After meeting Brinny, Naomi was unsure how to feel. The woman seemed nice and loved her dog and her boyfriend, but she also had nicknames for Kieran. He'd settled into that environment like a second home, which meant he spent a lot of time there. Not every day, according to him, but enough that he was still probably interested in her. She was bustier than Naomi, had curvaceous hips, and a petite stature most men preferred over Naomi's intimidating height and athletic figure.
Let it go. Tonight was about Rusty and work, not you.
But it was hard to brush it off because Kieran's attention was the distraction keeping her stable this week. His sweet and funny messages made her smile and forget about her pain. Greg was radio silent, and she had acted the same toward him as much as that hurt. Marc had texted to check on her, but it wasn't the same as hearing from the man she'd loved.
At least Shivanna was home tonight, judging by the lights on in the house. As Naomi left her car and grew closer, loud music with a strong bassline vibrated the doorstep. Once she stepped inside, Shivanna cruised around the living room, dusting shelves to the rhythm of the beat. She turned down the volume after spotting Naomi.
"Hey, how was training? New client, right?"
Naomi set down her bag and nodded as Cleo trotted over to inspect the unfamiliar smells on her clothes. "Kieran's friend Brinny." Once Cleo had her fill, Naomi grabbed another rag to help Shivanna clean.
"Oh." Shivanna's interest in dusting faded. "What's she like?"
"Nice enough. She genuinely cares about her dog and seems motivated to train him." Naomi searched for a shelf that was still dusty.
"Mm-hmm, and what about in a non-professional capacity?" Shivanna raised her eyebrows.
"She and Kieran get along well."
"She said bitterly," Shivanna teased with a nudge to Naomi's shoulder. "You should tell him you're out of pizza. Bet he'd be back here in a flash, regardless of how he gets along with Brinny."
Naomi sighed and stared at the photo on the shelf of her and Greg at his brother's wedding. If only she had known all that pining was for nought. Worse than that, she couldn't see their friendship returning to anything but awkward and distant. She'd lost one of her closest friends and longtime loves, which was worse than any of her past break-ups. She pulled the entire frame down to tuck it in the cupboard below.
"I'm not sure about that."
"People don't drop everything and rush to comfort someone out of the blue without a reason."
She'd accused Kieran of many motivations when they first met, but he'd settled on 'I enjoy talking to you.' Since then, he'd grown fond of her hugs as well, although they'd both been left wanting today as they were at Brinny's. She'd wanted to be professional, and he had stepped back once Brinny was around. However, every time Naomi looked at him, he seemed to stare and smile at her like she was the adorable puppy instead of Rusty. Was that a sign?
Is that what you want? You're projecting because you lost Greg, and you're trying to fill a void.
"It's too soon to consider that. He's just being nice." Naomi returned to dusting around Shivanna's family photos and a few group shots with their friends. "How's the hunt for a summer job going?"
Shivanna's raised eyebrow told Naomi she hadn't bought the answer. "The art camp sounds promising, and the pay is decent too."
"No conflict with evening classes?"
"None, and they were open to most of my project ideas."
"That's because you're a genius."
Shivanna beamed. "Thank you, I try. What about your private clients? Are you finding many of those?"
They were more lucrative than sessions at the training center, but she could only find and do so much. With Greg giving her the cold shoulder, she'd have to learn about investing and money, not that she had much left after her bills and the mortgage payments. She and Shivanna were saving up to redo the shingles, but Shivanna had all the luck work-wise. Being a salaried high school art teacher with a few side hustles helped. Unfortunately, the government didn't need kids to know how to train dogs, so Naomi was stuck in her lane.
"Brinny's the only new one this month."
"More will come."
Naomi's phone buzzed in her pocket for too long for it to be a text. Upon glimpsing the name on the screen, she smiled, and Shivanna chuckled.
"Ask for a vegetarian one this time," Shivanna said.
Naomi poked out her tongue and answered the call. "Hey, Kier," she teased.
"Not going to lie. That made me cringe."
It was interesting that he hated that nickname. Was it because she had said it and not Brinny, or had he never told Brinny he disliked it? "Sorry, everything alright?"
"Yeah, I just wanted to hear your voice."
Naomi laughed and fought her urge to swoon. "You heard it all evening."
"It's not the same with Brinny there. Not that you weren't awesome. Shivanna was right. You are a dog whisperer."
Naomi smiled and left for her bedroom to avoid her friend's teasing stare. "I do what I can."
"You were the highlight of my night."
"Thanks. It was a tie between you and Rusty. He's pretty adorable."
Kieran chuckled. "I'll take that as a compliment. How are you holding up?"
She shut the door and lay on her queen-sized bed. Tiredness settled into her bones. When she was out or focused on work, she pretended nothing had changed, but this house triggered her. The last text from Greg was about coming over before their break-up on the living room couch. When she read it, it was like she was in some weird alternate reality where it would erase their fight and she'd get a do-over, even though that was false. She had to tuck everything with Greg away like that photo in the cabinet.
"I'm fine, I think."
"You don't have to be. As much as I love seeing you happy, it's difficult to lose a future you dreamed of. It's okay to grieve for it."
Naomi stared at her the glossy red fabric of her jersey hanging on the outside of her closet. Game night had gone from the best to the worst day of the week. "I have a softball game tomorrow, and he's on the team. We haven't spoken since last week."
"Bail?"
She'd considered it, but she would fixate on the game and what her teammates, Greg included, were thinking if she skipped.
"I have other friends there, too. Marc's good at being neutral. Greg's pissed off Ian, our main pitcher and his ex's younger brother, so Ian will have my back. I don't want to let them down." Imagining joking around with those two softened her nerves.
"Did I meet Marc at the party?"
"He's got dark hair, and he lives with Greg."
"The nice one."
"He is a sweetheart."
"Bet you wish you'd been into him."
Despite his kindness, Marc treated her the same as any other friend, whereas Greg had spent extra time with her, noticed what she liked, and made her feel special. That attention helped trigger her romantic feelings for Greg and her exes. Without it, friendship was a satisfying option.
"That's always been platonic, plus he has a wonderful girlfriend. Looking at them, you know they've found exactly what they needed in each other."
"When I first saw you and your ex together, I thought 'this guy is wildly insecure because he knows this woman is way too good for him'."
Yet Greg had devalued her because she didn't find his stereotypical girlfriend or relationship image based on allosexuality. They'd hardly even dated for a month after over a decade of feelings. Naomi pressed her head deeper into the pillow.
"I wouldn't go that far."
"He diminishes you when you should be shining as bright every day as you did tonight. You're impressive on so many levels. No matter what happens, never forget that."
Her cheeks were warm against her fingertips. His words were the closest substitute for his amazing hugs. "Thanks, Kieran. I swear you're the break-up whisperer. A few minutes with you and I'm on cloud nine."
"Good, because you deserve to be. If you need to chat during, before, or after the game, call me, okay?"
"I hope I don't need to, but I appreciate it."
"I hope that too, but don't hesitate to call." Kieran's slow inhalation echoed on the line. "If you want to hang out after the game, I'm free."
Her heart leapt. But he couldn't be asking her out so soon after Greg. It had to be a friendly offer. One that thrilled her either way.
What about drinks with the team? Greg never goes, and you've bailed the past few weeks because of him. There's no need to ditch your friends and rush into whatever this is with Kieran.
"We go for drinks after the game as a team. Raincheck? Maybe... after Rusty's training next week?" When the line was silent, her hands fidgeted at her sides.
It's too soon to ask him to hang out, especially when he could be spending time with Brinny. You've overstepped. Control the damage.
"Sorry, you and Brinny probably have something going on. Forget I asked."
"I'm free, and I'd love to. You just caught me by surprise. I'm used to asking and rejections, but not being asked by someone like you."
Whatever he meant by 'like you' was unclear, but his tone was so flattering, and she drank in his words like lemonade. "You might have to get used to it because I enjoy your company."
"In case it's not obvious through the phone, I'm grinning like a fool right now."
She mirrored his statement as giddiness filled her chest. "Me too."
***
Naomi arrived as early as she could to the game, beating all of her friends. She ran laps along the exterior fence until Ian showed up then slowed to meet him at the benches.
"Hey, Ian," she called out.
"Hey, what's the occasion? You rarely end a run to greet me."
"I've been at it for twenty minutes and figured I should give it a rest to leave some energy in the tank for the game."
He did a toe lift as he looked her over. "Is something stressing you out?"
Naomi bit her lip as she'd have to share it eventually. Greg had skipped last week's game, so their break-up hadn't been noticeable, but if he came today, their relationship's fate would be obvious.
"Greg and I..." The statement refused to leave her mouth like a stubborn cold.
"Are you fighting? He'll come around, he always did with my sister."
Naomi winced at his words as a sudden shock travelled up her sinuses. Greg and Tara had lasted two years, while he didn't even want Naomi romantically for a month.
Don't cry.
Ian's face fell. "Oh shit, it's more than a fight."
She nodded slightly, and Ian wrapped an arm around her shoulder.
"You're better off. I never liked or trusted that guy." Ian grabbed his glove. "Want to help me warm up the cannon? We'll make this an unforgettable game to show Greg his shitty actions won't bring you down."
"The break-up was sort of mutual." If you considered the fact that Naomi had called it off because Greg couldn't imagine their life together including a sex-reduced relationship, by his expectations.
"Good for you. You deserve someone better than him." Ian patted his glove, reminding her he was still waiting for her answer.
It wasn't good for Naomi, but she grabbed her glove, welcoming the distraction. Ian sent her terrible throws to force her to leap, stretch, and chase the ball all over the outfield. She raised eyebrows with each dreadful pitch.
"Ian, what happened to your arm?" Their teammate, Wael, asked, pulling a cap over his dark curls.
Ian fired a perfect pitch into Naomi's waiting glove, landing with a satisfying yet stinging smack. "I'm keeping our girl on her toes."
"Be careful you don't replicate those earlier ones in the game." Wael turned to Naomi. "Is Greg coming today?"
She shrugged. "Couldn't tell you."
Even though Wael walked away, his words undid the ten minutes of athletic distraction Ian had attempted. They were playing on the same field where she and Greg had shared their first field kiss and another on the bench. Fate had a twisted sense of humour.
Ian patted her on the back, letting his hand drop away. "We'll get drinks after the game, yeah?"
She nodded.
"Until then, I'll grab your lucky bat?"
With a grin, she sighed. "That'll do."
When he returned with her bat and a few balls, they ran as far as they could from the bench. He sent her tricky pitches with an odd backspin that made her grateful to have him pitching for instead of against them. The first hit didn't connect quite right, and the reverberations stung her hand.
After Ian chased the ball, he said, "Swing a little quicker and straighter."
Naomi took a deep breath and locked eyes with him. He nodded and brought the glove up to his face. As he stepped through the pitch and the ball soared toward her, she choked up on the bat and swung around with more juice. The ball connected with the metal with a wholesome twang and her body sent it into motion far into the distance.
Ian grinned at her. He didn't even try to go after it.
"It's going to be a good game," he said.
As Naomi lost herself in the addicting sensation of powering each pitch across the field, she agreed. Her time spent chasing the batter's high kept her from noticing that Greg had arrived until they returned to the dugout to learn the batting order.
By then, she'd poured so much energy into warm-up that she gave him and Marc a light wave before digging through her bag for a water bottle. She sneaked a glance at him mid-sip and nearly choked as Greg stared back at her, but he looked away the moment their eyes connected.
Her heart raced for a second. Had he reconsidered?
There is nothing to reconsider. He offered, and you turned it down because deep down you know as much as you both want this, it won't work.
She screwed on the cap of her water bottle with shaking hands.
Steady, you've got this. You are worth more than this, and you deserve to be uplifted.
It didn't have to be from romance. It could be from friends, sports, or even her little pep talks. She would survive today and every other day. Sure, the absence of her and Greg's teasing and compliments left an ache in her heart but not as severe as the one he'd put there when he'd implied their relationship wasn't enough for him.
***