Daphne: Did anyone see my leopard print shorts?
Lou: No, but I saw a leopard print headband. It's on the couch
Daphne: That's the shorts I was looking for. Thanks
Lou:
Debbie: You okay?
Lou: *Stunned* I thought it was a headband and jogged around the neighbourhood wearing it!
***
Constance: *tweeting* I am dead, sadly. Please comment how much you loved me and explain in detail how special I was to you
Amita: *replying* Constance! Firstly, you are literally sitting next to me, eating snickers. Secondly, if you were dead, who tweeted this?
Constance: *replying* ... not Constance?
***
Constance: The Ocean is a soup
Debbie: Excuse me-
Constance: Not you. Ocean as in nature's Ocean. It is a soup
Debbie & others:
Lou: Do elaborate
Constance: What are the basic ingredients needed for a soup?
Tammy: Uh... water, some vegetables...
Lou: Salt, and maybe some form of meat...
Constance: *Tilts her head*
Others:
Debbie: Ocean is a soup
***
*Young Debbie, Lou and Tammy in college*
Tammy: Why are you late?
Lou: A technical error occurred, causing an unexpectedly long bout of unconsciousness
Tammy: Wha- I don't get it
Debbie: She overslept
***
Debbie: Sorry for the delay. I was doing something
Tammy: Doing what?
Debbie: Uh... something
Others:
Lou: *arriving a minute later* I was delayed
Daphne: It's alright, something
***
Daphne: *to Debbie and Lou* So, who is the big spoon and little spoon?
Debbie: None. We both are chopsticks
Amita: Aww that's cute... what does that mean though?
Daphne: Does that mean you two snuggle together perfectly?
Lou: It means that if you take one away, the only thing the other is good for is stabbing
***
Constance: It is nice to be wanted, you know?
Amita: Not by the law!
***
Constance: Lou, I need help in talking to this guy I like
Lou: Okay, who is he?
Constance: The hottest barista ever who served me a 'double shot half-caff caramel macchiato with the dusting of cinnamon on the top'. I wanna talk to him but whenever I try, all I can say is umm... uh... ugh... I run out of words.
Lou: Because you used up all your words ordering that fancy coffee?
***
Constance: I want to be a caterpillar
Debbie: I know I'll regret asking this, but, why?
Constance: Eat a lot, sleep for a while, wake up beautiful
Debbie: You do know that they have a lifespan of just 2 weeks right?
Constance: That's another highlight of being a caterpillar!
Debbie: WHA-
***
Constance: Chillax!
Lou: That's not a valid word
Constance: Sometimes those who deny 'chillax' are the ones who need to chillax the most
***
Lou: Tell me why I stumbled upon Tammy's profile on Tinder?
Debbie: Tell me why were you on Tinder, Lou?
***
Debbie: *Punches Lou on her face*
Lou: WHAT THE FUCK! WHY?
Debbie: I was going through last year's to-do list that had an unchecked task 'Punch Lou on her face. She deserves it'
Lou:
Debbie: I don't remember why I had that in my to-do list, nor do I remember what you did that deserved a punch
Lou: I don't remember either what I did that you had to punch me
Debbie: I can only assume you got what was coming to you. Not 100% sure, though
Lou: Well, whatever I did, I guess I deserved it
Debbie: Let that possibly be a lesson to you for doing whatever you did last year
***
Debbie: How come whenever I have fun, it is considered wrong?
Lou: People go broke when you have fun
***
Debbie: Where is Lou?
Tammy: In her room. She said she is painting what she loves the most and so, we are not supposed to disturb her
Debbie: Okay
*Debbie unlocks Lou's door and walks in*
Lou: WHA-
Debbie: *looks at the half-drawn portrait of herself*
Debbie: Uh... that's my portrait. Are you in love with me, Lou?
Lou: *trying to hide the portrait* That's ridiculous
Debbie:
Lou: *still trying to hide the portrait* I mean, that's wrong!
Lou: Why would I be in love with you?
Lou: Who in this fucking stupid world told you that?
Lou: Why would you even think that?
Debbie:
Debbie: ... I wonder
Lou: I mean, it's insane why will anyone think like that! I? In love with you? That's wrong! You are my best friend and...
Lou: *goes on and on making excuses, nervous and sweating in fear*
Debbie: *sighing* should've pretended I didn't notice the painting I guess...
***
Tammy: *planning to celebrate Nine's birthday, calls Constance in private for help*
Tammy: Do you know why I wanted to speak to you privately?
Constance: I assume it is about that prank I pulled on Amita. In my defence, I did not know that much olive oil in soda would make someone throw up...
Tammy: It wasn't about that. But now it is!
***
Debbie: Wait, are you in love with me?
Lou: Have been for past 20 years, but thanks for finally noticing
***
Debbie: I love my team. I am proud of them. They are perfect
Constance: *Explodes the bathroom*
Tammy and Daphne: *Scream at each other*
Rose: *Accidentally burns the closet*
Amita: *Burns the brownies*
Nine: *Breaks the TV*
Lou: *Eats her Sandwich instead of helping*
Debbie: Cut that. They are not perfect. They are monsters
***
Daphne: So, how do I tell this girl, I love her?
Rose: Just say it to her
Daphne: Okay, I love you
Rose: Aww, love you too. Now go, tell her
Daphne: I just did
Rose: How did it go? Did she say it back?
Daphne: OMG! WEIL!!!
***
*Dinner time*
Constance: *TikTok*
Nine: *on Youtube*
Tammy: *On Facebook*
Daphne: *Instagram*
Amita: *Snapchat*
Rose: *Normal texting*
Lou: *trashing Americans on Twitter*
Debbie: Can we maybe put the phones down and have an actual human conversation?
Constance: We can but thanks to Steve Jobs, we don't have to
***
Lou: Let's just accept that, in the matters of food and culinary skills, I have the final say
Debbie: Okay, then. It is decided. In the matters of heist and cons, I have the final say; In the matters of kitchen, food and everything related to food, you have the final say...
Lou:
Debbie: Unless I disagree
***
Constance & Nine: *Accidentally break Lou's skull lamp, keep it back in place after gluing the pieces*
Lou: *Walks in* Something's wrong
Constance: What do you mean?
Lou: I am not sure. Something is wrong in this room. It doesn't feel right
Nine: I don't know what you are talking about
Lou: *Looks around, figures the broken skull lamp*
Lou: WHAT THE FUCK! MY SKULL LAMP! WHOEVER DID IT, I AM GOING TO KILL THAT CUNT!
Constance: Uh... Debbie broke it
Lou: oh... well, I didn't like that lamp anyway *Throws the skull lamp*
***
*Tammy invites Lou to yard sale. Lou reaches her suburb mansion*
Lou: Sorry, I'm late
Tammy: What happened?
Lou: Nothing. I just really didn't want to come
***
Tammy: HOW CAN YOU NOT CARE!
Debbie: Like this *Shrugs*
***
Debbie: I'm gonna sing a song I have been working on since four years. It is called 'my life with a bunch of dickheads'
Debbie: *Inhales deeply*
Debbie: *Plays the chord*
Debbie: *Screams*
***
*Debbie and Lou arguing*
Lou: Oh, how would you feel to be wrong
Debbie: Sweetheart, I would love to be wrong. I just don't live with the right people for that
***
Debbie: *working on a plan*
Lou: You only slept 8 hours over past 7 days. You are on the verge of nervous breakdown
Debbie: I am fine. I just- *bites a post-it stack*
Lou: Thats-
Debbie: *throwing the post-it stack at Lou* I asked for plain bagel, Lou. Not whole wheat
***
Debbie: What did the doc say, Rose?
Rose: Apparently, the 'bad vibes' I've been feeling are actually severe psychological distress
Constance & Nine: Mood
Debbie: What the hell is wrong with you people!
***
*At 3 am*
Lou: *Walks downstairs for a glass of water*
Lou: *Sees Constance eating Jell-O*
Lou: Constance, it is 3 in the morning. Why are you eating jelly?
Constance: I could be doing worse
Lou: Like what?
Constance: *Takes out plastic drum toy and starts banging them offbeat*
Lou: OKAY! GO BACK TO YOUR JELLY!
***
Debbie: I will cook dinner
Lou: *Laughs*
Debbie: Why are you laughing?
Lou: Weren't you joking?
***