***Tada second update, hope you will enjoy the chapter❤️. Happy reading let me try to give you update on weekends. Mistakes will be there. ***
Yazhini Pov:
"Why he needs to accompany me paa?" I asked dad again.
"Varun too wants too visit that temple yazhini along with you." dad says.
"Yazhini, we can't come over that long. Besides we can't allow you to travel that long alone too. At first it was arjit who was about to accompany you. But in last minyute he got some work, so there is no other choice."
I huffed.
Not him again.
So it's actually a temple visit where maa and ppaa have to go. Like their family temple it seems. But its a longer distance, last time when mom travelled that long from chennai its leads her some pain in knee joints. So doctor advised to not travel any long distance atleast for some time.
So I accepted to go on behalf of them to path as they will visit atleast once in a year, but now in last minute the plan is ended up with disaster it seems.
"I will ready mumma" I heard varun voice.
I looked at him where arjun is holding him in his arms.
Arjun is smiling cheekily.
I looked away.
I hate it
'But you can spend some time with your son. '
With that I entered into my room to get ready. After getting ready I gone inside his room to check on Varun who is now jumping after hearing the plan.
"Amma, is it true?" he again asked me by grabbing my both cheeks.
I smiled at him.
Its his wish right to go out with both parents. Atlast it is going to be real, but now I don't want to once it was mine too but not anymore.
"Yes kanna" I says at him with little smile.
Only good thing is he is not in the room atleast so with that I just took Varun out after making him ready, as I know that man will be anytime soon from bathroom.
"Yazhimi, I kept everything in this bag. I already informed the iyaar, regarding your visit. He would be preparing all the things." maa says, I nods at her.
__________
"Take care dears, Arjun take care of yazhini and varun. Its a long distance, so please try to finish the poojai as soon as possible so that you all can return to home by today night itself." paa says at him.
"I will take care both of them uncle." Arjun says by looking at me.
I rolled my eyes.
'How can he behave like this'
"Please get into the car" he asks by opening the passenger seat, I just opened the back door by myself and hoped on with Varun in my arms.
"Maa why are we sitting in back seat" Varun asked me.
"We both will play kanna on back seat" I says.
I looked at arjun who is trying to conceal his sadness.
____________
Arjun pov:
This is how she would have felt right?
Everytime?
I smiled sadly.
"Bye uncle and aunty" I says while getting on the driver seat.
With that I strated the car only to stop, as uncle asked me to stop
"What happened in..." I stopped.
As I heard the door opening sound, with that I turned back only to see That man entering in back seat.
What?
I hate him.
Why the heck he is sitting in back seat?
Arghhh
"Arjith, dad said you couldn't make it today, But you came?" yazhini asked.
Okay they are in name basis.
'Why are getting angry on this mister. Arjun?'
'No am not getting any anger'
"Yazhini, I got the permission. And it was you who asked for this, how will I say no to that."
"Thanks arjith"
"Driver please start the car" arjith says. I glared at him through mirror.
"Uncle, he is not a driver. He is my dad" varun says, I smiled at this.
"And he is not driver. He is a lawyer," again he says.
"Oh sorry, I didn't notice him properly." he says.
"Can we start going?" he asked me. I just nods and started driving the car.
_________
My eyes looked at her, who is laughing out loud.
I haven't seen her ever like this.
'Offcourse who will laugh while living with a physcopath?'
'But her laugh'
Even varun looks at her with awe expression.
"Mumma mummaaa" varun calls her.
"What is it kanna?" she replied at him.
He caressed her right cheek as he is sitting between both of them.
"You look beautiful maa" he says at her. Awww.
Yazhini smiled and kissed his palm.
"Maa?" arjith asked.
"Y... Y... Ye..." yazhini started.
"Arjith why don't you come front?" I intervened.
"Mmmm am more comfortable here"
I glared at him but he didn't noticed it.
I just increased the speed of the drive.
After 4 hours of travelling we reached the temple.
__________
"Yes kanna can you please pass that jaggery?" I heard yazhini voice. As she is preparing the sweet pongal to devote before the god.
"Sure mumma" with that he passed her the jaggery.
"Kanna don't come closer, stay there kanna, as se don't want him to get hurt with fire. " She says.
"He is so cute yazhini." arjith says while taking him in his arms.
Its really irritating, why did he have to accompany us?. I thought of spending some family time with my wife arghh and thought of getting Knwoing about her.
'She never accepts you as her husband. And no husband will try to understand his wife after this long. ' my mind reminded me.
"Do you need any help?" I slowly asked her while sitting beside her.
"No thanks Mister. Arjun." she replies.
After preparing the pongal, she kept the pongal before the diety with that the poojai started.
"Take this dear and ask your husband to keep the vermilion on your head partition." iyaar says at yazhini.
She looked at me.
"I don't have any one iyaar." She says.
"Sorry dear, I just thought you both as couple." iyaaar guitly says, whereas that arjith were looking calculatively at me and yazhini.
Goood thing varun already slept on me.
__________
"No one can cook like you yazhini" arjith says.
"Enough arjith" yazhini smilingly says while passing me the plate with pongal.
I smilingly accepted and started to eat.
Then again they both started to converse, even varun started to play with them. They three looks like a happy family. Not with me right?
I sadly smiled.
The guilt again starts to risen up, I couldn't able to think straight. All I need is her as my wife.
After finishing everything, we all started our journey to our home.
"Appa I want to sit with you" Varun says.
I nods at him with a smile.
"And with mumma also, big uncle can you please drive the car this time?" varun cheekily asks.
"But varum...." yazhini started only to be cut off by arjith.
"I will drive" he says and walked towards the driver seat.
'Okay what is happening here?'
"Mumma where are you going?. Please mumma I want to sit between you both" he says by pulling into the back seat of the car
Even I hopped into the car.
With that arjith started driving the car, the time might be around 7 clock in evening.
Varun grabbed my hand, I turned towards him only to see that he placed my hand on hers which is already on his lap.
I looked up at her only to see a irritation dripping on her face.
"I love you maa and paa" He says. Again arjith looked at us but nevertheless didn't asked anything.
I just kissed him on his forehead.
Yazhini just took him on her lap and kissed his both cheks.
"Mumma too love you soo much kanna" She says while hugging him tightly whose eyes were started to moist.
"Mumma I want to sit here" "with that varun took the window seat by pushing his mom towards my side.
" Varun you should sit on my lap. "
"Your legs will be paining mumma, your varun is not a small boy anymore." Varun says while looking outside the window.
This big man knows how to act as cupid.
Mmm not bad.
Yazhini then started to move towards Varun by leaving space between us both.
I looked away.
" How is the hearing going for.... "arjith started to ask me the question regarding my work related.
With that our conversation started in between Varun slept.
I looked at my right side only to see yazhini is looking out whose face is having a calm composure.
" What happened? "I aksed arjith, as the car stopped abruptly.
"Not sure, the car is not starting"arjith says while trying.
"Let me check" with that I get down from the car and walked towards the front.
_________
"What happened arjith?" I heard yazhini voice.
"Looks like we need a mechanic."
"Oh my, then how we will go from here?"
"This is a an abandoned area, and even we can't even call for some mechanic for here."
"But how can we stay here itself?" yazhini asked.
"We both were trying from past 2 hours. But we couldn't able to fugre out yazhini." arjith says.
"You and Varun stay inside the car." I says.
Without saying anything she jut hoped inside the car.
___________
"That was funny" I heard her voice who is laughing out loud. Currently we three were sitting on the roadside pathway.
"Yes yazhini, I will give...."
'She never been this happy with you ever Arjun. Look at her.' my guilt again started.
It really hurts, to think everything.
"One sec yazhini, I will be back am getting a important cal." with that arjith walked away leaving us both. Varun is sleeping inside the car, beside the car only we both were sitting.
We both kept sitting, without conversing. I want to initiate the conversation, I want to talk with her. But at the same time am just very much concerned, after hearing all shits about myself. Day by day the guilt and everything is increasing and all just letting me know that am never suitable for her.
'Stop with your bullshit arjun' I tried to convince myself.
'Just speak something.'
"D.. I...." exactly she stood up.
But she stopped and looked back at me.
"What is it?" she asked me with a tint of irritation.
'Who will not?. Just think about your doings Arjun. This is not even equal to single percent.'
"Can we speak?" I asked her.
She sighed.
"What you want to say?" she asked me while folding her hands.
"Please take your seat" I asks.
Sighingly she takes her seat.
"What is it?" she asked me sensing that am not going to iniatie the conversation.
"I... Want.... Us... A to have a fresh S.. Start... Y.. You I... A.. Var... C.. Can we understand ea.... Ch oth... " I started.
"Mr. Arjun, I already said that is impossible. Why are you not understanding it?" she irritatedly says.
"B.. But I.... Please Yaz.. Yazhini. I know I fucked up a lo....please give me one chance to prove myself..... I wi.. Will...."
She laughed.
"Just don't take me wrong Mister. Arjun for telling this. Did you ever gave me any chance prior?. How many times I would have asked you?, but not once you gave me a chance. The irony here is, I don't know why the hell you were hating me. I don't know anything about you. I entered in your house with a lot of dreams, a dream to lead a happy life. A dream of free from abuse, a dream to have a happy environment. But all happened was opposite to my dream. Even if its was not a bigger abuse, still its an abuse to me. On our first night, I walked into the room only to know my another hell. After that I was thinking how to make you and your mom happy. Since I was never even look like a human being to you both. " she stopped.
" I... "
" Please Mister. Arjun, just hear what am saying. And tell me whether we will able to be together thereafter. "
" Here" she says while showing her hand with enclosed after fishing oiyly something from her purse.
"Wh.. Whta is.. Is it?" I aksed her.
She just opened her hand.
"Ring?"
She nods.
I confusedly looked at her.
She smiled but its sad smile.
'Who in sane mind will smile happily with you arjun.' my mind mocked me.
But it's right.
"I know you will look confusedly." she says with a laugh.
"Wh..at?"
"Mister. Arjun, this is our engagement ring. The ring which I put on your finger. The ring which symbolise our togetherness." she stopped.
I gulped.
"I think you still don't remember Mister. Arjun. Yeah how could you actually when you never looked at this ring?"
"You know what I thought?. I got this ring at the same evening when I was strolling on the front garden on our engagement. At first I thought you missed our ring, so I thought of give you this on our first night only to get know about the reality. Then I understood that ring was not missed perhaps you wantedly thrown away. "
"I was.... Th..... That day... Its because of your dad's mistress.. She spoked... Ill about you.. I believed you...." I started but without Knwoing how to complete I stopped.
"Do you know how much value this ring is?"
"I earned each and every penny to buy this. That was not easy in between of abuse. I saved the money actually for my mother's treatment. But when she passed away before our engagement, I thought I will buy you a remembrance as my mom to you. But you what you did without even thinking you just thrown away this. I bought this ring with so much of dream. "she says while wiping her tears.
I lowered my head with shame.
"Leave that aside. " she says after sometime.
"With just two months of our marriage everyone started to ask me about the pregnancy. But I never gave any heads up to that at first. But after a daily tortures with your mom and outsiders who used to ask me when I will pregnant. I asked you for first time with you. But what you did, you just slut shamed me. "
" But the irony is you took my innocence when you was in your drunked state. And in morning again you slut shammed me. And what you did when I was pregnant? , as soon. As you heard about the pregnancy you walked out of the home for 3 months. "
"Every pregnant woman will have the cravings. I too had but sadly I didn't had anyone in the world to buy me anything. Only suppprt was maama, whatever he can do he did but no one can replace the husband support right?. My heart yearned for that after seeing evet woman. When every woman go on a walk with their husband I used to go on walk with either maama or by myself. Leave about that, on every check up doctor used to scold me for not bringing you. Even when I was on the labour pain, you didn't walked in the ward. Without no one I clutched the bed handle. "
" I thought atleast after having a baby you will change, but no. Atleast you did accepted our baby. " she says by looking into my eyes.
" We both slept in a same room, but it was nothing but a roommates. Even roommates will have a conversation whereas we both lacked that too. And whenever you were drunked, you wanted my body. And being the biggest dumb me, everytime lay like a prostitute with a small wish that you will accept me. But like everytime you will just shame me and walk out. "
" I was never behind your body. I never even looked at your photo before marriage. It was that day on our engagemnt I looked for the very first time. Truth to be told I was scared after seeing you, why this handsome man getting engaged to me?. I did asked maama many times about your concern. "
" If only I know about your past. If only I attend your phone call. I wouldn't even walked in your life. Above everyone I know what is the broken marriage life was. Because I seen my parents. The torture which my mom endured, poor she never had a good day in her whole life. Now looking back even I didn't had any. From my childhood I used to seeing the beatings, even had the beatings. "
" In my whole life I yearned for one thing which is love. But I never get that on my childhood apart from my mom. Then in marriage I thought I will be pampered by my future husband. Nevertheless, nothing happened to me. "
" But now in this short span of time I understood that we should not expect the love from others. Instead we should have to love ourselves. "
" But now after 9 years 6 months you are asking for me Mister. Arjun. "
"But Mister. Arjun, All you are having is a guilt. The guilt of hurting me this is what I have been telling you from the start. You are not loving or like me, I don't want to end up with you. Since at the last it will be like you sacrificed your whole life fr hurting me. We both wil never lead a happy life. Because seeing me everyday, your mind will say that you hurtled me. That's it, for that only you will live with me. But I don't want that life Mister. Arjun. "
" Foolishly I expected for a love past years. But now I wanted to live the life which is actually a life. The life where there will be no expectations but only the reality. I want to face this world, I want to achieve something in this life. "
My heart started to pound.
" B. But yazh..yazhini one.. Chance...ple..."
"Please Mister. Arjun, if I accept to live with you. It will be nothing but deceiving myself. Which I don't want to. You are not loving me and the same goes for me too. We both never get a chance to understand the real selves of each other. You never know me, the same goes for me. I may know your favourites food things. But I never know your original self mister. Arjun. It was she, Varshini who get your real love. Looking back now we both don't know each other mister. Arjun. All those thing I know about you is from your parents, I never get a chance to hear it from you. "
"Before marriage it was varshini for you,
After marriage it was varshini for you,
Where I was in this mister arjun.
I was never in your whole life existence,
All I was is your son's biological mother,
All I was is your bed time partner,
All I was is your and your mom's home maid. "
" For 9 years I was invisible for you, now I really want to invisible from the rest your life. Let's get separate Mister. Arjun. I know am doing a blunder to my son. But he will understand it Mister. Arjun. I don't want him to suffer with me. I want him to get all the happiness and success in his life. Think me as a selfish woman or anything. I wanted my son's bright future, only you have the money for it. Myself am unaware of life I don't want to take varun with me and punish him too. Its better for him to live with you and with this grandpa. And after seeing your bond with him now am cent percent sure he started to love you so much Mister arjun. I hope you will love him the same way even after too."
I couldnt even able to open my mouth.
"Pl..."
She nods as no.
"You and me never meant to be together. It was a mistake. Now I want to rectify that mistake. If onky I have a time machine. I would have corrected your life a long back. "
" Sorry and thanks for putting up with me for 9 years Mister. Arjun."
"I thought atleast after marriage I will have someone as mine. Someone who will hear my pain. Someone who will say that everything will be okay. Someone to lean their shoulder. But sadly I never experienced this ever. But now I understand expecting others to share their shoulder is wrong. " she stopped and looked into my eyes.
My heart started to pound very fast. The reality.
"Until now it was other person who ruled my life, now I want to rule myself."
"Lets end this here!!" she says.......
Author's pov :
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