singing was admirable.
Just let me wave to you
Not wave goodbye
Let me stay by your side
Cause it's good enough
Yeah it's good enough for me woah
The song was gorgeous. She already adored it even though she hadn't heard any of their comeback songs yet. This was her special private concert. She smiled as he continued to sing.
Going back and forth and reaching for the place I know
That seems so far
Where you'll put your arms around my heart and keep me warm
All through the night
He reached over and ruffled her hair as she smiled listening to him.
You'll never find
The story of mine
How did he do that so perfectly? So effortlessly? So beautifully? She admired his talent. Everyone around her was incredibly talented. Why was she even there?
"Did you like the song?" He asked.
"It was beautiful." She replied.
"Gunil wrote it." He laughed a little, "It's about a girl he went to school with."
"He's a talented writer." She laughed, "And you're a talented singer."
"Did that help you at all?" He asked.
"Yes." She smiled at him, "Thank you Jungsu."
"I'm always here okay?" He laughed.
"I'll still have you as a friend after we break up right?"
"Fake boyfriend or not i'll always be here for you." He smiled at her. She pulled him into a hug.
"Thank you Jungsu." Her words were muffled, but he could hear her.
"You're welcome Haeun."
"Haeun how-" The door opened, "What-?"
"Hi Jisung." Summer smiled at him.
"What's going on?" He looked at the two, confused.
"Jungsu stopped by when he heard our music." She spoke, "I told him I was practicing by myself because I couldn't figure out this dance for the life of me. So he decided to sit with me so I'd take a break for once."
"Oh." Jisung laughed to himself, "Thank you for looking after her Jungsu."
"I should probably get back to my practice now." Jungsu smiled as he passed Jisung out the door, "Make sure to take breaks Summer!" He yelled before walking out and closing the door behind him.
"That scared me for a second." Jisung laughed.
"What did?" She cocked her head.
"Me walking in on you and Jungsu hugging. It scared me for a second."
"Why?" She asked, "Do you think i'd cheat on you?"
"What? No. I just got scared is all."
"You got scared because you thought I was cheating." She stated, "Do you not trust me?" She looked at him with sad eyes.
"No, Haeun that's not what I mean." He put his hands on her shoulders, "I trust you okay?"
"Then why did that scare you?"
"I-" He took a breath, "I dont know." Before she could speak, the rest of the group walked in for their full group practice.
———
"I'll be back." She walked out of the room on one of their longer breaks to go to the bathroom. Mostly to just think about how she still couldn't do this choreography well and that her own boyfriend didn't trust her. Jisung sat and watched her walk out, but as soon as the door closed, he knew what he had to do. He basically ran to the door.
"Jisung what are you-" He was already out of the room.
"Haeun." He said in the hallway. She turned around to see him.
"What?" She asked.
"I do trust you." He slowly walked towards her, "I promise I do, I just get nervous, because I don't want anyone else to have you. I just want it to be me. I waited for so long and now that I finally have the girl of my dreams I just want her to be mine and only mine."
"So I can't have friends? I can't hug my friends? I hug our members all the time. Why is it different with Jungsu?"
"Because you guys are 'dating' Its different for him. You have to be all lovey dovey with him in public."
"Oh. Yeah. I almost forgot about that." She rubbed the back of her neck, "I'm sorry I got all mad at you."
"I'm sorry I got jealous." He apologized too, "I'll work on it."
"No Ji. You have a valid reason for getting scared I just lashed out because everything's just driving me insane recently." She laughed a little, "Like this goddamn choreography." She rolled her eyes.
"We all know you'll get it sweetie. I promise you don't need to keep ripping at yourself for not getting it right away. It takes practice." He smiled, "I promise you're fine." She took a deep breath before nodding.
"I just hate being the only one that can't get it. It makes me feel like i'm holding you all back." She spoke.
"You've never held us back. No matter what we're always here to help you okay?" He pulled her into a tight hug.
"Okay." She nodded.
A/N: So i'm thinking of making a new book once this is done, probably called 'Summer's Xtras' or something where I add in all of the little extra chapters you all wanted. I'll make sure to label them like '5.5' or something so you all know where it fits in with the story. So let me know if you'd like that or if you'd like me to just add it on in here.