Broken But Beautiful
Chapter 5.. New Life.
***************
"Gulf look who is at the door? I am changing Nattarika's clothes". Mew said from the room as he heard the door bell ringing. Gulf was in the kitchen preparing for lunch. It was weekend and they had planned a little family outing at a near park.
Gulf went to the door wiping his hands with the apron he was wearing. He looked at the peephole and saw an unfamiliar face.
"Phi.. There is someone at the door. I dont know him. I am scared Phiii". Gulf was panicked. He was afraid may be he was the man sent by his husband through his contacts even if he was in jail. He rushed back to be held by Mew. He was worried too. Just then the bell rang again.
"Go to the room. Lock it from inside. I will see who is it". He picked up a knife from kitchen and went to the door making sure Gulf has locked himself. He peeped out and sighed in relief.
"Joss. Its you. Oh hey Winnie". He greeted the guests. Joss looked at the knife and started laughing.
"Mew atleast you should have taken a big knife. You cant even slice a person's hand with this butter knife". He was laughing while he hug Mew followed by Win.
"Hello Phi Mew". He hug him tight.
"Gulf come out. Its safe". He called Gulf who opened the door slightly and then ran to see Win in the lounge. He hug him tightly checking him for any injury or hurt. The brother in laws were shedding happy tears.
"Gulf he is Joss Way'ar. The lawyer dealing your case. Calm down". He introduced them both.
"I.. I am sorry Phi. I.. I thought may be". Gulf appologized for his behaviour.
"Its okay. I can understand". Joss said with a smile.
"Phi Gulf where are girls? Am missing them. Can i see them"? Win held Gulf's hands. Gulf looked at Mew who chuckled.
"Why looking at me. Go take him around. He will stay here from now. The guest room is available. Show him everything. Arrange his things in the room". Mew patted his shoulder and smiled and they both ran to Gulf's room.
"So. How are you holding up"? Joss asked Mew once they settled with coffee. "And oh, Tee has signed the papers and submitted. Tae came to my office one day. He was asking about you. I said i dont know where you live. He is broken Mew. Worst shape". Joss told him. Mew was sitting staring at his hands.
"Joss. You have known everything. My struggles. My hardships. I did everything for Tae. I set it up for Tae. For his future. You even know how much i had to suffer due to Tee's father. He almost ruined me when i revealed his true face. But. I have nothing for them now. Not even forgiveness. I gave them the restaurant, the house, that i loved most. And i have nothing else to give them. I know Tae is looking for me. I have seen him spending hours at restaurant to meet me someday. But i cant. I have left that restaurant since i have transferred the ownership. I cant face them. I dont want to face them. Please, tell him that you talked to me and i dont want to see him or listen about him. Its too much to bear". He said in a helpless tone. Joss held his hand in understanding.
When Mew took admission in few short term courses, there he met Joss and Max. Though they would only meet in one or two courses still they clicked good. They were there listening and supporting Mew through his hard time. They helped him pay his course fee or buy him meals when he would save every single penny for Tae. They were witness when Mew got married to Tee and then they found how much the man tortured Tee and how he was involved the illegal business.
Mew was right. He had given everything to his brother and husband and now he had nothing more to give. He had all the rights to spend his life for himself. Being a little selfish.
Joss spent some more time before leaving. Even Gulf asked him to stay for lunch but he postponed it for next time. Win was almost stuck to Gulf. In the kitchen, with girls. They had so much to catch. Mew was happy that Gulf was no more worried about Win. Also he wanted to focus on some work too because he was free for now.
********
Days were passing in a routine. Win had started working in a library although Mew opposed the idea. But he managed to make Mew agree by asking Gulf to help him. Somehow they both managed to convince Mew. Who made sure that the library was close and it was safe environment with a good pay. He was okay with the fact if Win wanted to work to support himself. He was just afraid of his safety. But since it was just around the corner so he was fine now.
He was out to a nearest departmental store to buy a few things with Nattarika and Nattasha secured to his chest. Actually he had to come alone obviously but by now the girls were getting fond of him. So they started crying as he left them in the room. Mew was suprised at their behaviour but Gulf laughingly told him that its normal for an almost 2 months old baby to get attach to their parents as they start to recognise the scent. And Nattarika and Nattasha were attached to him more than Nattarine.
So here he was running the trolly while filling and checking the items he required for home and the girls were happily sucking on their pacifiers with closed eyes. Few kitchen items few things for girls. And if Gulf would have seen him, every other thing in the trolly would be about the girls.
"Mew". He heard someone called him and his hands grripped the handle of the trolly hard. How could he not recognize the voice. But he didnt turn back. Instead he walked to the counter to get the things billed.
"Mew please listen to me. One time please. I beg of you". He heard Tae pleading. Everyone was looking at them. Pity, curiosity, mocking. He pursed his lips in a tight line while ignoring every plead and took the bags after paying for it.
He walked out of the store but his hand was caught. He harshly pulled his hand before turning around to find Tae standing with tears in his eyes. His heart felt a pain looking at him in disoriented shape. He had never let Tae shed a single tear. And now his swollen eyes were a proof how much he had been crying.
"Please Mew".
"Am sorry but why the hell you are disturbing me? Dont you know i am busy with my girls". He said in a harsh tone. Tae stepped back as the words sink in. He now saw two girls seccured at his chest.
"These. These are...". He couldnt finish because the gaze was too intense for him to let speak.
"yes these are my girls. And i am busy. And i dont want to see your face. I have cleared all paths for you. So there is no use to mess around. Go to your home and your family. And dont disturb my peaceful life. For now i want to live for myself. Without any worry, without any regret". He turned to go to his apartment though his heart was in heart was in pain. He wanted to turn and hug Tae. He wanted to kiss his forehead saying everything will be okay. But he couldnt do it.
He reached his apartment making sure Tae had not followed him. He entered the lounge and his lips smiled automatically looking at Gulf handling Nattarine on the floor.
"You are back Phi. Nattarika and Nattasha bothered you"? He asked helping with the bags as Mew opened the harness and put the girls with their sister. May be they were hungry now because they started crying as soon as their backs hit the bed on floor.
Mew and Gulf looked at each other and chuckled. .
"Such drama queens they are. They were out for more than an hour and didnt even complain a bit. And now starting crying after they saw their mother". Mew teased Gulf who sat with the back to the couch to get his girls fed.
It was their inside joke. Gulf would call Mew as the Dad of the girls as how he was providing for them and Mew would call him the mommy of the girls because he had to fed them.
Mew brought juice for Gulf and made him sit in his arms as he adjusted the girls to latch on his swollen nipples.
"Gulf. How you know the girls are hungry"? Mew asked him looking at Gulf who was looking at the girls with a happy smile.
"Ummm.. How to explain it now Phi. Call it mother instincts". He said trying to wave off but he forgot the man sitting behind him was curious as hell.
"Oh no. Thats not a scientific logic. I mean i would understand if the girls start crying and i get it if they are crying even if their diaper is changed or anything. But sometimes i see you automatically hold them and they start taking milk. How"? Like Gulf thought, Mew couldnt be satisfied.
He slight shook his head and placed the girls on their bed after they had their share of milk. He buttoned his shirt and turned to Mew still in his arms.
"Somebody curious eh"? He winked and Mew growled making him chuckle.
"Actually. Well it is a bit technical and scientific too. Since the girls are more or less 2 months old. They only survive on milk. So its like an automatic clock that ticks inside me. After an hour. My .. Umm chest or better say my nipples get heavy like filled with milk. And i feel the burden indicating that the girls are hungry. And when they finish feeding the heaviness reduces, indicating that the milk level is reduced. Once they will turn 6 months above, they will be introduced to other baby foods. And then it will be reduced". He explained in between blushing cheeks. He looked at Mew who was looking back at him with gaping mouth.
"What"? He started laughing looking at his expressions.
"Ohh. Thats the reason your nipples are swollen sometimes. Wow. I often noticed but never thought about it. Wow". He commented in amaze and Gulf busted into laughter.
"Khun Po', you dont need to worry about it. Like i said, its motherly instincts". He ruffled Mew's hairs playfully.
"Wait. You said the milk produced is enough to be fed to the girls for one time. And then its produced again. Right"? Mew raised another quesion. Gulf laughed at him. Whats with him today? But may be it was natural for parents to be curious.
"Yes exactly. But yeah if we take a healthy diet. Like you take care of me. Juices, fruits, milk, that helps body to produce more milk and gives energy". He explained and this time Mew was just nodding his head as in appreciating himself that he was doing good for Gulf and girls.
Gulf stood up to take care of the things Mew bought when Mew held his hand.
"What if i am hungry"? Mew looked at him but Gulf didnt understand.
"I will make lunch. Fiftee....".
"Talking about taking milk". Mew wiggled his eyebrows in tease. Gulf tried to get the meaning and then his eyes open wide..
"Hoyii Phi.. You tease. Its for girls. Not for their daddy. Shoo shooo". He playfully smacked Mew's hands who was coming close as to open his shirt.
The lounge echoed with laughter and chuckles as both men were running around. One trying to hide and one trying to catch.
***************
"Gulf. Win. I have to talk to you guys". Mew said as he helped washing dishes with Win.
Gulf turned to see him in serious expressions.
"What is it Phi? Everything okay"? Gulf was getting nervous. Mew held his hands in assurance that everything was okay.
"Yeah. Come.". He took them both to the lounge. "I know you both dont know anything about me. And it might have crossed your mind that who i am? What do i do and all this. I will answer all the questions when the times comes. But for now, i have made a decision". He told in his wame tone. Win was looking at him with confused eyes but Gulf was feeling uneasy inside.
"Phi. You.. You are not going to leave us right? Phi we have only you Phi. Dont leave us". Gulf licked his dry lips trying to gulp down the tears. Mew turned to him surprised. But then he got the fear in Gulf's words.
"Oh no. No not at all. Where did it come from? I cannot imagine my life without you and the girls Gulf. I will never leave you guys as long as i am alive. Come here". He hug them both making them calm.
"What i wanted to say is, we have to pack our bags, we are moving to Chiang Mai. This weekend. So pack only necessary things. Clothes and basic items. Make sure to get everything for girls and rest we can purchase there". He told them.
"But why phi? What happened"? Gulf asked him. Mew was quiet for a moment.
"Ummm can we not talk about it. Just lets say this place is giving me a headache. Worst memories. So i want to start a living there. A new beginning. A new home for our girls to grow up without any fear. What say"? Mew said.
Though Gulf was not satisfied but for now he sealed his lips. He trusted Mew. He wont hurt him or his girls anyway. Everything else could wait.