WORDS; 2,118.
TO; Yourself, The Reader.
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I got to school early, likely due to an enderwalk. Now, I'm not gonna lie. I, Ranboo, am adopted. Which means I am only part enderman. While my mums are both fully endermen. Or, enderwomen.... We call my sleepwalking an enderwalk, though I am not entirely sure what it is. I really should convince my mothers to get me in with a psychologist, but today it has benefited me!
Because I was so early, I got to watch the sports team playing in the cold morning. Foolish was the one to find me, and wake me. So he got me to sit to the side, got his own drink because I seemed 'out of it' and then ran off to play with a soccer ball.
There was Dream, Sapnap, Connor, Jared, Technoblade and Foolish. From what I could tell, the worst that came between the group was playful banter. So, seeing as there was no morning drama there, I headed off on a walk the moment they opened the doors to students, "Thanks, Foolish!" I waved as he shouted something kind back. I hope the Dream Team doesn't find me as their next prey, if everything Foolish has told me about them isn't some rumour.
I found Wilbur Soot inside the school, putting his bag away. So I decided to pester him about crushes, like teenagers do. I am blending in like the average person! "Hey Wilbur, I heard someone has a crush on you...."
"Who?" He darted his head back in surprise. "Is it Sally?" Wilbur asked, it was as if his whole attention was on me at that second. "...No, but I'll tell you if you tell me who your crush is." I teased, this is when he came off as more hesitant.
"Only if you promise not to tell anyone." I nod to his conditions, knowing full well that I'd write it down in my private News Letters. "There's a list."
I nod again, signalling him to go on. "Sally, mainly... But I fall in love so fast. I like two teachers, a — and I think Eret looks pretty. But I'm not gay, I don't think..." Wilbur goes on, growing more and more ashamed. "I'm just really glad I could get it out to someone. It's always eating away at me, I don't wanna be this way!" Ranboo couldn't help but pull the human in for a hug, it was almost instinct to do so.
"You and I are going to be good friends. Your secret is safe with me, pal." They said as they pulled away from the hug. "Thanks, Ranboo."
The two of us walked around the school, basically doing laps as we spoke. It was like we bonded so fast, Wilbur really is a cool guy! I feel like maybe people don't realise it, because they're so focused on 'who's the strongest', 'who's the smartest' and 'who's the most attractive'. Wilbur may be a smelly weirdo... But he is also sincere and easy to talk to. "You never told me who it is that's crushing on me." Wilbur added. "Um... Anyway, when you said I can't tell anyone —"
"Who's crushing on me?" He repeated himself. "Okay, he's a grade eight. But I don't think I should tell you any more than that, it wouldn't be fair to him." Wilbur nodded in understanding, I'm sure he realised he would not want to be embarrassed by someone exposing his crushes either, so he dropped the subject.
I feel like the topic of this week will be relationships, crushes and whatever else. "Morning!" I tell a teacher as I walk by him in the hallway.
Wilbur huffs out. "I've got P.E. right off the bat..." Ranboo hums in acknowledgement. "That means your class skipped the first P.E. class because last Monday was a school holiday?" Wilbur happily agreed, I hope he found me easy to talk to as well. He seems a bit socially anxious, in my opinion.
"Hey Will, do you know what's up with George? He gives me bad vibes." I asked suddenly as the thought crossed my mind. "He's a, uh. A mushroom head."
"...A mushroom head?" Wilbur nodded back to me. "Drug dealer, and an addict. He's probably the reason Connor got held back a grade, since he's a client." Wilbur looked at me blankly, genuinely confused why my expression had dropped to a shocked one. "That's a lot of shit, Wilbur!"
The sting of my palm slapping over my mouth the moment I said that was to prove for my guilt, "Oh goodness, that's the first time I've sworn in years..."
Wilbur laughed, I rolled my eyes. Monday was fun.
Monday was full of chatter, so I tried to butt in places that I probably didn't belong and pick up and details that I could. I walked by a table with kids named Boomer, Quackity, Purpled and Hannah, they were throwing insults at one another relentlessly. It all stopped when Boomer shouted; "At least my brother isn't a damn teacher!" And Purpled only told him off about that because his brother might hear it.
Now I've got the mystery of which teacher is Purpled's brother to solve! I feel like I've built up a lot of power, just by the start of the second week. I know about a drug dealer, multiple crushes, and I'm only learning more.
On Tuesday, Sapnap and Tommy declared each other as enemies, because Sapnap joked that he was 'actually on Dream's side' when they were playing some dumb game. Honestly, go Tommy for setting that boundary and not going back on his word. I think he's strong.
There's this girl in my class, she isn't too social unless she knows the people really well, from what I can tell. Hannah. That's probably why she hangs out with a teacher called 'Ponk'. They each like gardening, Hannah must have some sort of Earth, or nature ability.
You see, lots of people have abilities at this school. It's rare to find a human around here, unless they're some sort of a hybrid of human and another species.
Because of this, you can obviously tell when certain people are adopted. I'm unsure if it's that way for me.
So far, the abilities I've learned about are; George can most likely grow mushrooms from his skin, specifically his head, which would be why he wears hats and has the nickname of 'mushroom head'.
Wilbur Soot and Tommyinnit are each human, unless they have something they're hiding or something they were taught. Tommy is the type to brag, so there would be no way he could hide a whole supernatural ability. Absolutely not.
Callahan is a hybrid, though he's not half and half as we're often portrayed. Callahan has less human in him than he does reindeer. Theoretically, he may have the voice of a deer, and that's why he's mute. He just doesn't have the vocal capabilities that a human would. Only a theory, though.
There's some brunette grade nine girl, who is clearly part feline. Along with her home group teacher, Ms. Niki Nihachu.
I'll write more about this as I learn more.
This lunch, I accompanied my friend Foolish out to the sports oval. "Foolish, I have a question." I started. "Go ahead." He said, putting on a satirically posh accent. "Why does George always wear a hat? The goggles makes sense, if he's supposedly a —"
"You know about that already?!" I laughed him off, "Wilbur told me."
"Ohh, alright. So yeah, that rumour IS true. Just don't tell the teachers, or anything. Or I'll have to report it to Dream." Foolish warned, not intending for it to be a threat. "Gotta do what you've gotta do."
"George, uh, Gogy. He wears a hat all the time to hide his cute pink cat ears." I let out a huge gasp as I ogled at George for the rest of the day, imagining what he would possibly look like without that hat.
I forgot to write about anything more, so I'll skip to Tuesday and Wednesday. Now, what happened then was a two parter.
Quackity, Karl Jacobs and Sapnap all came together, on Tuesday, they sent out invites to all their friends, saying to meet at the entrance of the school the very next day, which gathered a crowd. "We are gathered here today to witness the joining of three lives," Tubbo said in his most formal voice. The crowd was sent into an ecstatic amount of shock, some exclaiming and cheering about it. "Before we continue, does anyone have any objections?"
Everything went silent for a minute. "Excellent!" Tubbo blurted. "Drista, will you please bring us the rings?" This, almost like schedule, set Drista off to step through the crowd and hand over three plastic ring-pops to Tubbo, the officiant of this wedding.
All four nodded to Drista as a thanks, and she stepped back into the audience. "Sapnap, do you —"
"I do." Tubbo sighed. "Quackity, do you take Karl and Sapnap to be your platonic husbands, to live love laugh together forever?" Quackity replied as he wiped an imaginary tear from his eye, "I do."
"And Karl, do you take Quackity and Sapnap to be your platonic husbands, to do whatever I said together forever?" People laughed. "I do!"
"You all may now hug." Tubbo stepped back with his hands out to offer the rings to the trio. What the hell did I just watch. There was even a teacher endorsing this, Mr. Jschlatt. He was the one to have walked Quackity down 'the aisle' by shouting at kids to move out of the way. I was just too deep in bewilderment of the strange viewing to write it down.
The next day, Thursday, was full of gossip about whether this wedding was romantic or platonic, so I asked the very source of school-wide bafflement.
"So, Sapnap. What's your opinion on your husbands?" I asked in my best interviewer tone. "Well, good sir. They're good men and I think they deserve the best. They are the greatest friends I could ever have." Sapnap was great at copying people's energy. "Ay, thank you good sir. Have a swell day!"
"Ahh, you too!" He shot finger guns at me as I backed away to find both Quackity and Karl at their lockers. "Hey, you two! I wanna interview you!"
The two were excited about this announcement, though they were confused why I wanted to single them out for just a moment. They refused, and had to do it by each other's sides. "Anything he can say to you, he can say to me." Quackity and Karl agreed on. "Alright, alright." I joked back. "How do you two feel about your husbands?"
"Ahh, my favourite guys." Karl said calmly. "They're sexy as shit!" Quackity yelled, making himself, Karl and I laugh. That was a blast.
Friday rolled around, and now Sally was going on to her friend, Hannah and Fundy, about how she was starting to get little love notes from a secret admirer. I have my suspicion on who that secret admirer might be, but from her perspective, it must be fun to be getting these messages.
Now was when I decided to confront Wilbur about it when I spotted him alone in the library. "Hi Will!" I called for his attention. "Mm? Oh, hi. What was your name again?" I chuckled. "I'm Ranboo."
"Right, well then, Ranboo, did you wanna talk about something?" Wilbur closed his book and tried to maintain eye contact, though the enderman in Ranboo had to ignore that. "Yes, actually. It's about Sally." I could see his brown eyes light up with love. "What about her? Is it a good thing, or a bad thing? Did she tell you something?" I waved for him to slow down. "Whoa, whoa..."
"Only a question." Wilbur nodded. "Are you her secret admirer?" Wilbur was thrown off by this, though he definitely felt like he was, he wasn't sure if they were referring to something else. "Yes...?"
"So you're the one who sent her a note?" Wilbur's confusion turned to fury. "What?! I — I mean, what?" He said at a lower volume once he remembered he was sitting in a library. "Yeahhh, um..." The bell rung before I had any more time to explain, so we walked and talked again.
Wilbur was infuriated by the fact his crush may get stolen away before he had his chance, he had his suspicion on who it was as well.
I may have caused some sort of war to break loose between Wilbur and Sally's secret admirer.
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FROM; The News Letter.