"What just happened?" I asked Brian as soon as we were in the elevator. I'm still confused as hell.
To my surprise, Brian burst out laughing while I stared at him in confusion and disbelief.
"Oh my god, Cara! You should've seen your face!" And he continued laughing.
We reached the basement with him still laughing.
"Cut it out, that's not funny. What was that all about?" I asked him irritated.
"Where's your car?"
I pointed to where my car was, and we both walked toward it. When I opened it, Brian threw my purse on the back seat and then guided me to the passenger side.
"Brian!" I yelled at him.
"I'm gonna bring you home." He said plainly.
"You have your car here, why would you..."
"I'll take a cab after I drop you home."
"That makes no sense!"
"Juts get in the car, Cara."
"Not until you tell me what happened upstairs." I was holding the car door while he just stood in front of me.
"Fine!" He surrendered.
"I just wanted to take you away from her, ok? It's past 6 in the evening, office hours is just till 5."
I chewed the inside of my cheek.
"So, I will be doing that every day. What you're doing now with Alex, it's above your pay grade, she shouldn't be doing that to you. She should take another intern to help you with that, okay?" He continued.
"Fine. But you don't have to take me home, I can drive. I don't want to bother you so much." I told him.
"I know, but let me drive you. I'm happy to drive you, Cara." He smiled and sincerely said.
"Okay, okay! But... Can we at least eat somewhere? I'm starving."
Brian widened his smile.
"I would love that!"
While on the way, Brian did not stop talking.
He talks mostly about his work, how he finds it so interesting, that he's learning so much, even if it's taking so much of his time, it is fine because he grew to love the work and the company and its people.
We stopped at a pizza place, which by the way excites me as it's been ages since I've eaten a pizza.
"I knew you would be excited to eat here." Brian said as soon as we settled inside.
"How'd you know?"
The waitress came and we were interrupted. We gave our order and Brian spoke as soon as she left.
"I remember in college, every time we would eat pizza, you would always say no and would tell us that you eat pizza only on a schedule as you don't want to ruin your diet." Emphasizing the diet.
"Why is it a big deal for you guys that I do diet?" I told him smiling.
"Aside from me, who's making it a big deal?"
"Well, Claire, the girls and..." I had to stop midsentence as I remember Alex was making it such a big deal when it came up in one of our conversations.
"And?"
"Well... Alex, she, umm. Anyway, the point is, you guys are making it a big deal."
There was a moment of silence or rather an awkward silence.
"Are you okay, Cara?" Brian asked after a while. His loving eyes were staring at me, worries across them.
I sighed.
"I will be, Bry. Not now, but, I know I will be." It was the truth.
"Thank you for being honest with me. But, do you mind if I ask what happened?"
Should I tell him? I know Brian and I know that I can trust him, but she's her cousin, they are related. I don't want to put him in the middle of whatever is happening between Alex and me.
"If I say yes?" I'm trying to weigh what he'd say.
"Well, I won't ask about it."
"Hmm..."
"What hmm?"
I smiled faintly at him.
Looking at his beautiful face, I can't help but ask for the ninth time, why can't I have feelings for this man?
He is sweet, genuine, loyal, I mean, he is really a catch, a dream guy. I know I've said that a lot, but he really is.
Why can't it be him? Why it should be Alex, a person who doesn't want me? Why would she be like my Mother?
"Cara?"
I was made back to my senses.
Even before I could speak, the waitress came with our order.
The smell of freshly baked pizza made my mouth watery. I even forgot what we were talking about and dug in.
Brian did the same while he was laughing.
"You look like you were starved for days the way you were feasting on that pizza." He joked laughing.
"I can't remember the last time I had one of these, god, they are so goooood!"
I think Brian just had 2 slices and I had eaten the rest, It was a large pizza and I almost finished it all. Maybe if I was alone, I have definitely eaten it all.
"Full?" He asked.
"Very!"
Brian leaned his back on the chair and I did the same while I rubbed my belly.
I am really full, I might go to a food coma any minute now.
"You okay?"
"I think I ate a lot."
"You think?" We both burst out laughing.
"Fine, I ate a lot!"
Brian signaled for the waitress to get our bill, after he paid, we both stood up while he held my hand for me to get support, such a gentleman.
"Drive back to the office, Bry. Take your car, I can drive home." I told him once we were seated in the car.
"In your state right now, you think you can drive?" He teases me.
"Look at yourself? I think you're gonna sleep there while I drive." He continued.
I slapped his arm while he giggled.
"It's your fault, you brought me to the pizza place."
"Ohh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean for you to eat a lot and made you so full." He said mocking me.
"Stop! I'm gonna throw up in here!" I told him while laughing.
Brian started the car while laughing along with me.
At that moment, I forgot my heartache. I am with a friend with a very open mind, very understanding, and loves me. At this moment, I felt safe, I felt like myself.
How I wish it was Alex who was making me feel these but it wasn't her.
It was Brian. He loves me.
But he is not Alex.
And I don't love him the way I love Alex. That even if he's making me feel safe and made me forget about her for some time, I would still crave someone's attention, I would still wish he was someone else, that he was Alex.
How can life be so unfair?
As Brian drove, we joked around, teased each other, we laughed and laughed till we reached my apartment.
"I had a great time, Bry. Thank you so much... I needed it."
"Anytime, Car."
We both climbed down my car, and as I turned to the driver's side, Brian hugged me and kissed me on the cheek.
"I'll see you tomorrow." He said before hailing a cab.
I watched him ride the cab and even stayed till I couldn't see them.