Known to her crew as the I.S.F.O.T.A.C.W.E.F.A.P. Lobster, the ship took its designation from a nebula officially dubbed NGC-6357. When looked at from the right angle, you had to admit that the nebula looked a bit like the crustacean. Of course, there were no such things as Lobsters anymore. Not since all the planets of Sol were burned out by a Gamma burst from Wolf-Rayet 104. Still, though, if you looked carefully at the constellation and then compared it to the images in Encyclopaedia Galactica, Ed. XLIII, you could see the similarities. Lobsters, like Earth, were now part of humanities ancient history. Both the crustacean and the planet were so far in the past, they were barely a footnote in humanities expansion across the void. Most of the historical texts focussed on the pioneers who settled in Barnard's Galaxy (1.16 MLY away), not to be confused with Barnard's Star (6.8 LY away), something completely different.
Yes, there was still a small human presence in the Milky Way, though the human locations were few and far between. The humans of the Milky Way would be found at either political missions or research outposts, sanctioned and permitted by the Eridani Dominion. No human was permitted interstellar travel in the Milky Way unless they were a.) leaving to go to another Galaxy, or b.) arriving from another galaxy. Humans weren't even allowed to go from outpost to outpost. If they wanted to do that, they first had to travel outside the Milky Way galaxy, apply for a new visa, wait for the visa to be approved, and then return to the Milky Way galaxy. It was stupid Customs legalese imposed by the Eridani but imposed it was, so the humans needed to play along. It seemed ridiculous, but it was their way. Who were the humans to argue?
The Eridani, yeah, they were a nice lot. They arrived on Earth not long after the Proto-Gen war. They swooped in and started taking humans for medical experiments and if you believe the old stories, lunch ... and I don't mean as guests, capisce? Those Eridani pecker-heads had exploded across the Milky Way, inhabiting every celestial nook and cranny they could find. Because they had spread through the Milky Way like bed bugs in a hostel, when it came time to find a new home humanity looked towards a new galaxy. The generational ships that took the original four billion migrants travelled for close to 10,000 years to reach Barnard's Galaxy. By the time those ships arrived, humanity was already thriving there. Four hundred years after the last generational ship had departed, human researchers discovered how to fold space. They reduced the transit time to Barnard's Galaxy to a mere fourteen months. This allowed the remaining bulk of the human presence in the Milky Way to pack up and move, arriving almost 9,000 years ahead of the generational ships.
Fast forward another 5,000 years after the arrival of the generational ships, humanity is exceeding the capacity of Barnard's Galaxy. Well, not really. I mean, a galaxy is realy, real, big. Many people would line up in the evenings, on all of the planets, to look through the powerful telescopes; to dream of the Milky Way galaxy they had come from. At some point, humanity decided that it had "had enough" of the Eridani. Many of the politico's and pundits of the inhabited worlds thought that it was time to return to the Milky Way. Not as guests, not as visitors, not as controlled observers. They thought it was time for humanity to return and reclaim what was rightly ours. It was an idea with legs; long, slender, sexy legs. The idea grew like wildfire and soon turned from concept to imperative. Humans wanted to take the Milky Way back. The Eridani ... disagreed. They offered to, metaphorically, meet us out behind the gymnasium after the metaphorical school dance.
So in the best tradition of our redneck heritage (remember, the generational ships took the best and the brightest, it was those that were left behind that actually populated the new galaxy homeworlds ... do the math), so in that tradition, we brung it. The Imperial Space Force Of The Aligned Coalition Worlds Except For Aberghast Planet was formed, the I.S.F.O.T.A.C.W.E.F.A.P. for short.
Now, back to the I.S.F.O.T.A.C.W.E.F.A.P. Lobster. The warship is on a rescue mission to the star known as 10-Cephi Beta. The observatory outpost had been on the rescue list since the start of the 'Kickin' Arse War' as it was officially known. However, it had been forgotten. Now, many years and two generations later, the planet was back on the scope. The Eridani had wiped out many outposts, offering wholesale slaughter to any human they encountered, then stopped to enjoy canapés and foie gras afterwards. However, 10-Cephi Beta was so insignificant, they had forgotten about it as well. Until, that is, they saw the I.S.F.O.T.A.C.W.E.F.A.P. Lobster headed in that direction. The Eridani had a vast and powerful fleet waiting to challenge the I.S.F.O.T.A.C.W.E.F.A.P. Lobster and its escort group. The Eridani fleet was formidable, and everyone knew they would probably overpower the human warriors, had they stayed too long. Therefore, it was going to be a quick snatch-and-grab mission: fly in, land troops, evacuate the humans, kill anything with a really big head that was wearing colourful robes, leave. For the resident's of Jamestown Colony, it was a nail biter. They watched the two forces approaching the planet and sending down Landers; they then watched ground troops fight their way towards the colony walls.
The Eridani broke through first. In a thunderstorm of pounding boots, guttural yells, weapons fire, and bad fashion choices: the Eridani arrived inside the colony walls with the I.S.F.O.T.A.C.W.E.F.A.P. forces hot on their heels. The battle raged long and hard, first one side getting the upper hand, then the other side getting the upper hand, and back and forth like this through the night. Finally, the I.S.F.O.T.A.C.W.E.F.A.P. Commander ordered his troops to grab as many colonists as they could, then retreat.
Gray Sievert was a young man, only thirteen years old. He had been born at Jamestown Colony. He had never been to any of the human worlds, spending his whole life in the Milky Way on 10-Cephi Beta. As the battle for the colony raged, he got separated from his family. He wanted to pick up arms and fight, but as soon as he heard the first weapon fire, he wet himself. Then he ran to hide from the shame, regardless of the fighting. Had anyone asked, he would have gladly committed perjury and attested the wet spot on his pants was a spilled drink. However, he was too ashamed to even stand being asked about it. Gray huddled in one of the larger equipment lockers near the armoury.
In a very short amount of time, he heard the battle raging outside the locker door, in the hallway between the armoury and the cafeteria. He heard the horrid screeching voices of the Eridani; he heard the heavy weapons fire that could only be the BLAT-10, the weapon of choice of the I.S.F.O.T.A.C.W.E.F.A.P. Commandos. The sound of the fighting got closer, and closer ... and closer. Gray could hear bodies falling. He heard the piercing screams of both humans and Eridani dying. He heard a BLAT-10 open up very close to his hiding place, then it stopped. There was a moment of silence, then two voices were locked in a cacophonous assault of death and triumph. A heavy body fell against the door of the equipment locker. Poor Gray couldn't even breathe. He was holding his breath, hands clutched in fists against his mouth, eyes so wide his eyeballs were in danger of falling out. Then the handle on the equipment locker door jiggled. Gray looked down, braving a brief gasp of air to prevent fainting. He watched the handle. It jiggled again.
Gray slowly extended one hand forward, to hold the handle from turning.
Gray screamed as the door flew open and the small space was flooded with bright white light. He couldn't stop screaming, he squatted down on his haunches, hands held up in front of him, yelling, his face awash with little-man tears, "Please don't kill me! Please don't kill me! Please don't kill me!"
The bright white light turned off. Gray looked through his tears and saw something that was not adorned with garish colour patterns. It was a human. It was dressed in full combat armour. Gray looked up as the human smiled and looked down at the boy. Gray saw the soot-smudged face, gleaming with oil from weapons fire. Gray saw the vicious scar on the man's cheek, crusted with bloody scabs over combat suture scars. He looked into the dark, piercing eyes. Then he saw the man's name tag. His breath caught.
Could it be? Really? Could it be him? The Hero of the two galaxies? The man who had singlehandedly defeated the Eridani at Omicron-2? The man who had singlehandedly wiped out the Eridani fleet at Hubble's Double Bubble Nebula? The man who had killed 2,000 Eridani in hand to hand combat while saving his whole platoon? Could it be? This man was a hero! He was on all the news vids! Everyone wanted to be him when his friends played Cops 'n Aliens. Could it be that he was here to save everyone at Jamestown Colony? Gray thought maybe he was imagining this; maybe it was a hallucination; maybe the Eridani had done something to hypnotize him, to trick him.
Then the Not-A-Hallucination extended his hand. Gray reached out and tentatively took hold of it. It was firm, it was real. Gray looked up to the rugged, chiseled features of the face of his hero. He smiled back into the eyes of Major Andrew Sanojca.
"Hey, kid. Wanna go kick some 'arse?"