Broken But Beautiful.
Chapter 19. Dishearted...
"Why you seem to be distracted these days"? Mew backhugged Gulf who was standing in the terrace looking over the river flowing in front.
"Hmmm? Distracted? No Phi. Just tired. Studying medicine is tiring". Gulf leaned his head on Mew's shoulders. Mew enveloped him in his arms letting him relax.
"Your decision to shift in Chaing Mai, whatever it was, it was best Phi". He said looking afar.
"And why is that"?
"This place is peaceful. Its like a lullaby. Sometimes the river is furious, like telling me to fight with the damons and negative thoughts. Sometimes its calm. Asking me to let everything with flow. As in the time settles everything. Every day the sun peeps through the curtains indicating there is always a new day to every dark night. Like there is always a solution to every porblem. This place is like a mother to me. Consoling me, soothing me. Pampering me. Thank you for bringing me here Phi". Gulf was speaking his heart. Mew couldnt get where did it come from.
"Come here". He took Gulf to the U shaped cane chair hanging near the fireplace. He settled inside taking Gulf into his lap.
"Nature is the biggest blessing of God. It heals the soul. It helps us relax and calm down our wrecked nerves. I dont know what is bothering you but am always here for you. I wont leave your side ever. In every thick and thin. In every difficulty and happiness. I will always be with you". Mew said kissing his hair line.
"Whatever i do phi? In every decision? Even if i take it on my own"? Gulf looked upto his eyes.
Mew cupped his cheek with one hand, caressing with his thumb. He softly kissed the tip of his nose.
"Anything and everything Gulf. I trust you with my life. You are all i have. Besides i know you wont do anything to break us apart". He hug him tight tucking his head under his chin.
Gulf was softly moving his fingers on Mew's chest. Taking in the beautiful night view. The mountains, the slight sound of river. The night birds. It was serene. Like Mew said, healing his soul.
"Girls sleeping"? Mew asked.
"Dont ask. Jeez they are getting super hyper. They took your antics of showing puppy eyes and pouting". Gulf said sitting up straight. Mew laughed out loud at the accusations. He didnt negate them. He knew Gulf was right. He loved his family so much and he had spoiled the girls to core.
For now he would mostly stay at home. The cafe turned into a little restaurant. He had hired some of his trust worthy chefs from his other cafes to run this place. While he would just visit and check for customer feed back. Bright's parents were living a relaxed happy life. They had struggled alot and now it was their time to spend time leisurely.
Not to mention, Mew would still bake Gulf's favorite cookies, pastries and cakes whenever he would spend time on weekends. And as routine, Gulf would visit him in the evening with girls to buy his snacks. And not to forget the girls who would ask for their share of cookies baked by their favorite chef, their dada. Bright was doing side projects with his studies to secure his future with Win that Mew supported him fully.
Max met Mew few days back and told that he saw Tae in a bar. Wasted and hooked. And he followed him upstairs as he was taking two girls to a room. Max told him that he checked the security cams and as suspected, the girls were planning to take his money and leave him alone but he managed to rescue Tae with his money, mobile and car and took him home.
Mew felt a pang in his heart. So much time had passed but the pain wont go away. He didnt want to ask but Max told him himself.
He told that Tee was in poor shape. He asked Max to put Tae asleep. Max told that he wasnt sure but he saw a little boy in the room. Max told that Tae was muttering some sorries and crying out loud before he left him to Tee.
Mew gulped the drink from his glass in one go. They were in Mew's home. Gulf saw him distressed after Max left. He wanted to go to him, to console him. But he felt helpless. He was watching Mew drinking and walking in the garden. There was a fire in him that burnt him and he wanted to ease it down. He wanted to check on Tae. He wanted to see his baby brother. But he knew he couldnt. Not that he couldnt but precisely he didnt want to. He didnt want to open the wounds again. He could only pray for them to be happy. That he forgave them in his heart.
**********
Gulf was called to the doctor for insemination. The process was tiring and kind of painfull. But Gulf could bear every pain for even a single ray of hope. He waa thankful in his heart that he had no lectures that day and he could easily manage to inform Mew that he would be going to the National Hospital for case study.
The result was expected in 3 weeks. Since Gulf had no menstural cycle to check for the schedule he had to report exactly after 3 weeks if there is no other symptoms. He was free for a week that he planned to spend with his family. Mew was happy to have him home for a week. They planned for a picnic near the river, just across their home. It was a safe place for the girls to play. Their guards were standing at distance to keep an eye for the saftey of the family.
They were enjoying their time together. It was the second week when Gulf was in university. He felt an uneasiness in the pit of his stomach. Like his stomach was churning. He excused himself and rushed to the restroom. May be vomitting would help the knotts in his stomach. He wanted to relieve himself but the next moment his eyes were open wide in horror. His breifs had blood strains. That had not reached his pants yet. Terrified, he called his doctor who asked him to visit as soon as possible.
He knew the risk still his heart was beating fastly for any miracle while he was on the way to the hospital in a cab. He was quickly rushed to the emergency room to take some tests and he got all his answers looking at the gloomy face of the doctor.
"It was a fail attempt Gulf. I am sorry". He was patting the shoulders of a distressed man. He was hiccuping badly. And worst part, he couldnt share with Mew. He took some time to calm himself before heading home.
Mew was in the lounge watching a disney movie with the girls. Laying on the floor cushions. He looked at Gulf with surprise because he was way too early to get back home. But he was happy anyway. He stood up to greet him but shocked in worry to see tears running down Gulf's face.
"Baby. Gulf. What happened? You okay baby? Hurt? Someone said anything? Gulf"? He panicked when Gulf hug him tight crying bitterly in his chest.
"Gulf you are scaring me baby". He took him to the chair patting his head and back. Nattarine and Nattarika had paused the movie too. They were standing by Gulf's side waiting for their papa to speak out.
"I.. Phi... Phiii". Gulf couldnt form a single word. He was shaking uncontrollably.
"What happened baby. Talk to me". Mew handed him a glass of water that he refused.
"Phi. I.. I saw a patient at..at the hospital. He wanted to try conceive for his baby with his husband. But he lost him Phi". Gulf told between tears. Though Mew couldnt exactly get why Gulf was so distressed. Still he didnt comment about it.
"Is there any chance your umm friend can try again"? Mew asked once Gukf was settled. He nodded his head. "Then there is hope. He shouldnt lose hope because he has a chance. Ask him to stable himself and try again hmmm"? Mew was as always his comfort. Gulf sighed in relief. He knew he had another chance but the doctor had told him about the risks. The bacteria in his body due to the infection that he was informed berfore hand, could be deadly if tried again. But he wanted to try it. For now he had to wait at least 2 months before going again.
"Papa clying like the plinshis in the caltoon". Nattarika said once she saw her papa had calm down.
"Papa did you losht youl diamond"? Nattarine chirped in. Gulf chuckled. He opened his arms to hold his princess in his arms.
"Papa has the most precious gems in the world. My ruby and my pearl". He kissed their foreheads before pulling them into his embrace. "But yes papa lost his diamond". He said missing Nattasha. The girls didnt get what their papa meant but Mew, who was going in the kitchen stopped in his tracks.
"Yes we lost our diamond". He murmured to himself before turning around to hide the little tear threating to fall down.
*************
"Phi Bai". Win called him who was working in the lounge.
"Yes bunny"? He replied in a busy tone.
"Phi. Are you free this weekend"? He asked from the kitchen. Cutting vegetables for lunch.
"Hmm. Why Bunny? Missing home"? Bright closed his papers walking to the kitchen to help him.
"Hmm missing home plus i have to go shopping. Its been 4 months i didnt visit home". Win said with a little smile. The university life was hectic. Projects assignments, he was so occupied that he couldnt go home. Thanks to Bright who helped him settle or he was too home sick to leave everything and run back.
"Okay. We will go to mall tomorrow and then home". Bright ruffled his hair and his lips stretched full to see the smile on Win's face.
"Lets hurry now. Lets have lunch and then we will go". Win turned to quickly prepare lunch but he was bound in a warm pair of arms.
"I have one condition. I want my favorite desert after lunch". Bright huskily said squeezing his chest. Win turned over his shoulder to see him wiggling his eye brows.
"You can have your desert as much as you want. Anytime". Win replied with his innocent eyes but mischievous tone.
"Is that so"? Bright looked from his eyes to his lips and stuck when Win playfully bit his lower lip between his perfect white teeth.
There was no more answer required. Bright cupped his cheek with one hand, tilting his face and attached their lips together. Sweetly savouring and licking. Upper lip then lower. He was sucking those honey suckle lips that caught his heart from the very first moment he saw Win in the college.
It always amused him the way Win would properly use his lips. Biting when nervous or blush or tease. Pout when sulking. The smooch every time Bright would drop or pick. The lick in front of his favorite food. Or cutely mouth open when surprised. Win was his treasure. Someone he kept for himself only.
He wanted to keep him for his eyes only forever. He would tease him, love him, pamper him or spoil as Gulf would say. But he would be scared thinking about the horrible 2 days that he spent in negative dark pit whether he would find his bunny ever or not. The nights he spent holding him tight when he would cry in his sleep asking for forgiveness. How many times he had pecked his lips to stop his ramblings. The way he loved everytime Bright would treat him with his favorite frosted blueberry cheese cake. He would always lose himself in the innocent beauty of his boyfriend. Just like now.
He didnt know when he started kissing his lips fully that Win couldn't breathe. He restored his senses back once Win tapped his chest panting hard.
"Let me breathe will you". He fake huffed.
"No". Bright smirked and put him on his shoulder to take him to the bedroom. Ignoring his protests and pleads. He put him on the bed before pulling off his tee shirt and hovered him.
"You said i can have my desert anywhere anytime. I want it now. Am sooo hungry for you bunny". He said sucking a mark on his neck and chest.
"Then... Have it your way". Win looped his arms around his neck pulling him to his lips. And that was all Bright wanted to hear.