The meeting with Queen Mirellia and Prince Varien was successfully pushed up to the next day at noon. The plan was to host a lunch and dinner meal for them and then meet to discuss in between. They'd stay the night in the palace and leave the next morning.
Mid morning when I woke up after a fitful and uneasy night, this meeting was the last thing in Austora I wanted to get up and attend. But I knew it was required. So after laying under my quilts for a few extra minutes, I forced my legs over the side of my bed and toward the bathroom to begin getting ready.
When I emerged from the bathroom after another bath since I'd broken into a cold sweat overnight, I discovered a plate of breakfast had been sent up. Though I was fairly hungry, my appetite was virtually nonexistent this morning because of the unease rolling in my stomach. So despite it being one of my favorite meals—eggs benedict, seasonal fruit salad, and sourdough toast—I kept it under its metal hood for later.
Despite wishing I could get ready on my own, Mother summoned Gentry for me. Even when she was upset, she upheld every queenly manner within her; despite the situation, she was still going to make sure I looked my best for the foreign visit.
Gentry was of course cordial and quiet as she helped me get ready, not saying anything more than a question here and there. I didn't say much either, which was normal. But I found my mind wandering far more than usual, which attributed to most of my silence today.
I was pulled from my thoughts when I noticed Gentry staring at me in the mirror. I swallowed, realizing she must have asked me something. "Pardon me?"
Gentry cleared her throat and repeated herself. "Would you like to keep your hair looser today? I know stress can cause headaches and I wouldn't want to make it worse..."
I blinked a few times, surprised by her courtesy. I wasn't sure why; she'd generally always been cordial to me. But today, it felt like she was even more so. "Yes, please. Thank you."
She nodded swiftly and quickly got to work putting up my hair.
It only took her about ten minutes, but by the time she was done, my hair looked simply elegant, exactly like it should be, yet it was one of the most comfortable hairstyles I'd been dressed in recently. The bottom half was left down, my natural wave coming out. The top half was gently braided from both temples down and then looped into a loose bun that she pinned in place with some bejeweled hair fasteners.
"Would you like to finish dressing?" she asked casually as I continued to look at my hair in the mirror. While we'd already cinched up my corset and slipped on my underskirts, I still needed to put my dress on and touch up with some jewelry.
I nodded, wishing I could further express my thanks for how considerately she'd chosen my hair style, but unsure how.
The dress that my mother had chosen for me was very intricate. The top layer was a light blue with draped skirting down the back. In the front in a layer underneath, it was peach, made of a coarser material. The bodice was adorned with small embroidered flowers and white frill lining on the seams and the ends of the sleeves. It wasn't my favorite dress I'd ever worn, but I had to admit that the detail and precision put into it screamed royalty and would most likely impress the Queen of Ethira. Mother always had the perfect eye when it came to preparing for good impressions.
When it was all said and done, Gentry took a step back and scanned over my entire look, checking for anything that needed touch ups. After straightening my light blue sapphire necklace, she nodded quickly. "You're ready, your Highness."
I glanced at myself in the mirror one more time and then back at her. Swallowing and rapidly tapping my fingers together, I forced myself to say, "I appreciate all you do for me."
Gentry blinked, like she didn't know how to receive this before she curtsied. "It's my job, Princess. It's what I do."
"I..." I paused but I needed to say this no matter how uncomfortable it was. "I still value the integrity you incorporate into your work. I-I couldn't look like I do without you and for that I am grateful." I cringed a little at my stutter, but I was still very proud of myself for making it all the way through.
Gentry continued to stare at me, and suddenly I wondered if perhaps I'd chosen the wrong time to say this or hadn't said it in a way that sounded sincere. Fearfully, my chest started closing up.
But then she smiled. A real smile that showed her not quite straight teeth. But despite the imperfection, it was beautiful. "Thank you, your Highness. I... Well, you just don't know how much I needed someone to say that."
"You're welcome," I squeaked, the tightness not completely dissipated from my chest. I wasn't sure what else to say but I knew that I was getting better at this. I hoped that I could have more exchanges with her as I grew more confident. I found that I liked Gentry a lot more when I actually gave her a chance to show me some of herself through discussion.
And then I knew what to say and despite how my heart was racing and trying to crawl its way up my throat, I blurted out. "Would you have tea with me tomorrow afternoon?"
Her stunned green eyes flicked from me to the door then back to me. "M-me?" she asked in bewilderment, even pointing at her chest. "You want to have tea with me? But I'm just your servant. I'm not important enough-"
"You aren't required but you are invited. If-if you want to..."
Again, she just shifted her footing like she was still processing. "I... Of course. Yes, I'd love to. Are you completely sure? I... I know you don't generally..." Her eyes turned fearful like she'd stuck her foot in her mouth without even finishing her sentence.
But I suppose I knew what she was going to say. I blushed. "Yes, I'm sure," was the only thing I could think of. It was better to just avoid the fact that this was completely out of my comfort zone and that both of us knew it. But I was trying my best.
"Um, then I accept. Would you like me to prepare the tea? Will there be other guests there?"
I hadn't thought of either of these things when I'd asked her in the spur of the moment and it made me even more nervous. Yet I wanted this to work so I forced myself to think. "No. I will get someone else to set up the tea. You're my guest... As for other guests..." I didn't really know of anyone else I'd want to come. Especially with what was happening at the castle right now and what we were all going through. But perhaps there was one other person that I'd been wanting to make more of an effort to befriend as well... "Ezalie Corzavan will also be in attendance. If... If she accepts, that is."
Gentry nodded. "Very well. I'm flattered by the offer. Thank you."
"You're welcome."
A small silence followed and I avoided her eyes in fear that if I looked up at her, I might chicken out and take the offer back. Luckily, she broke the awkward quiet before it became too long. "I believe it is almost time for the reception of the Ethira nobles, your Highness."
I nodded and, faster than I meant to, shuffled out the door. Gentry was right behind me, but we turned opposite ways in the hall.
Out of her presence, I felt myself suddenly become jittery. I'd really just done that! I'd invited her to tea and I'd be inviting Ezalie to tea as well. That is, if I followed through. But I found that even if it was uncomfortable and nerve wracking, I wanted to follow through on this. I wanted to be more affable with Gentry and Ezalie. I wanted to learn to make friends. Larklind had shown me what a benefit true friendship could have and how much they could help me grow. I didn't want to settle where I was at when I could push myself to be better.
We were all trying to be better.
I swallowed, my smile fading as a pang cut through my heart at the familiar words. Asria's words. Braz, As, and my words that we'd been trying so hard to stay true to. Could that happen now?
I wasn't sure. I just hoped that my sister came back. I didn't care if she was better. I just wanted her.
My pep lost from my steps, I eventually made it to the front hall. I was surprisingly the last one to arrive—even after Braz—and while this normally would elicit a disappointed glance from my mother, she didn't even look up. Her mind seemed quite far away.
Kartren was the first to see me and gave me a small nod. I swallowed and instead of siding up next to Braz like I normally would, I stepped up next to my eldest brother.
"How are you doing?" he asked quietly.
I let out a slow breath and instead of saying anything, I pulled him into a hug. I couldn't remember the last time I had hugged him, but I was finding that it sometimes conveyed more than words could.
He became stiff for a moment but then relaxed, wrapping one arm around my back. After a second, he spoke again. "We'll find her." And he left it at that.
I couldn't say anything in response because I didn't want to tell him I wasn't sure I believed it.
Right as I pulled away, a servant rounded the corner of the hall, bowing to Father. "Your Majesty, the watchers have seen the Ethiran party."
Father gave a sharp nod in response and started toward the large front doors. The four of us followed a few steps behind.
When we made it to the bottom of the front steps, the Ethiran carriage and guard brigade wheeled in through the front gate. Involuntarily, my eyes flicked toward the two guards who were pulling open the gate, but I couldn't see their faces from this far away. It didn't matter anyway. Even if Larklind was stationed there, it wasn't like I could go talk to him. We were about to accept the queen and prince of Ethira and start hours of meetings.
When the carriage stopped in front of us, there was a small second of still silence. I could hear my own breathing as it started to pick up pace in nervousness. Then one of the footmen stepped off the back of the carriage and grabbed the handle to the door, pulling it open. The other sided up next to it and held out his hand.
The regal queen of Ethira emerged first, her long curly dark hair flowing down her back in silky waves and her sparkling light brown eyes scanning around us with an air of grace. Her dress wasn't extravagant—white and cut fairly simply—yet it only seemed to accentuate the royal essence of her presence.
She stepped forward, approaching Mother and Father. It had been a while since I'd seen her since she rarely came to any celebrations in Austora due to how she had to reign alone so I'd forgotten how tall she was. She wasn't quite as tall as Father, but she nearly towered over Mother.
My eyes flicked behind her as another figure exited the carriage. Even if I didn't know it was Prince Varien from the few previous encounters I'd had with him, I would have been able to tell; not only did he have the same delicate features, loose dark curls, and height as his mother but his suit, while also simple, screamed money and power. Even at fourteen, he looked more royal than I ever felt I had.
"Your Majesties, Highnesses," Queen Mirellia said graciously as she curtsied.
We all returned the gesture as Father replied, "Welcome to Austora, your Majesty. Highness."
"Thank you," she said. When she looked back up at Father, her eyes seemed slightly pained. "My condolences. I was shaken to my core when I received the news of Princess Asria. I can say now that Ethira will do all we can to make sure she is recovered."
"That would be much appreciated. Please, come inside. Your apartments are prepared for you and lunch should be ready shortly."
Our group started up the steps as servants began unloading their trunks. Coincidentally, I ended up next to Prince Varien as we headed toward the castle. I shot a quick sideways glance at him and was a little intimidated to find that even at fourteen, he was much taller than me. While Asria would most likely end up a few inches taller than me, he would still tower over her when they were both grown completely. I wondered how she would feel about that.
That is, if the deal was still executed. If she was still alive to marry him.
Lunch was starting to sound as bad as breakfast had.
The seven of us entered the Dining Hall where the grand table had been set beautifully at one end. Like clockwork, we all sat in our respective places like it was instinct at this point. Generally, Mother sat at Father's left and Kartren at his right, but tradition called that Queen Mirellia sat at Father's right as the guest of honor so Kartren positioned next to Mother. The rest of us filled in around them; Prince Varien next to his mother and Braz next to him to even out the sides with me next to Kartren.
Just as we'd settled in, the doors to the kitchen opened and servants glided in with trays of our first course.
Father, Mother, and Queen Mirellia started the meal off with small talk, knowing that discussion of the more serious matters would come later. While I wanted to stay attentive and respectful by listening, the conversation was dull and my mind wandered without me meaning it to.
Just as I suspected, I was only able to scoop up a few spoonfuls of the soup that sat before me, my appetite completely absent. Even when the second course, the main part of the meal, came sweeping in, I couldn't eat more than a couple bites. It smelled wonderful as always, but I just... couldn't bring myself to eat more.
Despite this, I didn't take my eyes off my meal very many times, mostly lost to the conversation. But when I felt something hit my foot under the table, I finally glanced up. Braz, who sat directly across from me, was looking at me. At first, I wondered if someone had acknowledged me, but when I looked around, the rest of the table was engrossed in their own conversation. Turning back to Braz, I gave him a confused furrow of my eyebrows.
He tried to mouth something, but I couldn't quite tell what he was trying to say. I shook my head.
Braz cleared his throat and acknowledged the larger group. "Pardon the interruption, but I think I lost my ring in the hall. Would you mind if Saidy and I took a moment to look?" Braz shot a charming smile at Queen Mirellia. "It's a family heirloom and I'd love to show you its craftsmanship."
Like every noble always did, she smiled, susceptible to Braz's flattery. "Yes, it sounds lovely. I would love to see."
Braz glanced at Father, who was now trapped into having to give him permission to go look for the elusive ring he'd "lost" because it involved pleasing the queen.
Though Father was reluctant, he nodded. "I suppose if it's your heirloom ring then it must be found immediately before anything happens to it."
Braz slowly stood. "We'll be back quickly, your Majesty," he directed at Queen Mirellia. With a glance at me, he started toward the corridor outside the hall. I slowly stood to follow.
Braz opened the door for me and I waited as he made sure it was firmly closed behind us. Then he turned to me, his heirloom ring that he definitely hadn't lost no longer on his mind.
"What?" I asked quietly, concerned that maybe something was wrong.
"Why aren't you eating?"
Oh. So he noticed that. I shrugged slightly as I swallowed. "I'm not really hungry."
"Saids, don't lie to me," he responded gently, resting his hand on my arm.
I blinked a few times. "I... My appetite is gone. That's all. I'm fine."
"I don't believe you."
I couldn't meet his eyes. "I'm fine, Braz."
"Did you eat breakfast?"
I didn't respond, which was a response in and of itself.
He sighed, running a hand through his hair despite how it would most likely mess it up. "I know things are rough right now... But Kartren was right."
This pulled my attention again.
"We can't lay over and not keep living. And part of living is eating."
"I'm not doing it on purpose..."
"I know." He paused for a second. "But I'm already having to worry about one sister and I don't want to have to worry about you hurting too. I love you too much to let you do this to yourself."
I wasn't sure how to respond. I knew he was right. He usually was. And so was Kartren. But it was so hard to make myself do something that my emotions were affecting. And there wasn't much of a cure for these emotions until I got my sister back.
Eventually, as I wrapped my arms around my stomach, I was able to mutter, "It's just hard to get my mind to focus."
With another slow, breathy sigh, he gently embraced me. "I know. Me too. But we'll get through this. One day at a time. I'll help you, okay? Just please remember to take care of yourself."
I nodded against his collarbone.
~.✧.~
After lunch, Father allowed for an hour's rest so that Queen Mirellia and Prince Varien could get settled in before we got to business. Though I tried to take the time to calm down and prepare myself for what would be said and negotiated at the meeting, I couldn't settle. I needed to move. I needed to be outside.
So I headed toward the Greene, hoping that my comfort place could subside the unrest in both my emotions and body. But at the end of the hour, when Braz came to fetch me for the meeting, I was feeling just as bad as before, which concerned me beyond what I was willing to admit. There was rarely a time when the Greene didn't help.
The meeting was to be held in the Council Hall, where most diplomatic meetings were held. Generally, Father's council would be here for these types of things. But when Braz and I entered, the hall was exponentially lacking the twenty two advisors. Though I'd never tell Father or the Council this, I was relieved. I wasn't sure how many big crowds I could take right now.
The Council table was circular, the inside cut out to create a large curving band. Father stood behind the largest chair at the head of the room—which was always the king's seat—and quickly started the proceedings after seeing our arrival.
"I declare this international summit into commencement." With that, we all sat in our seats, preparing to start the discussion. I noticed that Father hadn't even called for the scribe; he'd simply given Kartren the task of writing all the important notes down. While this wasn't extremely uncommon, especially when the Council wasn't involved, I knew it meant there was a topic he was planning to discuss that was fairly confidential. I knew Asria's disappearance had been kept quiet to some extent, but I was sure by now most of the castle staff knew. It made me wonder if there was something else or perhaps a caveat that he was going to bring up that I hadn't been informed of yet.
I suppose time would tell.
"First order of business, I would like to discuss the arrangement of retrieving my daughter immediately," Father started off.
Queen Mirellia nodded solemnly. "As I said, I will offer any assistance needed."
"Thank you. I'd like for our Royal Commanders to converse about coordinating around the clock searches. Currently we are working as long as we can, but with our limited men, we've only been able to work during daylight hours. We'd greatly appreciate some Ethiran troops to help with night shifts and span out into further areas and villages."
"Done," the queen agreed with conviction.
"Wonderful. I'd also like to speak with your Commander. Commander Tessle, is it?"
"Yes, your Majesty. I will send him a message asking for him to hastily join you here at the castle immediately after this conference."
"Thank you. I am prepared to compensate you for your altruism."
Queen Mirellia shook her head. "No need. We are neighbors, sister countries. There is no price for our assistance. Any daughter of yours is a daughter of mine and I will not be paid to find her."
While this was a kind sentiment, one that made me grow slightly fond of Queen Mirellia, it also made me wonder what her views on the arranged marriage were. Obviously she was doing it partially out of self interest; her kingdom needed Asria in order to maintain a royal line. But she was also exuberantly explaining that there was no price for Asria, giving off the air of selflessness. Yet wasn't this arranged marriage setting her at a price? Asria in exchange for help with our Brickenfoltian issues? The lines of this agreement were just getting a little fuzzy to me.
I was drawn back into the conversation when Father moved on to the next topic. "I'd like to discuss something of slightly smaller significance." He even was able to smile. "Our annual Descendance Festival is coming up in a couple weeks and I'd be greatly honored if you would attend this year."
Mirellia looked pleasantly surprised. "That's a very generous offer. That sounds splendid, thank you. Varien, do you think this would be a good idea?"
Varien, who'd been almost completely silent the whole time he'd been at the castle, glanced up. He hesitated a moment before saying in a very soft, shy voice, "That sounds like it'd be a good experience. But..."
Queen Mirellia gently urged him to keep going, looking like she normally had to do this. I hadn't expected him to be this quiet and seemingly so unsure of himself. He was the heir, the only living piece to the Ethiran line. I expected some sense of pride in him. But I saw none at all. What I saw was something similar to what I saw in myself...
Without looking anyone in the eye, Varien continued. "I was just shocked to hear that you were still holding the Descendance Festival with Asria being missing." He glanced around a second before thinking better of it, his eyes flicking flightily back to its spot on the table. "I didn't realize it was still happening when you might be able to use the time and resources that you'd be using for the parade to find Asria."
Father sat quietly for a moment, the corner of his lip pulling up slightly. "Yes, you make a good point. But this holiday for our people is very important. And I would prefer that no one panic due to my daughter's state. By doing what we always do, it will help keep morale. Additionally, there is not much that I can do besides wait for the search parties to bring back news."
Varien nodded quickly. "Of course, your Majesty. Then I'd be honored to attend."
I furrowed my brows slightly, a little sad to see Varien shut down so easily. Braz must have had a similar thought because he interjected himself in the conversation. "I believe Prince Varien's idea is logical. Perhaps we could cut at least some of the funding for the parade and use it to expedite the process of finding Asria."
Braz's validation helped Varien seem a little less downtrodden.
Father stroked his beard a couple times before saying, "I'll look into this. For now, we have other things on the agenda."
Braz snuck Varien a small smile. Varien quickly looked away but I was grateful for Braz's intervention; I found I was liking and relating to this quiet boy more than expected and I didn't want Father to walk all over him even if that wasn't Father's intention.
Father straightened his papers in front of him, glancing at Mother for a second. She gave him a grim smile that I suppose was supposed to be reassuring. I braced myself. Over the past several years I'd been attending meetings, I knew that the hardest thing for Father to talk about was always preceded with a glance at Mother. This, perhaps, could be why there was no scribe.
"Continually, I would like to discuss the reason we were holding this meeting in the first place; Asria and Varien's marriage arrangements."
I couldn't help but glance at Varien . He had little reaction but the way he shifted ever so slightly in his seat made me wonder if he was having just as much trouble adjusting to this idea as Asria was.
Father took a deep breath and turned to Queen Mirellia. "I understand that with Asria being missing, planning for this is tentative. But I'm confident that we will find her. So... I would like to still start discussing ways to put it in writing soon."
The shock of his words felt like a slap. I wasn't sure what I was thinking, but deep down, somewhere, I'd thought he would cancel arrangements at this meeting. Even if we did find Asria, she could be physically injured and definitely mentally and emotionally damaged by the entire experience. Even a postponement seemed more feasible than continuing ahead with arrangements even as she was missing.
As always, where I couldn't express these thoughts, Braz could. "You're still going ahead with the arrangement?" he asked bewilderedly.
Father confidently replied, "Yes, if Queen Mirellia and Prince Varien are in agreement with continuing."
Braz didn't get riled up often, especially around Father, but this entire situation had been pulling the emotions out of him. "How can you do that? Asria isn't even here. And what if she's not stable enough when we recover her to go through with something like this? Are you serious?"
Father raised a brow slowly, his expression hardening. "Brazantine, I understand that stress is very high currently, but I will still hold you to the same standards as before. If you disagree with my decision, you are to respectfully explain and do it in a closed setting. Do I make myself clear?"
"Why am I here then?" he snapped. My breath stopped. Braz had never, ever, snapped at Father before.
"I suppose if you can't hold your tongue," Father responded coolly, "it would be better if you weren't."
Braz's face darkened with an angry blush. Before I realized what he was doing, he was halfway across the room and then out the door.
A tense silence pervaded the room after the slammed door's echo quit bouncing off the walls. None of us seemed to know what to say, out of shock, awkwardness, or—in Father's case—anger.
But ever the diplomat, Father continued. "I apologize for my son's behavior. As you can imagine, we have all been struggling to contain our feelings during this time."
Queen Mirellia nodded. "I understand."
As the meeting continued, a little stiffer than before, I struggled to concentrate. Time felt distorted and long, prolonging the meeting until it seemed like an entire day had passed before Father finally drew the discussions to a close. When we all stood, I was the first out the door to go find Braz.
After a long several minutes of searching, I finally found him in the library.
He sat at one of the tables, his hands in his hair and his eyes closed. I gently closed the door behind me and padded my way across the room until I was standing next to him.
I wasn't sure what to say, nor did I know if he even knew I was there from how far away his mind seemed. But I soon found a seat and said, "Father will most likely want to talk to you."
He let out a long sigh. "I know." He didn't say anything else.
I swallowed and tapped my finger tips together rhythmically. I wanted to say something else, something that would help him feel better, but he was always a better comfort to me than I was to him.
Eventually, his eyes peeled open. With the most exhausted whisper I'd ever heard him use, he said, "They're talking about an arranged marriage while she..." His gaze filled with agony. "She could be dead."
And there was nothing I could say to that.
A/N Phew welp... that was kind of intense... First of all, I'd like to say that I'M SO PROUD OF SAIDY!! Look at her getting out of her shell and inviting Gentry to tea! I'm so excited to develop Gentry and her friendship with Saidy more and I know y'all have been wanting to see more of her too! It's happeninnnnnggggg XDD Now about the second part... What are y'all's thoughts? Do you think the arrangement should still be organized? Was Braz justified in lashing out? IS ANYONE ELSE DEPRESSED BY THIS?? ... *cough* Anyway, lmk what you thinkkk >>>>>