A/N: honestly I wasn't sure whether to keep going with Tex but may have gotten some encouragement to try it. So for now, I will try and see how it goes. Hopefully it isn't a disappointment!
When it came to the basic human senses, I couldn't help but feel as though pain deserved its own category. The Sawyers were a new level and one that I had never expected to come across. Anything from a push to a full on whipping to the back or breaking of the fingers were only some of the punishments that came hand in hand with disobeying them and as more time passed the more I felt reluctant to be on the receiving end. Their rules came with consequences, ones that often led to the youngest of the Sawyer siblings taking it upon himself to dish out but these days reality was difficult. Time was an essence which seemed to trickle one moment into another or flood but to Tex no explanation would justify the means. If I fucked up or in anyway disappointed the cannibalistic matriarch she made quick work to ensure it was something that would not happen again. This time had been no different. My back burned from the searing wounds, her mechanical like laugh from her voice box contraption. Tex never hesitated from being the punisher, if anything he stepped up each time and with glee. Cackling in delight, I braced for the next hit or at least to the extent I could. With a crack as his belt buckle collided, I couldn't help but cry out at the snap of impact. Gritting my teeth, I stayed where I was knowing better than to try and get away. It always ended up the same way, in the same location. The Sawyer's residence was a form of purgatory and they were my main if not my only source of company.
"Again." Mama instructed before he did exactly as he was told.
"How many times do we have to tell you sweetheart?" There was no escaping the excited pants that laced with the swiftness of his rhetorical question. The blonde as usual was getting off on it and had been from the minute that Mama had ordered me to bend over the hood of Tinker's truck. Alfredo's vehicle bore marks from the previous events but while he was away at the gas station they made do with the next best thing. I felt the heat, the trickle of blood that drenched the waistband of my shorts. My fingers shuddered and tapped as I gritted my teeth. Auburn strands hid my face but he didn't need to see my features, he had all of my reactions logged and saved in his brain. "I'm not hearing an answer." Too many. Or at least that was his opinion on it. The heels of his boots thudded dully against the gravel and stone coming closer and I kept my eyes shut, he always took time when having a pause during punishment where he would take in his work, this time with a shaking hand as he stroked up the broken skin. It was never shakes of fear, regret or any thoughts that would perhaps cross the mind of someone not attuned to a life like his. He lived for this pain and humiliation, it was what he got off on and this was no difference.
"What do you know not to do?" Swallowing the lump in my throat and struggling to keep in any sobs that so determinedly in my chest desperate to burst and remained still. "What do you know but you keep doing anyway?"
"I didn't...do anything." I breathed raggedly knowing that even if it was the truth, they would not believe me. These people didn't disappear into thin air. They ran into the woods wary of traps and whatever else was awaiting them.
"Hit her again, refresh her memory." Mama suggested dryly as my fists clenched struggling to find or form the words they wanted to hear. Tex clicked his tongue from behind me, his hand between my legs and getting off on the moment as a few seconds passed mauling his idea over with small hums.
"You want another little scratch?" There was nothing little about these welts. I knew that for a fact and the fact I was forced to remove my top before he unleashed this brutality showed that he was looking for length over girth this time around. "Or maybe you're enjoying this? Makes sense why you also feel the need to stick the knife in. Is that it Lori, does this get you all excited?"
"No..." I whimpered truthfully. It did anything but that.
"Then answer the question sweetheart." Tex tutted slowly, "but we both know that you'd deserve it anyway, don't we? You've been a bad girl."
"Just do it," Mama encouraged once again and firmly, losing patience that once again this was necessary.
"Again it is." He mused, shaking my head with panicked whispers I remained in the position where I was, moving would only be seen as a further act of defiance and further hurt. There were worse things than a whipping and I knew that for a fact.
"Wait." I strained keeping my thoughts on exactly that. Tinker's contraptions were never pleasurable. Tex hesitated with a small chuckle and resumed tracing the three lashes he had already inflicted. Flinching as he did, I remained adamant on finding my voice.
"I'm listening."
"Not to let them escape." I confessed, legs trembling underneath me with each passing second I felt closer to dropping as if knowing this, I felt the blonde once again close the gap between myself and him. His kneecap position between my own.
"Not to let what escape?" Tex asked, emphasising what it was he wanted to hear. Taking a deep breath, I nodded to myself, I knew exactly what he was implying and while it wasn't a term I was ever going to be comfortable in using, it was one that could prevent further harsh torment.
"The meat..." I whimpered with difficulty. The tips of his digits slowly slithered up to my neck before his fingers tightened and laced through my hair. I knew what was coming but as he pulled my head back, I couldn't contain the noise he lusted for. Hot breath fanned against my cheek as I was pulled closer against him.
"Need to speak up Sweetheart. We don't let what escape? You were being so obedient a minute ago." Grimacing as his painted fingernails clenched on my chin turning my tear stricken face in his direction, his blue eyes bore into my own. "Don't you want to be a good girl?" It wasn't a matter of good or even taking on the ideals that they held dear. It was about what came with less blows, less pain and by now just when I thought I had adapted to such feelings, they retaliated once more. This itself would only add to the scars my body now bore since having the displeasure of meeting them which felt unfortunately like an age ago and perhaps it was. Days just bled into one and none came with the promise that the situation was only temporary. Feeling my body trembled, I told myself to only focus on getting Tex to stop it was all I could do. "Being a good girl means you won't get another little hit."
"The meat." I repeated firmly after a couple of seconds of trying to find my voice and breath. Nodding his head slowly, his pink tinted lips formed a small smile of satisfaction.
"See now that's much better." Ignoring the patronising claps that Mama felt the need to do, I kept my eyes fixed on Tex as his fingers withdrew from my face and he sucked in a breath. "Tinker won't be too happy with you, get inside." Tilting his head to indicate the door, I bit my lip gently and struggled to straighten up.
"Dogs don't walk on two legs." Mama pointed out coldly.
"Well, you heard Mama." Tex said idly, "on your knees." I resisted biting back and focused on trying to block out the pain as I pushed away from the vehicle. The cuts seared and burned in discomfort and trying to adjust my weight through it all I put my hands in front of me in the dirt. Both found humour in it as I closed my eyes. It was nothing new and I tried to reassure myself of that as I fought the temptation to cry more. "Have to say I'm enjoying the view honey." Gritting my teeth furiously to myself, I was under no illusion that he was shamelessly surveilling my movements but it was impossible to go any faster, worse to argue so the only solution was to keep going and hoping that when they retrieved their 'meat' I would get some peace and be left alone for an hour or so. Any longer was unlikely, Tex always made a point of checking in no matter the precautions he put in place. I had lost track of just how many times I had escaped the household only to be snagged and bagged once more. They knew their surroundings more than I ever could and when it came to the hunt, there was also strength in numbers. Grimacing as I made it to the door, I listened to the patter of his boots behind me before feeling a light tap against my buttocks. Wincing and flinching, I listened to him sniggering. "It's like Mama knows my favourite position with you." Wrinkling my nose, I felt my stomach tighten in disgust at how he could so callously state such a thing.
The melody of screams is something I couldn't quite shake. Even in moments where I could feel myself drifting through an abyss I could still hear them. Each time it would be a different blend: men, women, children and the occasional animal, no one was spared and by now it was something that became a worse thought to follow. They'd follow me and when I opened my eyes and returned to the reality of what happened it tended to come with pain. My ignorance had a body count but there was nothing I could do to rectify that. The times I managed to help a victim never ended too well and this was a reminder of exactly that. Hearing strained cries of an elderly woman from the corner of the room, I kept my head down trying to block out the sounds of amusement that had erupted and filled the kitchen from the second Tink had returned with Alfredo, Junior and those who had gotten away only to be captured once again. They had already stripped and carved who I had presumed to be her husband and the smell of meat peeked from the oven. Auburn and now hard blood stained locks touched my skin lightly as I didn't partake in the amusement. Heather in particular was enjoying listening to details of the hunt while holding the small skeleton she used as her beloved doll closely to her chest. There was no hiding that when she was old enough, she'd be out there with them and getting close to the action. The anxiety of it happening caused my foot to tap gently against the floor trying to ignore the excruciating comfort that came from any form of movement. She had been promised her first kill soon and she saw it as the perfect birthday treat, a cause to be excited and celebrate.
"Well we can only thank our special little lady for making things a little more entertaining." Tinker's voice said simply breaking up the noise. The smell of tobacco from my left let me know that he had taken a seat during the midst of the storytelling. "Bet that sure as shit wasn't what you were hoping for." Pursing my lips, I inspected my fingers in silence instead. The marks which remained on my fingers from the breaking punishment Tex had given me some time in the past. My wrists were no better, scars from escape attempts from bonds, others from when I had attempted another way out of this situation. "No, I didn't think so."
"What'd you say though Tink, does the punishment fit the crime?" Tex's voice questioned as I twinged at the sensation of his fingers jabbing the trail of fresh wounds.
"You did a good job." The elder Sawyer commented, "you're getting there city girl. There's hope for you yet." I resisted the urge to speak back and breathed in through my nose before holding my breath. It would never be a compliment coming from them, I never wanted to be on their wavelength. "Though I doubt you are going to start making dinner any easier."
"One miracle at a time." Tex replied, "we've dealt with the talking back. Ain't that right sweetheart?"
"Daddy spoiled her, can't expect too much." Tink remarked as I closed my eyes tighter and remained still. "Slowly learning how to be a productive member of the family. Even Mama is warming up to you." Again, that was not a compliment and something that was hard to even entertain was one. The only thing worse than that was if Alfredo had started to do the same. The thought alone was sickening but whether it was boundaries or otherwise compared to how he had first been he had luckily been stepping back but I did not put it past him that if an opportunity was to arise where he could cause harm then he would be on the bandwagon. Feeling their eyes on me, my fingers tensed knowing what was coming closer with every passing second. "Go get the helmet boy."
"Was just thinking the same thing, someone's belly must be rumbling away by now."
"And-"
"And the tape, I know. Can't be putting faith in our little lady too soon." Clapping a hand to my shoulder, I flinched as the pain rippled once again, "don't want it to be too easy anyway."
"Could make it a hell of a lot easier for me though." Tink grumbled, exhaling again. "Now, do I need to give you instructions or are you going to give me the run around?" Lifting my head, I turned it slightly in the Texan's direction whose brown eyes connected with mine. "You do as you're told and heck, might give you a painkiller or two."
"She still won't do it." Heather sighed loudly jumping down from Mama's lap, a smile stretching against her lips. "She never does as she's told, if she did then uncle Tex wouldn't have whacked her again." Shaking her blonde head in her own form of scolding, Tink clicked his tongue in agreement.
"No, that's true but either way, you have to give them a chance or else they just think you're the bad guy."
"You killed my friends and my boyfriend..." My voice uttered before I could process the fact I was once more talking back.
"And now you have a better one." The young girl smirked malevolently. "One that doesn't cry."
"And one who is so much more attentive."
Tink's mouth twitched smugly and only grew more at the sounds of the whimpers which became louder. It seemed as though the older lady now knew and registered how many times people had been slaughtered before her and how nonchalantly the family felt about it. If anything it ought to be a saving grace to her that Alfredo hadn't attempted anything with her or those she had travelled with as it was Junior had taken one to the shed. Troy's face had fortunately reached its limit some time ago. Giving me one less grotesque reminder on days where I wanted nothing more than to drum out the reality that had etched in my core memories.
"You are the bad guys."
"We only killed two of 'em. That dumb bitch got herself killed." Shrugging it off, the tanned Sawyer hooked his ankle around the leg of the chair and dragged it back. Grimacing as he did, I went with it knowing that when Tex returned that it would end the way it always did.
"Whore had it coming." Mama declared maliciously. "And it did her a favour, it did. No woman enjoys time with Alfredo. They like Junior more."
"Your traps." I pointed out dryly ignoring her as Tink had another puff before breathing it to the side.
"Her lack of brain cells and awareness." He argued with a wave of his hook as Mama chuckled away. "Now, arms unless you're wanting to feed yourself."
"Saves having to blend or mash it." Tex voice stated, returning to the room as Heather skipped past him to go wash up. The unfriendly looking headpiece in his hands. "But something tells me that we ain't quite there yet." Squirming back in the seat with difficulty, the cigarette got stubbed out and cast aside before the curve of the metal hook pinned down my wrist which was closest to him. Recoiling, I turned my head sharply meeting Tex's fingers which laced in my hair and gripped tightly. The circle of tape was passed to his older brother who just sighed loudly as if it was a big chore but one he had unwittingly accepted as his own.
"One miracle at a time." Tink quoted Tex from earlier. Squirming through the pain and gritting my teeth as my arms were attached to the wood, the whimpers continued through the hooks. I couldn't help but wonder if she thought this was her fate but since the deranged family had taken me in, there had been no others kept unless it was because they wanted to draw out the demise. There were a few Tex had had problems with, ones he thought were looking where they shouldn't have been if they were caught pleading with me for help. Others to keep Alfredo company and then there were those left to bleed out for Grandpa who remained sat and heavily decaying in the sitting room. I tensed at the thought alone, there was a day that didn't go past where I relived seeing Joel laying there in a bathtub connected to funnels and bottles slowly dripping what he had left to offer. "One damn miracle at a time."
"Until then honey, just you keep on twitching." The blonde purred, the clasp of hair between his fingers tightening in warning. "Now show me your pretty teeth."
"Show horse." Mama snickered, "should put her in a show."
"Think we both know that I would get jealous." Tex replied wickedly beaming up at me as he got on his knees, free hand connected with my throat adding to the pain threshold I was already struggling to withstand. I knew what was coming as I felt my lips part from the lack of air and the familiar cold and sharp metal poking into the corners of my mouth. "Would get some colour on her though."
"So would chaining her up in the yard."
"Remember the last time we did that?" Tink interjected, "took her, what a day to get free?"
"That was only because of that geek. Think our little lady has earned some time in the sun again."
"You say that now boy, we both know if she does a disappearing act it'll be me having to find her. Gave some faith in her before when she was behaving and bit me right in the Goddamn ass."
"None of us really knew what was going on then, do we sweetheart?" Closing my eyes as they watered from the discomfort of the earlier beating and pointed hooks against my flesh, I tried to ignore what they were talking about. For a time after everything it seemed I would wake up constantly coated in the blood of another. Usually my eardrums would be pounding through the chaos of cries and pleas. Each time it would be a different blend: men, women, children and the occasional animal, no one was spared and by now it was something that became a worse thought to follow. They'd follow me and when I opened my eyes and returned to the reality of what happened it tended to come with pain. My ignorance had a body count and I could only piece together scraps of what my consciousness would allow me. I wasn't all there or perhaps I should say here it was difficult to keep track. Not that the Sawyer's residence is somewhere which I would willingly choose to be kept but days, weeks and even months had seemed to pass. Some days and memories which were my own but most of the time? It had been someone else, my body but not my actions. Sometimes the unfamiliar face would beg and cry but other times it came with them packing a wallop and having some fight. It had been a difficult feeling to shed or even trust, the paranoia swelling in my stomach like a balloon. It was why on the times I had managed to allow others to escape that I would no longer follow, I knew what I had been capable of and the fact the Sawyers found what I had done as an act worth celebrating would only make me more sick than when they forced their rendition of dinner down my throat. As far as I knew, there had been no repeats and while it left me on edge I could only hope that it was behaviour stemming from trauma.
"Now there's a beautiful smile." Tex mocked clapping my knee and grinned toothily straightening up. Tinker's hand patted my head as if in praise for having taken it so well but crying about it made no difference, they were relentless. "You really do have such a pretty little mouth now, don't ya?" I refused to humour him but turning my head was impossible when Tink had connected the helmet to the bridge of the seat. It was almost like an adult high chair when they got it all in place.
"I guess you'd know boy."
"You got that right. Not that Lori here likes to kiss and tell but me, why I could give all the gory details. Couldn't I, princess?" Closing my eyes to show my dismissal of him, his fingers stroked against my cheek before glancing over to where the lady's moans were softening as if in acceptance that nothing and no one was there to save her and as if being able to tell as much his attention focused on her. "Let's have dinner." He suggested it cruelly and slowly as if allowing her to fully piece together that she would be next. "Then maybe afterwards we can have a little looksie through their car, I like her rouge."
"I won't ask if it's for you or Lori." Tink commented as the younger of the two glanced over his shoulder to wink at me.
"I like to share, don't I sweetheart."