Alex's eyes diverted to my hands that were holding her elbows. Her brows furrowed looking at them, she probably noticed the bandages.
When her eyes met mine again, there was worry across them, or I am just imagining things?
"Car-"
"I'm... I'm sorry Ms. Williams." I let go of her elbows and walk straight to the elevator. When I pressed 10th, and before the elevator closes, I shot a glimpse of Alex who was still looking at me worriedly.
I didn't know I was holding my breath until I was alone in the elevator.
So much for avoiding her.
When I reached the 10th floor, the people were starting to go back to their offices including my colleagues from the 9th.
"Hey, you're just having lunch now?" It was Tom who was about to jump in the elevator.
"Yeah, just grabbing something."
"Ok, see you downstairs."
"See you." I waved at him.
I actually don't know what I should be getting. I came here to avoid Alex's arrival in the office. But since I failed, I guess I should get something to bring down to my table.
I bought one muffin from the cart and head back downstairs.
I hope she stays in her office the whole afternoon.
As soon as I sat on my seat, I started working again. I was distracted knowing Alex is here in the office but I still manage to deliver my work.
"I heard Alexandra is not feeling well and she was really in no mood today." I heard somebody whisper from behind.
I tried to resist looking back.
"I know, the receptionist is coming up to bring some medicine." The whispers continue.
"She came only for the board meeting and will leave after."
So, she was not feeling well, maybe that's why she didn't come to the office yesterday.
Or maybe also because of your confession.
Did that make her sick to her stomach that she was still not feeling well till today?
Ouch!
I felt what seems to be an imaginary knife stabbing through my chest thinking about that.
I glanced at her door knowing that she was just literally a few steps away from me but it seems like she was a million miles away.
The feeling of emptiness is embracing my whole being. I've known her for a short period of time but why do I feel like living without her would be hell?
Not long when the receptionist from downstairs came and knocked on Alex's door. And when she opened it, I think my heart skipped a beat when our eyes met through the space left by the door. It was just two seconds but it felt like hours.
I missed her.
It just added to the pain she caused me, I shouldn't feel this after she abandoned me after I confessed but only if I can teach my heart
I couldn't read her face, she was just looking at me blankly while I, well, I must look pitiful to her.
Damn it!
My eyes are brimming with tears, threatening to fall, threatening to expose what I was really feeling and what I was trying to fight for days now.
A single tear, glistening like a diamond, escapes the confines of my eye and begins its descent down my cheek, I couldn't take it anymore.
But even before I stood up from my seat to go the bathroom, Alex's door opens again and for the second time, my eyes found hers.
And for the second time, her face doesn't hold any emotion. Her stare was blank, it was like she didn't know me but at all.
How did we end up here? From being almost lovers to being strangers. Why did she lead me on if she was just gonna hurt me like this, if she's just gonna treat me like crap?
Is this what I really deserved? From my Parents to Alex?
As I take a quivering breath, I feel an unfamiliar tightness in my throat. I try to steady myself, to fight back the rising tide, but it becomes an uphill battle. The weight of my emotions becomes too great to bear, and my facade begins to crumble, brick by brick.
As I ran towards the bathroom, I heard Brian's voice calling my name but I did not stop.
And as soon as I entered one of the cubicles, I surrender. I surrender to the overwhelming tide of tears that demand to be set free. My shoulders shake, my breath hitches, and a chorus of stifled sobs fills the air around me.
I am no longer able to hold back the torrential downpour of emotions. The dam bursts, and tears cascade down my cheeks, each drop a testament to the battles fought within my soul.
How I was glad nobody was here and I was able to cry my heart out.
As I sat here, spent and vulnerable, I found a strange sense of peace. It was as if my tears had washed away the burden I had carried, allowing me to breathe a little easier.
When I heard the bathroom door open, my body stiffened, careful not to make any noise.
"Cara? Are you in here?"
I think I stopped breathing when I heard Alex's voice.
What the fuck is she doing here? And why she was looking for me?
"Cara?" The door closes, meaning she was already inside.
Fuck!
Alex started to push the cubicle doors one by one, and even before she reaches mine, I spoke.
"What do you want?" God knows how I tried for my voice not to break.
"Are you okay?" I heard her say.
I scoffed. The fuck she cares now?
"What do you want, Alex?" I made my voice sound firm.
"You've been here a long time, Cara."
"Why do you care?" My voice rose a little though fighting not to sniffle.
"Just... come out, Cara." She demanded.
"I'll be out in a minute, please, go."
There was silence for a couple of minutes before I hear the door open and close, I sighed in relief.
I opened the cubicle door with a tissue in my hand and was about to blow my nose when I saw Alex leaning at the sink counter with her arms crossed against her chest.
What the fuck?
"I just, I couldn't leave..." She whispered.
I blew my nose in the tissue, ignoring her presence. I went to the sink and washed my hands, took a new clean tissue, and wiped the tears from my face.
I look horrible. I thought when I saw myself in the mirror.
I was about to go and pass at her when she grabbed my wrist.
"Cara..." She whispers again.
I braced myself not wanting to give in. I followed what my head is telling me even though my heart was screaming another thing.
I took a deep breath before turning my face to meet her eyes.
Wrong move!
As I gazed into the depths of her eyes, a whirlwind of emotions swept through my being, leaving me breathless, forgetting what happened, how she hurt me, how much pain I am in right now and all I want to do was to imprison her in my arms and not letting her go.
"... I'm sorry!"
My heart melted at the sound of her cracked voice, totally giving in, I pulled her hand and hugged her.
Her arms automatically flew to hug me back.
She was hugging me tightly not wanting to let me go. As she started crying and with every sob, I felt like my heart is breaking.
"Can you... Can you pack your things and come with me?"
I pushed her lightly just to see her face.
"What?"
"I want to talk to you and... here is clearly not the best place to do that."
I looked at her with my wondering eyes.
"Don't worry, I'll tell David that I need you for something." She freed herself from my arms.
She looked at the mirror and wiped her tears, taking a minute to compose herself before heading out.
But before she did, she spoke.
"Is it okay if you stay here for a couple of minutes before you go? I just, I just don't want the people outside to think of something else, you know..."
My mouth hung open as I watch her leave.
What the fuck was that?
She cried, apologizes, and then treat me like crap, again!
The emotions I felt earlier seeing her cry and everything suddenly vanished and were replaced by anger.
Unbelievable!