April 2012. 08:34. S.H.I.E.L.D's Helicarrier. Somewhere in the sky.
Third Person POV
After the shared but un-aknowledged intimate moment between Sophia and Steve, none of them felt awkward about it. It was weird, both thought as they walked through the halls, that after their "encounter" none of them seemed to be uncomfortable around the other.
It was as if it was almost... Natural, they thought. Their closeness, their nerves but also the calm they felt when being around each other, it was as if it was something they were used to. Like it was meant to feel like that.
Unbeknownst to the other, both of them shook their heads slightly, trying to get rid of the thought, both of them dismissing it completely.
Steve couldn't think of that. He knew Sophia and he appreciated everything she had been doing for him in the last 8 months, she was his friend, but having feelings for her? And not just feelings as a friend, because the thought he had when he held her close to him was anything but just friendly. He wondered why his mind had suddenly imagined those things and why his heart beat erratically at the thought of them. Why did he feel those things? Why did it feel like his whole world had stopped and the only ones in it were him and her? Why did he feel the sudden urge to just pull her close to him and never let her go? Or why did he feel the urge to just run his fingers through her hair and make her smile, looking at him with her big brown hypnotizing eyes?
He had only experienced those things with one person and it had been almost seventy years ago.
Peggy Carter.
His mind instantly pictured Peggy and Steve felt guilt consuming him. She was the only one he had ever loved and the only one he could think about. She was the only woman he had ever felt something for and that had bewitched him completely. He shouldn't be thinking of Sophia like that, because there was one and only one woman that conquered his mind and his heart and that was Peggy.
Right?
Sophia's mind was trying to play tricks on her. She has known Steve for the last eight months and she had never felt what she felt mere minutes ago. But then again, they had never found themselves in a situation like that one before. They had shared hugs, yes, but just a few. They had been standing close before, yes, but never like that. Something about the way they were, the way Steve held her and the way he looked.
His eyes were fierce and filled with determination, his sudden doubt about everything going on had ignited something in his eyes, something Sophia was eager to know what it was. She had felt her knees going weak by the way he looked at her.
She had been pressed between the wall and his body and she could feel the heat radiating off of him, his enhanced senses and qualities because of the serum made his body, somehow a lot warmer than the average body. Or so Sophia assumed. That was the only logical explanation to her.
What she couldn't pinpoint was why did she feel her heart flutter at his touch? It was like their bodies had sparked with electricity at the contact and it made her stomach swarm with butterflies. The closeness of his face and the urge she felt to run her hand through his hair and relax his frown, made her question her entire existence.
She hadn't felt something like this since Michael. And just as she thought of him, her heart hurt. She felt like she was betraying the memory of her late fiancée by starting to feel things for the Captain. She felt like it was too soon and it was wrong. So she decided from then on, to do what she did best.
She pushed the feelings aside and the thoughts of Steve, discarding them completely. She decided to forget about them, because for starters they were not even there, not even real. It had been the heat of the moment.
Steve was nothing more than just a great friend that Sophia cared for deeply, and that's it. Nothing else.
As they walked, Sophia decided to break the strangely comfortable silence.
-Are you going to tell me where we're going?.- She asked as she turned to look at Steve with a raised eyebrow.
-You have questions and so do I, and I think the best way to answer them is search for something.- Steve answered looking at her and then glancing back, making sure no one was following.
-And that something is...- Sophia trailed off and Steve smiled a little.
-We'll know when we see it.- He answered, looking at Sophia and she just rolled her eyes mockingly.
Being around each other was comforting, but the comfort started to fade as soon as they reached a hallway Sophia had never been to. Her eyebrows scrunched in confusion at the name of the door.
Secure Storage 10-C
She was sure she had been to every single storage room in the Helicarrier, but this one, oddly enough, she never had. Steve turned to look at her and she shrugged.
Even though Sophia had the required level of clearance to open the door, she couldn't do it, mostly because if she did, they'd know she had been snooping around in the things they had been trying so hard to hide from her.
Steve knew this and he also didn't want to risk Sophia to do something like that and put her on the line, so he decided to do one of the best things they had taught him while in fighting Nazi Germany.
Break in.
Steve took a step to the front and positioned his hands on each side of the door, then he pulled. At first, Sophia (wrongly) doubted that he could open the door, for it would require a lot of strength, but when the hinges of it creaked, and maybe even broke, she knew he had done it. Once Steve managed to open the door completely, he turned to look at her. Just when she was about to cross the door, he laid a hand in front of her, blocking her way.
He decided to go in first, so if anything or anyone came to them, he might be able to protect her. Once again, he was very well aware that she didn't need protection. Even though he had never really seen her in action, he knew she was capable of breaking someone in just one step, but the sudden birth of feelings unknown and still foreign to him, urged him to do so.
Sophia looked at him and at his arm and even though a part of her wanted to be annoyed at him for doing it, the other part was slightly grateful and her heart fluttered just a little. As these thoughts came to mind, she thought it to be the worst timing for them.
Steve and Sophia made their way inside, turning around to make sure no one was following. As they walked further, they looked around the place. Boxes were lined up on both sides of the hallway, their eyes roamed the room, eying the different loads and metal containers that filled the place. Sophia walked in front of Steve and halted in her steps at the sound of voices in the distance. She placed her left hand on Steve's chest, stopping him in his tracks. He turned to look at her and with her chin, she pointed to the guys walking the platform above. Steve's eyes moved to the top and gave a nod.
After making sure they couldn't be seen, they walked to the side. Sophia had no idea what Steve was thinking, but as he took a small run, he leaped on top of the boxes and then jumped on the other bridge above them. She looked at him with an unamused look, like saying "are you kidding?". Steve was about to help her up, but then he saw her jump on the box and then swiftly on the bridge beside him, landing gracefully and softly, her landing barely making a sound as her feet touched the ground.
He looked at her with raised eyebrows and she shrugged with a small smirk.
-What? You're not the only agile person in the room.- She said as she started walking in front of him. A small smile wanted to pull at his lips, and with one small shake of his head, he followed her.
Sophia and Steve walked around surveying the boxes. Sophia took the pile on the right and Steve the left. She had assumed that these boxes just contained weapons and ammo, tools, stuff, maybe a few gadgets and things they might use in general. But as Steve called her over, she realized she was mistaken. Before she could open a box herself, Steve called her name.
Walking towards him, she saw him lifting the lid and looking directly inside the box. His eyes were stone cold, his jaw was clenched and his hands were gripping the edges of the box so tight, Sophia thought he might dent them. As she stood beside him, her eyes widened, a frown painted in her face and her lips parted slightly.
Inside of the box were none other than weapons.
HYDRA weapons.
Steve started breathing heavily as his eyes scanned the contents of the box. His heart dropped to the ground and he felt nausea taking over him. His fist gripped the box so tight, he was sure a little more pressure was either going to dent it or break it. Fury started to pool inside his stomach and his chest was starting to tighten.
Sophia's mind was running a hundred miles per minute right now. Was this it? Was this the secret everyone had been hiding from her? Was this what Fury kept from her for months? That they had HYDRA weapons in their possession? Sophia knew what Hydra was. She always did. She knew everything, because of her father, because of aunt Peggy, because of Pierre, because of Nick. She knew what Hydra meant and seeing S.H.I.E.L.D with their weapons was something Sophia didn't understand.
Were they the bad guys? Was SHIELD now what Hydra used to be years ago?
Then as if building a puzzle, the final piece was placed, the puzzle completed, making everything make sense.
The Tesseract.
The Hydra weapons.
The secrets.
S.H.I.E.L.D experimenting with the Tesseract.
It was like 1945 was repeating itself all over again, and now this time, Sophia was alive to see it. To live it. And unfortunately, Steve was living it all over again. Her heart instantly ached for him, everything he fought for, was that in vain?
S.H.I.E.L.D was going to use the Tesseract for weapons of mass destruction. For dangerously, lethal weapons. Weapons that they acquired from Hydra, nonetheless.
Sophia's breath, unlike Steve's deep and heavy breaths, was quick. At any moment, she was sure she might start hyperventilating. She turned to Steve and saw his change in mood, the way his whole body tensed and the way his features became cold, his eyes filling with anger. Since her guard was always down while around him, her reflexes failed to act the moment Steve, for the second time in the day, grabbed her by the shoulders and slammed her body (for the second time as well) against the wall.
A surprised gasp left her mouth and for a moment, while looking into his rage filled eyes, Sophia's eyes looked at them with an emotion Steve had never seen in her face while looking at him.
Fear.
Sophia, even if it was just a second, a small fraction of one, felt fear as she looked into his eyes. A flame consumed them, one Sophia had never seen. This was not the Steve she knew, that was for sure. But even as he dug his fingers in her sleeveless arms, pressing her skin with such force, Sophia couldn't find it in herself to be mad at him. Because even though she had no idea what this must feel like for him, she saw it, she felt him.
She could feel the rage and anger pulsing through his veins, she could feel the betrayal that his heart was starting to feel and the way it started to pull in it, making it ache and the sudden sadness and disappointment in him at what he had found, the feeling of being lied to.
She couldn't find it in herself to hold his actions against him, no matter how much she tried.
Steve saw the way she was looking at him, he saw the flash of fear coming and going from her eyes in just a millisecond, but still he saw it. Something inside his heart was asking him to stop, to let her go, but the anger burning in him was too much.
-Did you know?.- He asked, his voice so cold, it sent Sophia a chill running down her spine. Sophia flinched at the tone and with that sole action, it was like Steve came back from a trance. He loosened his grip but never let go. Calming his voice, he spoke again. -Did you know of this?.- He asked, softly this time.
Sophia's temper changed and instead of being mad, she was hurt. How could he think that she knew of this? How could he even believe that she, out of all people, had anything to do with it? Then, of course, she was working for the organization that had Hydra weapons hidden in their storage room so it kind of made sense.
But the accusation snapped something in Sophia, making her turn on one of her many masks.
-Do think that if I had known, I'd be as surprised and upset as you? Or that I wouldn't have told you?.- She said, her voice now as cold and emotionless as Steve's. Steve frowned and almost flinched at her tone. -You think that I would've been upset over them lying to me all these months if I had known? Or that I would've allowed Tony to hack into the system, just so he could find out everything that had been going on?.- She asked, hurt dripping from her voice.
Steve looked at her and narrowed his eyes. He believed her, of course he did. Because she had been the only person in the last 8 months to tell him everything. Since the day they met. He knew that making false accusations about her trust towards him was not the way to go, he knew it.
Because he knew he would be hurting her. But now, more than ever and after finding these, he had to be sure.
-I don't know. They all taught you how to lie, didn't they?.- He asked but as soon as the words left his mouth, he regretted it. He saw pain filling Sophia's eyes and for a moment he wished to take it back, for he knew that was a low blow.
And he had no idea how much it hurt her to hear those words coming from his mouth.
Sophia tried not to show him how much it hurt her. Setting her face blank, she looked him directly in the eye. -I'm not lying, but if you want to believe me or not, that's on you.- She said and even though they weren't hurtful words, Steve felt like they stabbed his heart. -But you have to know one thing.- She said, making a pause. -I'm not the enemy.- Her voice was soft but at the same time strong and menacing. She lifted her arms and swatted his away, removing his grip.
Steve's eyes travelled down her arms and he saw red marks starting to form in them from the hold he had in them just mere seconds ago. Guilt started washing over him and his heart sank at the sight.
Both of them had no idea what had happened. It was like for a moment, both were blinded by anger and distrust. They had no idea how they went from sharing a moment, an intimate at that, mere minutes ago, to almost fighting each other just a few seconds prior. It was as if they had a switch going on and off, turning their fighting instincts a second and then turning them off the next.
They stared into each other's eyes for a moment. All of that rage and anger, the hurt, had vanished. But the tension, that hadn't been there before, was starting to build between them, it was as if this little moment had been the wine drop that stained the white cloth, and now, it was spreading, staining the connection between them.
A voice coming through Sophia's comms made her turn her gaze away from him.
Steve looked at her and then his eyes moved to the box.
-We need to go, someone might come.- Sophia said and Steve nodded. Before he left, he grabbed one of the weapons and took it with him. Sophia looked at him and nodded, turning back around and making her way back to get some explanations.
The walk to the lab was silent, the only sound present was the one their feet made as their boots made contact with the floor and the distant chattering of agents walking down other halls.
Steve wanted to say something. It was not like him to act that way, and he hoped Sophia knew that. He had no idea what came over him, but he assumed it was anger at seeing Hydra weapons in possession of the same people, or agency, that once destroyed them.
His mind couldn't shake off or remove the image and memory of Sophia's eyes shining with fear one moment and then flinching away from him the other. He didn't want to be that person, not to her. He didn't want to taint the image she had of him and much less like that, because he was not like that. He swore to never be that kind of guy, since he was little. Turning to his right, he eyed the girl beside him and his eyes instantly ran down her arms. A tinge of red and purple started to colour her skin and guilt gnawed at him once again. The bruises he caused.
-I'm sorry.- The words left his mouth in a small whisper and if it hadn't been for the silence reigning over them, Sophia might've not been able to hear it.
She knew he was sorry, she felt it, because for the second time in the day, it was as if his feelings were pouring from his pores. She knew he was sorry, she knew he was not that kind of man, and a part of her knew that if the roles had been reversed, she would've acted the same way. Maybe worse.
But still, what he said, about her knowing how to lie, that hurt her. Because out of all the people she has lied to in her life, Steve had never been one of them.
-I know.- She said, without turning to look at him. Steve frowned. Her voice was soft and for a moment, Steve found a tinge of what felt like, understanding? In it. Steve couldn't really comprehend how Sophia was so understanding at the moment.
Of course, she might've just been saying it to leave everything behind and not talk about the topic but the tone of her voice was so sincere, that he doubted she was just saying it just to avoid conflict. Still, Steve was amazed at her ability to find forgiveness in things that, to his perspective, didn't deserve it, at least not right away.
-Sophie, for real, I'm really, really sorry.- Steve said, stopping in the hallway, causing Sophia to do the same.
Sophia looked at him and knew he meant it. She knew that it was a sincere apology, and even though she forgave him, a part of her couldn't stop thinking of his words.
"I don't know. They all taught you to lie, didn't they?"
Sophia turned to look at the Captain and the first thing she saw in his eyes, aside from the anger and rage that was still swimming in them, was regret, regret at what he said and did.
She had no idea why it suddenly felt as if she was able to feel, see and decipher every emotion that was coming from the man, but she did, and that helped her to know how honest he was being. Giving him a small smile, she nodded.
-I know, Steve. I know you are. I'm sorry too.- Sophia said placing a hand on Steve's bicep, but before she could continue, she saw Nick's figure walking inside the lab. -But now, we have more important things to attend to and answers to get.- She said, jotting her chin towards where Nick was walking.
Steve nodded and now, with a newfound determination, the pair made their way to the lab, where they found Nick talking to Tony and Bruce.