terrified 5 + 1; five times valentina rosales kept a secret, one time she told a secret
— warning : the hanahaki disease and everything that comes along with it ( coughing up flowers, throwing up, etc ). i haven't read terrified in a hot minute, and i'm too lazy to, so people might be ooc. also, this is an alternate reality. well, at least in the end, the first five can be interpreted as canon. you'll see why ;)
❝ it's been a secret for the longest time
don't run; no, don't hide
been running from it for the longest time ❞
1.
WHEN VALENTINA ROSALES arrived at Camp Half-Blood, she'd made friends pretty quickly. Specifically with the Stolls and Drew Tanaka, who seemed to bring trouble with them. Well, it was mainly the Stolls, though if anyone said that Drew Tanaka wasn't actively attracting trouble at all times, Val would call them a liar.
Val was simply sitting at a picnic table, talking to Drew who was next to her, when the boys ran up to them, sitting across from them, breathing heavily.
"Act natural!" Travis told them.
"Like we were always here, talking to you two," Connor grinned at the two of them charmingly.
Val relented. It was his thief smile; he always used it when he was trying to get out of a situation. It's his own form of charmspeak, though not as convincing as her and Drew's. "So, boys," she said, "What do you think about the world of dance and how it destroys young girls' lives?"
"Uh . . ." Travis looked over at Connor, alarmed, who just shrugged with an equally panicked face.
Val let out a giggle, looking over at Drew, but she wasn't laughing, just staring off in the distance. But when she heard Val's laugh, she started to laugh, too.
Val resisted the urge to frown. Drew was never like that — spaced out, thinking about other things. She was always there in the moment. What had changed? Val would ask her later.
"We told you two to act natural," Connor complained.
"This is natural for us," Drew said, seemingly her normal, sarcastic self now, but Val knew better. "Us laughing at you two."
"Val, tell her off!" Travis leaned across the table to slap his hands in front of her.
"She is right," she shrugged. "I can't fault her for telling you the truth. Although, you haven't told us what you're running from . . ."
"Or who," Drew added. "And why."
Connor ran his hands through his hair, sighing. "Fine. But you have to promise not to laugh."
"Honey, I can't promise that," Drew said sweetly, "But I'd like to know."
"I'll promise for the both of us," Val resisted the urge to roll her eyes. "And I also would like to know who you bothered and why."
"Well," Travis started, "It all started when—"
"STOLLS!" An unfamiliar voice yelled. As Travis and Connor shrunk into themselves, trying to hide as Drew and Val turned. Val saw a girl storming toward their table, with blond hair in a tight ponytail and an angry expression.
"You pissed off Annabeth Chase?" Drew stood up, dragging Val with her. "Never mind, I never promised anything. Tell us later what happened. Bye!"
"Wait, Drew," Val frowned. "Why can't we stay? They need help!"
"Yes, from the gods for angering Chase," Drew continued to tug her to the Aphrodite cabin. "Don't worry, they'll survive . . . without their dignity, but they'll survive."
"Drew, that's not reassuring," Val protested as they went through the Hermes cabin to her private room. No one else batted an eye.
"Listen, V," they made it into her room, Drew shutting the door behind them. "Lemme give you some advice. If you bother Annabeth Chase, she'll give you hell back. Okay?"
"Sounds . . . good," said Val uncertainly. Then she shook it off, sitting on her bed. The head counselor, Luke, had given her this room, even though she'd gotten to camp later than a lot of the other campers. She was apparently just special, probably because she's the daughter of Death and Love.
Love . . .
She felt a small smirk growing on her face as she looked over at Drew. "What's going on with you today?"
Drew wrinkled her nose. "What do you mean, V? Do not tell me I messed up my makeup and you only just told me."
"No," Val shook her head. "You were just acting . . . weird, when Travis and Connor came over. It's not like anything's changed in the past couple weeks . . . right?"
Drew hesitated.
". . . right?"
"Val, what I tell you cannot leave this room." Drew stared at Val menacingly. "Do you promise?"
"I promise," Val smiled encouragingly.
Drew started pacing the length of Val's room. "I cannot believe that I've fallen for him," muttered Drew. "He's so stupid, absolutely barbaric, always looking for trouble—"
"That doesn't help at all," said Val helpfully.
Drew let out a half-groan, half-sigh, glaring at her. "I have a crush on Connor, alright?"
Val raised her eyebrows, her mouth falling open. "You? The perfect, gorgeous daughter of Aphrodite? And Connor?"
"I know!" Drew fell back on her bed dramatically. Then she looked up at Val imploringly. "But you have to promise to not tell anyone. Anyone, Val. Promise?"
"I promise," Val vowed, smiling at Drew.
And, well, technically Val didn't tell that secret, as it had already been figured out by everyone else. Including Drew and Connor themselves.
2.
VAL BECAME FRIENDS with Ethan Nakamura during camp activities.
They usually paired up for activities — unless one of the Stolls wanted her with them, then she switched. But most times she stayed with Ethan because he had no one and she wanted to be with him.
"Why do you spend your time with me, anyway?" he asked her during arts and crafts, attempting to make a friendship bracelet.
"Because I want to," she simply told him, offering him her finished friendship bracelet.
"Why?" he frowned.
"This would look cute on you," she jangled the bracelet in front of his face. "Also, I want to give it to you."
"I wasn't talking about the bracelet," he took it anyway, putting it around his wrist. "I was talking about me."
Val shrugged. "I want to be your friend, is that so hard to believe?"
And she spent the next three years convincing him of that, although he was convincingly convinced and unconvinced, she did her best to make him realize that she did care for him. And, slowly, he started caring for her too.
"Don't you hate the inequality that we have because we're not the children of major gods?" Ethan asked her for what could've been the millionth time since Luke Castellan betrayed the camp and joined the Titan Kronos in destroying Olympus.
As per usual, Val shrugged. "I don't know," she said. "I don't like it, but some rules have to be made, don't they?"
"Yeah, but there's so many flaws in that system," he insisted. "We need balance. We need . . ."
"Change?" she offered.
"Yes," he said. "Change." He sat down on her bed, twiddling his thumbs. "Which is why I want to leave camp."
She immediately turned around to look at him. "What?"
"I . . . I want to find Luke," Ethan told her, not looking at her. "And join him."
She stared at him for a moment, and even though he wouldn't make eye contact with her, she could see the determination in his eyes. And it was clear in his voice.
"I can't stop you," she shrugged, turning back to her mirror so she could wipe off her makeup.
She felt his stare on her. "You're not gonna argue?"
"You can do whatever you want with your life," she told him. "It's not my life, who am I to judge yours?"
Ethan was silent for a while, so Val asked, "Ethan?"
"Keep this a secret though, promise?" he pleaded.
"I promise," she said sincerely, smiling at him.
And she kept that secret, even when he left. And she never told that secret, that she knew he was leaving, even when it was known that he was on the opposite side. Even after he died.
3.
"VALLLLLLL!" CONNOR WHINED, draping himself over her.
"Get off of me, Con," she elbowed him, and he stood up straight with a yelp of pain. Next to her, Annabeth gave her a small smile before leaving.
"You hit so hard," he grumbled, sitting down where Annabeth had sat.
Val shrugged. "You deserved it," she put her arms on the table in front of her and laid down on them. "What's up, Connor?"
He was silent for a long moment. Then he told her, "I did something stupid."
She resisted the urge to tell him that those were usually the basis of his actions. "Alright, what did you do?"
"Do I have to tell you?"
"I don't know, do you want to get it off your chest?"
He nodded, twiddling his thumbs, then he admitted: "I kissed Drew."
Val straightened, slapping her hands down on the table. "You WHAT?"
"Not so loud!" Connor shushed her, putting his hand on her mouth. She pouted, and when her lips brushed his hand he pulled it away from her mouth. "She was just really close, and I wanted her to give in, and she never did, and then there was a lot of tension, and I gave in, and—"
"Okay, Shakespeare, calm down," Val smirked at him. "I knew you liked her, but you're down bad if you're using all of your and Trav's braincells to sprout poetry about Drew Tanaka."
"Shut up," he started to get up. "If you're not going to help—"
"Wait, Con, I'm sorry," Val grabbed his wrist. "Sit down?"
He grumbled something under his breath, but he sat down because he couldn't resist her. Must be a love child thing. Or maybe it's because she has the Hanahaki disease.
"So, you kissed her," she said.
"Yes, we've been over this," he sighed.
". . . what do you need help with? Or do you even need help? You kind of just interrupted my conversation with Annabeth by collapsing on me."
He smiled sheepishly at her. "Sorry." Then it quickly faded. "I don't know what it means, Val. It's a really bad time to be thinking about this stuff. I mean, there's a war coming."
"Then isn't it good to live in the moment?" Val asked. "Enjoy your time with her while you still can?"
"Morbid. Also, you shouldn't be talking."
"You're deflecting," she noticed. "What's the big deal? You like her."
Connor shook his head. "There's no way she likes me back."
Val remembered a conversation, four or five years ago, at this very same picnic table, where Drew had been spacing out before she dragged Val to her room and admitted about her crush on Connor.
"Give it a chance, Con," she nudged him. "What's the worst that could happen? She'll reject you?"
He groaned and let his head fall forward, hitting the table with a thump. "She could reject me and then I get the Hanahaki disease."
"Connor Stoll," Val scolded.
He winced. "Right. Sorry, V."
"I'm telling Drew and Travis you said that to me," she said.
"No! No, please, I'll do anything!" Connor sat up quickly, sending his pleading eyes at her. "I'll . . . uh . . . I'll steal some of that cookie dough ice cream you like! And I'll get coffee with you tomorrow."
"That's a deal if you consider giving it a chance." Val held up her pinky.
Sighing, his pinky intertwined with hers and he moved them back and forth. "Deal. So long as you don't tell anyone. Not Will, not Drew, and especially not Travis. I'll never hear the end of it from him."
She grinned at him. "Alright, I'll keep your secret, Stoll. Just remember to make due to your promises!"
She stood up, winked at him, let go of his pinky, then she flounced off to find Drew so she could get her to beat up Connor after saying that rude comment to her.
And, well . . . you already know how this'll turn out.
4.
VAL WAS WALKING with Kayla down the streets of Paris after a show, the night sky foggy above them. The stars weren't out, but the city was still as gorgeous as ever. Windows that betrayed the presence of the people on the other side with shining lights were stars enough.
Not to mention the shining stars that Kayla and Val were. Their show had captivated their audience — so much so, they raised enough money to fly to Amsterdam without tapping into Val's funds from Cupid. It was one of the better nights on the trip so far.
Despite this, Kayla was looking downcast, staring at the ground instead of the pretty city, letting Val guide her back to their hotel suite.
"What's wrong?" Val asked, breaking the uncomfortable silence between them.
"What do you mean?" Kayla countered.
"I don't know you that well, but after traveling with you for a month, I think I know you enough to know when you're down," Val started walking another way, a scenic route, if you will, but Kayla didn't even correct her, just kept walking.
"I just . . ." Kayla trailed off. "I feel things."
"Do you want to talk about those things?"
"No! Yes . . . I don't know," she groaned. "What are we doing, Val?"
"I am continuing my trend of traveling the world before I inevitably die next summer," Val told her. "I don't know what you're doing, but it probably has something to do with escapism if you're here with me."
"Those are big words," Kayla pointed out. "You've been hanging around Annabeth too much."
"They really aren't," Val said, though she didn't deny the other part. "Seriously, what's up? If you want to go home, I wouldn't blame you."
Kayla snorted. "Are you kidding me? This trip has been awesome so far!" she finally looked up, frowning as she realized that they weren't at the hotel. "Where are we going?"
Val shrugged. "I kept walking. You didn't realize where we were going. I wasn't even going anywhere in particular, but now that you mention it . . . I could do with dessert."
"Nope! No, absolutely not, we're going back to the hotel." Kayla grabbed Val's arm and dragged her back to the direction of the hotel.
As they walked through the streets again, Val said, "It's okay if you don't want to tell me what's wrong, obviously. But just know that I'm here, and people have said that I'm a good listener, and—"
"You're right, I needed to escape," Kayla blurted.
Val waited for her to say something else, but she was silent except for her loud footsteps as they marched to the hotel, which Val could see in the distance.
"That's okay," said Val. "I'm escaping, too—"
"That's different," said Kayla. "You're escaping something that's inevitable, but horrible. I'm just escaping . . . nothing."
"Nothing?" repeated Val.
"Just . . . just my own expectations," Kayla said. "It's really nothing."
"It's not nothing," Val said softly. "It's normal to have high expectations of yourself, then the pressure starts to pile on you."
"I just . . ." Kayla sighed. "I need to become an Olympian archer. That's my only goal, besides for surviving. And the show tonight, it—" she let go of Val abruptly. "It came back to me, in that moment."
"It's okay," Val reassured her. "You can't forget forever."
Kayla sniffed. "I want to do it. But at the same time . . . I don't."
Val opened her arms, and Kayla latched onto her, crying into her jacket. She dealt with it, despite the expensive, cute jacket being wet now.
As quick as the emotion came, however, it went. Kayla pulled away and glared at Val, pointing at her menacingly. "You are not going to tell anyone about this. Is that clear?"
To her credit, Val just smiled and looped her arm through Kayla's. "Wasn't going to," she promised, before leading them back to the hotel.
5.
"YOU'RE PLAYING A dangerous game," Nico pointed out as he lounged on Val's bed, acting like it was his own. He didn't even stay in the Hades cabin, which he had built at the end of last summer then proceeded to never use it.
"Love is a dangerous game, Neeks." Val was sitting in front of her vanity, frowning as she examined the marks Annabeth left behind on her from this morning. The Stolls hadn't even seen her for a second before they started laughing at her predicament, and Drew went along with them because she always takes Connor's side. Traitor. Instead of covering the hickeys with makeup, Val snagged a cashmere scarf and wrapped it around her neck, hiding all of the bruises. The weather was snowy out anyway, for some reason.
"That doesn't mean you have to partake in it," noted Nico.
Val smiled ruefully, an expression that she never personally saw on her face, but it always freaked other people out when they saw it. "I don't have a choice, it's the only game I'm forced to play. And lose."
"Like you can't just tell her that you love her," Nico rolled his eyes.
"And you have experience with this kinda thing?" she retorted.
His silence spoke volumes.
"Oh my gods, you have?" Val immediately swiveled her chair around to gape at him, slapping her hands down on her thighs. "You, Nico di Angelo, stone cold, self-made loner, has dealt with unrequited love?"
"Why do you make these things sound so dramatic?" he grumbled, looking at everything else in her room but her.
"I am not the dramatic one here." She let put a giggle at the thought, before her smile started to go down. "You know, you don't have to tell me anything you want to, but it's nice to know that someone's suffering just as I am."
"Val, no one's suffering like you are," Nico said.
She shrugged. "I don't take back what I said."
He sighed, finally making eye contact with her. "Swear you won't tell."
"I swear I won't tell your secrets."
He gave her an exasperated look. "Val."
"It's true! I've never told any of your secrets!" she protested.
"That's because you swore on the River Styx."
Val rolled her eyes. "I already swore on the Styx in the past that I'd never tell any of your secrets, remember? So don't worry. I wouldn't do it anyway, Neeks."
"Yeah . . ." Nico looked down at his fingers, splayed out on one of her pillows, which he held tightly on his lap. "I know."
"Do you?" she countered.
"Shut up." He was smiling. Then it quickly faded. "I . . . I lo—"
He stopped, his face slightly turning green.
"You don't have to tell me," she said softly.
"I have to tell someone." His breaths came out in short, silent pants. "It's Percy. It's always been Percy."
Val grimly smiled for the second time today. "Man, we really have the worst luck, don't we? Falling in love with the untouchable power couple?"
Nico let out a snort. "You can say that again."
"It's okay, you know," she said quietly, remembering a conversation in the pavilion, telling a boy that who she loved wasn't wrong in her eyes, even if society would hate her for them. "Liking boys. I mean, it's socially acceptable for me. But for you—"
"I know," he nodded. "I've suffered through enough of your stories."
Val smiled, rolling her eyes. "I am a great storyteller, thank you very much."
"You absolutely are not." But he was smiling, sort of reluctantly, but he was smiling. "Thanks, Val. For everything you've done."
"You're my brother, Neeks. I'd do anything for you," she stood up and walked over, wrapping her arms around him tightly.
Immediately, he squirmed so she'd let go of him. "Even tell Annabeth about your crush?"
"Only if you tell Percy about yours."
That shut Nico up. But, hey, at least Val didn't tell his secrets. He told Percy himself.
1.
VAL SAT ON her bed, staring at the shadowy corner of her room on the Argo II.
If this was her room in camp, Nico would appear out of the shadows for a respite from his visits to the Underworld, and she'd let him lie on her bed ( though he never asked when she was gone and he appeared — he just reclined on her bed anyway, and she'd find him there, jumpscaring her every single time ) and let him explain his whereabouts and what he'd done.
But it wasn't camp. This wasn't her room. And Nico wasn't here. Instead, he's trapped in a bronze jar in Rome, and they aren't close to being there, and Leo and Jason don't want to save him, even though they have to. Nico's her brother. And she would go through hell and back to keep him safe. He already did for the fate of the world.
She didn't even register the door opening, or the person who stepped in, even though it was her beloved. "Ali?" Annabeth asked.
Val turned her head away, her blood involuntarily running quicker, her pulse getting stronger, her heart beating quicker. She hated feeling these things about Annabeth when she had more important things to think about.
Annabeth squatted down at the foot of Val's bed, putting her arms on the bedframe and resting her head on them. "Look, angel, they didn't mean it—"
"Didn't mean it," Val repeated, letting out a mocking laugh that caused Annabeth to shrink back. "Did Leo not mean it when he said that we were walking into a trap by saving Nico? Did Jason not mean it when he said that he doesn't know whether to trust Nico, and that his loyalties were, he said, 'a little shady'?"
"Tina . . ."
"Nico saved me, Annabeth." Val stated, because it was true. "He saved me from falling into grief, he saved me from being alone, he saved me from myself. And he's so loyal, probably the most loyal person I've ever known."
Annabeth raised an eyebrow, but Val could see the mask she was putting on around the fear and worry in her eyes. "Not even you?"
"He went into Tartarus for this quest," Val snapped, finally looking at Annabeth. "Willingly. Would you do the same? Because I don't know if I would, and I'm the most loyal person on this planet, aren't I?"
She was silent, and Val took that small victory, staring at her nails disinterestedly.
"I won't let him die in that jar, Annabeth," Val promised herself. "Even if I have to shadow travel there myself and beg for Aphrodite's help to help me kill those giants."
"Even if I asked you not to?" Annabeth asked.
Val narrowed her eyes at that question. At questions like those, she honestly wondered if Annabeth knew. But there's no way she could know, logistically, because Val still has the curse.
"Do you think I wouldn't?" Val asked, her voice a whisper.
Annabeth stood up, walking around the bed and perching herself on it, starting to edge closer to Val. "I don't know what you'd do. But I'd want you to stay."
Val looked away from her immediately, feeling her ears heat up.
"Don't run," Annabeth put two fingers under her chin and forced her to face her. "Don't hide."
"I've been running for a while," Val smiled ruefully.
Annabeth frowned, leaning forward so her breath ghosted on Val's lips. "Why?" she asked.
Val's breathing quickened, and she remembered a conversation she'd had with Connor: she was just really close, and I wanted her to give in, and she never did, and then there was a lot of tension, and I gave in, and—
She'd made fun of him, but now she was feeling the same way he had described. The distance between she and Annabeth was making her feel weak.
"I'm ashamed," she whispered. "That I'm so in love with someone, but I don't love them enough to tell them. But I don't want to ruin them."
"Why would you ruin them?" Annabeth asked.
"I don't want to do this right now," Val replied instantly, relinquishing Annabeth's grip on her, dusting off her clothes. She was going to leave when Annabeth grabbed her wrist.
"Tell me," Annabeth demanded.
"No."
"Come on, Tina. Please? I feel like everyone knows but me who you love."
"You don't think that's on purpose?" Val retorted.
Annabeth's face fell. "Really? Why won't you tell me?"
Why? Val's been hiding this secret for so long, it's been killing her, literally. How long has she been waking up every morning, confused, as she dreams about doing whatever she wants to Annabeth? How long has she been needing Annabeth to stay alive? How long has she been shameful?
Well, not anymore.
"Because I'm in love with you," she screamed. "And I'm not afraid to face it, not anymore."
Annabeth stared at her, stunned. Val simply turned and walked out of the room.
* * *
Val couldn't find it in herself to be ashamed of her actions. She didn't have the Hanahaki disease anymore, and she felt like a huge weight was lifted off her shoulders.
She did seem normal after Percy, Frank, and Coach Hedge came back from their mission. Smiling graciously at Leo and Jason when they apologized, eating the brownies; you'd think nothing had happened to her.
Well, her tell was that she hadn't even looked at Annabeth Chase during the entire conversation, let alone talked to her, or was touchy with her. Not that anyone noticed but the two themselves.
After the impromptu meeting, Val ventured down to the engine room with Leo, sitting on the ground and leaning against a machine that he assured her wouldn't blow up, chatting about nonsense — well, she was telling him the story of how Travis and Connor managed to fill the entire Hephaestus cabin with balloons, even their secret rooms — when Annabeth showed up.
"Hey," she breathed out, her eyes only on Val. "I've been looking for you."
"Really?" Val wished she had Drew here. Or Will. Even Travis or Connor would've worked. Just someone to talk her guts out about this.
"Yes," Annabeth breathed out. "Can we talk?"
Val glanced at Leo, who was oblivious. She sighed and said, "yeah, sure."
She got up and let Annabeth lead her to her room, but Frank was in front of the door, just about ready to knock.
"Oh!" Frank jumped back. "I was — uh — going to ask if I could talk to you, but, uh . . . if you're busy, I—"
"No, it's okay," Val smiled, relief flooding through her blood. "I was going to grab an early dinner, anyway. And bring some food down for Leo because he won't eat otherwise."
"Ali—" Annabeth tried to call out to her, but she had already dodged her grip and went to the mess hall.
An hour later, Val was sitting on the crow's nest, eating a bowl of fruit. The dinner bell rang below her, but she didn't care, staring at the horizon.
She realized then that she had her entire life in front of her, now. Now she didn't have to worry about dying in two months. She hadn't even considered what she could do outside of camp, for a job — dancing? She didn't know.
"Are you going to keep trying to ignore me?" Annabeth got to the top of the ladder that led to the crow's nest, blocking the way down as if Val couldn't fly.
"You didn't choose the best time to talk," Val said, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear.
Annabeth stared at her. "You look different," she decided. "You're . . ."
"Not looking like a living corpse?"
"I was going to say better."
Val shrugged. "I guess that's what happens when curses get lifted."
Annabeth sighed. "V—"
"Just reject me, Annabeth." Val still hadn't made eye contact with her. "I'll be okay."
"I can't," Annabeth took both of her hands. "Because I love you too, Valentina Isabel Rosales."
Val finally looked at Annabeth at those words, her eyes widening. "You can't be serious."
"I'm shameless of my feelings," Annabeth told her. "I love you. I just haven't . . . I didn't let myself see it."
"But Percy—"
"I love him too," Annabeth explained. "You know of polyamorous relationships, Val. And we're Greek demigods, can't I have you both? Percy agreed."
Val's eyebrows raised. "He did?"
"I can't choose, Tina, and I don't think I ever could," Annabeth said quietly, seemingly shrinking into herself.
"I'm not asking you to," Val said. "It's just . . . I never thought I could have you."
"You can, Tina." Annabeth extended a hand out to her. "Can I have you?"
Val hesitated before putting her hand in Annabeth's. "You've always had me, Annabeth Chase."
And, well, if that was the only secret she'd tell in her entire life, she was glad that it was that one.
❝ right now i'm shameless
screamin' my lungs out for ya ❞