"Althea, I'm sorry."
The voice seemed to follow me as I walk through a long corridor. I couldn't remember how I got here but I felt tired, like I had been running and the adrenaline in my body had drained me and it felt like I was trudging through thick mud. My legs barely moved, my lungs burned from effort.
It didn't matter though because through the haze in my mind, I knew I had to get to the end of this corridor.
I had to.
As soon as the thought passed my mind, the large white double-door with golden handles that had been at the end of the corridor moved and stopped right in front of me.
This was it. I thought before swallowing thickly against the lump in my throat.
I reached out to turn the knob but as soon as I did, the door moved away again, like a game of cat and mouse; white washed walls stretched like latex and even the painting on them seemed to deform along with the patterns on the carpeted floor.
The door stops almost a hundred meters away from me.
"Althea..."
There it was again, that voice. At first I thought it had been Wila's but the longer I listened to it the more I realized that it was someone completely different. The voice sounded so foreign yet familiar. A stranger's voice that felt like...
Like home.
A sudden burst of light shined along the edges of the door and I could see shadows behind it, "Hello?" I called out. "Is anybody there?" Out of nowhere, the woman's gentle voice turns harsh with a warning, "You need to go! They might see you!"
Instead of scaring me away, I felt my feet begin to move towards the door. My heart thumping violently against my chest as my brisk walk turns into full sprint towards it. I could feel it. Something was there. Something important. I needed to get through that door and get it.
I manage to get within a few feet before my feet begin to lose traction, my shoes hitting the carpeted floor rapidly but not really getting me anywhere. Still, I kicked, scratched and jumped against the invisible force that was seemingly stopping me from reaching my destination; pushing my body to it's absolute limit. After a few moments of struggling against the invisible wall, it was like a string was suddenly cut from around my torso, arms and legs and I drop back on solid ground. After taking in a breath, I took off running towards the door then wildly slamming my shoulder against the door.
The wooden barricade flies open and I manage to register the bright sky and the rocks at under me as my momentum carried me to the edge of a high chasm.
I manage to stop my feet just before I could run myself off the seemingly bottomless cliff, "Whoa..." I breathe, my hands swinging lightly in order to keep me balanced on the crumbling edge of the rock face.
Despite the situation I wasn't scared. I didn't feel afraid. The darkness of the chasm seemed different, it wasn't black. It wasn't a shadow. It looked like dark, glossy pools of melted chocolate.
As I stare into the abyss below the cliff, an overwhelming feeling of joy blossoms in my chest. Like a warm embrace in a cold night. Like invisible arms had wrapped around my whole body, slowly, gently pulling me away from the safety of the ground.
It starts off as a speck of warmth before quickly engulfing my chest and, shortly after, my entire being. It was like I wanted to jump, like I knew it was safe to jump despite the fear I felt because of the unknown.
"You're an idiot." someone says from behind me.That voice, that one I'd recognize anywhere.
"Don't listen to her." another voice, one I was very familiar with, adds and I snap my attention to where the two people were.
There, side by side, was Wila and... me?
"What if she's right?" I ask, motioning to Wila who had on an annoyed expression; seeing nothing odd about talking to myself.
The girl that looks and sounds exactly like me simply shrugged, "If you want something you'll never have... you'll have to do something you've never done." The version of me says before leaping forward and pushing me off the chasm. I felt like I was flying as my feet left solid ground, like the world had gone into slow motion as I was pushed off the cliff.
After a moment, the blissful feeling I had gotten from soaring across a short distance of sky disappeared and I plummeted down to earth. Fear exploded in my chest and I could hear myself screaming. My chest burned and it felt like I had been stabbed but I kept falling. On the cliff, I could see flashes of Wila and Batchi trying to stop me but it was no use. I fell without anything there that could stop me.
"Miss Guevarra? Hello? Are you okay?" The voice echoed in my head as I feel and when I could make out the ground approaching rapidly, I screamed.
"Miss? Wake up! Are you okay?!"
My body jerks and my eyes fly open at the same moment before my head collides with something hard. The impact snapped my head backwards and caused the back of my head to hit the edge of seat's back support.
"Ow!"
"Ah sh-!"
The wall and I yelp at the same time and for a second my vision simply spins, rendering me unable to recognize what or who I had attacked with my forehead. "Sorry! Sorry! I didn't mean to hurt you!" I apologized as soon as my tongue could work, thinking I may have hit Sam or the guard.
"Ooww." A female voice says with a harsh hiss, "what happened to not traumatizing your students on the first day? I'm pretty sure Sam thinks you just attacked me."
Hearing that oddly familiar voice felt like being doused with ice cold water.
No.
No way.
I didn't just-
I raise my head quickly and come face to face with Jade Tanchingco. Jade Tanchingco with an deepening red mark on her forehead.
I just headbutted an heiress to a multi-million peso company. was the first thing in my head as soon as the spinning stopped.
There were several stories of teachers losing their jobs just because of answering back to a parent, what more when a teacher physically harms one?
"I- uh... I'm so sorry. I dreamt that I- nevermind. Oh god, I'm so sorry." The words were past my lips like bullets and I couldn't stop if I wanted to, "please don't ask the supervisor to fire me for attacking you."
A light, hearty giggle bubbles past the woman's lips. She was smiling- no, grinning at me like I had told the best joke she had ever heard.
"You stayed with Sam, if anything I'd ask them for a promotion." She says with a quick glance at the sleeping child still in my lap, her hands still gently rubbing the mark. "Besides, I deserved that knock to the head. I shouldn't have been trying to wake you up with my face so close to yours. I'm sorry."
The indirect admission paired with the charming smile made an image of the woman's face close to mine flashed in my head and for the life of me I was sure a blush was creeping up my neck, "I... uh... It's okay."
She smiles then gives me a quick nod before taking a seat beside me, nudging Sam awake; but before the kid could fully become conscious and without thinking, "Normally a few taps on the cheek would do the trick but your way works too."
I half-expected her to feel offended or confused but she simply smiles brightly up at me and says, "Okay. I guess I'll keep that in mind..." then her smile falters and her face falls to the kid, "...for next time her dad forgets to pick her up."
The expression on her face made it clear that she was upset. Her lips morphed from that beautiful bright smile into a heavy set pout that accentuated her cheekbones and jawlines.
Even sad, this woman was absolutely beautiful.
"Sam... Wake up, honey." she cooed, her fingers dragging through the child's silky hair. She stirred and grumbled before instinctively wrapping her tiny arms around Jade's neck while the older Tanchingco woman mumbled hushed apologies into the kid's ear.
I felt like I was watching a scene that only the closes of friends and families could see, a tender moment between mother and daughter and I wanted to give them some privacy; but I was stuck, my leg had gone numb from Sam's weight and the painful prickling sensation had invaded my leg, rendering me unable to move.
Jade lifted the child with ease and Sam wrapped her legs around the woman's slim waist, while her arms lock under the kid's body. She turns to me with a nervous expression, "I know this is already in your contracts, from a school catering high profile families but please don't tell anyone about today. I wouldn't want news to hit that I was neglecting Sam, or that her father was." she says with a voice so small and scared that it felt more like she was asking me to help her hide a dead body.
"Oh, no. Of course!" I say, my lips stretching in a half-grimace, half smile from the effort to get my limb moving. "I wouldn't want to.. cause you and.. your family any trouble."I add while trying to push myself up with my arms, adjusting myself on the wooden bench.
The movement causing blood to rush back to my ass and legs, intensifying the static in my leg.
"Move your head left and right." she says matter-of-factly.
My eyes snap to hers again and for a moment I'm lost in those beautiful eyes, "Huh?"
"Move your head like this..." Jade then reached one hand forward and locked it firmly around the side of my neck. The contact felt like I had been shocked by a livewire and I suddenly stand in front of her; an arm's reach away but still pretty damn close.
Every nerve in my body sang with a pleasurable heat and my voice seemed to get caught in my throat, like every part of me had come alive. My heart tripped and faltered and it was like time stood still, or at least slowed down, as I felt her put pressure against my flesh.
I could feel her hand pushing against my neck, tilting my head left and right. Again and again until I started to become dizzy. "It's supposed to help ease the prickling sensation."
"Really?" I smile brightly, "where did you learn that?"She shrugs but still keeps her hand on my neck, "Does it matter? It worked, didn't it?"
Her tone was so light and playful but also so sure of herself and what my answer would be. I pause and stand straight before tapping my heel against the ground, feeling no needles or static.
"Whoa..."
"I know." She says, her lips pulling back into a warm grin.
"That's amazing." I add before we both fall silent; simply staring at each other, brown on brown and I felt like I was being pulled into that abyss in my dream.
It was like I was back on that cliff and that urge to jump had returned with a force that nearly knocked my breath away, overwhelming my common sense.
It felt like my body was being pulled towards her and it was the most natural thing in the world.
Stepping closer to her even with Sam between us.
Her hand remaining steady on my neck as we breathe in the small expanse of space between our lips.
Those dark orbs locked with mine, filled with the fascination, wonderment, confusion and inevitability mirrored in my own.
Nothing existed outside of us.
But just like a rubber band snapping back into it's original form, recognition shines in her eyes and she quickly bends her body away from me, "Yes?" she asks, her voice suddenly filled with nervousness.
Thinking on my feet, I force a laugh past my lips followed by a smile, "relax!" then reached over, dipping my fingers into Sam's hair. "There was a... chip in her hair. I didn't know if you saw I but I noticed it a few minutes ago."
Her eyes the drift to my hands and the small yellow morsel, "Oh! No that's- I thought- nevermind." She stutters as a relieved laugh bubbles up her throat and she shakes her head lightly. "Thank you, for everything. For taking care of Sam and for you... discretion."
"It's no problem, I wouldn't want to cause any problem for a Tanchingco and Sam's a good kid. It was my pleasure to keep her company."
The woman smiles again, but it was a bittersweet sort of expression. "So you know who I am."
"Well, I know your last name."
"Is there a difference?"
"Of course."
She pauses as if she couldn't believe what I had said and then her eyes meet mine again; and I could see so many things in them. "Um..." Jade blinks, her eyelids fluttering rapidly, "Anyway, thank you again."
"You're welcome, miss-" "Jade. You can call me Jade." She cuts me off before adjusting the still-sleeping Sam against her side then holding out a hand to me.
I place my hand in hers like I was touching the most precious of paintings, like I had found the missing arms and hands of the Venus de Milo.
"Althea."
"It's nice to properly meet you, Althea." Jade smiles, my lips mirroring her own.
"You too. Anyway, I'll see you around?" I ask with genuine smile.
She nods then pulls back, taking a few steps away from me. "Yeah! I'll... see you around."
She turns and heads for the gate, leaving me standing in the waiting area with flushed cheeks and a racing heart.
"You know what..." Jade muses loudly just inside the gate, "I should thank you properly. Do you want to come with us? The least I can do is buy you and Sam dinner."
Yes.
Yes!
I wanted to scream the answer as soon as the words were past her mouth but I managed to hold my tongue. I wanted that heady feeling she gave me but at the same time, I couldn't help but think I only felt this way because of my pain from Wila. That I may cross that invisible line simply because I was a lesbian and she was so painfully, beautifully straight. Besides, I didn't want to intrude on dinner.
My tactlessness will not go well with a man who forgets to pick up his own daughter.
"Thank you but... I have my night booked." I answer apologetically, an easy lie, fully expecting her to nod and let it go.
Jade's lips stretch into a soft smile before answering, "That's okay. Maybe some other day?"
"Of course." Shit. The words were out my mouth before I could stop them. She then nods before turning towards the guard, the man opening the gate on cue. "Oh, Jade!" I call out and she stops mid step before looking back at me.
What the hell is wrong with me? I thought to myself.
I didn't know why I called her. Had no idea what to say but it was like my mouth had a mind of it's own, "uh, nothing." I mutter, scratching the back of my head.
Her eyebrows crease together in an expression that was half confused, half- amused but she doesn't answer and simply turns back towards the exit. That was it. Surely, she thought I was mad and by tomorrow I might not even have a job.
Shit.
Shit on a stick.
I drop my shoulders and sigh deeply before turning to grab my purse and tablet from the bench then fishing my phone from my pocket. The screen shone bright and the first thing I notice is the time; it was a little over half-past 7 in the evening.
No wonder my ass was so sore.
I rubbed the said muscle as I scroll through my notifications; calls, texts, IMs, and messages on every social messaging app I had, most of it from Wila while some were from Batchi.
Almost on instinct, I dialed Batchi's number as I made my way to my car, recalling where I had parked it the night before. It rang twice before she picked up. "Where the hell have you been?" she scolds as soon as we were connected.
It was like hearing her voice had pulled me violently back into the real world and all traces of the buzz from Jade's presence had dissipated. The knot in my chest tightens and my gut twists in anger but it was a lot more diffused now that hours earlier.
"She cheated on me. She had been cheating on me all this time! Three. Fucking. Months." I coughed, punctuating the last three words by slamming my hands against the steering wheel.
"I know."
"You knew??" I barked into the receiver, my voice rising to a screech.
"I mean I know now, she called me after you left, confessed everything." Batchi says and I could sense the disappointment in her voice.
"She's fucking pregnant too, did she tell you about that?"
"Yeah. She told me everything."I scoff, not finding the words to describe how I felt.
Angry? Definitely.
Sad? Check.
Heartbroken? Double check.
"I hope she's fucking proud of herself and she lives happily ever-fucking-after." I sneer into the line before slamming the car door closed.
Batchi sighs again, "I'm more worried about you. Where are you?"
"Still at school. I'm on my way home. I'm fine."
"Of course you are. Stay there, wait for me. I'm going to pick you up."
My eyebrows scrunch together at that, "Why?"
"There's a party at Club 360; you and I are going to go out, we're going to drink and drown your heart in alcohol to numb it."
Club 360 was a two story club in the main business district of the city that was known for it's exclusive clientele of lesbians and bisexuals. It didn't start off as a lesbian bar but it openly accepted the diversity of their customer and even dedicated several days of the week for Lesbian, bisexual and questioning women to simply mingle and have fun in a safe environment. It was basically where she and I spent most of our time after my less than ideal situation, both of us becoming household names in the party circle. More and more woman wanted to be with us and hang out but when Wila and I got together I would only go there whenever I was with her since women would always come up to us if Wila wasn't around.
Even the idea of drinking, dancing and flirting with all the women that was sure to be there didn't attract me. My shoulders droop but I settle against the driver's seat, "I'm not really in the mood to party."
"I don't care. We're going out and I will find you someone that is going to make you forget Wila along with your own name."
"Batch..." I groan before digging into my purse for my keys."You need this Althea."
As I heard that, the small velvet box tumbled out of my bag and into the driver seat. I stared at it for a long time, salty, stinging tears filling my eyes.
"-you there? Hello? Althea?"
I breathed quietly for a few moments before answering, "How soon can you get here?"