Bianka: Like, no offense to myself and all, but what the fuck am I actually doing?
[...]
Touya : Is this a good idea?
Touya : Probably not.
Touya : Do I care?
Touya : No.
[...]
Bianka: I said ‘No’ to drugs, but they wouldn’t listen.
Alyssa: What is wrong with u?
[...]
Touya : *spits mouthful of blood onto the floor* You’ve become far more powerful since we last crossed paths.
Dentist: Please stop, there’s literally a sink right next to you.
[...]
Alyssa : *Plays Slender: The Eight Pages*
*Jumpscare*
Alyssa : *Jumps back* OH SHIT, IT'S A WHITE GUY!!!
[...]
Bianka: Two bros!
Bianka: Chillin' in a hot tub!
Bianka: Zero feet apart 'cause we're GAY AS FUCK!
[...]
Alyssa : I'm a nice person, but I'm about to start throwing rocks at people.
[...]
Touya : Yum, thanks!
Kidnapper: *puts more tape over their mouth* I said stop eating it.
[...]
Bianka: Anyone else feel good when their brain releases a bunch of endorphins?
Alyssa : Can't relate.
Touya : Why would my brain release a bunch of dolphins?
[...]
Bianka: Touya noticed only today that they can label their email inboxes, but they took apart their entire bloody laptop two weeks ago.
Alyssa : This reminds me of the Touya who couldn’t turn on the coffee maker, but remembers about 500 digits of pi.
Bianka: I’ll be delighted to inform you that this is the very same Touya .
[...]
How the girls first met:
Alyssa: We're having a baby.
Touya: Oh, cangradu-
Bianka, slamming adoption papers onto the table: It's you, sign here.
[...]
Alyssa : Can we talk about that mass email you sent?
Touya : Why? It was important.
Alyssa : All it says is, "I'm back on my shit".
Bianka, shrugging: The people need to know.
[...]
Bianka, Entering Alyssa 's room: Touya did it again.
Alyssa : Peace disturbance?
Bianka: What no-
Alyssa : Arson..?
Bianka: NO, JESUS CHRIST, HOW MANY-
Alyssa : uh....Attempted murder?
Bianka: NO, SHE ATE ALL THE FOOD IN THE FRIDGE, BUT WHAT THE FU-
[...]
Alyssa : *double checking supplies in the boat* Compass. CB radio. Sunscreen.
Touya : Hot dog costumes!
Alyssa : I’m sorry, what?
Touya : You know, in case we get lost at sea, and one of us, probably Bianka, goes mad with hunger, we’ll put these on. Bianka hates hot dogs, so she probably won’t eat us.
Alyssa : Are you saying that Bianka would rather eat us than hot dogs?
Bianka: I do hate hot dogs.
[...]
Bianka: If you get in trouble, I'm gonna be like... a lawyer to you. Ok?
Touya : Okay.
*later*
Alyssa : Touya ! Sit down on the chair, you're in trouble.
Bianka, whispering: Deny everything.
Touya , loudly: That isn't a chair.
[...]
Touya : *pretending to joke* So when are you going to go out with me?
Dehlia : I don't know. When are you going to ask me to?
Alyssa : And you just ran away?!
Touya : I didn't expect them to flirt back!
[...]
Alyssa : Touya , why is Bianka intruding on our cuddle time?
Bianka: Touya , why is Alyssa intruding on our cuddle time?
Touya , in distress: Please… I have two hands…
[...]
Alyssa : You need a hobby.
Touya : I have a hobby!
Alyssa :: Hitting people isn't a hobby.
[...]
Bianka, to Touya : Look at you! All cute and small! I could just eat you up!
Touya : *proceeds to kick them in the shin and run away*
Alyssa , walking past: Rule number 1, don't call Touya cute or small.
[...]
Touya : How do you know how to kiss? Like who teaches you?
Alyssa : Well it’s actually a class, but unfortunately it’s full right now.
Alyssa : Would you like me to tutor you?
Bianka: That was smooth.
[...]
Bianka, excitedly: Heeyy!!
Alyssa : Hey, someone's excited.
Touya , deadpan: Yeah, and it's making me sick.
[...]
Bianka: I think Touya is in trouble.
Alyssa : Alright. Struggling to give a fuck, if I’m honest.
[...]
Alyssa : You are irrationally angry 365 days a year.
Touya : Well, that’s just your personal opinion, I don’t have anger issues. Do you guys think I have anger issues?
Bianka: Well, I wouldn’t really call it an issue. An issue is something you can fix.
[...]
Alyssa : We all have our demons.
Bianka, grabbing Touya : This one’s mine!
[...]
Bianka: How is spring not everyone’s favorite season? The trees are PINK, guys!
Touya : Allergies are also a problem, y'know.
Bianka: But pink.
Alyssa : And it's hot.
Bianka: PINK!
[...]
Alyssa : Would you slap Bianka-
Touya : Yes.
Alyssa : I didn't even finish!
Touya : Sorry, continue.
Alyssa : Would you slap Bianka for 10 dollars?
Touya : I would do it for free.
Bianka: Rude...
[...]
Alyssa : Fun Fact! The average person will walk by 36 murderers in their lifetime.
Bianka: I like how this is a "fun" fact.
Touya : It's fun because they didn't decide to murder you.
[...]
Touya : Hey, Bianka you're smart, tell me what would happen if I chugged 3 gallons of chloroform.
Bianka: Have you ever been to a mortuary?
Touya : Yea, my grandma lives there.
Alyssa : That is the worst response to that question.
[...]
Bianka: Where are my fucking keys?
Alyssa : Bianka, Touya is around, can you say it a little nicer?
Bianka: May I ascertain the whereabouts of my FUCKING KEYS?!
[...]
Bianka, rushing into the room: It’s terrible, just terrible! I am so upset!
Alyssa : Bianka, honey, sit down! Sweetheart, tell us all about it. Touya , would you get Bianka some water?
Touya : What are they gonna do with water? Has water ever made you feel better when you were upset? Have you ever heard anyone say, “Thank God, the water’s here!”?
[...]
Bianka: What would Alyssa think?
Touya : Ok, that’s an interesting thought, but hear me out: what if… we ran an experiment where we spent the rest of our lives finding out what happened if we never told them?
[...]
Alyssa : Yo dumbass, get over here.
Bianka: Okay-
Touya : *gleefully runs past* I’m coming!
Bianka, sadly: I thought... I was dumbass...
----------------------------
They were just being a little silly today.