Holding her hand with entangled fingers he walked towards the door of the home followed by his wife whom he was almost dragging along. "Ammi, see, I've a surprise for you. Your daughter-in-law." Daniyal announced as if he was introducing his wife to his mother for the first time and Shifa slightly glared at him to drag her along like a dummy.
"Assalamualaikum Ammi," Pulling her hand from Daniyal's grip she stepped towards the sofa where the old couple was sitting.
"Waalaikum as Salam. How's Anwar Bhai sahab?" Asked Mrs Kazmi and Shifa nodded with a big smile, "he's fine and he'll be more fine because Hamdan bhai is here and now papa is spending all his time with his granddaughter, I guess she is the only child After Bilal who's making Papa smile." Shifa sat down beside her mother-in-law while passing this news and Mrs Kazmi smiled dreamily. Only she knew how badly she wanted to play with Daniyal's kids, and spend her time with them.
"I was missing you Ammi. Now I don't feel comfortable in that home... It seems like I never lived there." Shifa muttered and Mrs Kazmi looked at Daniyal. For the last five days she was noticing her son calling Shifa then smacking his forehead while remembering that she's not home, the way he was taking a single sip of tea then leaving it while saying now I don't like tea other than Shifa's hand was clearly indicating she knew her son was missing his wife too much.
"Hmm... Hum sab bhi aapko Miss kar rhe the, aur pta hai sabse zyada kon Miss kar rha tha aapko?" Mrs Kazmi asked and Daniyal smiled as he was sure his mother was going to take his name but...
(Hmm... We all were also missing you, and you know who was missing you most?)
"Badi Amma." Mrs Kazmi revealed and Shifa slightly giggled in disbelief. "She was most hurt to see you in tears." Shifa blinked blankly. She couldn't believe that the lady who doesn't let a single chance go to scold her was missing her most. But deep down she knew that Badi Ammi loves everyone, she just needs some love in return.
"I'm going to meet her," Shifa smiled and Mrs Kazmi nodded. "Hmm... Meet her, Then she'll go."
"What? Where?"
"She's going back, I completely forgot to tell you." Daniyal muttered Instead of replying she stood up and looked at Mrs Kazmi then at her husband.
"Ammi... Badi Amma kaha jayengi, Aap unhe yahi rook lijiye na." Shifa suggested and Mrs Kazmi shrugged.
But... where will she go? Why aren't you stopping her?)
"Maine aur aapke baba ne to kaha tha unse ki kuch din aur ruk jaye lekin wo jana chahti hain."
(I and your baba told her to stay for some more days but she wants to go.)
Shifa thought for a moment then walked towards badi Amma's bedroom, the old lady was stuffing her clothes in the suitcase and gathering her belongings. "Assalamualaikum Badi Amma."
"Tum wapas aa gyi? Waalaikum as Salam." Asked Badi Amma with a big smile and Shifa nodded while stepping towards her, she slightly bowed her head and badi Amma patted her head.
"Aap ye sab kya kar rahi hain?"
(What are you doing badi Amma?)
"Wapas jaane ki tayyari." The old lady replied sadly and Shifa blinked blankly.
(Preparing to go back.)
"Kaha jayengi aap?"
(Where will you go?)
"Dekhti hu... Jaha qismat le jaye." There was sorrow in her voice and Shifa shrugged her shoulders.
(Let's see... Wherever destiny takes me.)
"Lekin aap jaa hi kyu rhi hain? Kya aap hum se phir se naraz ho gyi?" Leaving the clothes for a moment Badi Amma watched Shifa and her questioning eyes.
(But why are you going? Are you again offended by us?)
"Naraz nhi hu, main Bohot din theher gyi, mehmaano ko jaldi chale Jana chahiye." She muttered and Shifa found a part of herself in Badi Amma's place. She lived in her paternal home for almost 25 years but never felt like a home... She felt like a guest who wanted to go back to her home to get the peace she deserves but unfortunately she had no home... Just like Badi Amma.
(I'm not offended, but I'm already staying here for a while, guests should go back soon.)
"Badi Amma aap nahi jaaiye, yahi rahiye na hamare sath... Aap mehmaan nhi hain ye aapka ghar hai." Shifa demanded and her eyes filled with tears... Maybe she was giving the amount of love and hospitality she wanted and Badi Amma forgot to blink for the next few moments. It was the first time when someone was asking her to stay more... She knew herself how hard and harsh she was specifically with daughter-in-laws but here Shifa was showing a reaction opposite to the expectation. Everyone feels happy when Badi Amma leaves but here Shifa was crying! Maybe that's the first time when this old lady was melted by a gesture of love but she didn't want to show up.
(Don't go badi Amma, stay with us only. It's your home too, you're not a guest.)
"Shifa, why are you crying?" Mrs Kazmi, who came to help Badi Amma in packing, asked when found her crying. For a moment she thought that Badi Amma had scolded Shifa but she was unable to believe in the reason behind Shifa's tears... She wanted badi Amma to stay with them permanently? Really? No one was ready to tolerate that lady for more than a week but this girl's demand was enough to be digested.
"Achha tum roo nhi, main abhi nhi jaa rahi." Badi Amma caressed Shifa's head and she couldn't help but flew some more tears.
(Stop crying, I'm not going.)
"Badi Amma, don't go, just stay here with us." She muttered and the old lady nodded.
"Ab tumhare abbu ki tabiyat kesi hai?" Badi Amma asked and Shifa slightly nodded.
(How's your dad now?)
"He's better but not completely alright, please pray for my papa." Shifa muttered
"Fikar na karo, theek ho jayenge wo." Badi Amma was consoling Shifa, this was another rare scene. This time Shifa didn't stop there, she took back steps and soon left the room.
(Don't worry, he'll be fine.)
"Khatija ye heera kese mil gaya tumhe?" Badi Amma asked and Mrs Kazmi just shrugged. She really didn't know what good deeds her son had been doing for which he has gotten this reward. Pious Wife: One of the best rewards from Almighty.
(Khatija how did you get this gem?)
Before this discussion could be stretched more Shifa was again standing on the doorstep of Badi Amma's room. She helped the old lady in settling her luggage back and from a distance Daniyal kept watching her with some intense thoughts.
"Shifa~"
"Ji Deni?" She asked and bite her lower lip when noticed Badi Amma seeing her with disappointment. "I... I mean... Kazmi Sahab." Mumbling that she walked out of the room and Daniyal looked at the door of their bedroom, before walking towards it. That was a silent gesture that he wanted his wife to come to the bedroom. "Yeah Deni?" Stepping into the room she asked and Daniyal locked the room.
"Idhar aao." Holding her hand he pulled her towards the bed and sat down with dangling legs.
(Come here.)
"Hmm" sitting beside her husband she nodded. Daniyal held her hands and looked directly into her eyes. Shifa couldn't help but smiled, lifting his hands in air she kissed the back of his hands one by one. She was expecting some gesture of love in return but Daniyal's blank face stay untouched by any kind of expression.
"Kya hua Deni, aap preshan kyu lag rhe hain?" Shifa asked but Daniyal open his arm in reply, she silently placed her head on his chest and he wrapped his arm around her shoulders. For a few moments she waited for him to say something but he never said anything.
(What's wrong Deni why are you looking worried?)
"Deni. Say something."
"I'm proud of you Shifa. You're such a great daughter." Without breaking the hug he whispered and Shifa smiled before wrapping her arms around his chest and closing her eyes. "It's all because of you Deni..." She muttered, her voice holds an ocean of respect and truthfulness which wasn't hidden from her husband.
"No, it's all because of your kind hearted nature." He embraced her even more closely than before and Shifa just inhaled his fragrance silently. At this moment she didn't know what was more important for her his sweet fragrance or his kind words... But she missed both equally. For a moment she felt the urge to let him know about her feelings but she stopped herself. Now she wanted her husband to understand her value in his life and confess it. "Deni."
"Hmm?" He hummed and she separated herself from Daniyal's grip and slowly placed her lips on his cheek. "Thank you for being with me in every up and down."
"Always!" He muttered with a smile which was looking like a burden on his lips. This small kiss brought a smile to his lips but was unable to lighten his heart.
Shifa felt guilty one more time.
Was he tensed due to giving money to Shifa?
This was the only thing which was killing her from inside. Her one guilt was removed by giving money to her father but another guilt captured her heart by borrowing money from her husband. Leaving Daniyal's hand she walked towards her cupboard and drew out a pink coloured plastic folder which was hidden in between her clothes.
"Deni, keep them. Now it's yours." Passing the papers of her long term savings she muttered and Daniyal glared at her then snatched the folder from her hand before putting it on the nightstand with a thud.
"Ziddi aurat."
(Stubborn woman.)
"Achha na, aap gussa na ho. Achhe nhi lagte gusse mein."
(Oh c'mon, this angry face doesn't suit you.)
"Kuch baat karni hai aapse." Daniyal held her wrist and Shifa again sat down beside him.
(Wanna talk to you.)
"Boliye." With a big smile Shifa nod her head and Daniyal took a deep breath while opening the drawer and drawing out an envelope from it.
(Say.)
"Kya hai ye?" Without bothering to glance at the other side of the envelope which was showing her own name and an address, Shifa muttered and drew out a letter from the already open envelope.
(What's this?)
Dear Shifa...
With every next word of the very letter her smile was converting into fear and anxiety. Each word seemed like it was written with the ink of pain which anyone could feel. Pressing her lower lip in between her teeth she folded the paper and put it back in the envelope before taking a deep breath.
"Chai piyenge?" With a big smile she asked her husband who was unable to judge her emotional state for the first time.
(Wanna have some tea?)
"Kya?" Daniyal questioned in disbelief.
(What?)
"Kya ho gya hai Deni? Aap hi to keh rhe the na ki aapko mere hath ki chai bohot pasand hai, bana du aapke liye?" she didn't wait much for his reply. Daniyal saw her taking steps towards the door of the room and she left him alone in the room as well as in dilemma. He wasn't expecting this behaviour from his wife. She was behaving as if she didn't read that letter or as if it wasn't anything which could affect her mind or heart but he didn't know how this strong little woman was holding herself together.
(What's wrong with you Deni? You were missing the tea made by me... Should I make one for you?)
As soon as she stepped into the kitchen her tears unveiled themselves and she pressed her mouth with her palm to suppress the crying voice.
"Shifa Bibi, aap roo rhi hain..." The maid who was coming to the kitchen asked but Shifa shook her head.
(Shifa Bibi, are you crying?)
"Nhi... wo to bas..." she rubbed her eyes with the back of her palms and sniffled while looking here there, "Areyy, ye kya haalat kar rakhi hai kitchen ki? Main jab bhi kaam karti hu hath ke hath bartan dhoti rehti hu... Itna dheer nhi lagne deti." Shifa hid her tears as usual and picks up a sauce pan from the shelf. But her hands didn't dare to fill it with water as the words of that letter were echoing in her mind in the voice of her father. She met her years back, that too just for a few minutes but she was unable to forget his voice and face, otherwise she forgot the new faces very soon.
(No, it was just...)
(Oh God, just look at the condition of kitchen! I never let the sink pile up with dishes.)
The old lady didn't do the dishes but took silent steps towards Daniyal's bedroom and soon he was standing beside Shifa after getting the information that she was flowing tears.
Gesturing maid to leave he sighed looking at his wife's back. "Shhh...." He wrapped his arms around her waist from behind and took her in his embrace. "You can't cry so easily. You're my strong woman."
"I'm not strong enough to handle everything, Deni I'm very weak and broken." She turned her side to face Daniyal and rested her head on his chest before breaking down in tears. Daniyal caressed her back and somehow managed to take her back to the bedroom.
"Shifa, wo aapke Walid hain, unhe aapki zarurat hai." Sitting besides her he muttered but Shifa suddenly looked up at Daniyal. For a few moments she was unable to say something but then collected some suitable words to answer him.
(Shifa, he needs you. He's your father.)
"Waalid? Sach mein?" Asked Shifa with disappointment and Daniyal again saw the same Shifa who knew how to hate someone.
(Father? Really?)
"Deni, main kisko apna Walid maanu, us aadmi ko jo mere liye sab kuch kar rahe hain, wo bhi bina zahir kare ya us aadmi ko jisne mujhe kabhi apni beti ka darja bhi nhi diya." She was disappointed and broken at the same time.
(Deni, whom should I consider my father, the person who silently bearing pain for my happiness or the person who never accepted me as his daughter?)
"Shifa meri baat samajhne ki koshish kro, main maanta hu jo kuch bhi aapke sath hua ho bohot galat tha, lekin ab aap bhi wo hi kar rhi ho jo unhone kiya tha. Unhone apni beti ki zimmedari nhi uthayi, aur ab jab unhe aapki zarurat hai to aap apni zimmedari se muh mood rhi ho. Aap is baat ko nakaar nhi sakti ki wo aapke Walid hain, aapke walidain ki talaa ke bawajood wo aapke Walid hi rahenge." Daniyal told her everything while very softly cupped her face but Shifa shook her head.
(Shifa, please try to understand my point, I know whatever happened with you wasn't acceptable but you're doing the same thing as your father did! He should take care of his child but he didn't, and now you should take care of your father but you're looking away from your responsibility. You cannot deny the fact that he's your father, even if he divorced your mother, he is still your father.)
"Unhone mere baare mein kabhi nhi soocha, phir main kyu apna waqt unke liye barbad karu?" Asked Shifa with pain not with anger.
(He never gave a thought about me then why should I waste my time for him?)
"Maaf kar do unhe." Daniyal demanded one of the most difficult things he could ask for and Shifa suddenly looked up at him in disbelief. She wasn't expecting her husband to come forward with this wish. She could be angry but her expressions changed and she shrugged her shoulders.
(Forgive him.)
"I already did, when mumma told me to forgive him."
"Dil se maaf kro Shifa, aapka Dil saaf nhi hai unki taraf se." Daniyal muttered in his deep voice and this time Shifa huffed while pushing his hands away from her face. Everyone has a limit to tolerate and this girl already crossed it by now. She didn't want to listen the name of the man who was her father, but Daniyal was forcing her to forgive him.
(You still have grudges against him, Forgive him from the depth of your heart.)
"Kitne araam se aap log keh dete hain maaf kar do, bhul jao... Kya maaf kar dena aur bhul Jana itna asaan hota hai?" The girl who was claiming to forgive her father till a moment back suddenly unveiled her feelings in front of her husband. Frustration and anger were peeping out from the curtains of her words which weren't hidden from the wise man sitting in front of her.
(How easily you people say to forget and forgive. Is it so easy?)
"Mene kab kaha asaan hota hai, kisi ko maaf karna bohot mushkil hota hai, lekin Allah ki Raza ke liye agar aap kisi ko maaf karogi to uska ajr aapko Allah ki taraf se hi milega. Maaf kar do unhe, aur ek baar un se mil lo... Jo unhone aapke sath kra Allah ne uski saza de di hai unhe, ab aap apne farz se muh mood ke khud ko gunahgaar na banao." He pulled her in a side hug and patted her back lightly while whispering everything in a hushed tone. He himself didn't know what magical spell he had blown on his wife that melted her heart every time.
(When did I said it's easy? Forgiving is very difficult, but you'll be rewarded if you forgive someone just to please Allah. Forgive your father and meet him for at least once. He has been getting punishment for whatever he did by ignoring his responsibilities and now you're also going to do the same by ignoring him. I don't want you to be like him.)
"Deni..." She shook her head and this time she had a wave of fear in her eyes. "Hmm?"
"Please don't force me. I don't want to go."
"I'm not forcing you, I'm telling you the facts. Decision will be yours." And he removed his arm from her shoulder before standing up from his place. Shifa was confused for a moment then realised that her husband wasn't looking happy with this decision of hers. He was standing in front of the study table while trying to pick up a book to read but Shifa could feel his disappointment which was killing her from inside.
"Deni aap mujhse naraz ho gye?"
(Deni, are you offended with me?)
"Nah..." Without bothering to glance at her he replied and picked up a book from the different coloured ones. Shifa was waiting for him to come to the bed and sit beside her but he laid down on the couch. Her eyes dropped two tears and her feet automatically moved towards her husband. Kneeling on the carpeted floor she placed her hand on his arm and pulled his shirt lightly. "Don't ignore me." She muttered and Daniyal turned towards her to see her tears and red eyes. "Please. I have been tolerating Papa's ignorance since childhood, now please you don't do the same... Please Deni. What's my fault in all these things? Why do I get punished every time?" She asked trying not to cry but she had no control over her emotions anymore. Daniyal didn't want to make her cry like this. It's true that he was disappointed by Shifa's decision but he didn't want to hurt her ever.
"Oh.. Shifa, I'm not ignoring you at all." He sat down on the couch and pulled her by her arm before embracing her protectively. "I'm not ignoring you, idiot."
"Then what's this Deni? You're sleeping on the couch not on the bed, you're not talking to me just because of those letters! What should I name it if not ignorance?"
"Shifa, meri baat samajhne ki koshish kro, mene bohot koshish ki lekin uske bawajud bhi main us dar ko nazarandaaz nhi kar saka jo un khutut mein waazeh hai. Mujhe kuch waqt lagega ye sab bhulne mein lekin mujhe samajh nhi aa rha aap itni pathar dil kese ho sakti ho?"
(Shifa please try to understand me, even after trying I'm unable to ignore those letters. I know you're not ready to forgive him but I'm also unable to forget the pain I'm reading in those letters. Please give me some time to get out of it. But how can you be so stone hearted?)
"Main pathar din nhi hu, bas mujhe dar lag rha hai." Shifa muttered while pressing her lips together to control her crying voice and Daniyal grabbed her arm, he slowly pulled her to make her sit beside himself.
(I'm not a stone hearted person but I'm afraid)
"Bataogi mujhe, kis baat se dar lag rha hai aapko?" This time his voice was softer then before, Shifa couldn't help but get ready to put her heart out in front of him one more time.
"Mujhe dar lag rha hai... Jab bhi unka naam aata hai meri life me kuch bura ho hota hai... " She cried helplessly and Daniyal sighed while shaking his head.
(I'm afraid. He brings pain in my life.)
"Shifa, dukh-sukh, Khushiyan-pareshaniyan to har ek ki zindagi mein aati hain... aap kab tak bhagti rahogi in sab baato se? Ek baar nidar ho kar saamna karo har pareshani ka." she didn't trust his statement. It's not like she didn't want to buy this time her heart wasn't ready to accept the trustfulness of his words.
(Shifa, ups and downs are an inseparable part of our lives. For how long will you run away from them? For once, face them.)
"Mujhme himmat nhi hai aur pareshaniyan jhelne ki. Main tut chuki hu."
(I don't have the courage to face more problems, I'm already broken.)
"Main hu na! Har baar aapko sambhal lunga. Aapko tutne nhi dunga." He assured the already broken lady who was sitting beside him.
(I'm always here to handle you, I won't break you down.)
"Isi baat ka to dar hai Deni... Agar aap badal gye to?" She was unable to hold back her emotions anymore. Daniyal literally threw himself backwards and sighed while closing his eyes. Shifa was only seeing his for the next few minutes but he didn't move or say anything.
(That's my fear! What if you will be changed?)
"Deni?" When his silence pricked her more than enough she muttered his name and he opened his eyes. "Shifa aapko lagta hai main aapke Walid se milne ke baad badal jaunga?" He asked with another level of confidence that Shifa will reply with a clear no but not every time expectations wear the outfit of reality, sometimes one have to accept the reality. Shifa nodded without wasting time and Daniyal blinked blankly.
(Shifa, do you think I'll be changed after meeting your father?)
"Sach mein Shifa? Aapko aesa lagta hai?"
(Really Shifa? So you really think so?)
"I feel so. I don't know if it's true or not...but I'm afraid of this thing."
She couldn't be more honest in this relationship!
She couldn't be more transparent in front of her husband!
She couldn't trust this man more than this!
She was putting her weaknesses, insecurities, fears, doubts as well as heart in front of the man who never claimed to love her.
"Oh Shifaaaaa..." He sighed but pulled her by her arm. "Main nhi badlunga. Kabhi nhi." He smiled but she pressed her lips together while her forehead covered with a few lines.
(I won't change. Never)
"Agar badal gye to?"
(What if?)
"Keh diya na nahi badlunga... Bas, nhi badlunga."
(If I said I won't change then it's final!)
Shifa kept watching him for a few moments then slightly smiled and nodded. "Pack your clothes, we'll leave tomorrow only." Daniyal muttered and Shifa gasped.
"Tomorrow? But... What will I tell Ammi and what if Mumma ask me ab..." He didn't let her complete.
"Don't tell anyone about anything, just you and I are going. If anyone asks you about this tell them that we're going to Mussoorie for a few days. Just it!" Daniyal explained, it seems he already planned everything. Shifa nodded while trying to convince her heart that everything will be fine, nothing wrong will take place but her heart wasn't ready to accept it.
"Aap soo jaiye, main thodi deyr mein aati hu." She stood up and leave Daniyal alone in the room, he also didn't ask her again to pack her stuff as he knew she need some time to accept everything and she would feel better after spending some time with other people of family.
Shifa also knew that Daniyal was correct, she was claiming to hate Aatish but deep down she only wanted his love in her life. She didn't want to meet him but deep down she was not at peace after knowing that his health wasn't well. No matter whatever she holds in her heart for Aatish, it was also true that she couldn't remove his seed from her existence.
After spending some time, which was around three or four hours, with her in-laws she came back to the bedroom where she found her husband sleeping peacefully, a handbag was resting alongside of the bed which was indicating that he was fully prepared to leave tomorrow. Taking a deep breath she opened her almirah and drew out some clothes and other stuff but before packing all those things she grabbed the letter and her mobile. There was a phone number on that. Her eyes filled with tears as she dialled the number and placed the mobile on her ear. Even after waiting for a few moments she didn't get a response from other side then she glanced at the clock which was reading sharp twelve of night. For a moment she cursed herself to call someone at midnight but before she could disconnect the call a weak voice echoed from the other side. "Hello."
Her heart skipped a beat. Tears dropped down from her eyes and slipped the cheeks. "Hello." The same voice but this time a bit louder than previous echoed and Shifa parted her lips to say something but what? She didn't know. For the next few moments there was silence on the both sides of the call, but this silence was much more powerful than meaningless words.
"Shifa... Is this you?" The voice which was almost dead till a few moments back suddenly turned alive. "I knew you'll call me. I knew it beta, I knew." And the man on the other side was crying by then so as this girl. The word beta (my daughter) hit her heart no less than a dagger and she cried out but silently. Shifa pressed her mouth with her palm to stop herself from crying, removing the mobile from her ear she took a few deep breaths and controlled herself to cry again. She already knew the art of hiding her tears very well.
"Shifa, say something. Please beta." He bagged and she opened her mouth.
"I'm coming tomorrow." She muttered and cut the call without even knowing if Aatish understood her shivering voice or not.
Packing everything she might need in a handbag she sat down on the bed holding a fear in her heart. Daniyal was sleeping peacefully on her left side, she also wanted to sleep but couldn't. At this moment she wanted to put her heart out in front of the man who became most important for her within seven months of their marriage, but she did not want to disturb him. So she opened the drawer to grab her diary and pen from it, switched on the table lamp and glanced at her husband one more time before placing the tip of the pen on the paper.
Suniye Deni,
Shayad aapko pta bhi nhi hai lekin main jab jab halaat ke bhawar mein phas kar toot ke bikharne hi wali hoti hu tab aap ka sirf itna kehna ki aap mere sath hain meri hammat mazboot kar deta hai... Zindagi ke har us mood par jaha main khud ko akela mehsoos karti thi, na jaane aap kaha se aa gye aur mujhe har baar aesa laga jese Allah ne is had-e-nazar tak pheele huye andhere se ladne ke liye ek roshni ki kiran ko bheej diya ho. Aapse shadi se pehle jab jab Mummy kehti thi ki sab theek ho jayega, mujhe kabhi yaqeen nhi hota tha lekin thodi himmat aa jaati thi aur ab, jab sab kuch sach mein theek ho gya hai mujhe dar lag raha hai... aapko khone ka dar! Aapse dur ho jaane ka dar! Aapka mujhe bhul jaane ka dar... kyuki main jaanti hu aap mere kabhi the hi nhi, aapne jo kuch bhi mere liye kra wo aapki achhai, aapki sachhai, aapki narmdili, aapka baddappan, aapki hamdardi thi... sab kuch aapka tha Deni, bas main hi aapki nhi thi!
Lekin ab sab kuch almost theek ho hi gya hai. Jo theek nhi hua wo bhi Allah Paak theek kar denge lekin ab agar aap chale gye to sab kuch us se bhi bura ho jayega jitna bura us waqt bhi nhi tha jab kuch theek nhi tha. Main aapka intezaar kar sakti hu lekin aapko khone ka hosla nhi hai mujhme! Aapke sath reh kar to zindagi jeene ka matlab samajh aaya hai mujhe, aapke bina mar jaungi... Aur agar zinda bach bhi gyi to shayad zinda laash banke reh jaungi. Mujhse dur nhi jaiyega Deni, please...
Aap ki Shifa
(For translation, see the end of the chapter)
Leaving the pen in between the pages she close the diary and put it in the drawer before slipping down in the bed and turning towards her husband. He was still sleeping peacefully but she was unable to sleep. Removing the clip she open the bun of her hair and let them spread on the pillow carelessly while resting her arm under her head. Her eyes were fixed on the face which was enough to make her feel better, and she one more time felt lucky to have him so close to her in a halal way. Daniyal slowly opened his eyes and again closed them in slumber but his sleepy brain conclude something due to which she again opened his eyes. This time a bit awake.
"Why aren't you sleeping?" His voice was barely audible but she understood. "Nothing, you back to sleep." She muttered and closed her eyes but does Daniyal need her words to understand her feelings?
"Just relax and trust Allah, he has promised goodness for good people... And you're one of the best people I could ever find. So there will not be any harm for you. Understand?"
Shifa opened her eyes and looked at the figure who was wearing an old and loose vest with discolored trouser. His messy hair was not looking handsome unlike the dream guys of novels who look good in every situation.
He could be an ordinary or even below ordinary man for others but for her he was the most important man of her life. This man holds some power, his words hold power, his voice holds some power... His eyes were looking tiny and embedded without his specs still full of truthfulness. She couldn't help but smile a bit and shifted closer to him. "I missed you so much." Just a whisper but enough to make her husband smile too.
"Not more than me." She couldn't believe what her husband said but closed her eyes with a thought How beautiful this fairytale is, in which the princess got her prince!
But the girl with an innocent heart forgot that every fairytale has a witch. Unfortunately, in her tale there were more than one.
=============
=============
=============
Translation of diary
Dear Deni,
I guess you don't even know but whenever the ship of my life is about to smash to smithereens after being stuck in the waves of problems, just your togetherness makes me stronger. In every situation of life where I used to feel helpless and alone you appeared from nowhere and I felt like my lord has sent like a ray of hope in my endlessly dark life. Prior to our wedding whenever mumma said that everything will be fine, I never trusted her, but now when everything is fine I'm afraid... I'm afraid of losing you. I'm afraid to go away from you. I'm afraid of you forgetting me because I know, whatever you've done for me was just your goodness, your truthfulness, your nobility, your sympathy... Everything was yours Deni, but I wasn't yours!
However, everything is almost at its place now, whatever is not will soon get in its place but at this stage if you leave me alone then everything will turn worse than it was ever. I can wait for you but I can't see you going away from me. I learnt the meaning of living after being with you, I'll die if you left. If not die then I'll be converted into a zombie- Alive yet no less than dead. Please Deni, please never leave me alone.
Your Shifa
.........
=========
=========
Author's note...
Hey readers, I know you all are waiting for an update but I am unable to be frequent due to some personal issues. I hope you understand. Moreover my slow internet is not allowing me to reply to your comments, it takes too much time to send a single reply 🥺🥺 so don't feel like this author is arrogant enough to ignore your comments...
Try to understand the situation of this bechari ladki 🤪😅🙈
Bye bye....
Your Author
Naaz Jamal
And... here is the link of the channel i mentioned in last chapter. Go and subscribe
https://youtube.com/@momskitchen__