after such a tiring day i finally walk in, only to find vernon being the coach potato he is.
not just that, but he also was destroying himself right in front of the ps5.
"hi!"
"where were you for so long?! dont tell me you had to spend extra hours at the drama club?!" he said with his eyes captered by the blue light of the screen.
that idiot, didnt even turn the lights on while playing. his eyes are gonna get destroyed or something.
"well, no..." i say while turning the lights on.
"then? you spent time in the library?!" he mumbled, too focused on that stupid football match.
"i... was out... with a friend..."
"hey, if you dont wanna tell me dont. you dont have to lie about it!" he blurred out, after scoring a goal.
"i am not lying..." i announce. the contoller falls from his hands as he turns arouns to stare at me.
"wait, really?! you found a friend?!"
"just stop... you are making me sound pathetic!" i frown occupying an empty spot right next to him on the couch.
"who said you werent pathetic?!" he smiles. "vern!" i scold him. can he be more supportive?
"i am joking... so how is that friend? is she lovely? is she good?!" he disconnected from his online match so he can help me out.
that was actually pretty touching.
only gamers now how sagnificant that moment was!
"its... a he!"
"no fucking way, you found a guy to actually put up with all your shit?!" he gasped. "hey, arent you a guy?!" i pointed at him.
"i am your brother... i cant do otherwise... its in the siblings rule!" he comlains. "you are not funny, you are just annoying!"
"so how is that guy?! is he handsome?!" he asks with a smirk.
"no..."
"is he funny?!"
"no..."
"is he an intresting person?!" again he tries to find something good. "no!" i keep on answering.
"then why are you going out with him?!" he asks all surprised. "cause i like his friend..." i announce.
"wow, are you always that honest?!"
"yes, thats why the only person to go out with me is boo seungkwan!" as soon as i said that he laid back.
"you were talking about boo seungkwan all this time?! i disconnected from my game for nothing?!" he crossed his arms.
"i never asked you to do that!"
"where did you go?! what are all these bags?!" he pointed at the things i bought. "i decided to start dressing nicely..."
"whats wrong with my sister today?!" he titls his head.
"i just... dont know what i want anymore..." i whisper laying back. "you want and need... therapy! do something about that. dont just buy new clothes." he turns back to his game.
thats when my phone buzzes for a text.
"someone is texting you?! that hasnt happened in a while? who are you paying?" vern said while focusing on a new game.
"kwan..." i read his name on my contacts list. he texted me even though we were together half an hour ago?!
"you are paying him to hung out with you?!" he narrows his eyebrows.
"what? no!"
he comes closer to peek but i get up. "goodnight, annoying brother!" i say running up the stairway.
"you are telling me everything tomorrow, arent you?!" he asked but i already slammed the door, meaning not in a thousand years.
thats when i finally dive back on my bed and open the new texts.
kwan:
hey :)
sarang:
what do you want?
kwan:
thats not a way to start a conversation!
sarang:
what do you want me to do? wag my tail and ask for more treat?!
kwan:
mean, even through texts?!
sarang:
a text wont change who i am.
kwan:
why do i believe you are not mean though?!
sarang:
because you are delusional...
kwan:
wear those earrings we found, tomorrow!
sarang:
what?
kwan:
just wear em...
sarang:
no...
kwan:
dont you trust me?!
sarang:
will you be hurt if i speak my mind!
kwan:
do you want me to help you with chan or no?!
sarang:
agh fine!
After this texts i found myself staring at the mirror, having those earrings close to my ears. they seem lovely. For a weird reason a cold part in me softened at this point.
i really wanted to thank kwan, but not now. maybe tomorrow!
not through a text!
---
i would normally say, new day same shit. but i really did my best for today to be differnt.
i woke up early, took a morning shower, brushed my teeth and then fixing my hair in a cute way.
half up hald down.
i really like this easy way to style it. its even practical so my new earrings will be easily visible.
i even put on some lipgloss and a thin laying of mascara. i bet now one can tell cause its barely enough.
oh, i feel so weird staring at the mirror.
who is that girl?!
i kinda feel like mulan honestly and all i did was wake up early for a change. as soon as i get out of my room with the bag on my shoulders, vernon passes me by like i qm a ghost.
when he realized i am not a oart of his early mornibg dream he runs back and points at my face.
"what is this? what are those? what are you doing? who are you?!" he started pointing at random things on me.
"its too early for your shit!" i pass him by and invade the kitchen to eat an apple. he rushes in too staring at me while i peacefully eat a fruit.
"what are you doing?!" he freaks out again.
"i am eating?!"
"okay, we seriously need to talk! sit down!" he pulls a stool for me.
"talk about what? about me deciding to eat a fruit? are you serious?!"
"its not just the fruit! you have mascara on... and these earings... you woke up early... and... did you take a shower?!" he continued freaking out.
"so, just to see if we are on the same page... you are scolding me because... i decided to act like a normal person?!" okay indeed i am really surprised.
he never fails to surprise me.
"i guess, yeah, thats what i am doing!" he crosses his arms and i roll my eyes. "goodbye vern!"
i walk past him and get out of the house. "this conversation isnt ove-" i slam the door.
what a fool!
In the bus, on my way to school i realized i had so many time to actually see kwan taking a bus.
weird, huh? how is he coming to school?! i always, somehow see him being already there.
is he taking a previous bus from mine?!
anyways, finally i step onto some school ground. i am here! and the worst of them all is that i trusted kwan to wear those earrings.
all i need to do now is walk in with confidence. yep, that barely lasted cause i gave up as soon as i walked in. .
i actually felt some eyes on me but who cares - its probably because i am too scary half of the time.
as soon as i walk in the classroom, i see nayeon and mina talking in the back. they stayed frozen when their eyes landed on me.
the next person i saw was wonwoo, who stopped himself from waving after taking a clearer look.
then my eyes locked with kwan's.
why is everybody looking at me like that? i was too busy staring into seungkwan's eyes until someone took my attention.
"hey, sarang?!" he firstly said but i was too focused staring at seungkwan. the same boy made me a sign i should pay attention to the person who's talking to me.
i slowly turn my face and my eyes lock with chan's.
chan was trying to talk to me?!
thats intresting, actually!
"oh hi!" i fake a smile. why am i faking a smile? shouldnt it be natural for me to smile at him?! why am i forcing myself.
"your earrings are cool!" the boy says with a smirk. "thanks..." i whisper. that was the last thing he said while walking out of the class with a wave of a hand.
wow, did that just happened?!
i slowly go to my seat, avoiding any eye contact. right now i was trying to convince myself this encounter with chan actually meant something important to me.
yeah, the guy i like comlimented me and i am happy about it! of course i am! i wanted it for so long.
kwan turns around from the front seat.
"see... i told you he would like the earrings!" he whispered with a smile of victory but i couldnt find mine for a while.
"what is it? arent you happy?" he scanned my face. "i... i am..." i look up at him. "you are not smiling!" he noticed.
"i dont smile... thats how i express my happiness!" i nonchalantly answer. "i... i saw you smiling yesterday though..." he scratched his head.
"well, i am smiling in my head!"
"are you sure you are okay?!" he scans my face again in his attempt to realize whats wrong.
"i am perfectly fine... the boy i liked for so long said something nice about me... i... i should thank you seungkwan! i am grateful!" here i express gratitude but why aint i feeling grateful.
even kwan was confused.
"dont... mention it!" he isnt smiling too now? perfect!
"so how are things going with you and mina?!" i ask him and he bites his lips. "nothing new!"
"did you ask her out yet?!"
"nah, not yet!"
i discreetly turn around to see her all alone now. "go talk to her! nayeon left!" i order him but his eyes are still all over me.
"are you sure you want me to leave? i can stay..." he then finds the smile i thought he lost.
"no kwan its okay... go!"
again i call him kwan. i know he notices and i know he thought about it before getting up.
"if you need something, i'll be over there!" he announces and i nod with a fake smile.
kwan lets me alone.
honestly thats why i sent him away. i wanted to be alone for a while. i sriously wantsd to think without being confused over small gestures.