The smells of pungent kimchi and savory spices waft through the apartment as I finish cooking the few dishes we bought ingredients for from the market on our way back home. It's nice having something else to focus on so I won't dwell on the events of the day. After changing into comfier clothes, everyone pitches in to prepare the vegetables for the various dishes while I start cooking.
I'm pleasantly surprised when Anaïse asks to help out with it, explaining that she wants to learn how to cook some traditional Korean dishes. We talk and laugh the whole time, poking fun at each other. And it's even more fun to watch how the guys sit watching us, especially Jae-sung who hangs on her every word the whole time.
Out of the corner of my eye, I notice Jimin licking his lips as I turn off the burner under the kimchi-jjigae, setting the pot in the center of the island, then checking on the rice cooker sitting near the window. I double check the kimbap and japchae, the couple dishes that Jae-sung asked for when we were at the market, as Anaïse sets them next to the pot.
"How did you become such a foodie, Anaïse?" I look over at her as I set the steamed mandu on the other side of the kimchi-jjigae pot. I catch Jimin trying to sneak one off the plate and I lightly slap his hand with a smile and a wink, handing him chopsticks and a bowl.
"When I was stationed overseas, eating MREs was loathsome after having such savory food that Mawmaw made until her dying day. When I moved to New York, I swore I would try everything I could, when I could, and I never looked back," she grins as she picks up her own bowl, grabbing a pair of chopsticks. "I also love to cook, but I'm on call a lot with NYPD so don't really have the time. Plus, living in a studio apartment means there isn't the space needed to get into it much when I actually have down time."
"I've tried different kinds of foods, but not a lot. This," and I wave my hand to encompass our meal, "is what I grew up on. I learned everything I know about cooking from my eomma, and even Ha-eun helps in the kitchen when all of us get together. Soo-ah only does it because it's expected. But come to think of it, she always does the least she can without getting in trouble for being disrespectful. I'm going to miss having those meals with my family..."
I wipe a stray tear that escapes down my cheek at the thought of not cooking with my mother or Ha-eun anymore.
"Who are Ha-eun and Soo-ah?" Anaïse pauses in adding food to her bowl, waiting expectantly.
"They're my sisters-in-law. Ha-eun is married to my eldest brother, JiYeong. The twins you met the other day are their oldest children. She's currently pregnant with another set of twins, which they found out about on our wedding day. Soo-ah...oh man, Soo-ah. What to say about her... She's still my sister-in-law, married to my second eldest brother, HaeYun, but they'd better be getting a divorce as soon as possible. If he takes her back..." I shake my head, anger briefly crossing my face. "They have a son, who's three."
"Why are they getting a divorce?"
"Other than disrespecting our family every chance she's had??" I ask bitterly.
"Um, sure?"
"I guess when they were fighting at the dinner the night before our wedding, it came out that she'd been cheating on HaeYun for the past few years. I wasn't there when it all happened though. She's a very despicable person in general, but that? Nope. Just nope. And then to hit HaeYun for protecting their son? And then...and then, cutting all of my brother's clothes up before she left the hotel...?" My anger is back in full force thinking about that night and I just want to hit something!
"Love...breathe," I hear Jimin's voice murmuring in my ear. I'm surprised to find him standing next to me, hands wrapped loosely around my tight fists. I turn into his chest, burying my face as I pant the hatred away. My arms snake around his body, needing to feel him close to ground me. In minutes, the anger starts to drain away, leaving a numbness.
"I'm sorry," I mutter as I straighten up again, gazing up into his beautiful eyes. Mine flutter closed as he touches a fingertip to my forehead, smoothing it over my eyebrow to caress the pain away at the thought of what Soo-ah has done to the people I love. "She's still a sore spot, I guess."
"It's alright, love. She disrespected our family, and she makes me angry too. I don't think HaeYun will take her back. And if he ever does, I know who will kick his *ss for being an idiot," he grins cheekily down at me, giving me a quick wink when I look at him. "However, I wouldn't have minded finding a dojang to work that frustration out with you again..."
"Dammit guys, stop talking about that!" We laugh when we hear Jae-sung grumbling from the other side of the island. "If you want to have s*x, just tell us! Anaïse and I can eat in our room, or even take it up to the rooftop lounge so you guys can go at it! Damn!"
I turn around to give Jae-sung a long look, my eyebrow quirked up. "Hmmm, I dunno, oppa...I feel like this is just an excuse to get Anaïse alone to have your way with her..." I wink at her, watching them both blush. "Now, if you want us to go elsewhere so we're out of your way, just tell us."
I grin widely as I watch Jae-sung's ears turn several more shades of red and Anaïse's mouth drop open. Turning back to Jimin I wink at him, then reach up to slide my hand into his hair, pulling his mouth down to mine. He tightens his embrace, drawing my body flush into his so I can feel his er*ction hard against my stomach, and food is all but forgotten as his tongue invades my mouth, tangling with mine.
"I'm sorry, love... I shouldn't have started something before you had a chance to eat..." I whisper as I take a breath and look up at him. He just pulls me back in for another toe-curling kiss, not caring that Jae-sung and Anaïse are still in the same room.
"Seriously guys, either take it in the bedroom, or stop what you're doing and eat. While I sometimes enjoy having dinner and a show, tonight is not one of those times because this food is just too good to not pay attention to," Anaïse says behind us, but I can hear the laughter in her voice as she says it.
"Fine!" I huff as I step back, but when I look down, my breath hitches in my throat at the sight. My gaze jumps back up to his, my face flushing but not from embarrassment...
He moves slowly to the end of the island, standing there gripping the counter edge with his eyes closed as I stare at him, wanting nothing more than to do what Jae-sung and Anaïse keep telling us to do, but I'm trying to be logical about it. I need to eat as I already lost the last thing I had today.
I walk around to the other side of the island, making sure not to touch him as I go by because if I do, I know nothing will stop us from heading to the bedroom. Grabbing the knick-knacks that I had set there when packing, I put them back on the end of the empty bookcase. I then bring his stool over and set it close behind him. I grab his food, setting it down carefully where he's still standing with eyes closed. I look behind him at the bedroom, and when my gaze comes back to him, he's staring at me.
"Love, I want nothing more than that right now, but you and I both need to eat..." I whisper to him, clasping my hands behind my back so I won't reach out and touch him. My body is crying out for his touch, his possession, and he knows it. What started as a way to tease Jae-sung and Anaïse has now turned into fiery passion, and we're both suffering for it.
"I know, my love," he whispers back slowly, his eyes saying more than his words. "You've been dealing with morning sickness a lot lately, and that can't be healthy for either of you."
He reaches out and runs his thumb over my cheek, the caress soft and gentle, just like the expression of love I see on his face.
"Are you better now?" I ask as my gaze drops briefly only to fly back up when he cups my face and leans to the side away from Jae-sung and Anaïse.
"I am as long as you don't look down there..." he breathes close to my ear. "Sit with me to eat?"
I look behind him at the stool then back at him. "How? There's only room for one..."
"My lap, love. I need to have you touching me, and I can make sure you're eating." I look down at the stool. Slowly I nod my head as my gaze settles back on his, a smile spreading across his face. "Go grab your food."
He gets the stool situated, settling on it as I grab my things, placing it next to his. Carefully he helps me up on his lap, balancing me across his thighs. Mine is resting on his hard-on, the throbbing and heat from him searing and I try to school my features so it's not too obvious about how wet it's making me.
"Need to stay logical about this...need to eat... Stay logical, need to eat... Stay logical, need to eat..." I murmur to myself while trying to control my breathing. But I can see his smirk as he reaches for the first bite of food, placing it in his mouth and chewing. His eyes get wide as the flavors burst on his tongue.
"Damn, Baby! This is delicious!" he looks at me with surprise, swallowing. Grabbing the steamed dumpling, he bites into that. "Mmmm, love! You are a great cook! I need to call JK now!"
With that, he pulls out his phone, finding Jungkook's number for a video call. He sets the phone down on the counter as it rings, taking another bite. It doesn't take long for it to connect, Jungkook's face filling the screen. His hair is pulled back in a pony, sweat dotting his forehead and running down his face and neck, adding to the wetness darkening his black t-shirt.
"Hello, Jimin hyung! NaeYeong noona! How are you doing? And how is my niece or nephew doing?" Jungkook's face lights up with a smile, the sound of music playing in the background.
"Hello, Jungkookie! They're doing good, so far," I respond as Jimin takes another bite. "And I'm doing good, all considering. I'm ready to be able to keep food down more often though."
"Jungkook-ah, you have to try Nae's cooking!" he says around his bite of food, as he moans again in satisfaction. I smile and chuckle at the sounds he's making. I turn back to Jungkook.
"Do you think he likes it?" I ask with as straight of a face as I can while the sounds Jimin is making are making certain areas of me throb too. The heat rises to my face in half embarrassment and half something else, but no one else needs to know that.
Jungkook laughs heartily as he listens to the sounds that Jimin is making. "Hyung, are you sure you're just eating??"
"Jungkookie!" I admonish as my face heats up even more, this time it's definitely from embarrassment. I watch as Jae-sung comes over and stands behind us, gesturing for Anaïse to join us as she shakes her head with wide eyes.
"Anaïse," I growl to her in exasperation. "Get your *ss over here because you helped make this! It wasn't all me. And you're going to end up meeting the rest of them eventually, so you might as well start now with Jungkookie."
"Who's Anaïse, big sister?" Jungkook asks, confused.
"Oppa, go get your woman and get her over here," I look back over Jimin's shoulder at Jae-sung, giving him the 'or else' look.
"Babe, come over here..." he sighs as she shakes her head again, making him stride over in a couple steps and pick her up, her squeal of surprise making me laugh. He brings her back and sets her gently down as she hides her head in his chest.
"Jungkook-ah, this is Anaïse LaRoux, currently an officer with the New York Police Department. By the end of tomorrow, she'll be working with my company as part of their security department," I say as she peeks at the phone when I introduce her, her face flushed red as she quickly lifts a hand in a brief wave. "And before you ask, yes, there's a story about how we met. She's moving to Seoul when we come home Friday night."
With eyebrows raised high, I can see the speculative look on his face as he looks at each of us, especially from Jae-sung to Anaïse and back again. He nods his head and replies, "I look forward to hearing about it Saturday night during dinner. I assume that's why you called?"
"Yes, Jimin said he needed to call you immediately about the food," I state, looking at Jimin with a smile, who has basically devoured everything in his bowl while we've been talking.
"Jungkook-ah, you have to have some of her food! The flavors...!" Jimin says as he kisses me on the cheek then turns his gaze back to Jungkook.
"What did you have, Jimin hyung? You ate it all so fast I couldn't see what it was," Jungkook laughs.
"Jiminie requested kimchi-jjigae, then I also made steamed mandu. Anaïse helped make the japchae, which Jae-sung oppa requested, and we also made kimbap," I lift up my bowl, tilting it slightly so he can see what's in it.
"Kimchi-jjigae is Jimin hyung's favorite..." Jungkook says as he stares at the food I'm showing him. "Was it as good as your eomma's, Jimin hyung?"
"Don't tell her this, but it was better!" Jimin grins sheepishly, pulling me closer to him as I set my bowl back on the counter. He picks up his chopsticks again and grabs a bite, holding it to my mouth until I open before the sauce drips on me. "Eat, love. Hopefully you can keep this down tonight... I've noticed you're starting to lose a little weight, which I imagine isn't too healthy for you either."
"Have I?" I reply as I chew then swallow. "I guess I didn't really notice too much. There's been so much happening lately. I've always had an unusual eating schedule due to work, so I'm always fluctuating with my weight. Sometimes I even forget to eat because of it. I think I ate more regularly while in Busan for those three weeks. To be honest, it was kind of weird."
"I understand how that goes. But you still need to eat, especially now, love," he says as he holds another bite for me to take.
"Yes, I know," I sigh dramatically as I take it. "I can't help it when my body rebels though."
He kisses my cheek, smiling at me as I take the next bite he has waiting. We look at Jungkook, who has stayed quiet during our conversation.
"So, is there something you would like me to make for dinner Saturday night? Any favorites? Something you'd like to try?" I ask before Jimin gives me another bite. I slowly chew as I watch Jungkook think. As I swallow, I feel the first flutterings of nausea. When Jimin holds the next bite up and the scent of it hits my nose, I can feel that fluttering turn into a whirlwind. I shake my head and purse my lips, needing to turn my head away. He drops the bite back in the bowl.
"Love..." He doesn't get much more than that out before I'm trying to get down from his lap without falling on my face or hurting him in my haste.
"Just keep talking – I'll be back as soon as I can," I say tightly as I land on my feet and run for our bathroom, slamming the door behind me and landing hard on my knees as I grip the sink counter with one hand and hold my hair back with the other.
Once it feels like everything is gone, I flush and lean my sweat dotted forehead against my arm, groaning quietly to myself as the fluttering returns.
"Oh, sh*t..." I moan as I start to dry heave. When it stops, I rest my head back on my arm, my eyes closed. "Sweet baby, you need to let me keep something down...for both our sakes..." I say quietly.
A hand runs down the back of my head. Jimin crouches behind me, his body cradling mine as I lean forward again. Dry heaves make me moan once more, my body shaking from the effort to expel nothing. When it stops, I return my damp head to my arm.
"How do other women go through this without losing their minds too?" I whisper raggedly.
"I don't know, love. Maybe we should call our mothers and ask them what they did," he suggests.
"That sounds like a good idea."
I stiffen as another wave hits and I try to breathe through the feeling slowly. I let out a sigh of relief when I don't feel the urge to throw up though.
"I thought you'd still be talking to Jungkookie about Saturday's dinner..."
"I left Jae-sung and Anaïse to talk to him. He was curious about them," he chuckles softly as he says that. "I put some water on for tea. I asked if they would watch it while I came to check on you. I'm hoping it might help settle your stomach. For when you're ready."
I lean back into him, snuggling a little closer. His arms wrap around my waist loosely, his fingers stroking below my belly button, almost in an unconscious way. After a few minutes, he whispers close to my ear.
"How are you feeling now, love? Do you still feel nauseous?" He feathers a kiss lightly on my temple.
"No, I think the nausea has finally passed," I reply softly as he kisses me again, closer to my ear this time.
"Good. I know it's part of a pregnancy, but it's starting to worry me," he says as he kisses my ear, drawing my earlobe between his lips, nibbling a little first. His tongue slides along the edge of it, causing goosebumps to spread along my arms and down my back. When his lips touch the sensitive flesh behind my ear, the goosebumps dance up my neck and across my scalp, causing a shudder to pass through me. "I really want to make love to you right now, Nae...but we should go back out there. Shouldn't we...?"
Instead of the statement that he probably meant it to be, the last words sound more like a question to me. And I'm questioning myself about it. I grip the counter tighter as he moves the hair from my neck, sliding it to the side so his lips can graze across the sensitive nerve endings there.
My head drops forward allowing better access for his lips to play against the hypersensitive flesh. His fingers rub sensually up my belly, sliding under the fabric of my shirt. The barely there touch makes the muscles in my stomach clench, running down to my s*x. I grab his hand, halting it from moving up. He pauses when I do that, leaning closer to look at me when I turn my head toward him. The look of confusion mixed with something else crosses his face at being stopped.
I give him a soft smile, that turns seductive as I move his hand under the waistband of my yoga pants. The look he has on his face is quickly replaced with satisfaction as he slides his fingers under the fabric of my thong, slipping through the wetness as I drop my head back on his shoulder as his hand cups me.
"Is there any way...to have Jungkookie...let us know...what he wants...text you...because you...need...to come and...take care of me?" I ask breathlessly as he rubs slow circles. "Then I can...brush my teeth...and be...ready...for you..."
Without a word, he slips his fingers into me, making me moan. This time in a good way... His other hand slides across my body to brush my hardening n*pple as he cups my br*ast. His lips go back to feathering kisses on the back of my neck, sucking lightly as my hips move with his fingers. His c*ck rubs against my back, getting hard with the sounds I'm making.
"Baby, you need to go do that...then come back and take care of me...as fast as you can..." I pant, feeling the tingling starting in my core as he increases the speed of his fingers incrementally. "I need you... I need to make love to you. I need to feel you close..."
His lips move down my spine, only to stop at the collar of my shirt.
"Okay, but I need a minute first," he responds as he removes his hands from my body. Kissing my neck once more, he slowly stands up behind me, helping to steady me as I climb to my feet.
I step to the sink, turning on the faucet while looking at his reflection in the mirror, my gaze landing on the b*lge he's sporting. When my eyes rise to meet his own gaze, my hormones go wild. He steps next to me slowly, inhaling the scent of my arousal deeply before placing his hands into the water. He quickly washes, watching me the whole time. When his hands have been dried, he kisses me once more on the neck, the sensuality of his soft lips behind my ear making my eyes drift closed with a sigh.
"I'll be back soon, love," he whispers, and when I nod, he steps out.
I quickly brush my teeth, getting rid of the sour taste. I look in the mirror at my reflection with a critical eye. Jimin's right... It looks like I've lost a bit of weight, my cheek and collarbones a tad more defined. I look down at my still flat stomach, lifting up my shirt and pulling down my yoga pants so I can place a hand over where our child is growing, caressing it.
"We love you, little flower, but you and I need to come to some sort of agreement. When I eat, you need to let me keep it so you can grow strong and healthy. You and I can't keep doing this. My body can't handle not keeping things down."
I raise my gaze back up to the mirror to see Jimin standing in the doorway, listening with a gentle smile on his face. He holds his hand out to me. Dropping my shirt, I turn to him, placing my hand in it. As his fingers curl around mine, he pulls me into his body, his tongue invading my mouth as he kisses me deeply for a few minutes before stepping back.
"I brought you some lavender tea. I'm hoping that may help keep the nausea away," he says as he pulls me into the bedroom, the salt lamp on to chase away the darkness, the drapes open but the sheer curtains covering the large windows.
"Is Jungkookie upset about not talking longer?" I wonder out loud, worried that he may be upset with me for taking Jimin away from him.
"No, he said he understands and had to go anyway because he was at the company when we called. He'll text his ideas for Saturday night," he states as he leads me over to the chair, grabbing the cup of tea from the dresser on the way by.
He sits down, carefully pulling me into his lap as if afraid I may break. Once I'm settled, he hands me the tea and wraps his arms around my body. As I sip, he leans his head on my shoulder, his hand running over my legs slowly. No words are exchanged as I stare out the window toward the buildings between us and Manhattan.
Soon Jimin starts to hum under his breath, his fingers moving in time to the tune. I feel the vibration in my shoulder, traveling down into my chest as I take more sips from the cup, the sound of his voice lulling and relaxing me as much as the tea is.
As the cup empties, I lean back in his embrace, my body languid in his arms. I drape my knees over the chair arm, letting my legs dangle over with my shoulders propped against the other side. He moves his arm from my back, settling it on the chair arm so it's tucked behind my neck, supporting my head.
As he continues to hum lowly, I close my eyes, savoring in the closeness with him. As I relax even more, I feel the cup being removed from my hands and set on the floor next to us. As he straightens up, his hand glides slowly up my leg, over my knee to my thigh. There he pauses, rubbing light circles with barely there touches that create fire along the nerves.
I smile when he starts to sing softly, a child's song, as his hands move up to my stomach. With caressing fingers, my shirt gets pushed up so it's tucked under my br*asts. He trails his fingertips down past my belly button, hooking them under the waistband of my pants to push the material even further down. Once they're where he wants them, he covers my abdomen with his hand, splaying his fingers. The heat from his palm sinks into my skin, making me relax even more, a soft moan leaving my lips at his touch.
"Little flower...you need to listen to your eomma and give her a break, my little one. She needs to keep up her strength to take care of you. And I can't take care of her properly if she can't eat," he says to my tummy, then continues to sing a lullaby. I lay there across his lap, listening to his voice, enjoying the closeness.
When his voice fades on the last note, his lips find mine, soft kisses filled full of love. I lift a hand to slide into his hair as my lips part, the tip of my tongue seeking entrance which he grants with slow, sensual kisses.
His arm lifts me up slightly so I'm sitting more as he pulls me close. Sliding his other arm under my knees, he slowly gets up and walks to the bed, setting me down on the edge. His hands slip into my hair as he continues to kiss me gently. I spread my legs, my arms slipping around his waist to pull him into me. There's no urgency pushing us at the moment, so we explore each other's mouths, the passion simmering just below the surface.
I sigh when he breaks the kiss, hugging me to his chest as I tighten my grip, my ear above his heart as he lowers his chin to rest on my head.
"I love you, Nae," he whispers into the dark room, the salt lamp's orange glow casting dark shadows everywhere. Moisture fills my eyes when his voice cracks on the quietly spoken words. "I love you more than you will ever know, and I worry something will happen to you and our little flower."
The tears brim over and slide silently down my cheeks, some soaking into his shirt while the rest drip from my chin onto my shoulder.
"Jiminie...my love," I breathe out, choking on my tears. He pulls back to look down at me. I gaze into his face, the salt lamp's light highlighting the dampness on his cheek, pain reflecting in his dark eyes. I lift my hand up to caress, to wipe away his tears as mine continue to fall unabated. My heart breaks at the sadness I see, and I want nothing more than to erase it, but I'm not sure how. "My love, nothing will happen to either of us...I promise."
"You don't know that, Nae," he says, his thumbs sliding tenderly across my cheeks.
"I do, because I have a reason to fight...I have two reasons to fight with everything I have. I will always come back to you, no matter where we are. We will always come back to you. I love you more than words will ever be able to express..." I search his face. "Where is this coming from, my love?"
He gazes into my eyes, his brows furrowed for a few moments before he starts to speak. "I'm not sure, but it's just..."
There's a soft knock on the door, interrupting what he was going to say. We both sigh before he walks to the door to open it a little, leaving me to stare out at the buildings through the curtains. I ponder what he was possibly going to say, not really listening to what's being said behind me. I wipe at the tears sitting on my cheeks.
"Love, Jae-sung and Anaïse are asking what to do with the food. Do you want to try some more, or should it be put away?" Jimin asks after he comes back to me. I look up at him, contemplating if I'm hungry or not, knowing I should at least try again.
"Yeah, I should. I need to at least attempt to keep something down," I say as I slide off the bed. He wraps his arms around me, kissing me on the forehead before I lean into him. His body's heat warms me up, comforting as I listen to the beat of his heart again.
In a moment, we move toward the door. When we walk out, I'm grateful that there's only low lighting turned on around the apartment. Walking into the kitchen, I stop to look at the food still sitting on the counter, wondering if any of it will actually stay down. Anaïse hands me a clean bowl and chopsticks, and I place a bit of rice in the bottom, japchae and kimbap on top, and a single mandu on the side. Staring at the bowl, I'm concerned I won't be able to eat all of it even with my stomach starting to grumble with hunger. Jimin comes up behind me to fill my cup with hot water again, dropping the tea ball in to steep.
I kiss him on the cheek, a small smile on my face. Walking to the couch, I curl up in the corner, staring out the windows as I take my first bite for the second time. I'm still thinking about Jimin and what he was going to say, wondering if this has anything to do with whatever dream he was having the other morning...
Jimin comes and sits quietly next to me on the couch, his hand on my thigh as he holds my cup of tea. I'm still staring out the window, eating slowly, and before I realize it the bowl is empty. I'm so lost in my thoughts that I don't realize that Jimin has swapped the bowl with the cup, and I start to drink the warm liquid while letting my thoughts wander.
The next time Jimin sits down beside me, he leans his head on my shoulder and his arm on my leg so his hand rests near my knee. My hand moves to touch the skin of his inner arm, near his wrist, drawing circles with the tips of my fingers subconsciously. When I swallow the last of my tea, I come back to the present, looking around. Jae-sung and Anaïse are nowhere to be seen, the counter is cleared of everything, and Jimin has dozed off. When I gently flip his hand over to check the time on his watch, I see it's nearly ten-thirty.
I hate to wake him up. Especially when he looks so at peace compared to earlier. But I realize it can't be too comfortable with my bony shoulder as a pillow. I kiss him on the head a few times, wanting nothing more than to wrap him up tightly in my arms and protect him from any pain.
"Love," I touch his hand, rubbing my fingertips on his upturned palm a few times until his fingers close briefly over mine in reflex. "Sweetie...Jiminie, my love..."
When he still doesn't wake up, I slide my hand to his leg, stroking lightly back and forth over his sweats-clad thigh, seeing if that will wake him enough to go to bed. After a few attempts, his head moves slightly, a quiet moan escaping through his parted lips. He readjusts his posture, sliding a little further down on the couch. As I continue to caress, his hand moves from my knee to capture my wrist from underneath, shackling it with gentle pressure. I look down at his face, but his eyes stay closed.
As I watch, his hand leisurely moves mine up his leg. Because of how his fingers are wrapped around my wrist, my fingertips brush along the inside of his thigh as he slides his hand up before he settles low on his abdomen, leaving my hand to rest lightly on his stirring c*ck. I bite my lip because now that part of his anatomy is waking, it's causing my own body to stir to life...
"Nae..." I hear him groan softly as his hips move slightly up beneath my hand. His hand lets go of my wrist, sliding up to cover my hand instead.
"Jimin..." I respond softly, feeling breathless at his touch. His hand presses down on mine, as he moves his head up to look at me with half-closed, sleepy eyes. "Let's go to bed..."
He nods, squeezing my hand gently once before standing up. I follow as he walks ahead to the bedroom, placing my cup in the sink then checking the locks on the door when he heads in. Turning off all lights, I finally end up in our room, closing the door softly behind me and engaging the lock. When I turn around, Jimin is already laying down, his clothes discarded in a pile on the floor as if he just dropped them where he took them off and climbed in. I pick up and hang them over the edge of the hamper on my way in the bathroom to quickly braid my hair. When I come out, he's lying on his side facing me. I hear his even breathing indicating he's already asleep, the covers draped low over his bare hip. I pause next to him, squatting down to brush the hair away from his face.
I gaze lovingly at him as I whisper, "I love you, Jimin. So very much. I will always love you in this life and the next. You have my whole heart – you've had it longer than I realized, and it's yours until the end of time."
Standing up, I kiss him lightly on the forehead. Moving to the other side, taking off my clothes, I set them on the chair before sliding under the covers. I spoon up against his back, curling into him and covering us. I drape my arm over his body, my hand running slow circles on his stomach. I kiss his shoulder and close my eyes, still unsettled from his words earlier. I just pray for sleep to be easy and gentle dreams to join us until morning.
*************
I wake in the middle of the night panting, sitting straight up in bed. My heart is pounding, and I'm drenched in a cold sweat, the remnants of the nightmare still filling my head. Scrambling out of bed, the covers get wrapped around my legs as I feel frantic to get to the bathroom. I nearly fall on my face as I make a beeline for the toilet, not bothering with the overhead light and not getting the door closed all the way.
I'm shaking so bad that my teeth start to chatter as I lean against my arm in front of the toilet, trying to calm my racing heart. I can't even remember what the nightmare was about, but the feeling left behind...I know it wasn't good.
Feeling my stomach settle, I flush and get up on shaky legs to run water to wash my hands and face with, trying to get rid of some of the sweat still on my skin. After quickly brushing my teeth, I lean heavily against the countertop, feeling the telltale prick of tears behind my lids.
"Nooo..." The shakiness of that one word whispered into the dark startles me. Leaving the bathroom, I still hear Jimin's deep breathing from the bed in front of me. I pause near him, happy that he's able to sleep well, listening to his breaths yet wanting nothing more than his arms holding tight to protect me from whatever evil is out there.
I crawl back in bed, still shaking and wide awake. Pushing my pillows up against the headboard, I sit with my knees to my chest. I stay in that position for a long time, staring out the window at the lights and darkness through blurry eyes, until the first rays of daylight break. My eyes feel gritty by then, so I lean my forehead on my knees, closing them for relief.
I must have finally dozed off sitting like that, the nightmare coming back. I feel a mix of emotions, anger and worry, then finally fear. Real fear. Fear for our baby. Fear for myself. Fear that has its clutches around my rapidly beating heart.
I wake with a sharp scream and hands covering my abdomen, as if that alone will protect our baby...
"Nae, what's wrong? Nae? Talk to me, Baby," I hear Jimin's clear voice breaking through the sobs, the shaking back in full force.
"Oh my god..." is all I can manage through my chattering teeth, cool air hurting my sweaty hot flesh. "Jimin..."
He pulls me tightly into his embrace, his strong arms wrapping around my body, a measure of comfort to my achy limbs.
Before I can get too comfortable, panic seizes hold and I start struggling, the need to see where our little flower is foremost in my mind. Jimin lets go, sitting back as I sit straight up, my hands frantically checking everywhere for any possible damage. When I realize it was just a nightmare, I fall back to the headboard, my hands covering my face as tears stream unchecked in overwhelming relief.
"It was just a nightmare...thank god, it was just a nightmare!" The panic is receding fast, though the feelings of fear are still hanging on with a strangle hold.
I'm pulled into strong arms again as I weep, the shaking starting once more.
"Baby, what's going on?" Jimin asks as he kisses the top of my head several times then rubs his chin there. "You woke up screaming..."
"I had a nightmare...it was horrible!" I grip him tightly, my fingers digging into flesh as I suck air in deeply, trying to control the fear still stroking the edges of my subconscious.
"Can you tell me about it, love?"
He pulls me onto his lap so I'm straddling him as he sits with his back against the pillows, pulling the covers over us. I bury my head in his neck, breathing his scent which seems to be helping with knocking the fear back further.
I shake my head when he asks again. "I can't give specifics because I don't remember them, but I remember feeling fear, real tangible fear. And pain, a really sharp pain in my abdomen. It felt like I was being stabbed where our little flower is. I was so scared that I lost her to whatever happened... And that I couldn't protect her... It was the same nightmare that woke me up in the middle of the night earlier."
Jimin lifts me up by the arms at that confession, searching my face. "This was the second time you had the same nightmare in one night?? Why didn't you wake me?"
Tears fall from my eyes again at his tone, and his gaze softens. "Love, I'm not mad, but I'm worried that you went through it on your own...I should've been awake to hold you, and love you, while you went through it so you weren't alone to deal with it... Then maybe you wouldn't have had it happen again."
"You were so tired, and with what you said last night about being worried you will lose us...it scared me. But the nightmare...maybe that's why I had it. Because I sat thinking about that all night."
He pulls me back into his arms and I settle my head on his chest, listening to his heart thumping below my ear. I sigh, sinking into the safety of his arms as they tighten around me, his hands running up and down my spine. I hear his voice rumbling in his chest as he speaks again.
"Promise me that you'll wake me up if it happens again. Please?"
All I can do is nod my head at that, and he squeezes tighter. "I need to hear you say it, love."
I sit up to look at him. "I promise, Jimin. I'll wake you up if it happens again. But I'm hoping it won't."
He leans forward and captures my lips with his, his body stirring beneath mine. Pulling back to look at me, he gives a gentle smile as he wipes the tears from my face. One that ends in a smirk.
"We never did finish what we started last night..."
"You were tired. Although you did try to start something on the couch when you were sleeping..." I say, my own small smile teasing. He tilts his head, a brow arching at my teasing tone.
"What do you mean?"
"Well, you came over and sat down next to me, like this..." I slide off his lap to sit next to him, gesturing for him to put his head on my shoulder, which he does, but still looking at me. I grab his arm and place it on my leg so it's sitting just like it was last night. "I was trying to wake you up gently, so I flipped your hand over to rub a little in the center of your palm. But instead, you grabbed my wrist like this," and I show him, "then moved your arm up to here..." I move our locked arms together and settle him in the same place he did last night. "But when you did that, you can see where my hand landed..." And I touch his hardening c*ck with my fingertips while he watches. "Then..."
I pause, causing him to look up at me. "Then what?" he asks softly when I don't continue.
"Then...you let go of my wrist and cover my hand with yours..." I pause.
"Like this...?" he asks as he does the exact thing he did last night, covering my hand and pressing it down on his hard-on.
"Yes," I breathlessly say as I curl my fingers around him. "Although last night, we came to bed and you fell right asleep..."
He turns his head to look at me, leaning over and kissing me tenderly. "Not this time, love. This time I plan to continue and finish. There will be no sleep happening anytime soon..."