DAMIEN
...we still need a veil of blood.
****the two guards walks back into the dungeon
GEORGE (GUARD)
can't believe we just got a another shipment from mark fucking zuckerberg,
HARRITION (GUARD)
200 veils of blood for the ritual tonight!!! yessss!!!
GEORGE (GUARD)
he's so usefulllll! love him!!!
HARRITION (GUARD)
i know right!!! oh and put the package right next to the candles.
HARRITION (GUARD)
alright man jeffyyyy bezos is waiting for us to come back....
****the guards walk back to go to the meeting
KYLE
what the hell?
DAMIEN
well... we got everything we need
****damien puts his hands through the bars and grabs all the supplies they need for the ritual. he sets the 8 candles he took in a small circle and lights them up with the stolen lighter from his pocket. he puts the veil of blood in the middle of the circle.
KYLE
should we really be doing this guys?
BUTTERS
oh hamburgers....
DAMIEN
everyone get in a circle around the candles..
DAMIEN
holds hands, everyone
****everyone grabs each others hands
DAMIEN
now repeat this chant, after me.
****damien takes a deep breath and starts the chant
DAMIEN
this one is for the boys with the booming system
****everyone repeats
DAMIEN
top down, AC with the cooler system
****everyone repeats
DAMIEN
when he come up in the club, he be blazin' up
****everyone repeats
DAMIEN
got stacks on deck like he savin' up
****everyone repeats, the ground starts shaking and satan appears in a mist of red smoke
SP SATAN
WHO DARES SUMMON M-
SP SATAN
wait. damien? what did i tell you about this? you shouldn't summon daddy, you use your little demon powers to call on me, that's why i gave you them. no summoning. okay?
DAMIEN
but father, i am in desperate need of your help. they took my powers.
SP SATAN
you know i can't interact with anyone on earthly realms... unless they are specifically involved in my summoning. i can't help you son.
DAMIEN
but that's not why i called upon you
MYSTERION
that's where i come in mr. damien's dad
MYSTERION
you need to kill me.
SP SATAN
oh wait! you're that one kenny kid! the one immortal one! cthulhu the homie, told me about you!
STAN
kenny? mysterion is kenny?
CARTMAN
and he's immortal? damn, that's kewl.
KYLE
kick ass dude!
MYSTERION
i may be kenny i may not be
MYSTERION
.......my identity is meant to be a secret.
CARTMAN
yeah that's definitely fucking kenny
CARTMAN
only kenny would say some gay shit like that
SP SATAN
so you want me to kill you child?
MYSTERION
yeah... everyone here is too pussy..
SP SATAN
oh come on! even damien? my spawn? the son of the dark prince? too pussy to commit murder? i didn't fucking raise you like that!
SP SATAN
i thought i raised you with no morals.... oh no... i failed as a parent!
SP SATAN
damien!!! get your ass over here and kill kenny right now!!
DAMIEN
with what? you forget that i no longer have powers......
SP SATAN
excuses, excuses!
SP SATAN
guess i'll just do it my damn self since my kids a fucking WIMP!
SP SATAN
well kenny are you ready?
MYSTERION
i would actually appreciate not being called-
****sp satan kills mysterion before he could finish his sentence by summoning a bunch of rats to quickly eat him alive, everyone looks away, frightened and disgusted, except damien and cartman, a good few seconds later his body disappears and the rats scurry away.
STAN
holy shit dude!
TWEEK
AAARAH!!!!
KYLE
MYSTERION, NO!!!
CARTMAN
where the fuck did he go???
PIP
oh dear! i might just puke out my lunch
CRAIG
what the actual fuck just happened?
SP SATAN
NOW DAMIEN! ONCE YOU GET YOUR POWERS BACK YOU COME STRAIGHT HOME MISTER AND IF YOU DON'T I'LL SEND THE DEMON DOGS TO LOOK FOR YOU!
SP SATAN
AND ONCE YOU GET THE FUCK HOME WE'RE GOING TO HAVE A LITTLE TALK ABOUT YOU ENJOYING MURDER AND TORTURE!!! BECAUSE I'M SICK AND TIRED OF HAVING SUCH A KIND EMPATHETIC LITTLE PUSSY FOR A SON!!!
****sp satan disappears in a cloud of red smoke.
DAMIEN
....sometimes i hate him... what if i don't want to murder and torture every living person like him?
PIP
i'm sorry your dad is like that, damien.
STAN
yeah man, seems like he just wants you to be a clone of him.
PIP
and quite frankly.... i know you're better than that.
DAMIEN
well.. tell that to him.