"It's cold, mija!" the woman called after her. Camila turned around, looking down at the snow underneath her boots and crinkling her nose.
"But I wanna go sledding!" the smaller girl protested, turning around and looking up at the sky. She caught a snowflake on her tongue and smiled happily to herself.
"Is it that obvious that she's never seen snow before?" her mother laughed and turned to her father, who was tugging on his own boots. Camila's parents stood on the front porch of their cabin at the ski lodge. Camila was knee deep in snow a feet few away from them.
"You need a jacket, silly," her mother laughed, motioning to Camila to join them on the porch. Huffing, the smaller girl trudged back through the snow and hopped onto the wooden steps.
"But it's not cold," Camila protested, just as a swift breeze caused her to shiver. Her mother simply laughed and ushered the younger girl into the front room of the cabin.
"You'll be cold, trust me," the dark haired woman chuckled. She grabbed the pastel yellow coat from the hanger by the door. Camila allowed her to help her slip into the jacket, wiggling her arms when she realized the sleeves were slightly too long.
"Where does snow come from?" Camila asked, sitting down on the small bench by the door and gazing longingly out the window.
"It's just really cold rain," her mother laughed and knelt down in front of the small girl, smoothing out her hair and gently slipping a yellow beanie onto her head. Camila smiled, tugging the material down and turning to look at her reflection in the window.
"At least we know we won't lose you," her father laughed, appearing in the doorway. Camila looked up and giggled, clasping her hands together.
"Can we go sledding now?" she asked pleadingly, pressing her palms against the cold glass.
"Whatever you want, kiddo," her father laughed and ruffled her hair. Camila gasped playfully, bringing her hands up to her head to fix her beanie. Both of her parents laughed.
"Can we bring some snow home?" the smaller girl asked, hopping down the front steps of the cabin and stomping her boots in the snow. She was fascinated by the white flakes slowly drifting down from the sky.
"It'll all melt in the Florida heat," her mother laughed. Camila pouted and hopped into a snow bank, giggling when she practically sunk knee-deep in the snow.
"I'm stuck!" she cried dramatically, falling backwards and gazing up at the sky. She narrowed her eyes, suddenly growing distracted by the flakes falling from the sky.
"Look!" Camila pointed upwards. "Look at the snow!"
"What about it, mija?"
"It's just so... beautiful," the child breathed out, in awe by the image above her. "Mommy, come lay down and look up." Moments later, she was joined by both of her parents, lying back in the snow next to her and gazing up at the sky.
"You're right," her mother laughed, reaching over and wiping the snow off of her daughter's face.
"This is so much better than rain," Camila giggled, bringing her hands above her head and trying to catch snowflakes on her mittens. "This is the best day ever."
"Ever?" her father raised an eyebrow. Camila giggled and copied him, tilting her head to the side.
"Yeah, ever," she confirmed. She stuck her tongue out and caught a snowflake before resting her head back on the snow and sighing softly. "Thank you."
"For what, mija?"
"For being the coolest parents ever," Camila giggled. She sat up and tugged her beanie back onto her head.
"Thanks for being the coolest daughter ever," her mother laughed and helped Camila fix the material on her head. "We love you very much, Karla."
"I know," Camila laughed, rolling her eyes playfully. "You tell me all the time."
"We just wanna make sure you don't forget, that's all," the woman laughed and smoothed out her daughter's hair.
"I love you more," Camila looked back and forth between her parents. "More than... more than mac and cheese." Both of her parents gasped in fake shock, causing Camila to giggle incessantly.
"I never wanna grow up," Camila sighed, looking up at the sky. Little did she know, she'd be forced to grow up drastically in the next few days.
Camila frantically wiped her eyes, trying to understand the images that she'd just seen. That was her. It was real. She quickly scrambled out from under the blankets and hurried over to the mirror. This was her.
And suddenly, she realized what Lauren had been saying all along. She couldn't be taught what love was. She already knew. She remembered.
Lauren.
Camila balled her hands into fists and looked at her reflection. She loved Lauren. She knew she did. Except it was different. A good kind of different. She loved Lauren in a completely different way than she loved her parents.
She needed to tell her.
Camila quickly scrambled to open the door, running down the hallway and practically falling down the stairs into the living room. Normani looked up quickly from her place on the couch.
"Where is Lolo?" Camila looked around frantically. She had to tell her. She was scared she would forget again.
"She said she was going for a drive," Normani raised an eyebrow. "Why? What's going on?"
Camila was already out the door by the time Normani finished her sentence. The older girl hopped to her feet to follow her, but Camila was nowhere to be seen.
Meanwhile, Lauren had finally calmed herself down enough to start the car. Just as she was about to pull out of her parking spot, there was a frantic knocking at her window. Lauren jumped, whipping her head to the side and biting her lip when she saw Camila tapping on the window repeatedly.
Hesitantly, Lauren rolled down the window after wiping her eyes. "What?" she asked softly, scared of what was about to happen. Camila shook her head and reached inside the car window, running her fingers across the older girl's jawline.
"I remember," Camila looked into Lauren's eyes hopefully, retracting her hand and tugging on her beanie anxiously. "I remember love. I know it."
"I—," Lauren opened her mouth to speak but Camila jumped forwards and cupped her hand over the older girl's mouth.
"I know what it is," Camila continued pleadingly. "I know what I love. I love flowers, and friends, and the sky, and the stars, and music, and warm blankets, and the sky when it turns pink, and yellow, and..."
Lauren bit her lip and looked down at her hands, trying to hide her disappointment. She hadn't meant to get her hopes up. But she was hoping to have been at the top of Camila's list.
"But you are my favorite."
Lauren lifted her head slowly at Camila's next words, growing confused. Camila reached out and ran her thumb over Lauren's bottom lip.
"My favorite love, Lolo," she said quietly. "I love you the most, I know."
Lauren's breath got caught in her throat and she struggled to find her words. Just as she opened her mouth to respond, there was an ear piercing screech from behind them and then the sound of metal clashing against metal. Both girls whipped their heads around.
Lauren's eyes widened when she saw the two cars collide in the street behind them. She sat frozen for a moment, watching the smoke clear around the two vehicles. By the time she turned her head back around, Camila was gone.
She saw a glimpse of the smaller girl's figure disappear behind the back of the apartment building. Without any hesitation, she sprinted out of her car and after the smaller girl.
She rounded the back of the building. When she caught sight of Camila, she picked up her speed and grabbed the smaller girl by the wrist. Camila panicked, trying to pull away, but Lauren kept a firm grip on her. The green eyed girl grabbed Camila's shoulders and pushed her back against the wall, trying to calm her down.
"Camila," Lauren brought her hands up to the smaller girl's face and cupped her cheeks. "Camila, look at me," she tilted the smaller girl's head. Camila had her eyes squeezed shut and tried to bring her hands up to cover her face.
The smaller girl opened her eyes hesitantly. The moment brown eyes met green, Camila burst into tears and practically fell into Lauren's arms.
"Th-that could have been y-you," Camila managed between sobs. Lauren felt her heart drop in her chest and she quickly shook her head.
"But it wasn't," the green eyed girl wrapped her arms around Camila and held the younger girl close to her chest. "I'm right here."
Camila just continued to cry into Lauren's shoulder, balling her hands into the back of the older girl's shirt and clinging onto her for dear life. Lauren felt her heart physically shatter into a million pieces.
"You're okay, Camila, I've got you," Lauren whispered, running her hands through Camila's hair in an attempt to soothe the smaller girl. Camila took a deep breath, but tensed when she heard the sound of police sirens in the distance.
"Okay, c'mon," Lauren kept her arms around Camila, starting to lead them towards the back entrance of the apartment. Camila kept her hands tight in Lauren's shirt, not wanting to let her go.
Slowly but surely, they made their way back up to their apartment. Lauren led the smaller girl into the front room. Camila glanced around nervously the entire time. Lauren couldn't remember ever seeing her this terrified.
Normani and Dinah both jumped up from the couch, looks of concern washing over both of their faces. The sudden movement made Camila reel backwards, tightening her grip on Lauren.
'Don't' Lauren mouthed, shaking her head at the other girls. They got the message, but they couldn't help but be confused at the sudden change in Camila. They stepped out of the way as Lauren led the smaller girl upstairs and into her bedroom.
She sat Camila down on the bed, kneeling down in front of the girl and taking both of her hands in her own.
"Camz, breathe," Lauren whispered. Camila took a deep breath in, but gasped when she heard the sirens directly outside the apartment. Lauren shot up, pulling the curtains shut and looking around the room quickly.
She quickly headed over to her iHome, plugging in her phone and putting her music on shuffle. 'Pressure' by The 1975 quickly filled the room and Lauren turned it up slightly, so the sirens could barely be heard.
"C'mere," she whispered, hurrying back over to the bed and sitting down next to Camila, pulling her into her lap. Camila practically collapsed into her arms, wrapping her arms around her neck and trying to take deep breaths to calm herself down.
Lauren couldn't stand seeing Camila this scared. She glanced around the room, her eyes landing on the blankets on the bed.
"We're safe under here," Lauren said softly, pulling Camila back on the bed and pulling the covers over them. Laying on her back, she bit her lip as Camila practically climbed on top of her and snaked her arms up the sleeves of her hoodie.
"You're here, Camila," Lauren said softly, running her fingers up and down the girl's arm. "You're safe. You're alive. You're breathing. I've got you."
"Promise?" Camila's shaky voice finally filled the room. Lauren nodded and found Camila's hand in the dark, locking their pinkies together.
There's a change in pressure
We're never gonna lie to you
My broken veins say that if my heart stops beating
We'll bleed the same way
Oh, my broken veins say
Lauren sang softly along with the song, feeling Camila's breathing begin to slow down. She reached up and ran her fingers through the girl's hair, humming the last few lines of the song quietly.
"Are you okay?" Lauren asked softly after a few moments of silence. Camila shivered, lifting her head and studying Lauren's face. The green eyed girl reached out to wipe the tears from under Camila's eyes, allowing her thumbs to linger against Camila's smooth skin.
"I love you," Camila whispered, reaching up and placing her hand on top of Lauren's. "You make it easy."
"I... what?" Lauren nearly choked on thin air. Camila sniffed and rolled over, curling up against Lauren's side and nodding.
"I do," the smaller girl said softly. "I love you."
Lauren's heart fluttered. Something about the way Camila said this was different. A good kind of different. She took a deep breath and tried to absolute happiness she felt in that moment.
"I love you, too," the green eyed girl turned slightly so she could see Camila's face under the blankets. The smaller girl's eyes widened, as if she hadn't been expecting that response.
"You... you do?" Camila lifted her head and looked at Lauren in confusion. The green eyed girl raised an eyebrow.
"Of course I do," she whispered, growing confused at the smaller girl's confusion. "I figured it was pretty obvious."
"I..." Camila looked down at her hands. She wasn't sure how to receive this. She didn't understand the floating feeling in her stomach, or the blush that slowly spread across her cheeks. This wasn't something she was used to.
"I love your sleepy smile when you wake up in the morning, even though I'm the furthest thing from a morning person," Lauren continued, pulling Camila even closer to her and running her fingers through her hair.
"I love your compassion for everyone and everything around you. I love the way your voice gets all raspy when you're sleepy. I love your affection for all things yellow," she giggled, kissing Camila's temple. "I love all the things that make you, you. But most importantly, I love you. Just you."
Silence fell over them for a few moments before Camila turned slightly to get a better view of Lauren. "Thank you," the younger girl whispered. She reached out and traced her fingers across Lauren's jawline.
"You don't have to thank me for loving you," Lauren laughed softly. Camila shook her head, trying to correct her.
"No," Camila retracted her hand, only to find Lauren's and lace their fingers together. "Thank you for showing it to me."
Lauren's breath caught in her throat. For someone who wasn't expected to have normal speech patterns, Camila sure had a way with words. Maybe it was her blatant innocence. She felt tears well up in her eyes.
Camila instantly grew concerned when Lauren pulled her hand away to wipe her eyes. "Why are you crying?" Camila sat up slightly. "Did I do something bad?"
"No," Lauren quickly shook her head. "No, Camz, of course not." She swallowed hard, trying to think of a way to explain her feelings to the smaller girl. "I just..." she paused to take a deep breath.
"I've never been in love with someone. I never expected to fall in love with anyone, really. I just didn't think that's what the universe had planned for me," she confessed, feeling Camila's small hand find hers under the blankets.
"But then you showed up at our door one day and changed everything for me," Lauren smiled softly, using her free hand to wipe the tears that had fallen from her eyes. "And I didn't even realize it at the time, but every little thing you did made me fall more and more in love with you."
Camila's lips slowly curved into a smile and she wrapped her arms around Lauren, nuzzling her head into the crook of her neck. "I love you, Lo," she whispered. "I do not have the words to tell you why. I just do." When Lauren didn't reply, Camila lifted her head.
"I do, Lolo, I do. I mean it," she said quickly, hoping Lauren didn't think she was lying. Lauren raised an eyebrow.
"I believe you," the green eyed girl whispered, pulling Camila back down against her. "I'm just... I didn't realize how amazing it would feel to hear you say that."
"You get the butterflies too?" Camila reached up and twirled a piece of Lauren's hair around her finger. Lauren laughed quietly.
"All the time," she whispered, sighing contently. She hadn't realized the relief that came with knowing that Camila loved her. She loved Camila, Camila loved her. Simple as that.
Lauren giggled when the brown eyed girl next to her yawned softly. She raised an eyebrow and smiled at Camila. "Do you want me to sing?" she asked, watching as Camila's lips curved into a smile.
"Only for me?" the smaller girl asked innocently. Lauren nodded.
"Only for you," she whispered.
I'd never gone with the wind
Just let it flow
Let it take me where it wants to go
'Til you open the door
There's so much more
I'd never seen it before
I was trying to fly
But I couldn't find wings
But you came along and you changed everything
You lift my feet off the ground
You spin me around
You make me crazier, crazier
Feels like I'm falling and I am lost in your eyes
You make me crazier, crazier, crazier
I've watched from a distance as you made life your own
Every sky was your own kind of blue
And I wanted to know how that would feel
And you made it so real
You showed me something that I couldn't see
You opened my eyes
And you made me believe
You lift my feet off the ground
You spin me around
You make me crazier, crazier
Feels like I'm fallin' and I am lost in your eyes
You make me crazier, crazier...
Camila looked up slowly when Lauren's voice softened and eventually disappeared completely. She was confused at first, but quickly realized the green eyed girl had fallen asleep. Smiling widely, Camila wiggled out of her grip and sat up slightly, studying Lauren's peaceful form.
"I love you, Lo," Camila whispered, being careful not to wake the girl. She kissed the tips of her fingers, pressing them gently against Lauren's lips. After a few moments of silence, Camila leaned down and planted a kiss on Lauren's forehead.
She smiled softly, not wanting to take her eyes off of the older girl that she was so infatuated with. She really did love her, she realized. It was a new, exciting feeling. Yet it already felt so comfortable.
She wiggled out from under the blankets, carefully adjusting them over both of their bodies. Making sure Lauren was warm enough, Camila sang softly while she straightened out the blankets around them.
"You make me crazier, crazier," Camila quietly whispered the words she'd heard Lauren sing before. She continued singing the same line, the only one she could remember well.
Her singing soon turned to soft humming once she had tucked them both in to her liking. She curled up in Lauren's side and snaked her hands up the sleeves of the green eyed girl's hoodie, making sure she could hold onto her all night.
"I really do love you," Camila mumbled, nuzzling her head into the crook of the older girl's neck. "Very much." She closed her eyes slowly, feeling waves of exhaustion wash over her. The small girl feel asleep quickly in the comfort of Lauren's arms.
—
a/n: this was an eventful chapter hahaha, hopefully it didn't cause you too much pain. i have a new fic in the works currently so keep an eye out for the first chapter in the next few days!
as always, let me know what you think, and have a great day bbies <3
- lena (@lenajfc on twitter, forbrighterskies on tumblr)