- 1 week later -
Amaria's POV
"Amaria express your issues with Dave" she said. "His lying and cheating, it makes me look at him different, most times that I see his face all I feel is hurt and hate" I said as the therapist nodded and gestured towards Dave to talk. He better not say shit because I'm perfect.
"She has a short temper issue, she blows everything out of proportion, she don't want to communicate with me, she always trying to be in control andddd I would like more sex" Dave said making me roll my eyes. "Amaria how do you feel about what Dave has to say" the therapist asked me. "I agree with everything he said, those are some things I struggle with, but I do want to just say that I really do try and let him be in control. Sometimes I feel out of control when I don't have control. And when he cheats that makes me feel scared for him to lead or be in control because I feel like I can't trust him" I said.
I do blow shit out of proportion and I don't communicate well with Dave when we argue but in all honesty I try really hard to let Dave be the man and take the lead in our relationship. Especially since we got married, but he betrayed my trust again and again and at this point I don't know if I have any more to give.
"And when we get in an argument I don't 'communicate' with him because he want's to be all up in my face after, I need space to just debrief but he can't give me that so we argue again. Sex part was uncalled for, i just had a baby" I said looking at Dave as he shrugged. "Im just expressing Ari" he said. "And you also blow things out of proportion" I explained. "And Dave what do you think about what Ari had to say about your dishonesty and adulterous activities?" the therapist asked Dave. "It ain't like I actually want to, it just happens" he said as I scoffed. "What kind of explanation is that? How is that supposed to make me feel better?" I said.
"Amaria we aren't here to make you feel better, we are here to figure out the problem of the your relationship" the therapist said. "The problem is that he is cheating, duh" I said to the therapist. "The cheating and the lying may be the biggest problem but it's not the whole problem" the therapist said. "Dave has just explained his issues that he has with you in the relationship, those things are part of the problem" she said.
"Dave are you able to give a more in depth answer to my question?" the therapist asked Dave as he sighed. "I honestly don't want to, it's not like I want to hurt you on purpose. I don't expect you to understand where I'm coming from but I want you to know that I truly am sorry for all the shit I put you through, I really want us to be together. Which is why I dragged her ass here" he said the last part to the therapist chuckling but she didn't seem to be amused and neither was I.
"And what about not giving Amaria space after an argument?" the therapist asked. "I don't hold onto shit like she do, I don't give a fuck after the argument is done it's done" he said. "I think you do it just to piss me off" I said. "Ain't the woman just say it ain't about you" Dave said making me roll my eyes. She continued to try and nitpick and ask us annoying questions for the rest of our session.
"I feel as if this was a productive session, we only scratched the surface though, there is a lot more to go. However I see this ending in a positive situation and I hope you two feel the same way" she said.
We finished up our session and got in the car as Dave drove us to the house. I sat in the passenger seat scrolling on instagram and liked Nia's post with Bully and Nas.
"How you feel?" Dave asked me. "Tired" I simply said. "Ari" Dave sighed. "I don't feel like having this conversation again" I said going back on my phone.
So let me give you a mini update in the last week. Me and Dave had conversation and I decided to try and work through this. Dave asked me to do couples therapy with him, it took a little convincing but then I agreed. I want to make it work for our family, I want to live the life I dreamed about since I was a little girl. It ain't working out like I hoped but at the same time that's how life is.
We got back to the house seeing Mama Fai playing with Messiah on the couch. He stood on her legs as she held his little waist for support, while he played with her face while she made noises making him giggle. I smiled at the sight of them, I happy that Messiah has a relationship with Dave's parents since he can't see my parents as much unless it's on FaceTime.
"How was the therapy session? Fai asked us as I took Messiah out her arms kissing his chubby cheeks. "It was good, but could be better if someone was more openminded about it" Dave said getting a water bottle out the fridge, I rolled my eyes at what he said. I think therapist are stupid to be honest, I tried to go to one when I lost Sariyah but she ain't help with shit. Maybe cause she a white woman and I ain't feel comfortable around her. Our therapist now is a black woman, she cool but I still don't like the idea of this shit. I just keep reminding my self that it's for Messiah.
It's not like I stopped loving Dave, I still love with him with all my heart. I hate my self for it, after all the shit he put me through, after all the times I forgave him, I never stopped loving this dumbass. So I guess you could say I'm trying to make it work between us for me too.
Fai and Pops ended up staying for dinner before leaving. I put Messiah to sleep before going to our room to shower. I walked in seeing Dave lay on the bed. "What are you doing?" I asked a little irritated to be honest. We been sleeping in seperate rooms since I moved back in, I still need my space and time.
"The other room ain't got a Tv in it" he said not taking his eyes off the tv. I sighed going to my closet to pick out my pyjamas for tonight. When I came back out Dave diverted his attention from his show to me. "Cmere" he said extending his arm out to me. "But I am-" "Ari just come here" he said cutting me off as I sighed and walked over to him and he pulled me into him with his arm. "Why you being distant" he said wrapping his arm around me. "I'm not" I lied as he chuckled. "You are, you get tight as soon as you see me, I can see it in your face" he says as I sighed. "I want to forget about it, I want to forgive you, but it's really hard" I express as he rubbed my arm. "What else?" he asked me. "I don't trust you anymore, I think about everything you put me through every time I see your face, I am so hurt by you, yet I can't stop loving you. I hate this feeling Dave" I said as he sighed. "What can I do to make it better?" he asked me as I thought for a moment. Truth is I don't really know what Dave can do to make it better.
"I don't know" I mumbled. "I can tell you that I won't ever hurt you again because i mean it, but I know you won't believe me" he said. "I want to believe you. That's the thing, I want to forgive you, I want to trust you, I want to make us work, I want us to have more kids and grow old with each other and see our grand kids, I want to still be by your side when I die. It's stressing me out, maybe if I really try to be positive about this therapy shit, maybe that could work, but I'm not sure" I said.
"I'm sorry mama, I didn't want to hurt you, ever. I love you more than anything in the world, that's why I made you my wife" he said as I smiled remembering when he proposed to me. "And maybe my words don't mean shit to you, or it's not enough but I promise ima win you back, after that no more fuck shit" he said and part of me believed him. "I hope you do" I said my head resting against his chest listening to his heartbeat.
-Next day-
"Deadass? That's some crazy sh-, ish man" Dave said stopping himself from cursing as he talked to Messiah. We always talk to him like he is actually talking to us. "Babababa" Messiah said putting his toy in his mouth. "Why you do that? You don't know where that nasty shit been" Dave said as I slapped his arm. "My bad I meant ish" Dave said making me shake my head. Why can't he just not cuss, it ain't that hard.
"Ma" Messiah said mugging him before looking back at me and reaching his arms out to me. "Come to mama baby" I said reaching my arm out to him. He low-key rolled his eyes before crawling to me. Yes my baby can crawl now, he so smart too, everyday he get's smart and grows and starts to look more and more like Dave's twin.
"Mwah" I kissed his cheek as he smiled clapping his hands. "You wanna go to the park today?" I ask him as he looked at Dave who was now sprawled out on the couch watching sports centre. "You want daddy to come to the park?" I ask Messiah's Dave looked over at us. "No can do, got some shit planned with the homies" he said looking back at the tv.
"We want mommy and Messiah time anyways" I say to Messiah tickling him as he pushed my hand away. "Oh you not feeling it?" I ask as he looked back at Dave. "Da" he said as I shook my head smiling. "Come on let's go put some warm clothes on" I say getting up and making my way up stairs to Messiah's room.
I dressed him in a puffer onesie outfit and a beanie with some Jordans. "You so cute papa" I say snapping a photo of him while he kicked his legs and punches the air.
I changed into some black leggings and a hoodie, I wrapped a scarf around my neck before brushing my hair out one more time and wearing a matching brown beanie with Messiah and gloves. I grabbed the diaper bag and picked Messiah up. I made my way downstairs with Messiah in my arms as Dave was still in the same position, sprawled out on the couch.
"You want me to take y'all?" Dave asked sitting up. "No we can just walk, but pick us up after if you can" I said as nodded getting up. "I gotchu" he said walking towards us and placing a kiss on my lips before taking Messiah out my arms. This seemed to excite him because he started smiling and making a while lot of baby sounds.
"He starting to like you more than me" I said placing a hand on my hip and watching them a little jealous. "Tell yo mom that there ain't no need to be jealous" Dave said to Messiah kissing his cheek before handing him back to me. "I'm not jealous, at the end of day the both of you are obsessed with me" I said as Dave chuckled. "If it helps you sleep at night" Dave said making me roll my eyes playfully.
We said bye to Dave before making our way to the park that wasn't too far from our place. Messiah had never been to the park before today, he still young but I wanted to get out the house.
"Say cheese for daddy" I say to Messiah as he was on the swing clapping his little hands together in excitement , he wasn't even swinging that much because I only gently swung him. "Perfect" I said snapping a picture of him. I placed my phone in my pocket and diverting my full attention on Messiah.
"Hold on lil mama" I heard someone say before feeling something crash into me from behind. I turned around to see a little girl fall on her butt. "Sorry ma, she been wildin running around" some guy said, I looked up seeing a young man holding onto a pink backpack and breathing heavy, maybe from chasing after this kid.
"Are you okay?" I ask the little girl helping her up as she looked at me blankly. "It's okay" I say to the guy who I'm assuming is her dad. "Are you sure?" he asked me as I nodded and turned around to check on Messiah, he was looking at the man behind me and mugging him.
"This your kid?" he asked me as I turned around to look at him, damn he was fine as fuck. "Uh- yes he is" I said stumbling over my words as I tried to not look at this fine as man. He smiled and chuckled, "Are you sure? you sound uncertain" he said as smiled. "No he is my son" I said laughing nervously as he nodded and crouched infront of him as he sat in the swing. "Hey lil man" he said to Messiah as he looked up at me before looking back at him. "Da" Messiah said before stating to kick his legs. I laughed shaking my head before I picked him up out of the swing.
"How old is he?" the man asked me standing back up with his daughter holding his hand. "8 months, how old is this pretty little girl" I say looking down at her as she mean mugged me. "twenty three months old" he said picking her up as I furrowed my eyebrows. See I don't do that shit, once you one years old, you one. I don't do the months shit unless a baby is under the age of one. "Almost two" he said chuckling.
"You live around here? I haven't seen your face around before, which can I say you are one beautiful woman" he said making me blush but you probably couldn't tell because my cheeks were already pink from the cold. "Thank you" I say not answering his "you live around here?" question.
We continued talking and getting to know each other. We ended up leaving the park and going to a nearby cafe since it started snowing and getting more cold. He told me about him and his daughter whose name I learnt was Layla and his name was Kadeem. Layla is very cute and definitely gets her looks from her father. She seemed attached to his hip and they had a good relationship.
His baby moms took off leaving Layla without a mom and Kadeem a single dad. I don't understand how someone could leave a baby without their mother, if she didn't want a baby she probably shouldn't have went through with it, now another motherless child is growing up in today's society.
"The more I look at you the more I feel like I know you from somewhere" he said analysing my face. "Maybe I have one of those faces" I shrugged taking a sip from my coffee. I felt my phone ringing from my bag. I put my coffee down scrambling through the bag trying to figure out which pocket I put my phone in. When I finally found it they had hung up, I saw a message come through from Dave telling me he was outside. I completely forgot I told him to pick us up from here when he was done.
I texted him back letting him know I was going to be out soon. "Aww damn, I gotta go, it was nice meeting you and your daughter" I said smiling before getting up. "Hold up let me get yo number, it's nice having a friend who is also a parent" he said as I bit the inside of my lip. This feels wrong, we are both attracted to each other that's for sure, but it's not like i'm thinking bad things when I look at him I just think 'wow he is fine'. It won't be wrong if I tell Dave, that way I won't feel like i'm doing something bad. Plus I feel bad, he is a single dad and has no help, being friends isn't a bad thing.
"So?" he said snapping me out my thoughts. "Yeah for sure" I said taking his phone that he handed to me and putting my number in. "Nice meeting you two" I say smiling before paying and leaving.
Once I exited the cafe I saw Dave's Bentley parked outside. I opened the back door placing Messiah in and strapping him in. I then placed the diaper bag next to him before shutting the door closed. I opened the passenger door getting in. "I wish I could understand what you tryna tell me man" Dave said chuckling as Messiah was babbling on. "What you tryna say papa?" I say looking back at him as he stopped his baby language once I looked back. "Oh you don't want to tell mommy?" I say laughing. "How was your day?" Dave asked leaning in and kissing my lips. "It was good we met some new fr-" "Hold on bae I gotta take this call" Dave said as he got an incoming call from his manager. I nodded and sat back in my chair and got my phone out to let time pass by.
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How did y'all like this chapter?
What are your thoughts on Ari deciding to go to therapy with Dave and work things out? Are we surprised?
Thoughts on Kadeem and Layla?
What do you think about Kadeem and Ari? Do you think this new friendship is wrong for Ari to be in or is it not a big deal?
Make sure to share y'all thoughts. Love y'all and see u in the next chapter