vernon sounded really serious on the phone. i mean, his voice was sharp as he was begging for help.
i didnt want to leave seungkwan, yet i really didn't have any other choice.
i even took a cab home. waiting for the bus would only make me go there late, and vernon would be mad at me!
as soon as i reach home, i run inside only to see some fogs coming from kitchen. that was so scary i didnt even close the door. i just rushed in the foggy room only to stare at vernon who just happened to get rid of the fire, coming from the over
"what the hell happened?" i started coughing while opening the windows of the kitchen.
"i... i wanted to cook..."
"yourself?!" i pay attention to his clothes, black from the ashes, and messy hair. that boy is a disaster.
"i wasnt planning to burn the house down, okay? it was an accident!" he frowns, sitting on a stool.
"an accident?! will you at least tell me how did this 'accident' occurred?" i ask while crossing my arms.
"i- i put some food in the over, and... and then..."
"Yes?!"
"i thought it was a good idea to play some Fifa until its cooked! and... i... totally forgot about it!" he said. i was stabding there frozen, thinking he is joking.
right?! he cant be thag stupid to burn down the over just for a match of Fifa, right?
why is he silent?!
"thats it!" i run towards the living room and the pouty boy is following me like a lost dog.
"what are you doing?!" i grab his four controllers. "you are getting them when you know your responsibilities!"
"hey, you cant be doing this to me!" he tried to grab a controller but i already hid them inside my bag.
"i cant?! oh watch me!" then i get up with his controllers i hear my phone buzzing. i am unable to pick it up cause i have Vernon, sneakily trying to get his controllers back.
i get inside my room and slam the door at his face.
"thats so unfair!"
"that was our oven's last words before you burn it down! now suffer, to see how it is!" i even lock the door to hide them.
totally forgetting my phone already rung once, i place it on the desk and start hiding the controllers in a secret hiding spot in my closet.
i have a lot of secret things in there no one has to now about.
most of them are pictures from the past, now also Vernon's controllers. thats when i noticed a specific picture.
it was me and seungkwan when we were little. i stare at it for a while until i hear my phone buzzing again.
hiding them all again, and covering the spot with some shoes i rush over the desk and pick up.
"hello?!"
"its wonwoo!" the boy started coughing through the other line. "hey, what happened? you sound terrible..." i announnce.
"i am... thats why i called, i cant be at the practice tomorrow!" he pouted, even though it was hard for him to even breathe properly at this moment.
"its okay, we'll just cancel it then!" i am so open minded today, its surprising to me as well!
"no you dont have to do that!"
"we will be talking about the new play, it wouldnt be the same without you! you have to be there, so get a good rest and dont think about the practice. just send an email to the kids right now saying its gonna get canceled, okay?!" i try to reassure him.
"you know... lately you are nice..." he giggles. "its not gonna last though, so take advantage of it while you can!" i whisper the last sentence and wonwoo chuckled through the pain.
"thank you sarang..." he coughs.
"you're welcome... now, send the email and rush back to sleep, okay?!" i hear mumbling a yes.
we shared a last goodbye and i hung up, leaving my phone on the desk again i start taking my things off my back.
i actually had so much work to do.
as a starter, i need to watch the all these movies and plays, as a way to take inspiration and get reminded about details, so i can see which movie was suitable for us.
i wont lie, staring at the list the first thing i noticed was fandom of the opera. then, i remembered seungkwan's passion when he explained the possibility of making that movie happen.
i couldng help it, i put that movie to play first.
after a while, i hear my phone buzzing for a text. i seriously didnt want to answer as i was paying close attention to the movie but curiosity was eqting me up.
Who's texting me?
i seriously have zero friends!
pausing the movie so i wont lose another second of it i grab the phone and place it in my hands.
i gasp as soon as i see chan's name on my recent text list. it seriously was the last person i would ever expect to see there.
whay is he doing there?!
i tap pn the message.
chan:
cancel of practice?! we never do that :')
sarang:
wonwoo is really sick, we cant work without him!
chan:
that means i am left alone with so many free time tomorrow :(
sarang:
thats sad, i am sorry to hear that!
chan:
if you are sorry why dont you help me fill up this time!
sarang:
what?
chan:
wanna go out?! maybe, eat something, have some fun... idk?!
i was staring at my phone like an idiot. is chan asking me out? this invitation is so discreet i cant even tell his motives.
yeah, he is probably asking me out? but what i am feeling couldn't be described as happiness. well, it couldnt be described as sadness too, so what is it?!
oh no i am overreacting over things that never exitsted.
why am i even thinking about kwan!
sarang concentrate!
Sarang:
yeah, lets do that!
i dare to text back. maybe thats the key to get rid of all these stupid thoughts - going out with chan might remind me what i actually want, huh?
anyway, i place my phone right next to the laptop and press play to the rest of the movie.
i didnt answer to any more of chan's text for a while just because i was way too focused.
thats when i hear someone knocking on the door.
"what do you want now?! i am not giving you the controllers back!" i announce, too focused on what i am actually watching.
"me and seungkwan are going out!" he announces and now my attention is all captured by my stupid brother.
"again?!" i yell.
"yeah, wanna come?!" do i wanna come. why do i feel like going? then i reminded myself of the goal! the goal is chan. kwan is my way to get the goal - not my friend, or anything else.
"why would i wanna go?!" i cross my arms, lay back amd try to pay attention to the music again.
"okay, i will be leaving in an hour so if you need anything call me!" he announces. "why would i be needing anything from someone that causes so much chaos lately?!" i hiss.
"fine!" he pouts getting away from ny room.
please sarang focus back on the film, and stop your mind or heart from racing. after literally forcing myself to get back on the film, i have to say, i actieved that for.... like... 10 minutes?!
Ten minutes is actually a good amount of time.
and its not even me who got lost in my thoughts again but my phone buzzing for a call. "who is it again? can i watch a movie in peac-" i was complaining but every word decieved my body as soon as i saw seungkwan's name on my lockscreen.
why is he calling out of the blue? its the first time he is actually calling me? what should i do?
with hectic moves i decided to pick up and place the decice on my ear.
"hey..." he is the first one to speak cause i was too busy trying not to panic. "h-hi..." i look down.
"are you home?!" he asks.
"mmhm..." i keep on looking down. "well, i... i... thought..." he was struggling to explain.
"yes?!" i rush my head up ready to hear what he was about to say. "me... and vernon are going out, do you wanna come with... us?!" he spoke.
his voice makes my heart racing.
"i... i cant... i have work to do!" i now look back again. i try to remember the goal but why do i feel bad the goal is chan.
"oh, are you busy with the drama club?!" he figures out and i mumble a yes. "okay then, well..."
"what?!"
"if you change your mind... leave me a text and i'll... come get you, okay?!" he really seemed to want me to go.
by his soft voice i could tell how much he was hoping for a yes. the question is why did i want to go that bad too?!
i was i feeling blue to turn down this offer.
where are they going?!
will the have fun?!
"i..." i slur out.
"yes?!" he is still hoping for a yes, i know it. "okay, seungkwan, i'll let you know!"
remember the goal Sarang. the goal is chan! i kept on repeatinf that inside of my head so it would be easier for me to decline.
i need to stop myself from getting closer to him cause it will not end up this well.
"see you then?!" kwan forces a smile.
"see you..." i hung up. i now stare at the paused screen like a complete fool. chan asked me out and i am sad i have to go! kwan also told me to go out with them and i am sad i couldnt go.
whats wrong with me? what are all these feelings!?
i was on the edge, until the film got to an end. i barely paid any attention to the rest of it.
i had a phone inside my hands, ready to call kwan and then regretting it the very first minute.
goal... goal sarang.
chan is the goal, chan is the goal!
i hid my phone inside a drawer and dived bcak on my bed. i need not to get confused by kwan's unlimited kindness.
its like that to everyone. i am not different so i shoudlnt be feeling any different at all!