After Theo dropped me off back home, I went inside, washing off the makeup in my bathroom. The ramen had wiped most of my lipstick off, anyway, and even some of the foundation. Pausing, I thought back to the restaurant and knew why Theo had suggested it. Not only was it private, with booths hidden behind tapestry curtains, but it also had delicious food. I'd eaten everything we ordered and could have eaten more. Even Theo had seemed to have a large appetite with how many appetizers he ordered to begin with.
I smiled at the memory, and it grew when I thought about how he paid for everything, refusing to let me pitch in, because I'd offered to pay next time.
Next time.
I'd already forgotten my agreement with myself to lay off Theo...unless I could calm my heart down.
I hopped online to distract myself from my thoughts, excited to see that Levi was on early. "Hey!" I greeted him as I popped onto Discord with him.
"What's up?" he responded, and I could hear the clattering of his mechanical keyboard through his mic. "I'm doing some solo queue."
"Just got back," I told him, logging into League. I checked his match time, seeing it was close to fifty minutes. "Holy crap. Close game?"
"Kind of."
I decided not to distract him anymore, clicking over to the website where I posted my books. Soon, I'd need to start working on a new book. I'd finished my old ones to give myself a little time off to get used to working on set, but I was feeling the itch to write again. Especially with all the lovely comments my readers left me as I scanned over my profile and direct messages.
The idea of writing a romance with an actor as the lead popped into my head.
I clicked off the website. Nope. Not going there.
"Done," Levi said after a few more moments. "Damn, that was crazy. We won, though."
"Nice," I replied, seeing an invite ping on my screen.
"You want in on this?"
"Sure," I said just as my phone lit up with a call. My stomach rolled as I realized it was my mom. "Hold on...my mom is calling."
Levi sucked in a short breath of air. "Oh no. Good luck."
I pushed my headset down so it hung around my neck and answered the call, putting my phone to my ear. "Hello?"
"Maisie, I'm going to come visit you tomorrow."
I sat up straighter in my chair. "What?"
"I haven't seen you in weeks. I need to make sure you're staying healthy."
"I'm fine," I told her, racking my brain for what groceries I had in the fridge. Ice cream, Lunchables, frozen pizza... Nothing that could be considered healthy and nothing that wouldn't cause my mom to freak.
My mother sniffed. "I'll see that for myself."
"Mom, I'm busy tomorrow."
"With what?"
"I have a double," I lied. "Overnight."
I could almost feel her disappointment in her response. "Since when do you work on Sunday? You told me your schedule was four days during the week and three off including the weekend."
I figured I'd regret telling her a fake schedule one day, but I already had the next lie prepared. "I took a coworker's shift."
"Just for tomorrow?"
"Yes."
She sighed. "Don't overwork yourself, Maisie. I know being a nurse isn't easy."
"It's fine," I responded, getting the same anxious feeling I always did when I had to lie. "I don't mind."
"You don't mind it?" she repeated, and I instantly knew it was the wrong thing to say. "Some of my friend's daughters still work in retail. Be happy we encouraged you to go to college and actually do something with your life."
"Retail is still doing something with your life," I pointed out, but my heart felt like it was in my throat like it always did when I voiced my disagreement with my mom.
"You're doing more, though. You're helping people. You have a respectable profession," she said. "You get up and go out and work."
"Any job is respectable, Mom."
"If we hadn't pushed you, you'd still be living at home, working on those books you used to write."
What's wrong with that? I wanted to ask, but I bit my tongue. "Don't you want me living at home?"
"Yes, so you can save up for a house."
"But people who struggle to afford rent should be ashamed to live at home?" I said before I could stop myself. "In other countries, people stay with their parents until they get married."
My mom let out a hard huff of air. "Maisie, I don't understand why you get so worked up. It's not like you're living that kind of life."
But I had. Back when I first moved out.
But I couldn't say that to her.
"Mom, I have to go. I need to sleep since I'll be at work all day and night tomorrow."
"Fine. I'll see you soon. I love you."
"Love you, too," I muttered before hanging up the phone.
I leaned back in my chair, rubbing my hands over my face. Although I knew better to argue with my mom, to make her suspicious of me in any way, sometimes it still slipped out. And now I would worry about the conversation until I talked to her next, and made sure she didn't infer anything from it.
It was this attitude, too, that held me back from coming clean to her and the rest of my family. I didn't want to lie anymore. I hadn't wanted to lie, to begin with. But I felt like I had no choice back then when I wanted to follow my own dreams, and even now, I was too afraid of my family's reaction.
Mood soured, I put my headset back on. "Sorry."
"Your mom?" Levi guessed.
"Yeah."
"You okay? I know talking with her sets off your anxiety."
I selected my usual role of ADC in the game client, watching as Levi swapped his to support. The anxiety left my chest feeling tight. "Yeah. There's not much I can do about it, though."
"There will be soon. Your movie will be a success," he encouraged. "Then you can show up to your parent's house in a limo, and I'll roll you a red carpet up to the front door, and then they'll have no choice but to admit that your dreams were achievable after all."
"A limo and red carpet will do that? We could do that right now if that were true," I pointed out, but a smile slipped onto my lips.
I could imagine him pursing his lips. "You know what I mean, Maisie. Bring your published books and awards. Bring the cast of your movie."
"I don't know any of them that well. Besides, I think that'd be a little weird."
"I'm sure some of them wouldn't mind," he said. "You should ask."
Sometimes Levi was too optimistic. Besides Theo, I'd barely talked to anyone on set. "Your imagination is great. You should be a writer. Start the queue."
A second later, the queue popped up. "I'm getting the hint you don't want to discuss this right now," he deduced. "But you know that when you finally tell your family your anxiety will ease up, right?"
"I know," I responded. Of course, I knew that... It just wasn't that easy. Even if it seemed like it would be to people outside the situation. But I knew Levi understood my feelings about it— he just wanted to help. I just wasn't ready. "Let's just game."
*
Per usual, Levi and I stayed up way too late gaming. The bags under my eyes were no joke the next morning when I woke up, even though I slept in. I knew Kaila would be able to work her magic to cover them, but I felt bad for not even attempting to go to bed early. I showered, spending more time than usual, making sure every inch of my skin was as clean as possible, and that my legs and armpits were smooth. Normally I didn't care whether or not I shaved, seeing as body hair was a personal choice, but I did have to admit, the smoothness felt nice sometimes.
I slipped into a pair of jeans and a hoodie, combed out my hair, and then brushed my teeth. My skin felt dry, so I put on a mask before doing my skincare, hoping to have a good base for Kaila. As I stared at myself in the mirror, I realized I was a lot less anxious about the award show than I thought I'd be. Maybe it was because of how different I looked with the wig and heavy makeup. I knew there was little to no chance of ever being recognized, which meant I didn't have to worry about it all night. I could just enjoy the show—and that thought made me excited.
I usually constantly felt like I was on edge, worrying that my lies would be found out, even just while going to the grocery store. My parents lived over an hour away, but I still thought I would run into my mom while shopping during a time she believed I was at work. That feeling never stopped and was part of the reason I usually just stayed at home. But knowing I would have a disguise swept that all away. I'd actually be able to relax while out and about—all while be glammed up on top of it. I'd probably never get another chance like this.
I decided to busy myself with giving my apartment a cleaning, afraid if I didn't keep myself distracted, the anxiety would settle back in. Theo's publicist called me during it, explaining what I believed were some common-sense rules for the red carpet, like watching my language, my body language, following Theo's lead, and so on. I listened, but my game plan was to avoid drawing attention to myself, anyway, so I didn't think I would be putting myself in the position to have to take her advice.
When the time finally came for Theo to pick me up, I grabbed the dress and heels from my closet and placed them on the kitchen table, afraid I'd forget them when he arrived. My phone lit up with a text from him just as I did so, letting me know he'd arrive in ten minutes. I replied with a thumb's up emoji, and spent the time until his arrival scrolling on my phone, feeling a little jittery.
I saw Theo's car pull up from my window and headed out before my phone alerted me of his text. Rowan sat in the driver's seat as I approached the car, with large sunglasses on her face, red lips curved into a frown. Once she caught sight of me, a smirk graced them, and she rolled down the window. "Hop in the back."
I didn't know how, but she could make anything sound like an insult. "Hello to you, too."
She ignored me, and I heard the locks click as she unlocked the back doors. I opened the driver-side back door, hanging my dress from the hook above the window, and adjusting it so it laid out as straight as possible. I then closed the door and went around to the other side of the car, sitting behind Theo, who sat in the passenger's seat.
"Hi," I greeted him, putting my seatbelt on.
Our eyes met through the rear-view mirror. "Hey."
Rowan took off the minute my seatbelt clicked, and I jolted back against the seat. She drove like race car driver. I suddenly wondered how many times she'd been pulled over. Instead of asking, though, I just kept my eye on the speedometer, not afraid to say something if she drove too fast. Reckless driving wasn't okay. But despite her rough starts and stops, she only just barely went over the speed limit, followed all rules of the world, and handled Theo's car easily.
Today she wore a black suit and a white undershirt, dressed for once like how I thought an actual bodyguard would dress. Theo, on the other hand, wore a simple black t-shirt, not dressed for the event yet.
None of us said anything, but the quiet didn't feel awkward. Theo was probably used to Rowan's driving, but it made me a little car sick. That wasn't all on her, though. Even when I was younger I would get car sick if I sat in the back. I'd almost forgotten about it since it'd been so long since I'd driven with anyone else, let alone enough people to have to sit in the back.
"Can we roll down the window?" I asked, putting a hand to my mouth as nausea crept up my throat.
Rowan glanced back at me and then did a double-take. "You good? You're pale as hell."
"A little carsick."
"Pull over," Theo instructed Rowan.
"You don't need to pull over—" I started, but Rowan had already put the blinker on and pulled to the side of the road.
Theo climbed out of the car and opened my door, gesturing for me to get out. "I'll sit in the back."
"You really don't have to," I replied, noticing he wore grey sweatpants, and this was my first time seeing him dressed so casually.
He made everything look good.
"The front seat should help," he told me, stepping back so I could swing my legs out, and get up.
"Thanks," I mumbled, our arms brushing as I moved to get into the front seat.
Theo said nothing as he got back into the car, putting his seatbelt on. I took a few heavy breaths of fresh air before sitting back down. Rowan cracked the window for me, and we took off again. Now sitting up front, awkwardness settled in. Theo had to sit in the back seat of his own car because of me.
"I get carsick, too," Rowan said, and I wondered if she said it to make me feel better.
She had one hand on the steering wheel, and my gaze was drawn to her nails. They were blood rid at the tips and black at the base, with the nail on her ring finger all matte black. "I like your nails."
"Thank you. I did them myself."
She sounded proud of herself, and it made me smile. "I've never gotten my nails done. When they grow too long I have trouble typing on my keyboard, so I can't imagine having them that long."
"You can get short ones done," she told me, putting her other hand on the steering wheel so she could show me her nails more properly. "I can do them for you."
That was surprisingly benevolent of her. "That sounds fun."
"As long as you don't screw over Theo tonight."
Theo sighed. "Rowan. There's no way for her to mess it up."
"Yeah, I'm just going to keep my mouth shut, and try to look pretty," I told her. "Easy."
Rowan's eyebrows raised. "Kaila can't perform miracles, Maisie."
"What..." Confused at first, I stared at her, until I realized she was making a joke about my looks. "Wow."
She grinned at me. "Just kidding. You just set these things up so well."
"Uh-huh."
"I mean, if all else fails, we can just resort to that paper bag, right? This time for your head."
Now that I was getting more of a feel for Rowan, her jokes didn't annoy me, and I could actually find the humor in them. "I'll keep that in mind. But just so you know, you're going to be shocked when you see me after Kaila is done."
"Want to place bets?"
"What do you want to bet?"
Rowan thought about it for a minute. "How about the loser has to buy the other person drinks tonight after the show? You are old enough to drink, right?"
"I'm twenty-four," I said, eyeing her. "And you're on."
"Still a baby."
"Well, how old are you?" I demanded. She barely looked any older than me, yet called me a baby?
"Twenty-eight," she answered smugly.
I gave her a dead stare. "You're barely older than me."
"Still older."
"Twenty-eight and still acting like this."
Now she scowled a bit, and I smirked, happy to have won one of our trades. I glanced in the rear-view mirror, and I swear Theo was grinning a bit, too. I already knew Theo's age— I'd googled it back when he was cast in my movie. He was also twenty-eight. I also knew other facts about him, like how he'd attended a theatric arts elementary school in South Korea before his family moved to the United States. I knew the town he was born in, the town he moved to with his parents, and the town he settled in where he now lives alone. There was other information, too. The internet had all kinds of information about celebrities.
However, I hadn't learned any of that from Theo himself. "How old are you, Theo?" I asked.
"Same age as Rowan," he answered, staring out the back window. "But I'm technically older. I'll be turning twenty-nine in December."
"You always have to point that out, don't you?" Rowan said, clicking her tongue.
"Yes. Just like you used to always point out that you were taller than me...until you weren't."
She made a face at Theo in the rear-view mirror. "Yeah, yeah."
"Aren't you tall for a girl?" I asked her. "Sometimes I wish I was just an inch taller."
"I used to be an inch taller," Rowan replied distractedly, focused on the road as we entered the downtown area.
Confused, I glanced at her. "You lost some of your height?"
She didn't answer, slamming on the brakes as a group of teenagers shot out in front of us to cross the road. She laid on the horn and flipped them off, and they at least had the decency to look embarrassed about their actions, waving an apology back at us. I decided to cut the small talk and let her concentrate knowing how annoying it was to drive down here.
We arrived at the beauty bar, and the same receptionist as before led us to the private room in the back where Kaila was waiting. She wasted no time in getting to work, already knowing the plan from yesterday. I didn't try to make small talk today, just letting her work. Once the make-up was finished, Kaila instructed me to change into my dress.
"I need help with it," I said, turning to Rowan, feeling more comfortable with her than Kaila. "Rowan?"
"Didn't Theo help you last time?" she responded, not taking her eyes off her phone.
I felt a blush cross my cheeks, but Theo didn't have any reaction, only glancing at her for a moment from where he sat next to her. "Never mind. I'll be right back."
Kaila showed me to a smaller room attached to the main one where I quickly slipped into my dress before having her zip up the back. For some reason, Rowan's reaction hurt my feelings, even though I was slowly getting used to her attitude. Was she upset that Theo had helped me? Why? She hadn't been anywhere in sight. Was it possible she liked Theo?
The thought hit me like a brick. I didn't know why I'd never considered it before. There was a chance she liked him—and there was a chance that Theo liked her, too. They were always together. And if that were true, I did not stand a chance. Rowan would be anyone's first choice.
A little putout, I didn't feel the same excitement I did the first time I saw my reflection my make-up done. I knew my thought process could be wrong, but if it were true, I didn't want to overstep. I was basically an interloper to them, only here to help Theo out in exchange for him keeping my secret.
Kaila applied my wig with ease, and when she was done, I once again stared at a stranger in the reflection of the mirror. A spark of excitement lit inside me again. Right. I wanted to enjoy tonight. I wouldn't overthink anything.
Standing from the chair, I adjusted my dress, not used to the look of fabric clinging to my skin, making me look slenderer than my baggy hoodies ever did. I slipped into the shoes for the extra effect before making my way over to Theo and Rowan, adjusting myself to my full height. They sat close together—so close I knew they moved their chairs to have the least amount of space between them possible—watching something on Rowan's phone together.
I wasn't sure if it was because my recent thought process, or maybe I'd just been blind before, but Rowan and Theo really did seem intimate with each other. Theo held none of the tense posture he held around others, even being that near to her. Rowan smiled at something Theo said, a genuine, non-sarcastic smile.
I hesitated a moment before making myself press forward. I still had a bet to win against Rowan. I stopped in front of her, clearing my throat.
Her head snapped up, eyebrows furrowing for a moment as she stared at my midriff, her gaze taking in my dress as she slowly raised her eyes to meet mine, her mouth falling open as she did so. "Holy fuck."
Her response had me smiling, my earlier hurt gone. "So? What do you think?"
"I think I owe you a drink," she replied, checking me out again.
My smile grew.
"And it turns out Kaila can perform miracles," she added, making Kaila laugh.
My lips dropped into a scowl before I decided to be content in winning our little bet, letting the joke slide. "I do owe this all to Kaila. Thank you again for your help," I said, turning to Kaila again. "Your work is amazing."
She grinned at us, cleaning up her make-up station. "Aw, thanks, you two. It was really fun! And you look really great, Maisie. I hope you guys have a great time tonight!"
Theo stood from his chair, leaving little space between us, and I stepped back to give him room. "It's a shame you'll be avoiding photos," he said. "I think you'd make the front page."
I glanced at Rowan, unable to stop myself from wanting to know her reaction to his compliment, but she just stared at me, oblivious to my curiosity. Still, now I felt a little uncomfortable with Theo's words. Did they make Rowan feel bad? I faced Theo again, offering a small smile. "Best to be safe, though, and avoid any photos."
"Want me to take a picture of you guys?" Kaila offered.
"Sure," Rowan said before Theo or I could answer. "You put so much effort into this, might as well."
I moved back again as Rowan got off her chair, gesturing for me to follow her to part of the room that had a bare wall. The idea of taking a photo with Rowan and Theo felt kind of awkward, but I had to admit, I did want to keep this as a memory. Kaila took my phone from me and I was more comfortable knowing the photos would at least be on my phone. Rowan came to stand on my left while Theo took his place on my right.
"I'll take a few," Kaila said. "Smile!"
I forced a smile on my face, feeling stiff, reaffirming my decision to avoid all photos at the award show. I was too awkward for it.
Kaila took a few photos before frowning at us. "Can you guys act more natural? Put your arms around each other, or something."
Theo hesitated a moment before putting an arm over my shoulders, not quite touching me, but reaching across to rest his hand on Rowan's back. Rowan mimicked his pose, leaving me in the middle, unsure of where to put my arms. They both moved in, their bodies pressing against my sides, making my heart jump.
"Maisie, put your arms around their waists," Kaila instructed.
I did as I was told, but didn't put my hands on either of them, just hovered over their waists. Kaila took a few more photos, and the minute she lowered my phone, I shot forward to collect it.
"They came out great!" she said as I took my phone back.
I didn't even bother looking at the photos, locking my phone, and keeping it in my hand. "Thanks."
"I won't hold you guys back any longer. Have a good night!"
As we left the beauty bar and headed back to Theo's car, I felt self-conscious about all the people looking at us. We definitely stood out, especially since Theo was dressed so nicely, but was also wearing a cap and a mask. I found it hard to walk in heels on the pavement, and had newfound awe for Rowan, who wore heels more often than not.
"So, when are we going to meet up with your parents?" I asked Theo when we finally made it back to his car. He let me sit in the front seat, opening the door for me. "After the show?"
"No," he answered. "Right now."
Author's Note:
I don't know why, but I am so bad at getting to the point in chapters... lol. Is anyone else like this?