The next few weeks fly by without any issues. We have found ourselves falling in a comfortable routine as we attempt to establish some sense of normalcy. Noah and I spending most of our time creating memories and making his home feel more like mine, or ours rather. He's assisted me in turning my room into something fit for my liking. Taking the time to help me get a nice makeup vanity set up, and even surprising me with some new clothes that better fit the California climate. Since we had our talk on the patio the other night we haven't discussed where we stand further, just letting everything come naturally. I'm still not entirely sure the status of our relationship, but lately I've found myself spending the night wrapped in his arms and being waken up by his lips meeting mine. It was a blissful newly found routine that neither one of us wanted to come to and end.
Today has proven to be a little different than the days prior, Noah had to leave early in the morning to meet up with all the guys who flew in last night to go over some tour details. They depart at the end of next week, leaving to kick of their 3 month long tour. It came up sooner than I anticipated. I'm not sure what I'll do to fill my time when he's gone, it's hard enough to be in a new city with him here to aid me. It's nerve wracking to think about doing it alone. I plan on starting work once he leaves, I have to be able to provide for myself somehow and Noah graciously offered to let me use his car rather than take the bus. Which he says is unsafe for me to do alone. It's comforting to be able to get to this place with him, trying our best to forget about the heartache we both instilled on one another. For the first time in years it feels like I can finally breathe.
I feel my phone begin to vibrate from within my pocket, causing me to pull away from my thoughts. I withdrawal it and see Noah's name flashing across the screen. I smile at the picture that displays of him and I making a goofy face at the camera.
"Hey" I try to play cool, but the eagerness in my voice is clear.
"Hey, pretty girl. What are you up to?" He sounds breathless. If I know Nicholas, and I surely do, it's safe to assume he has everyone running around completing every minor task that needs done before they leave.
"Nothing really. I was about to jump in the shower" I take a seat on the edge of the sofa, trying to find a spot to relax so I can give him my undivided attention.
"Without me? Rude" he says the corny line effortlessly, and if it was anyone else saying it I would roll my eyes at the stupidity of it. But his goofy attempts at flirting makes my cheeks warm up, my legs tingling at the mental picture of the two of us under the hot steamy water together.
"There's always next time" I give my best attempt at flirting back, but I'm sure it isn't received as flawlessly as his.
"I'll take you up on that. I was actually calling to see if you want to come out with all of us tonight?" He inquires hopefully, his tone eager.
"You want me to come with you?" My heart swells at the offer. The simple thought of him wanting me to accompany him causes my face to warm up with pride.
"Of course. I need a beautiful woman on my arm" his words cause my stomach to erupt with butterflies, as I bring my bottom lip into my mouth to chew on it nervously.
"What's the occasion?" I ask
"A release party a friend of mine is having, I don't plan on being there too long" his voice is casual as he explains. Im taken aback at his nonchalant demeanor, I guess I'm still getting used to the life of a rockstar.
"I'd love to come" it comes out hushed as I attempt to keep my excitement at bay.
"Good. Be ready by 9ish. I'll talk to you in a little bit. Bye babe" his words catch me by surprise, halting any response I could muster up. I'm not sure if it was a slip of tongue or not. Regardless the sweet little nickname is foreign to me, but I could definitely get used to hearing him say it.
I can't help but let out a squeal of contentment once the call ends. My entire face warming up as I reply our conversation in my head. I all but float upstairs, feeling like I'm on top of the world as I strip down to nothing and hop in the steaming hot shower. The warmth of the water heats my skin, as I lather my body and hair up. It doesn't take long before I'm stepping out and wrapping myself in a towel.
I make my way down the hall and into my room. Sifting through my clothes in attempts to find an outfit fit for the occasion. After a while I decide on something simple, an oversized Lamb Of God T-shirt with my chunky platform shoes. I don't have much to chose from, and considering the fact that I'm Noah's guest I want to look presentable. I want to at least attempt to fit in with a group of rockstars. It's hard to tell who I will see, what important people I'll come into contact with and the last thing I want is to make any of the boys look bad. I take a seat in front of my vanity mirror as the nerves begin to set in almost immediately, my hands shaking too bad for me to properly attempt my makeup. I don't know what's suddenly got me worked up, but as I stare at myself in the mirror I begin to feel uneasy.
There's no reason to be so riled up. It's just a night out with Noah and the boys, like I've done a million times before. Maybe it's the fact that it feels different now, I'll be meeting new people in his life. I want to make the very best first impression, especially if I'm reading the signals correctly and Noah is slowly crossing over into new territory in our friendship. I'll be around so many new faces, rich musicians, beautiful women, and I can't shake the fear of not fitting in. The thought of being an embarrassment provoking a vile taste to arise in the back of my throat. It's just a thought, an irrational one at that, but my self confidence is low. Years of hearing Jasper bark degrading remarks at me has done nothing but damage any confidence I ever had.
I steady my breathing slowly, giving myself a mental pep talk in order to carry on with my makeup. His words, as malice as they may have been, held no ground. He was just an insecure man who wanted to drag me all the way down to the bottom right along with him. It takes me a moment, but eventually I'm able to calm myself enough to pull off a half decent smoky eye. The bold noir eyeshadow making my icy blue eyes pop. I don't do much else with myself, letting my hair hang naturally as I work my fingers through any knots that have formed in its drying process. I didn't realize how much time had gotten away from me until I hear my phone vibrate with a text, seeing the time light up across my screen.
8:45pm
Noah will be here at any moment and the simple thought causes my throat to go dry as I continue eying myself over in the mirror, trying to find any flaw in my appearance. I want to look good, not just for him but myself. I've spent so much time hiding away in the shadows, it's an odd sensation to be willing to step away from the safety I've found in self isolation. I don't want to be the girl I've become, or the girl he made me rather, too scared to stand out and take control of what she wants.
I hear the lock turn to the front door, a clear indicator that Noah has arrived home. My heart begins to pump rapidly, my head foggy with nerves. I hear his heavy steps begin to ascend the stairs, every moan in the floor seeming to speed up and pass as fast as the seconds that tick by.
Creek.. 1
Creek... 2
By the third give in the steps I can hear him walking down the hall towards my room, anticipation filling the air. Suffocating me
There's a slight knock. The sound causing my already dry throat to completely deplete of any moisture that was left behind. I'm not sure why all of a sudden he's got me on edge. He's the same person he's always been to me, he's just Noah. But somehow everything feels so different. It's a whole new ball game.
"Come in" I try to sound confident, but I know I fail when I hear the way my voice cracks at the end of my statement.
Slowly, the door opens and reveals Noah's beaming face. He's dressed in tattered skinny jeans, minimally showcasing a few segments of his nearly fully tattooed legs. His slim torso clad in an stark white shirt with a thorny heart embroidered in the upper left side of his chest.
"Don't you look stunning" he speaks almost breathlessly, as he takes a few steps to get closer and continue to look me over.
My face begins to warm, nervous sweat beading at my hairline as I start to feel hot under his intense gaze.
"You mean that?" It's a silly question, but I needed a little reassurance. I've spent so long shielding myself from any forms of attention. Hearing him praise my appearance gives me all the right confidence.
His expression softens as he closes the space between us and takes both of my hands into his.
"You're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen, with and without makeup. And right now, you're breathtaking" I didn't think my face could get any hotter but hearing him spill his guts proves me wrong.
"Thank you, you look good yourself" I compliment back as he pushes the fallen hair away from my face. His hands are warm as he allows them to linger and combs through my messy waves.
He places a delicate kiss on my forehead before leaving me to finish getting ready. Feeling inadequate, I go over my makeup and outfit serval times before finally giving up. I need to learn to leave things at good enough. I spray myself with vanilla scented body spray, applying a small layer of sheer lipgloss to my mouth.
I give myself one last look over in the mirror, making sure all my hairs are in place and my outfit is up to par. I decided to add a pair of fishnets to the look for the evening, feeling as if it was missing something. It was a good call on my end.
I take the steps slowly, anticipating the next part of our evening. I have never been good at meeting new people but hopefully Noah stays close. I approach the kitchen quickly, hearing voices fill the air.
"FOLIO!!" I know exactly who it is before I even see him, my pace picking up to all but ran and enter the room faster. He falls into my line of version as soon as I step through the threshold. He is dressed in his signature ball cap and all black attire, a wide smile spread across his face as he chugs a white claw.
He's pulled from his conversation with Jolly, giving me a large smile as he locks eyes with me. He sets down his tin can on the island and opens his arms as I run towards him full speed. He wraps me into his embrace, a tight hold across my torso as I let out a happy sigh. It's been a few weeks since I've seen him, and even though we text and FaceTime regularly nothing compared to his physical presence.
"I missed you so much!" I can't stop the smile that pulls at my lips as I speak. We part from each other and I see him mimicking my expression.
"I've missed you too, Vee! We have so much to do before we leave next week" his words remind me of something I have been trying hard to forget. In roughly six short days I will be left alone in a city I know nothing about. The only company I'll find will be through my phone. I try not to let my sadness show, as I attempt to give my best feigned smile.
"Oh I know. You still owe me a hike!" I remind him as he offers me a white claw of my own, which I take.
"There's actually a really nice spot about an hour from here. If you're up for it the day after tomorrow we could check it out" we make a plan for our little day trip. Deciding to pack a light lunch for us to have once we get to the top of the trail. It was nice to have him back around, I never realized how much I missed him and his company.
"Where's Noah?" I inquire after a moment, not realizing until now that he wasn't in the kitchen with us.
As if in cue, he makes his presence known as he walks into the kitchen through the threshold. He traded out his ripped denim for a fully intact pair of black jeans, and an army green t shirt. His hair is damp from the shower he just took, the ends curling up slightly from the moisture. He takes my breath away, as he effortlessly glows. My heart pounds as I gawk at his beauty, the way he wracks his large hands through his mocha locks. Pushing every stray strand away from his beautiful canvas.
"Everyone ready to go?" His question comes after a moment, eyes catching mine as I stare unapologetically at him. I don't look away, not even batting an eye as we maintain contact. The intimacy our gaze holds is all too clear, my entire body heating up. He gives me the same look in return, biting his lower lip as his eyes scan over me repeatedly. I can't stop myself from smiling, knowing tonight, despite my apprehension, will be a good one.
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Hey everyone! I hope you guys enjoy! I've been having some serious writers block and feel like this chapter is a little on the mediocre side , but wanted to get something out. Let me know your thoughts!
-XXJ