If it weren't for his bigoted views and the possibility that he was abusing his son, Gracie might have liked her birth father. He was friendly and cheerful, interested in everything Gracie said, and he spoke proudly of Jasper. He seemed like a perfectly normal guy, despite his money he was humble and extensively apologetic for having not known about Gracie for years.
When they got home, Gracie went straight up to her room, successfully avoiding further questions from her mom. Maia was sitting at her vanity putting on makeup and getting ready to go out, she always had some kind of social event to attend on weekends, "Oh hey," Maia turned away from the mirror, "How was it?"
It had been a long day, and Gracie was exhausted, but she managed not to snap at Maia, "Can we talk about something else?" Gracie said, laying back on her bed and kicking her shoes off with a huff, "Where are you going tonight? Another party?"
Maia put down her makeup, "Actually, I'm glad you asked," she sat at the end of her bed, facing Gracie, "I wanted to talk to you about something."
Gracie sat up, crossed her legs, and looked at her sister curiously, Maia was rarely this serious. "What is it?"
"It's about Jason," Maia gritted her teeth, "He asked me out."
Her confused expression quickly turned to surprise, "Oh," was all she managed to say.
Maia scanned her sister's face, trying to gauge how she felt, "And I said yes," she continued, hoping Gracie would give something away.
Eyebrows still raised, mouth slightly open, "Oh," she said again, but a blank stare remained in her eyes.
"I can still say no if you don't want me to go," Maia said sincerely, but she was biting her lips, clearly hoping for a more positive response.
Gracie realized she hadn't said anything of substance yet, "No," she said, shaking her head, "No, you should go," Gracie said, finally getting her head around it.
"Really?" Maia asked, "He's your ex, and that's kind of the golden rule of sisterhood, don't date each other's exes."
"Maia," Gracie laughed knowing Jason was a far better match for her older sister anyway, "It's fine, really," she insisted.
Maia stood up and hugged her, "Thank you," she smiled, "I was so worried that you'd be mad," she sat down next to Gracie.
The last time Maia was nervous to talk to Gracie was right after she was stabbed. "So, you really like Jason?" She smiled as she watched Maia's cheeks flush red at the sound of his name. "When did this happen?" Suddenly she was excited to be talking with her sister about something so normal.
"I was trying to flirt with Mikey Wilson after the soccer game last week, but he barely noticed I was there," Maia explained, then her face softened in the same way Gracie's did when she thought of Rachel. "And then Jason just came up and said hi, and we started talking."
"About what?"
"I don't know, nothing really, everything? The next thing I knew, everyone else had gone home, the sun was going down, and hours passed in the blink of an eye. I had never felt like that with someone before, so I kissed him."
Gracie smiled, and hugged Maia again, "I'm so happy for you." She wished she could tell her sister about Rachel, but the voice in the back of her head told her it was a bad idea.
The following Friday morning was quiet, Gracie woke up early to get ready for the day, she was getting more nervous by the second. It was finally time to introduce her girlfriend to her best friend.
"Are you still hanging out with Sarah today?" Danny asked through a mouthful of toast.
The older kids in the house liked to sleep in a lot later than the rest of the family, and Stella wasn't home from her night shift yet, so, at breakfast, it was just Gracie, Danny, and Lilah.
"Yeah, we're going to the beach," Gracie replied, crossing her fingers that Danny wouldn't invite himself along. She was nervous enough as it was. At first she was excited, but now the time had arrived and she couldn't stop imagining every possible scenario. How they all seemed to end badly.
Danny bit his lip, "Could I come too?"
"Actually," she said. Lilah's face hardened as she listened to Gracie. "I was hoping to spend some time with just me and her," she shifted awkwardly, once again getting sick of the lies.
"Gracie?" Lilah said. It was all she needed to say for Gracie to know her mother didn't like that she was leaving her brother out.
"It's just-" she panicked briefly. Though he had been rooting for Gracie and her secret girlfriend initially, Danny now felt the same way as the rest of the Tuckers. Rachel hurt Riley, and there was no taking that back. "Well, she's leaving for boarding school at the end of summer, and we've both got a lot going on until then, so this could be one of the last times I'll get to see her."
"Oh right," he nodded.
"Sorry," Gracie said.
"Where's Ethan?" Lilah asked, "You two are usually attached at the hip."
"He's on vacation with his family," Danny rolled his eyes, "For two weeks."
Lilah looked at Gracie again and raised her eyebrows expectantly.
"Okay fine," Gracie said, she felt bad for Danny, she'd barely spent any time with him this summer, "You can come."
She excused herself from breakfast when she was finished and went up to the bathroom to call Rachel. Her fingers trembled as she pressed the button, this would be difficult to explain. But she was almost relieved that it would have to be postponed, maybe it was too soon for them to meet each other anyway.
"I'm sorry," Gracie said after explaining she'd have to cancel their plans.
"So you're choosing him over me?" Rachel sounded annoyed.
"No, I'm not choosing anything, it's just this one time I have to cancel, I'm sorry. Danny doesn't know about us yet. I mean, I want to tell him, but I-"
"No. Don't tell him," she raised her voice, taking Gracie aback, "Don't tell anyone. It's like you're trying to break us up!"
Months ago, Rachel wanted their relationship to be out in the open, and Gracie knew it was a risk. But since the incident at the hospital, Rachel had been insistent the Tuckers couldn't know. Gracie still knew it was a risk, and although she was a seasoned secret keeper, the boulder was getting heavier and harder to keep pushing uphill. One misstep and the boulder would come rolling back down, and if it did, Gracie would be the one to get flattened.
Gracie surrendered quickly, "Okay, okay I won't. Just, please don't be mad."
"You can't blame me for being angry. I see you once a week if I'm lucky. It's not my fault that you're choosing your stupid family over me. Again."
Gracie stifled a sob, "That's not what I'm doing, I'm sorry, I-"
"Stop saying that!" She snapped, "God, can't you ever stand up for yourself?"
Gracie stayed silent. Hostility radiated through the speaker. Gracie's skin tingled as she broke a sweat and her heart raced faster than the water from the faucet she turned on whenever she had secret phone calls. It had been so long since they last fought. Again, it was Gracie's fault. She'd forgotten how loud Rachel could get when she was upset. She scolded herself as her brain made the comparison between Rachel and the man who lept at her from across the courtroom.
'They are not the same.'
"I didn't mean that," Rachel said with a huff.
"I know," Gracie said quietly.
"I just love you so much." Gracie relaxed again, hearing those words from Rachel always made her melt. "I get too intense, I'm sorry."
"I love you too," she sighed, "More than anything."
Barely a five-minute conversation had exhausted her. Catching the reflection in the bathroom mirror, she saw the streaks of black tears and her puffy red cheeks, aching. She hadn't realized how much she'd cried and hoped Rachel hadn't realized either because the last thing she wanted was for her to feel bad for getting rightfully angry. She cleaned her face, reapplied the makeup that had washed away, and took a breath before leaving the house with Danny.
When Danny got into the car instead of Rachel, Sarah knew something was amiss, and to Gracie's relief, she didn't say anything revealing. Gracie spent the drive to the beach crossing her fingers that Sarah would continue to keep quiet, Sarah spent it glancing over at Gracie, noticing that she was pulling at the hem of her shirt, and Danny sat in the back seat completely oblivious to the tension.
The sun was blinding, the waves were calm and a gentle breeze offered relief from the blistering heat. Sarah lay flat on her back, topping up her tan while Gracie sat beneath a parasol eating an apple that Lilah had snuck into her beach bag when she wasn't looking.
"Are you gonna tell me why she's not here or do I have to drag it out of you?" Sarah asked now that Danny was cooling off in the sea, out of earshot. "What happened?"
"Nothing happened, Danny wanted to come," Gracie obfuscated.
"Then why are you acting so weird?"
"I'm not," Gracie insisted, "I wanted Rachel to come, and she was upset, but I had to cancel on her because Danny's boyfriend is on vacation and Lilah made me bring him," she said.
Sarah propped herself up on her elbows, "Couldn't you have brought them both? I mean, if you could tell me about her then surely you can tell Danny, he is your brother. I thought you guys were close."
"We are. It's not that simple."
"What did Rachel say?" Sarah sat up to face her friend and took her sunglasses off to look her in the eye, "When you told her she couldn't come today."
Sarah was digging for something, and Gracie knew it, "I told you, she was upset," she answered vaguely, "And maybe a little mad. But she's over it."
She had already rationalized everything Rachel said on the phone and didn't want to go over it again with Sarah, but she was relentless, "What did she say, Gracie?"
Gracie let out a huff through her nose, "She said that I always choose the Tuckers over her."
Sarah's face screwed up, "Did she yell at you?"
"No," Gracie answered too fast and Sarah saw right through the lie, "Yes. But it was my fault, I made her angry, she was just hurting because we barely see each other, I would have snapped too!"
"You're still defending her," Sarah shook her head with disapproval.
"Yeah because she's done nothing wrong! She loves me, okay? She wants what's best for me. And anyway it doesn't matter because we talked after and it's fine now." Sarah stared back at Gracie. "This is why I wanted you to meet her; you don't know her the way I do, and you're only assuming the worst."
"Because you've given me no reason not to. After what she did to Riley and what she's doing to you now."
"What she's doing to me?" Gracie scoffed.
"She won't let you tell anyone else-"
"It's not that she won't let me," Gracie interrupted, "It's just too soon, still. My moms won't talk about what happened, Riley thinks I deleted her number."
"It's always going to be too soon, don't you get that?" Sarah said, "They'll probably never forgive Rachel, and they shouldn't have to."
"No, she didn't mean it she just felt cornered," Gracie defended Rachel, "Look, I just need time."
Sarah crossed her arms, "Yeah, time away from her."
"Can you stop?" Gracie was on the verge of tears again, and she didn't want to give Sarah the satisfaction. "Just leave it alone."
"Fine, you just let me know when you're ready to stop lying to everyone."
Gracie was about to launch a retort when Danny came back over and sat down, "Everything okay?" He asked, finally catching on to the tension that had been brewing since they got in the car.
"We're leaving," Gracie said glowering at Sarah. She stood up and started packing her things away.
"What why?" Danny asked, but he followed her lead anyway.
"Moms want us home," she lied and threw her bag over her shoulder.
"Gracie," Sarah said, "Come on."
"Bye," she said plainly before dragging Danny back up the dunes.
She stormed ahead of him while he was still trying to get his shoes on, "Gracie," he called after her, "Gracie wait a second, why do moms want us home?"
"They don't, I lied," she continued ahead of him.
"Why?" She ignored him, "Gracie!"
"What?" Gracie stopped and turned to face him.
Danny looked confused, "Why are you snapping at me?"
She sighed, and bit her lip, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to, can we just go please?"
They walked in silence the whole way home, Gracie ignored the greetings from her parents and went straight up to her room, but Danny followed. He stood in the doorway awaiting an explanation for dragging him away from the beach.
"Look, it's not about you, it's nothing to do with you so can you just give me some space?" She asked, but he remained. "Please, Danny."
"No," he shook his head and walked in, closing the door behind him, "See that's the thing about family, we'll be here whether you want us or not," he sat opposite her on his oldest sister's bed.
Gracie knew he just wanted to help, so she tried to figure out a way to explain what happened with Sarah without giving away her secret, "Sarah and I fell out. That's all. But we'll be fine, we always are," she barely believed herself, and part of her wanted never to talk to Sarah again.
"Then why are you crying?" Danny stood up and sat next to Gracie.
She couldn't keep it in, though it was a mistake to tell Sarah, and Rachel didn't want her to tell anyone else, she needed someone to talk to about what happened at the beach, and she knew that Danny was the least likely of everyone she knew to judge her.
"Promise you won't tell moms?" She asked.
Danny contemplated, "I promise," he said, knowing he'd betrayed her trust once before.
"She's mad at me because I'm seeing someone, but before you get too excited, you should know, it's Rachel," she braced for an explosive response, but Danny didn't move.
He looked back at her, "Rachel," he replied, "You're back together?" For someone who looked so confused, he understood perfectly.
She nodded, and let out a sigh of relief as he remained calm in reaction to her secret.
"How long?"
"We didn't end it after what happened at the hospital, I lied. But then we did end it, then we got back together again, and we've been good ever since."
Danny turned away for a second, thinking.
Gracie couldn't bear another second of silence not knowing if this changed the way he saw her, "Are you- I mean, do you hate me?"
He turned back, shocked, "No, no Gracie, I could never hate you. I just... I need a second."
She nodded, and they sat in silence for a few minutes. Danny stood up again and started pacing around the room. Now and then, he would start a question, but stop himself.
"Please say something, a whole sentence," Danny stayed quiet, "Maybe a question? Please, Danny."
Danny sat down again, took his sister's hand, and asked, "Do you trust her?"
Gracie sighed knowing she could trust Rachel more than anyone, "With my life."
"Then I trust you," Danny hugged his sister.
"Thank you," Gracie was relieved, she knew she could tell him, but Rachel was so certain he would tell her moms. "I think I just need some space from Sarah, there's still so much going on without her picking apart my every move."
"But she's your best friend."
"I've got you."
The two shared another hug and spent the rest of the evening in Danny and Marco's room playing their favorite video game and stuffing their faces with junk food, Danny's recommended remedy for solving problems.