"I did it! I locked them in the room" Jeff bezos said, catching his breath as he stood on the deck with Hillary.
The old bitch turned away from the steering wheel, a devilish grin plastered over her wrinkly face.
"Good boy, we'll get married as soon as we get off this stupid ship and for our honeymoon we'll dance on top of trump and biden's graves!" Hillary smiled, holding Jeff's hands in hers.
"Sounds perfect" he replied, gently kissing her knuckles.
Meanwhile....
"DONALD JUST TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK JUST CRASHED INTO US" Joe shrieked as he remained bound to the stripper pole.
In response Trump waddled over to the window, catching a glimpse of a huge iceberg in the distance as water flooded through a hole in the wall next to him.
"I- it's- it's a- " the human Cheeto stuttered, taken away by what he had just seen.
"WHAT IS IT" Joe exclaimed, desperately trying to slip his hands through the handcuffs.
"The ship just crashed into an iceberg... And I'm pretty sure it's starting to sink" the Cheeto admitted.
"... if we don't get out of here soon we'll sink with it" he said, giving biden a worried look.
Joe looked back at Donald with wide eyes, unable to process the information he had just received.
"You need to get out of here, it's too late for me... Please just go" he finally said, tears pooling in his eyes.
"Don't say that, you will get out of here!" Trump replied. "Please don't give up, you need to do this for us..."
"...all three of us" the orange shart mumbled, giving biden a shy glance.
"What??" Joe questioned, looking both confused and surprised.
"I.. I'm pregnant" Trump replied, clutching his fat rolls. Biden's eyes lit up as he heard those words, a look of hope and determination appearing on his face.
"Let's get the fuck out of here"
Donald took a warm shit on Joe's hands so he could escape the handcuffs, running over to the back of the room to catch speed before crashing into the locked door like a wrecking ball.
Soon enough, with the power of love, teamwork and diarrhea, trump and Biden managed to escape the room.
"We're free!" Joe exclaimed, breathless as they both ran through the water filled halls.
After taking another door down and fighting a security guard, the couple finally found themselves on the deck.... But it was too late, all the lifeboats had already been occupied.
They stood there, frozen in place. Overcome with anger and frustration as they watched the last boat sail away. On it happened to be Hillary and Jeff, who were laughing and celebrating their victory with champagne.
"What should we do now?" Trump asked, holding onto Joe's arm tightly as the ship grew more and more unstable. Soon enough all the lights turned off, making the people on the ship panic even further.
Suddenly the deck split in half under their feet, sparks flying as cables snapped like whips beneath them.
" just do what I say and we'll be okay... I promise" Joe said, grabbing Donald by the wrist and running up to the the ship railings.
They held on tightly as the ship ascended into the air, watching in horror as people slipped and plummeted to their deaths, their screams resonating through the air before hitting the freezing cold water beneath them.
Suddenly, the ship froze in place, everything going silent until it rapidly started sinking.
"Joe! we need to jump before the current pulls us under! In 3... 2... 1..." Trump counted, letting go of the railings and falling from the ship with biden.
Moments later they found themselves in the icy water, struggling to stay afloat as they searched for something to hold onto.
"Over here!" Biden exclaimed, swimming up to a door and helping Donald get on top of it, Trump struggled to balance himself on the plank of wood because of his crushing weight, making it obvious that only one of them could fit on the door.
"What about you?" Trump asked weakly, his lip quivering.
"Don't worry about me... I need you and the Baby to make it, that's all that matters" the man replied, trembling from the cold as he held Donald's hands tightly.
"No... I can't do this, not without you" Trump replied, the tears in his eyes freezing from the cold.
"You must do me this honor... promise me you will survive... that you will never give up... no matter what happens... no matter how hopeless... promise me now, and never let go of that promise" Joe said, getting weaker by the second.
"I promise daddy" trump said, Letting out an icy fart.
"Tha- That's s-so h-hot" Biden struttered as his body froze, the cold reaching his heart. Soon enough hours had gone by and Joe turned into a frozen fart popsicle before the rescue boats could finally arrive.
"I'll never let you go" Donald whispered, letting one rip in Joe's honour before letting him sink to the bottom of the ocean with the ship.
To be continued...