Chapter song:
The Lines (Low Gain Mix) by Beartooth
-
When I tell you I'll be fine,
I still want you by my side,
Please just try to read between the lines.
I listen contentedly to one of my favorite songs playing loudly through my speakers as I rinse the conditioner out of my hair, my eyes shut as the lyrics dance through my ears.
Where's my comfort in the undefined,
Please just try to read between the lines.
I finally have a day off after such an exhausting weekend, and I decided to make it a self-care day. I'm taking an "everything" shower before I make some popcorn and watch The Conjuring, my comfort movie, for the thousandth time.
What is the poison inside of me,
The sickness in my head.
I hum along to the electric melody, turning the shower head off and stepping out onto my black bath rug.
Put me to sleep while I find a cure for
The sickness in my head.
I wrap my hair up tightly in my microfiber towel before grabbing my clay face mask from under the sink. I open the jar, and scoop a small amount of the thick, green substance onto my fingers, then apply it all over my face. I breathe in deeply, the smell of papaya flooding my senses. I step out of my bathroom, opening my closet to pull out my black, fluffy robe, and hang up my towel to wrap the soft fabric around my body.
God, I needed this.
I make my way into the kitchen to put the popcorn in the microwave, setting aside a light blue bowl so I can empty the contents of the package into it when it's finished. Humming along to the music still filtering out of the bathroom, I turn on my T.V. to start the movie.
A warm feeling spreads throughout my chest as I finally take my seat on the couch. I haven't done something for me in so long. Ever since I started at Blackhouse, my life has revolved around Harry. If I'm going to be stuck in this fucked up mess with that man, I'm going to have to start setting aside small amounts of time to focus on myself.
As I get comfortable, placing my feet up on the coffee table, my phone starts buzzing next to me. I glance over to see Harry's name lighting up my screen. With a groan, I quickly press decline. Not even ten seconds later, my phone starts vibrating again and, of course, it's Harry.
I begrudgingly pause the movie, whispering a few curse words to myself as I answer the phone.
"What do you want?" I demand. My words come out harsher than I intended but, for once, I don't feel bad.
"Well, good afternoon to you too, princess," he snaps back with a slightly more lighthearted tone than my greeting. "Are you home?"
I raise a brow, unsure of how to answer. It's really none of his business, and the fact that he's calling me to ask makes me very uneasy.
"Why?"
"I need to come over," he tells me, not asks me.
I stay silent for a moment, wondering if I heard him correctly. The warmth in my chest is soon replaced by a sinking feeling.
This can't be happening; not right now.
"Why?" I ask again hesitantly, chewing nervously on my cheek.
"I can't talk about it over the phone," he huffs. "I'm coming over."
Before I can get another word in, Harry ends the call, leaving me speechless with my phone still held to my ear.
Fuck me.
• • •
"Come in," I mumble, standing to the side so Harry can walk into my apartment. He's in a pair of skinny black jeans with rips in the knees, and a white, short-sleeved button-up; the top half of the buttons are undone, exposing his tattooed chest. I swallow harshly at the exposed skin, and the way the jeans hug his legs tightly.
Get it together, Katie.
He positions his black sunglasses on the top of his head as he walks past me, and I close the door, locking it before I follow him to the couch. He takes a seat, leaning against the white leather backrest and crossing his hands behind his head. He looks me up and down as I stand to the side, my arms crossed. I had to wash off the face mask quickly before he got here, but I chose to stay in my robe. I know it's more of a "personal" item of clothing, but he's seen me naked, that's about as personal as it gets.
"What?" I scoff, furrowing my brows as his eyes stay on me.
The stupid smirk that I hate creeps onto his lips. "Nothing," he shakes his head. "Nice outfit."
I roll my eyes at him, and sit on my bed, crossing my legs and tucking the robe to ensure that I'm covered. "What are you doing here, Harry?"
His smirk falters, and he clears his throat before crossing his hands together in his lap. "Look, we uh, we have to go to Jay's tonight," he sighs, looking down at his fingers as he twists the thick rings around them. "He wants to meet you."
My jaw falls open as I stare at him with wide eyes. It hasn't even been three days since our last encounter with Harry's "colleagues," I didn't think something else would happen so soon after.
I lick my lips nervously and begin picking at the chipped, black polish on my nails. "Already?" I breathe. Harry just nods, his lips formed into a tight, straight line. "When?"
"At seven o'clock," he sniffs, pulling out his phone to look at the time. "So, about two hours."
I groan loudly, placing my face in my hands. "Can I just have one day?" I mutter through my fingers.
"What?" He questions. I hear the sound of him shifting on the leather couch, and I look up to see him sitting on the edge of the cushion, his elbows on his knees as he leans towards me.
"Can I just have one normal fucking day?" I snap, raising my voice. His eyes widen slightly at my reaction. "Ever since you came into my life, every day has been a nightmare. I just want one normal day to do something for me."
Harry stays quiet, pulling his lips to the side while his eyes flick back and forth between mine. My bottom lip begins to quiver as hot tears pool over my waterline. Harry notices, and stands up to come and sit on the bed next to me.
"I know," he says softly. He doesn't attempt to physically comfort me or anything, he just sits there, staring down at his hands.
"You know?" I press, turning my head to face him.
"The last month has been an absolute shit-show," he chuckles. "And I- I'm sorry. For dragging you into this, I mean. It was never my intention."
I sit and stare at him, absolutely speechless from the fact that Harry just apologized to me; genuinely apologized.
"But," he sighs heavily, brushing his fingers through his long hair. "You're stuck, and as terrible as it is, there's nothing we can do about it right now."
Of course, he just had to go and ruin it.
I shake my head in frustration, and attempt to scoot away from him, but he grabs my arm gently. "You're such an asshole," I spit.
"It's true, I'm not going to sugarcoat it," he explains, keeping his grip on me. "You're stuck right now but-"
"I fucking know I'm stuck, Harry," I cut him off harshly, and try to pull my arm out of his grasp, but he tightens his grip. "You don't have to keep reminding me."
"Let me finish," he scolds me. "You're stuck right now, but I promise you I will get you out of this. Y-you have to trust me."
My head snaps up to look at him, anger bubbling up inside of me. "Trust you?" I repeat, finally pulling my arm out of his hand; a look of confusion flashes across his face. "After everything you've done to me, said to me, I'm supposed to trust you?"
He takes in a frustrated breath, shutting his eyes tightly and pinching the bridge of his nose. "Katie, you can believe me or not, I don't care," he says shortly. "But it's the truth, and you don't really have any other options."
I bring my fingers up to wipe away the tears that have fallen onto my cheeks, sniffling. Everything is a fucking mess. I thought maybe, just maybe, I could live a normal life after losing my parents and my sister, but I guess "God" or whoever the fuck is deciding my fate, had other plans.
"I- I'm scared, Harry," I admit, the words falling from my lips before I can even think about it.
He looks at me softly, his intense green eyes never leaving mine, and for some unknown reason, I feel safe. I never thought I would admit that Harry Styles, the man that has made my life a living hell for the last month, would make me feel safe just by looking at me. I guess he's the only one I have to run to at the moment, though. That's what it is; I'm settling.
"I-" He sucks in a shaky breath, looking like he's debating his next words. "I know."
I nod softly, biting at the inside of my already-raw lip. I breathe in deeply through my nose, and exhale slowly through my mouth. "What do I have to do?" I mutter, staring down at my hands.
"Jay isn't as scary as Charles," he assures me, standing up and walking back to the couch so he can face me. "He's going to give me more supplies, the stuff I owe Charles, and he's going to size you up."
His choice of words makes my eyes widen, and he quickly shakes his head.
"No, sorry, not like that," he chokes out, a soft chuckle escaping his lips. "He's just going to make sure you're cool, trustworthy."
I nod in response.
"I need you to do the same thing you did on Friday, just do what he says," Harry orders. "He'll probably ask you some questions, do your best to answer them, but try not to give any personal details about yourself; lie if you have to."
"I can do that," I whisper, his instructions seemingly easy enough.
"I won't let anything bad happen to you," Harry says, using the same promise he has yet to break.
~~~~~
13k?!?! What the fuck you guys I can't even believe y'all got Blackhouse to that many reads. Thank you so so much for reading, voting and commenting I appreciate every single one of you more than you know <333