I was plopped on the couch, searching through Netflix to find something light hearted when I heard a low-pitched scream coming from the bathroom. I hopped off the couch and rushed into my bedroom. “Sean? Are you in there?” I asked, knocking on the bathroom door.
“Yes.” He said calmly but it felt like he was trying to hide his pain.
“Are you hurt?” I asked.
“No. Now let me change.” He said. He was shot in the legs so there was no way he could move like that and not feel pain. But I also knew he was too proud to admit that.
I was standing outside the door, thinking what to do when I heard a thud, followed by a moan.
“Sean! Let me help you for God’s sake. You are hurt.” I exclaimed in a frustrated voice.
“I’ll manage.” He said.
“You can’t.” I replied.
“Then send in Thomas.” He said.
“Thomas isn’t here. I am your only option.” I said, crossing my arms although he couldn’t see me. For a brief moment, I could hear nothing but silence from inside.
“Fine. Give me a second.” He said. Almost a minute later, he opened the door, revealing his very naked body clad in just underwear. My mouth went dry as my eyes raked at him from head to toe, warmth seeping into the skin of my cheeks.
Abort mission.
“Are you coming or not?” He asked
“Y… Yeah.” I shook my head to get rid of my sinful thoughts.
He limped past me and sat down on a chair to avoid wetting the bed. As he was walking, every muscle in his back clenched. I have a thing for muscular backs and arms and luckily, he had both.
I went to the bathroom to get his clothes and then walked over to him. “Aren’t you going to dry me up first?” He raised his eyebrows.
“Yes.” I walked back again to get the towel and while I was in the bathroom, I took a deep breath to calm my racing heart.
I then went back to him and began drying his chest. My hands were trembling because every inch of him was perfection. The taut muscles of his chest were leading to abs that looked like they were carved from granite. I didn’t dare to look anywhere below the abs because it would not be good for my sanity.
Putting the towel away, I took his trouser and crouched in front of him. As the trousers grazed the wound on his leg, he winced.
“Does it hurt?” I asked.
“No.” He said, obviously lying. That’s what I hated about toxic masculinity. It makes men feel like feeling pain would make them inferior and being hurt is something to be ashamed of.
He stood up with difficulty and knotted his trousers. He then sat down and raised his arms as I helped him wear the shirt. Midway through this, I realized his arms were completely fine and he didn’t need my help in wearing a shirt. Sean didn’t bother to tell me that.
“Done.” I said. “Do you need my help lying down?”
“No thanks. I am not a cripple.” He said in irritation and began to walk towards the bed when his foot slipped and he fell on me. Not able to bear his weight, I collapsed backwards and like a shitty ass RomCom, I ended up falling on the bed with him on top of me.
“Ugh…” He groaned in pain.
“See. That’s what happens when you don’t listen to others.” I said, breathing heavily due to the massive weight on me.
“Like you are the one to complain. I saw how you looked at me.” He said, staring down at me..
“Wh.. Wh.. What are you talking about? I was not…”
“Yes you were. You still have drool on your mouth.” He said and my eyes bulged out in embarassment.
“I do not.” I said, pushing his arm in anger. “Maybe it’s the other way around. Maybe you faked getting hurt so you could get me to dress you up.”
“Yeah right. You are just so irresistible.” He said, staring into my eyes.
I was so busy arguing that I momentarily forgot how close we really were. His body was digging into me and I could feel every bit of hard contours of his body against my soft ones..
“Will you move now?” I said breathlessly.
“Why? Isn’t that what you wanted?” He teased and blush crept up my cheeks. His pelvis was grinding into mine and I could feel a hard bulge digging into my legs.
“No.” I said bluntly.
“Then why are you breathing so hard?” He asked, getting serious all of sudden. I lowered my eyes to his lips and they were the perfect shade of red. I felt a deep knot in my belly, making me feel weak in my knees.
“Because you are heavy.” I said rudely clenching my teeth. No way I was going to admit to him that I was getting turned on.
“Your body is betraying you.” He smirked.
“You don’t get to say anything when you can’’t control your own body.” I said.
As soon as he realized what I meant, his jaw clenched and he immediately moved away from atop of me.
“Just for the record, it's a normal reaction of the body. You are not special.” He said to humiliate me and it struck the right chord.
“Get out.” I said angrily as I sat up straight.
“Sure.” He chewed his words and stood up to leave. I could see him struggle but I didn’t offer help this time. If he wants to be a dick, I could be one too.
*****
I stayed awake watching a movie on my laptop till 12 am. I was hungry and wanted to go to the kitchen to get something but my ego didn’t let me. If I were to face Sean again, I’d probably throw something at him. He had no idea how to treat a girl and I felt sorry for his girlfriend. Who wants to spend their life with a sour piece of rock anyway?
At midnight, I turned off the lights, leaving a faint lamp on in case Mr. Dick comes inside to sleep. The last thing a limping man needs is a dark room.
I kept scrolling my phone, hoping for sleep to overcome me but all in vain. A part of me wanted to go to Sean and shake his head until all his senses returned. The other shameless part of me wanted to do something else, something sinful and morally wrong.
I was lost in these thoughts when the door opened. I immediately put the phone away and pretended to be asleep. He had some nerve coming into my room to sleep after his shitty behaviour earlier. The lamp was turned off and then the bed dipped behind me as he lay down. I clenched my eyes tightly to ignore him, or at least pretended to ignore him.
When I finally thought I was getting successful at ignoring his presence, he scooted closer to me. His arm snaked around me and he pulled me closer so my back was against him. I could hear his harsh breathing and despite my best attempts at doing so, I failed to control my own erratic breathing.
“I hate you.” I said. There was no point in continuing the charade of being asleep anymore.
“I hate myself too.” He whispered in my ears and his voice sent a shiver down my spine.
I wanted to hurl some more insults at him but what he did next sent all my senses flying out of the room. He brought his lips to my neck and began peppering small kisses. All my anger converted into something more sensual and I threw my head back, giving him more space. I hated myself for giving in so easily but my body was not in my control.
His nose replaced his mouth and he nuzzled my sensitive skin. I twisted my arm in an uncomfortable angle and laced my fingers into his hair, urging him to use his mouth again. His mouth was doing wonders on my skin, making the knot in my belly tighten with every lick.
When I got frustrated with the slow, torturing neck kisses, I rolled over to face him. I couldn’t see much in the dark but I could feel the desire radiating off him. My lips met his in a hot, passionate kiss and my whole body started to melt. Not giving me time to acclimitize, he forced his tongue into my mouth and began to explore.
Oh God!
Just when it started to get uncontrollably hot, I parted my face from him and he let out a frustrated roar.
“What were you saying before? I am not special?” I said, breathing hard due to the after effects of the kiss.
“We can discuss that later.” He said and tried to kiss me but I didn’t respond, even though every part of my body was begging me to. “Damn it. Kiss me.” Sean groaned.
“No.” I said.
“Fine. What do you want to hear?” He asked.
“Just the truth. What do you feel for me?” I asked.
“I… I… Fuck.” He cursed and rolled over to lie straight. I shivered at the loss of warmth and my heart dipped into my chest.
“Is it that hard to admit that you might feel something for me?” I asked, fighting the tears that were accumulating in my eyes.
“Yes.” He said sharply and stood up. “Because I can’t admit something that’s not there.”
“You are a jerk Sean. I hate you.” I said. By now, tears had started to stream down my cheeks. These were tears of frustration of not being able to control my body. It still wanted him, even though all he had done today was humiliate me.
“I’ll sleep outside.” He said and walked out of the room as fast as his leg allowed.