My hands trembled as I reread the letter I'd received this morning another time. Still, even after reading it for what felt like the twentieth time, I struggled to understand it.
In neat, loopy handwriting, perfectly spaced and lined, was Ezalie Corzavan's acceptance to my invitation for tea.
For some odd reason, I'd had a small feeling that she was going to refuse. I'd never hosted something like this, especially all on my own, so I hadn't been sure what to expect. I knew Ezalie was very cordial, and even if she hadn't shown indications of liking me, she would have chosen to come because that was just who she was. But she'd asked to be my friend which gave all the more reason for her to say yes. So why was I so surprised? Why was I so nervous?
That last question was easy to answer. I was generally always nervous when it came to social settings.
Why had I done this again?
Oh, yeah. Because I was trying to be better. I was trying to be better for Braz and for Asria and, ultimately, for myself. I could do this. I could do this.
A knock sounded on the door of the parlor and I trembled harder as two servants brought in tea and trays of cookies and sandwiches. I at least hoped I could do this...
"Your Highness," another servant said, popping up in the doorway out of nowhere.
I jumped and tried to hide it by tucking my hands behind my back and straightening my posture into the most composed-appearing position I could muster. "Yes?"
"Ezalie Corzavan awaits at the front of the castle. Would you like me to escort her in?"
I swallowed. I hadn't thought of that part. Was I supposed to meet her down there? Was that the polite thing to do? Or for smaller events like this, did the servant generally escort guests? I wasn't sure. So I quickly made the decision before I could overthink it, nodding to the servant. That would work, right? She wouldn't be offended. Hopefully...
I was starting to become exponentially grateful that I wasn't heir and didn't have to do this type of planning on a normal basis.
When all three of the servants exited, a moment of calm passed where I could take a quick breath and compose my thoughts before the tea began. Swallowing, I told myself a couple more times that I could do this. Not ten seconds later, another knock sounded against the door.
Slowly, I walked over and pulled it open, peeking around to see Gentry standing in the hall. I blinked a couple times, for she wasn't dressed in her usual maid uniform but in a simple, lavender day dress with lace sleeves.
She shifted from one foot to the other, obviously uncomfortable at my silence. "I hope this is appropriate. It was the nicest dress I owned."
I quickly snapped myself into it. "Oh, yes, you look lovely... I'm sorry, c-come in." I pulled the door open wider and partially hid behind it to obscure my shaky grip on the handle. She stepped inside the parlor, giving me a generously low curtsy and heading toward the table.
A moment of silence passed before she said, "I want to thank you again for inviting me to your tea. I've never been to one before and I've never heard of any maid or servant being a guest at one."
"Never?" I asked, slightly surprised by this. I thought Mother had had tea with her personal Lady in Waiting a few times, but perhaps I was wrong.
She shook her head, though a smile threatened her lips. "But I find it a refreshing change."
I smiled back slightly, glad she wanted to be here.
Not moments later, a servant knocked on the door and let himself in, standing aside and announcing, "Presenting Lady Ezalie Corzavan of the Corzavan Estate."
The three of us exchanged curtsies and I timidly introduced Gentry to Ezalie. Then the servant exited, leaving the three of us alone until we beckoned his assistance again.
For a moment, we all stood before I realized perhaps they were waiting on me to start the event. "Um, please... do sit."
We gathered around the table and once we were all positioned, it seemed to help them relax and feel more comfortable with talking, even though I still felt like a shaking, anxious mess.
Ezalie gladly greeted me as I began to pour the tea. "I feel like it's been a very long time since I've seen you, Princess. Though I suppose it hasn't been that long truly."
"Indeed," I agreed.
"It must just seem like a while because of how much has happened recently."
The tea pot nearly slipped from my fingers and I had to catch it before its porcelain tip crashed into my cup. I snapped my gaze up and gave her a cautiously curious look. "Oh? What has happened?"
Her expression was apologetic when she said, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have brought it up. I just wanted to offer my condolences."
Passing the shaking tea pot to Gentry, I swallowed. "For whatever reason?" I didn't want to tell her about Asria if she already knew. But if she already knew, how? Father had not announced it to the common public nor even to the nobility. Perhaps a rumor could have spread from the servants in the castle, but even then, that was a very quick time to make it all the way across the city where the Corzavan Estate was.
Ezalie must have realized all of this at the same moment I did because she gasped. "Oh dear. Oh, goodness, I wasn't supposed to say anything."
I was thoroughly confused now and, with a glance at Gentry who knew the whole situation with my sister at this point, I could tell she was as well.
Nervously, I met Ezalie's eyes and muttered, "I won't be mad. I would just like to know how much you know."
She looked away. "I know your sister was kidnapped while you were away on a trip to Caliprofra."
So she knew even more than I realized. I'd suspected that she just knew that something had happened to Asria, but not particularly kidnapping nor in the specific place. Not many had known about our impromptu trip, not even Lord Toklyn until the day before.
After a sip of my tea, I asked tentatively, "How did you find out?"
"I... I promised I wouldn't say anything."
That left me concerned until she added, "But I don't want to lie to you. You actually might already know. I'm not sure..."
These additional words made me both curious and apprehensive as both Gentry and I waited for her to explain.
She took a breath and met my eyes slowly before saying, "I've been in correspondence with your brother, Prince Brazantine."
I titled my head slightly. "Correspondence? How do you mean?"
"Letters." A small smile graced her lips. "We've been exchanging letters for a week or two now and with the castle's personal messenger, it's been quite a few."
I was thoroughly shocked. "With... Brazantine?" And he hadn't told me?
"Yes. I'm sorry. He didn't want anyone to know because he was afraid it would be taken out of context and false rumors would spread, like we were exchanging... um, love notes or something of the sort." She blushed and rushed to clarify, "Which we aren't. They are simple, friendly letters. Though I suppose they have gotten a little personal lately since Braz has been in need of a friend. And I am happy to be that friend."
I was still trying to comprehend the fact that Braz had been doing this without my knowledge. We generally told each other everything. Well, almost everything. I suppose I'd been the same way with Larklind for a while so I couldn't be upset. Some friendships were best kept between one and the other for a while before the world had the opportunity to interfere with them.
After this information finally settled, I slowly became curious. "Do you think perhaps..." I paused, not wanting to overstep my bounds. But if what I'd speculated about them fancying each other was true, this could become more than just friendly correspondence for my brother and my new found friend.
Ezalie, having been patient for me to continue, prompted, "Yes?"
I swallowed and tried to hide a slight blush. "Forgive me, I don't wish to intrude on your relationship with my brother."
"Oh, no, your Highness! Please, we are friends and I'm sure whatever I tell you Prince Brazantine would have told you eventually. Please, ask. I promise I won't be offended or annoyed."
Nodding slightly, I forced myself to continue even with my heart rate increasing. "Do... do you think perhaps you and my brother might ever..."
I didn't seem to have to finish this as she grinned, looking away bashfully. "I'm not sure. I... If I'd admit this to anyone, I'd admit it to you. To be completely honest, I might have taken a liking to your brother but I fear that that's not anything new for him, ladies liking him. So I'm not going to value it in any sort of way or get my hopes up since he has any option of lady he'd like. There's very little chance he'd choose me and, for now, I will be content in being his friend."
Though I didn't want to give her false hope, I wanted her to know at least the truth of the situation. "May I tell you something?" I asked, just to make sure she wanted to know first.
"Of course."
"My brother... He generally doesn't"—I searched for the word— "reach out to anyone besides our family. He's polite and sociable, but to be completely transparent with you, I believe there is something different about your relationship with him. He just... smiles very easily around you and... I don't think he's sent very many letters to friends outside of the castle besides our kin... I suppose all I'm saying is that I don't think it's as trivial as you are making it seem." I took a breath, realizing I'd really just said all that at once. I hadn't said that much to anyone that wasn't my family or Larklind in a very long time. Surprisingly, despite my slightly erratic nerves, it felt so freeing.
Though I could tell Ezalie was trying to hide both her blush and her smile, she wasn't very successful at either. Twiddling with her napkin, she tentatively looked up at me through her lashes. "Do you really think he could fancy me back?"
I sipped my tea. "I'm not guaranteeing it but... I've never seen him act in such a way to a lady before so it's a possibility."
Ezalie was quiet for a moment, seemingly thinking this through. Eventually, she focused on me again with a smile. "Thank you." And then she glanced at Gentry. "Oh, I'm sorry. We've been talking completely about me. How about you, Lady Gentry? I would love to get to know you more."
Gentry ran her finger along the edge of her tea cup. "I'm no lady, but thank you for the implication."
"You're not a lady?" Ezalie exclaimed with wide eyes. "Oh, of course you are! You have to be! Anyone who looks so beautiful must be."
Gentry let a small smile creep across her lips. "Thank you, but I'm only a maid, m'lady. The princess was just kind enough to invite me to this."
"Well, I shall call you a lady anyway, for anyone who the princess views with respect, I will view with respect."
Gentry finally met her eyes and nodded slowly. "Thank you," she repeated.
Ezalie beamed. "You're very welcome. Now tell me a little bit about yourself. What is your family name?"
"Wecklen. We aren't a very old family name in Austora."
This caught my attention and Ezalie expressed the exact question that fluttered to the front of my mind. "Oh, how interesting. And why is that?"
"My grandparents migrated here from Quynt forty-five years ago during the outbreak of the Quyntish Plague, my father being only seven years old."
This was news to me. While I suppose her dark hair could be an indication of Quyntish heritage, her skin was a little darker than what was generally the standard in Quynt; Quyntans were even paler than Brickenfoltians. But her mother's genes or growing up with her father as a gardener might have contributed to that.
"How lovely!" Ezalie exclaimed, grasping Gentry's arm. "Have you ever been there? Is it as beautiful as I've heard? I've always wanted to travel and see the mountain passes, but the closest I've seen were the cliffs in Ethira, and even that was only in passing."
"Yes, I've been a couple times to visit family and old friends of my grandparents. I suppose it is nice but I wouldn't suggest going in the winter. Austora doesn't see the cold the way Quynt does."
Ezalie's smile only grew. "No, that's just the time! I have never seen snow before. Imagine!"
Gentry laughed. I'd never heard it so pure and genuine before and as I took a drink of tea, I smiled to myself. It was nice to see her growing comfortable. "Yes, it can be pretty," Gentry said, "but very cold."
Ezalie laughed. "Sounds amazing compared to Austora's warm summers. Though I suppose I shouldn't say that too loud or I might offend the princess," she joked.
I shook my head with a smile. "None taken."
The two chuckled and my heart warmed another degree.
"What about you, m'lady?" Gentry asked after a moment. "What is your ancestry? Your family?"
"Oh, we date back longer than I can count. Though I suppose I would know the exact number of years if I actually listened in my tutoring," she added with a wink. "We're one of the oldest families in Austora which is, as my father says, why we have such a close estate to the castle and why... um, we are able to have relations with the royal family." She glanced at me, her expression unsettled.
Though it was odd talking about her brother and my almost nonexistent relationship at this point, especially with all that was currently going on, I explained, "You don't have to be afraid to talk about it."
Ezalie nodded tentatively and continued in explanation to Gentry. "You most likely know this but I have my parents and brother and, well, let's just say our parents hope to marry us off well." She stared down at the biscuit on her plate. "That's one reason I haven't told them about my friendship with Braz yet... Not only because Braz told me not to but if they knew, they most likely would want me to use it to our family's advantage. And I don't want to treat Braz like that." She looked at me. "I don't want to treat you like that."
Gentry nodded in understanding and I found that I was very appreciative of Ezalie's pure and selfless character. I didn't see that often in many of the noble ladies, as Julietta was an example of. Or, I suppose, I felt like she was an example of. She still hadn't really done anything to show this yet, but there was a very different air that people like Ezalie and people like Julietta added to a room. And I liked Ezalie's air much more.
As we continued to chat, eat, and drink, the afternoon lengthened. But the time was well spent in comfortable company. As I started to learn more about these two young ladies, the more I found it was easier to talk to them, easier to open up to them. The easier it was to let myself befriend them. I hadn't realized how much I needed people like them until Larklind.
Thinking of him, I felt my heart skip a little. I'd have to tell him all about this afterward. He'd be so excited.
"Why are you smiling?" Ezalie questioned teasingly.
My grin instantly fell, panic spiking down my spine as I swallowed nervously.
Ezalie realized. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."
"No, it's okay... Um..." I tapped my fingers in my lap under the table and then let out a breath. "I was just thinking about a friend."
Gentry raised her brows. "Is it the guard you've been spending much of your time with recently?"
Ezalie gasped and I was right there with her, surprised Gentry knew about that. But Ezalie had exclaimed for a completely different reason. "Wait, are you having a secret romance with a palace guard? Like in the books?"
I felt my cheeks blush furiously. "Um... I-I‒No. No, I-I'm not. We're just friends. I..." I swallowed at my anxious stuttering and the way my breath was coming faster.
Ezalie reached out and touched my arm. "I'm sorry. Don't feel pressured," she said apologetically. "I didn't mean to make things awkward. I just got excited."
I forced myself to calm down and shook my head. "No. No, it's okay. I'm just still getting used to talking to people, I guess. Don't feel bad." I sat up straighter and looked her in the eye. "To answer your question, no. Larklind and I are just friends."
Gentry chuckled slightly and we both looked at her.
"Do you disagree?" Ezalie asked, thoroughly engrossed in this topic.
"I'm not saying anything about the princess's personal life."
"As you shouldn't," I muttered. But when she looked up at me, I smiled slightly at her to show that I was kidding. She smiled back.
Ezalie looked like she wanted to ask a thousand more questions, but just as she opened her mouth, the door to the parlor pushed open and the servant from before stepped in. "Your Highness, my ladies. Introducing Prince Brazantine."
He stepped aside and my brother walked through the door with a wide smile. The three of us stood, Gentry and I glancing at Ezalie who quickly yet subtly touched up her already immaculately pristine hair. Then we looked at each other and shared a secret, knowing smile.
"Sorry to intrude on the party," Braz said after we'd exchanged bows and curtsies. "But my sister has never held one before so it is only mandatory that I make sure she is doing it correctly."
I sighed and shook my head at my brother. "How did you even find out?"
"Servants know everything."
"And apparently maids, too," I said under my breath.
Both Gentry and Ezalie heard me, though, and weren't able to hold back their laughs. Though Braz neither heard nor would understand what I meant by my words, he smiled along, his eyes landing on Ezalie as she laughed beautifully.
"Good sir, would you be willing to find me another chair?" Braz asked as the three of us sat back down at the table. The servant scrambled away for a moment only to quickly come back with another seat for Braz. He nodded in thanks and then sat down in between me and Gentry, across from Ezalie.
"How are you today, ladies?" he asked both Gentry and Ezalie, though his eyes lingered more on the lady across from him.
Gentry quickly said that she was doing well before letting Ezalie respond. I tried to hold back my smile by drinking several sips of tea, but every time I met Gentry's eyes and she smirked, I didn't succeed.
"I'm doing very well, your Highness. Thank you for asking," Ezalie replied graciously. She hesitated a moment before nervously saying, "Though I would like to apologize."
Braz added a couple cookies to his plate. "For what? Surely there's nothing that you've done against me. You're nearly perfect."
Ezalie blushed as red as a tomato. "You're too flattering, your Highness. But I've broken a promise to you. I've told them of our letters."
For a moment, his smile flickered into panic before he met my gaze and I gave him a closed-lip smile and a small nod, telling him that I wasn't mad. He sighed in relief and replied to Ezalie, "That's actually perfect. I didn't want to have to be the one to tell my sister that I was keeping something from her. As you can tell, she has a very hot temper."
"I think you're speaking of the wrong sister," I said a moment before I processed the words. And then I snapped my mouth shut, my heart panging.
Braz paused, his eyes momentarily filled with pain. I reached out and took his hand under the table and muttered, "I'm sorry."
Silence settled around us for a small time but then Braz easily broke it like he was always able to do. "I suppose you're right. But everyone has their moments, even you. I remember when you were nine years old and you bit me in the shoulder because I took your stuffed horse." He laughed, causing Ezalie and Gentry to do the same.
"It wasn't that hard," I defended, though I was internally relieved for the topic change. "And it wasn't the first time you'd done it, either. I was justified in my actions."
"My dear Ezalie, do you believe she was justified in leaving a permanent scar on my shoulder simply because I took her stuffy?"
Ezalie giggled. "I can't say. I wasn't there."
"She's smart in not taking sides," I told Braz. "Because either way, she'd upset one of us."
"Very true, sister, very true. And we all know what happens when we upset Asaidylina." He picked up a biscuit and took a huge bite out of it.
"Careful, or you'll end up with a matching mark on the other shoulder."
All three of them laughed and I found there was no other sound that I savored more than the joy of my friends and family.
~.✧.~
Ezalie left a couple hours later and I was surprised that I didn't want to see her go. I even gave her a hug and told her that we needed to do something again sometime soon, to which she enthusiastically agreed. After Ezalie left, Gentry gave me a curtsy and tried to shuffle away, donning her humble maid attitude again. But I stopped her and told her that she didn't have to hide so much of herself. I actually wanted her as a friend and I would be much more comfortable if she just acted herself. I could tell she was surprised but the smile that pulled to her face showed me that she wanted this as well.
After much teasing about Ezalie on my part, Braz soon left toward the music hall and I was left wistfully happy for the first time since my sister had disappeared. But it quickly left when guilt tried to take its place. Was I allowed to feel happy when my sister was still missing and probably hurting? I swallowed, shaking the guilt aside. She would understand if, just for a moment, I let myself feel happy. Everything had been so dim recently. Surely it was okay to let myself have this one moment...
With this decided, I knew exactly what I needed to do next.
I shuffled out through a side door of the castle and toward the outbuildings. The early evening sun was beautifully warm on my skin and only accentuated the jovial feeling in my chest. The smell of the wind and blooming flowers pulled an even bigger smile to my face and, still, the feeling swelled within me.
When I made it to a particular outbuilding, I paused. I wasn't sure if I was allowed to go in. I assumed not. Last time I'd been looking for Larklind when he was off duty, the outbuildings had been swarming with other guards that had gladly helped me. But I didn't see anyone around this time. In fact, it was very quiet. I wondered where they all were.
But then I heard laughing coming from an outbuilding far off to my right and I glanced over. Deciding it was worth a shot, I slowly approached the building.
When I sided up next to the wall, I peeked in the window. Inside was a mess hall of sorts, with several dozen guards eating and laughing with each other. I scanned the crowd, but none of them, that I could tell, were Larklind.
With a sigh, I tapped my fingers together and pondered what to do next. But when I heard more voices coming from around the building, I let myself follow.
Out the back was a small lawn area where off duty guards were moving around, training and talking. There weren't as many as were in the mess hall so it didn't take me long to see his dark hair and smiling face.
He hadn't noticed me yet, so I grabbed my skirts and quickly made my way over, coming up behind him. When I was close, I slowed my approach, walking quietly so he wouldn't hear me. The two other guards he was talking to noticed me but I quickly put a finger to my lips, hoping they would understand. They discreetly nodded and I was slightly proud of myself for doing such an action to strangers.
When I was right behind Larklind, I reached up and tapped his left shoulder while veering to the right. He turned and looked over to the left and his expression turned confused for a moment before he spun a full three sixty and finally saw me. I grinned and chuckled slightly. "Hi."
His smile was wide and dazzling. "Hi. What are you doing here?"
I shrugged, glancing at the two other guards a little bashfully. "I just wanted to talk to you. It's been a little while."
Larklind also looked at the two other guards, one of who was giving him a smirk that I didn't want to interpret. A look passed between the three and then the smirking guard said, "We'll leave you two to it." And then, with a bow toward me, they walked away.
When they were a good enough distance away, I said, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt your conversation."
"Don't worry about it. I would much rather talk to you then Sawyer and Bexten anyway." He winked.
I couldn't hold back my smile.
"So how are you doing?" he asked, his expression turning a bit more serious. As we slowly started to walk toward the edge of the lawn, he added, in a lower voice, "Any news on your sister?"
I swallowed and shook my head. "Nothing yet... But I'm trying my best to stay hopeful. It's been hard, especially because my father wants to keep everything going the same despite how nothing is the same right now."
He nodded slowly as I let out a heavy breath.
"I'm sorry I haven't been around as much," he muttered, taking my hand. "I should have been helping you through this."
"No, it's my fault. Everything has just been really busy, so I'm sorry." I rested my hand on top of his.
He smiled a little. "But you're here now so we can just make it up to each other."
"Right," I said, my spirit lifting a little again. "So how are you? How's your shoulder?"
"Doing better. A little scabbed over. The healer said it might scar but I don't really care."
I nodded. "It will just be a valiant mark of your bravery."
He chuckled. "Indeed."
After a second, I swallowed and said, "I actually found you to tell you something specific."
"Yeah?"
I nodded enthusiastically. "I hosted my first party by myself."
His eyes widened as did his smile. "You did? Today?"
"Yeah. It was amazing and I have no clue how I did it but I didn't freak out or have a panic attack or anything. It was... it felt so amazing."
He shook his head in bewilderment. "Who are you and what have you done with Saidy?"
Laughing, I shoved him lightly.
We made it to a bench that sat around the lawn and we sat down. "But seriously, princess, I'm so proud of you. A little mad I wasn't invited, but still proud."
I felt my face warm and my grin stretch wider at his teasing but I gladly accepted the blush and the smile, feeling victorious. "Thank you. I think it just took someone to loosen me up." I gave him an appreciative look.
With a small chuckle, he nodded. "Perhaps it did. I'm glad I could be of service, your Highness."
"Stop it."
Laughing harder, he shook his head at me. "What? I'm just being respectful."
"But you know I like just Saidy better."
"Which is why I do it."
I sighed. "I know." But I couldn't act annoyed when he smiled at me like that, making me grin back.
We settled into silence for a moment as we just sat next to each other and watched out over the lawn. I leaned forward, letting the sun find my face and I closed my eyes. "I've missed you," I said before I could stop myself. I glanced at him and blinked a couple times, realizing how pathetic that sounded since it had only been a couple days. I swallowed.
But his soft smile and sparkling eyes eased my nerves. "I've missed you, too. Do you have any plans tomorrow? Maybe we could walk around the gardens and... I don't know, talk."
The way he said it almost a little bashfully made a strange little fluttering thing happen in my stomach. I was nodding before I could speak. "I'd like that."
He grinned. "Good." He didn't say anything else in response, yet his gaze didn't leave mine. His smile turned softer and his eyes held something warmer as he looked at me, and suddenly his expression transformed into the one that I could never decipher, the one that he'd given me when I'd started the fire in the woods and those other occasional times. It always made something stir in my chest, something that was close to longing but not quite, something warm like the sun on my face and freeing like the rush I got when I rode my horse faster than I was supposed to. I had no idea what this feeling was but I only got it around him. And I adored it.
"Why do you look at me like that?" I was eventually able to ask, my voice involuntarily a whisper.
He shook his head slightly. "I can't help it."
I had to blush and smile wider as that feeling inside only grew stronger.
A/N Well what a cute wholesome chapter TuT I think we really needed this after all the doom and gloom I've been putting on y'all with Asria's kidnapping. Anyone else agree?? OKAY THOUGHTS: Thoughts on Ezalie and her cute crush on Braz?! How Braz treated her? (Anyone else shipping them freakishly hard?!?!) And Gentry is Quyntish? Thoughts on that even though we haven't really heard much about Quynt yet? AND THOUGHTS ON THE END SCENE WITH LARK?!?! OMGOODNESS WHY ARE THEY SO CUTE??? THEY'RE GOING TO BURST MY LITTLE HEART ToT ... *clears throat* Sorry, I'll pull myself together XD Anyways, all that to say that I WANT EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR THOUGHTS!!! ----->