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Chapter 55
"Grabe, Mommy! I'm so full na!" humagikhik na reklamo ni Alexene matapos kumain.
I smiled while staring at her. We were at the mall because it's Sunday. Sa tuwing dadating ang araw na ito ay napagkasunduan namin ang mamasyal sa mall at gawin ang kahit anong gusto nila.
Alexene is always taking advantage of this special day. Lahat ng laruan na gusto niya ay pinabibili niya. Habang si Alexandre naman ay literal na hindi maluho. Pero kahit pa umaayaw siya, ako na mismo ang kumukuha para sa kaniya.
"You ate too many. Huwag ka na mag-doubt." paismid na sagot ni Alexandre sa kapatid niya.
Alexene puckered her pinkish lips and looked at the plate in front of us.
"Not everything naman. The food is great kaya. Mommy, let's go back here on Sunday."
I chuckled and nodded my head. "Of course. Anytime you want."
She clapped her hands. "So where are we going after this? You have already bought toys na for us. Nag-play na rin po tayo sa kinder city."
"We'll visit the the Luxury boutique and then after that, we will both have a haircut. Masiyado nang mahaba ang buhok mo."
She looked at her long hair. Hanggang bewang niya na ito. Ang sabi niya noon ay gusto niyang pahabain para maging kamukha niya si Barbie.
Ayos lang sa akin noong una. Kaya lang, sa tuwing nasa bahay kami ay nagmumukha siyang si Simba dahil hindi siya marunong mag-ayos ng buhok. I told her that she's even having a hard time doing anything because her long hair was a distraction.
"Well, I think you're right. I have to bid goodbye to my long hair na," aniya at nagtaas ng tingin sa akin. "Hanggang shoulder, Mommy. That's enough? Puwede na rin po ako mag-color purple na hair?"
Umiling ako. "I'm sorry, honey. Chemicals aren't good for your hair. Maybe when you're already a grown up woman and you still want that purple shade of hair, you can have it."
She clapped her hands again as if that color makes her really happy.
"It's still a long way before it happens but I'm willing to wait, Mommy. Sure po ako na magiging kasing pretty mo ako kapag big girl na ako."
I smiled sweetly. "Of course."
She continued drinking her orange juice. Maging si Alexandre ay inabala ang sarili sa pagtitig sa chocolate cake na nasa harapan niya.
Sinong mag-aakala na dadating ang pagkakataon na hindi ko na kakailanganin mailang sa kanila sa tuwing makakaharap kami ng ganitong kalapit? I just dreamed of this moment where I can take them out and buy them anything they want.
Within a year of being with them, I realized that it's hard to become a full time mother but the happiness I feel is more than priceless. It's out of the world. I can't even define it whenever they call me mommy. Or whenever they kiss me goodnight.
Mahirap dahil ako lang mag-isa. There are some moments at night that I wish him to be here. To be with us so we can be complete but I know it's not that easy.
Nung siya ang iniwan kong mag-isa, alam kong mas higit pa sa akin ang naramdaman niyang hirap. Habang madali na para sa akin ang patulugin ang mga bata tuwing gabi, I wonder how exhausted he was during those times that he needed to make them sleep at night knowing that they were still new borns.
Pagod sa trabaho. Walang masiyadong tulog. Magdamag na nagbabantay sa mga anak namin.
I heard that he never hired someone to take care of the twins even if he's at home. Kapag wala siya, nasa mga magulang niya ang kambal. Bago umuwi, dadaanan ang mga ito at iuuwi. Aalagaaan hanggang sa makatulog.
Ilang gabi ang nagdaan na ganoon siya? Pero ni isang reklamo, wala silang narinig mula sa kaniya.
I didn't have the chance to tell him about this before but... I'm proud of him, and I'm hoping that he's living the best of his life right now.
"Good afternoon, Miss Priscilla. Shopping for the kids again?" it was Sydney, my branch manager here in Makati.
"Yes. How is the sales doing these past few weeks?"
Inilalayan kong makaupo ang kambal sa couch na naroon at hinarap ang manager. I've been back to managing my own comapany months ago. Malaki ang naging pasasalamat ko kay Mommy na hindi niya ito pinabayaan nung ilang taon akong nakikipaglaban sa sakit ko.
Now that I am feeling better, it's just right to go back on track and reign over my empire again.
"Much better, Miss Priscilla. Pumatok po iyong mga new designs na inilabas noong nakaraang linggo. Sold out po kaagad lalo 'yung mga casual dress natin."
Ngumiti ako, masaya sa nagiging lagay ng kumpanya nitong mga nakalipas na buwan. I was also inspired to design new dresses.
Maging si Alexene ay tila nakuha ang ganoong hobby ko dahil may talento na rin siya sa pagguhit ng mga damit. Kaya naman naisipan ko na sa kaniya ipangalan ang mga damit na pambatang babae. At kay Alexandre ang panglalaki.
"Great. Keep up the good work. Ipapasyal ko lang ang mga bata sa loob." sabi ko.
Tumalikod siya matapos magpaalam. I took that chance to bring the kids inside the shop. Just like the usual, Alexene was hyper while looking at the display.
"Mom! This is the dress that I designed!" she exclaimed.
Halata ang kilig sa kaniya habang pinagmamasdan ito. Natatawa akong tumango sa kaniya habang hawak ang kamay ni Alexandre.
Nang matapos mamili sa boutique ay dumiretso kami sa salon. Alexandre was sitting on the waiting area while holding a book. He already knew how to read at an early stage and I couldn't be more proud of him.
Kami ni Alexene ay nakaupo sa silya at magkatabi rin. We will be having haircut. Hanggang sa balikat ang sa kaniya, ang sa akin naman ay hanggang bewang.
Since my hair grew back, I just let it grow longer than the usual hairstyle I had before. I appreciate the beauty of hair after battling cancer. At ngayong masiyado nang mahaba, hindi ko rin gustong paiksian. Iyong tama lang at babagay sa akin.
"Ang ganda ng buhok mo, ma'am. Gusto mong kulayan natin? O, kaya ay digital perm?" alok nung baklang stylist.
Umiling ako at ngumiti sa kaniya. "No, thank you. I preferred it this way."
No chemicals. All natural.
Kung dati ay palagi akong nagpapakulay at hinahayaang pakialaman ng mga stylist ang buhok ko, ngayon ay masaya na akong natural na itim ito at tuwid.
"Sige po. Gusto ko lang po sabihin na ang ganda-ganda mo po. Kamukha mo po 'yong paborito kong singer. Iyong si Dua Lipa nung hindi pa siya wild. Kilala mo po?"
Pasimple akong natawa. Wala namang hindi nakakakilala sa kaniya. Pero marami na rin ang nagsasabi noon sa akin.
"Mommy, I'll take a picture of you with your new haircut!
Kinuha ni Alexene ang cell phone niya at siya mismo ang nagtapat ng camera sa akin. We were still sitting on the chairs of the salon. Katatapos lang gupitan at hindi pa nakakatayo.
"I'll send it to Dad because he's asking a picture of you."
Nawala ang ngiti sa labi ko, ang puso ay mabilis na tumibok.
"W-What?"
She continued capturing me despite being unprepared. Nasisiguro ko na hindi na rin maganda ang itsura ko sa mga pinagkukuha niya pero patuloy pa rin siya.
"We were texting each other earlier. I told him that we would be having our hair cut. Sabi niya po he wants to see your picture so I'll send him one."
Hindi ako nakasagot. Sinabi ni Terrence 'yon?
"You can just see each other naman kasi why need to send pictures pa." nakangusong patuloy ni Alexene habang nakatingin sa cell phone niya.
Hindi ko na nagawa pang ituon ang atensyon ko sa kaniya. I can feel the rough beating of my heart playing along with my deep breathing.
For a year, we don't have any communication. Hindi na rin kami nagkikita pa. Kapag kukuhanin niya ang mga bata ay iniiwan ko na ang mga ito sa bahay ni Mommy. Kapag ibabalik niya, doon niya rin ihahatid.
Minsan nang nagtanong si Alexene kung bakit ako na ang nakakasama nila at hindi si Terrence. Hinayaan kong siya ang magdahilan sa mga bata.
He told him that he would be busy with work. Na kapag may pagkakataon ay kukunin niya ang mga ito. Nga lang, nang minsan itanong ni Alexene kung bakit hindi kami tumitira sa iisang bubong ni Terrence ay hindi ako nakasagot.
"It's an adult thing you won't understand." It's Alexandre who saved me from that moment.
Nakuntento na kami ni Terrence sa ganoon. Tanging ang mga bata na lang muna ang ugnayan. Wala na rin akong balita sa kaniya dahil mas minabuti kong isara ang komunikasyon naming dalawa. As much as possible, I don't want to hear any news about his personal life. Baka masaktan lang rin ako.
Pero madalas, naghahangad ako na sana ay magkita kaming muli... at bumalik sa dati. Kasi hanggang ngayon... siya pa rin.
Pero kung hindi pa ipahihintulot ng tadhana, hindi ko rin ipagpipilitan.
"There! I already sent your pictures to Daddy, Mom."
Napatuwid ako mula sa pagkakaupo nang sabihin iyon ni Alexene. She was staring at me while smiling.
"What picture did you send?" kinakabang tanong ko.
"Everything?" she giggled. "They all look good naman."
Nahigit ko ang hininga ko habang titig na titig sa kaniya. It was then her phone played a beeping sound. Tumungo siya at tiningnan iyon.
"It's Daddy!" she said that had me focused my attention on her. "Oh! He's so sweet."
I craned my neck sideway and straightened my back.
"W-What did he say, anak?"
Giggling, she showed me the screen of her phone. Kinuha ko ito sa bahagyang nanginginig na mga kamay at tumungo para basahin.
"Don't tell Dad that I'm letting you read his message po. Kasi it's a secret between us lang, Mom."
Isang beses ko pa siyang tiningnan bago huminga nang malalim at binasa ang kung ano man na mensahe ni Terrence.
Daddy:
She didn't change. Your mother is still as beautiful as I remember her back when I first saw her. Kiss her for me, princess.
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