Becky's Pov
I didnt gi to school the following day.
I just stayed at my room. Then suddenly i remembered..
My phone.
I hurriedly got up from bed and went to the bathroom.
I tried to open it but i think its battery was drained. i went back to my bed then reach for my charger and plugged it in.
I waited patiently for it to open.
Then i saw my wallpaper. Its freen and i. Hugging each other while smiling so bright.
It was taken on her birth day. We look so happy. We look so perfect. No. We are happy. We are perfect.. yet. We ended up like this. And its all because of me. Because of this weak heart i have.
I opened my inbox and saw freen's messages. I counted them.
total of 18 message.
I read them one by one.
message 1 9:17pm
- becky are you done taking a bath?
Message 2 9:46pm
- bec why are you not replying? are you ok?
Message 3 10:16pm
-becky ? please reply.. Hmm?
Message 4 10:24pm
- becky should i go there?
Message 5 10:34pm
-mom said youre ok. BUT im still worried . Are you sleeping?
Message 6 10:58pm
- maybe you are.. goodnight. See you tomorrow.
Message 7 11:34pm
- bec. I cant sleep. I wanna hear your voice. I wanna make sure youre ok.
Message 8 11:54pm
- i really cant sleep. Im worried . And i have this feeling that something bad will happen tomorrow. Neh im just imagining things right? nothing bad will happen.
Message 9 12:28am
-Becky I love you.
I cant stop myself from crying while reading her mails.
" i love you too Freen." i whispered. I tried to calm myself before reading her mails again.
message 10 5:56am
- Good morning Bec, mom went to work already. And she just left something for me to eat. But i dont like it ..will you bring food at school for me? Thank you😘😘😘
Message 11 6:30am
- youre still not replying.. >__< Beckyy. I had a dream last night. And i hate it. In there you were leaving. You wont leave me right? see you at school. I love you!
Message 12 7:30 pm
- Becky please.. Lets talk again. Please. Dont do this.
Message 13 7:33pm
- It hurts. Why? if you really want to study there then its fine with me. Just dont leave me
Message 14 8:48pm
- why cant i call you? i want to see you but my mom wont let me. Bec. I this really our end? i cant accept it. Not like this!
message 15 9:23pm
- im telling you. Were not done yet Rebecca Patricia Armstrong I know you Still love me .
Message 16 10:56pm
- im not giving up on us Becky. I promise you that. See you tomorrow and we'll talk again. I love you.
message 17 9:34am
- Becky Why arent you at school today? are you ok? lets talk we need to talk.
message 18 10:12am
- im going to your house. We need to Talk. were not done yet Becky.
What? she's coming?? then i looked at my clock. Its already 11:45am.
Then my phone vibrate again. Another message from her.
-Becky I know youre there. I know what youre doing. Do you think you'll hurt me less by doing this? Damn No Becky! Im not giving up on us. I'll Let you off for awhile so you can think about this stupid thing youre doing. But i swear. . i'll prove to you that you are too early to leave me. Mark my words Rebecca Patricia Armstrong.
it made me smile after reading her mail. Youre really amazing freen. You never failed to amuse me.
But then. I made up my mind. This is for the best. Atleast.. I think its for the best.
But somehow. Im hoping that freen mean what she say. Hoping that she wont give up.
" Arrrggghh. What am i saying?" im so messed up. I threw my phone somewhere in my room. And decided to try and sleep again.
Until i heard a knock on my door.
When i opened my door its my mom.
" Bec" she said softly. I know shes worried.
Irin took me home Yesterday. . Because i cant go home alone. i cant even breath properly. They took care of me but didnt ask anything about what happen. I know they are waiting for me to tell them.
But i know. They can feel it that its about me and Freen. They were about to call aunt nan last night but i stopped them.
" time to eat. " she said and i nodded
" Ka, I'll be down in a minute. " then she left.
I fixed my self and went to the dinning room.
we ate quietly which is really unusual.
"Freen went here earlier. Right?" i asked .
They just nodded waiting for me to continue
" its about what happen yesterday. . " i started. I looked at them.
" i broke up with Freen. "
Couple of silence passed then my dad sigh.
" why?" he asked.
" you know why. " i said in a low voice.
" but youre doing fine Rebecca. You dont have to hurt Freen and yourself. " my mom said.
" i can die any time mom. " i said softly.
"please dont say that!" and there she burst in tears . Its my fault again.
" im sorry. But thats the truth!" i said. I don't want to raise my hope so high.
" Becca.. Make up with freen. At this moment.. I think thats the right thing to do. you need her. She needs you. " my dad said.
" you dont understand!" i said now crying. I stood up from my seat.
" Rebecca. "
" i dont wanna see her suffering because of me dad! what if.. What if while were together ..I'll suddenly.. " i can't continue what im about to say. I cant.
My mom got up from her seat and walked towards me. She wiped my tears and caress my back.
" but both of you were still hurting this way. " she whispered.
" this is for the best. she needs to get used to it . So that when im totally gone.. She'll be hurt less .." I said when i finally calm my self.
" Rebecca. Please.. Dont say that. You wont die. youre doing fine. all we have to do is to hope that you'll have a heart donor soon. "
" weve been hoping for six years. And im feeling really bad. For me to live we all are wishing for someone else to die. " i said bitterly.
Its the fact that we cant deny.
someone needs to die for me to live.
After our lunch i went straight to my room and locked myself.
Why does it have to be me?
As far as i know im just a normal girl. But then in just a blink of an eye.. Everything changed ..
And i cant do anything about it .
I decided to go to school the following day. And sat to my usual seat. I was waiting for her .
I missed her already. But when she arrived she sat at Irins seat so when Irin arrived she doesnt have a choice but to sit beside me instead.
" Are you ok now? You scared me last time. Then you didnt go to school yesterday.. Freen was so worried she even ditch our classes.."
" Sorry"
" So.. You two really did end it"
I looked down.
" Are you really sure about this?" she asked.
" I dunno. I was hoping. . Hoping that.. We can really be together. Maybe . Just maybe.. Even after what happened these past couple of days and we can still be ok. That were really meant to be. " i heard her sighed then pat my back.
" You know its never too late ok? I know you love Freen and She loves you.. Just go to her when you already came back to your senses. " she then give me a smile.
.......
The following days became boring.
Freen completely ignored me after her last message to me.
All i can do now is to watch her smile with her friends.
Some guys and girls started to court her. I know that there are lots of student here likes Freen but because im with her they wont dare.
But now that were done its not a surprise For her to have lots if suitors.
" arent you going to--"
" No" i answered before Irin can finish her sentence.
" She can entertain anyone if she wants to.. " i said then walked out of our classroom. irin followed me.
She said she'll be at my place for awhile.
" Becky.. Whats your plan now?"
She asked as she lay on my bed. I then sat on the couch beside my bed while playing my rubix cube.
" attend graduation.. Take Gap's entrance exam. And try to study harder. "
" Hmm.. For the first time you didnt mention her name on your plans"
I stopped rotating the rubix cube. Its true. I always include Freen on my plans. But things are different now.
" I need to get use to it. "
" dont be so hard on your self. If Freen is hurting. Im sure. Youre hurting 2x or maybe more than that." she said then turned her body on my bed Burying her face on my pillow.
" I just need Freen to get over me. And so far.. I can see that shes doing ok. She can live a normal life if im without her. " i said and put down the cube on the side table.
I rested my back on the My couch.
My heart is beating so fast just the thought of Freen not by my side. But i have to endure it.
" Becky "
" hmm?"
" what do you feel now that Freen is out of your life?"
what do i feel?
" i dunno. .. As long as shes happy. Then im fine. "
Thats not true. Ever since Freen started ignoring me.
I felt so empty.
Every time i see her. I want to run towards her and hug her so tight and tell her how much i miss her.
Im so empty with out her.