Chapter 12
All of the Questions
She could hardly sleep. All she could ever think of was the light kiss he gave her earlier when she visited him to bring over some dinner.
For thank you lang naman siguro 'yon kasi dinalhan ko siya ng pagkain? Bakit ko ba iniisip? she thought to herself when she pulled the blanket up to her chin.
It doesn't mean anything. But it was still making her blush.
Francine tried to shut her eyes and clear her head for the hundredth time just so she could finally go to sleep, but the way he leaned over a bit and his lips softly landing on her hair were replaying inside her mind like a broken montage.
She sighed. It's nothing, it's nothing, it's nothing, it's nothing, she chanted repeatedly to herself.
Francine carefully shifted her position so her stitches wouldn't hurt only to see his side of the bed. His pillows were arranged and his blanket still neatly folded from when he woke up earlier before his shift.
She stretched out her hand to reach for his pillow when a roll of breath escaped her lips again.
It's 3 a.m. and she couldn't rid her mind of it. Kaya naisipan niya na lang bumangon para magluto ng breakfast nilang dalawa mamaya.
Francine took out the cold rice from the fridge, sausages, a couple of eggs, and butter. She occupied herself for a while to wear her senses off.
But after cooking, cleaning up, and showering (because her hair smelled like garlic), her mind was still running in a loop and it was already six in the morning.
He's about to come home na, she thought. And she doesn't know if she'll be able to join him for breakfast because she feels groggy and she could feel something pulsating on the right side of her head.
Nakaidlip naman siya saglit kanina. Pero saglit lang din 'yon. Because even if she's already dreaming about something in her nap, her mind was still awake and she has never felt more tired.
Napakurap siya nang marinig niyang bumukas ang pinto sa labas.
He's here, Francine sighed. Carefully shifting her position again, lying on her back.
Sakto rin ang marahang pagbukas ni Nicco ng pinto sa kuwarto para kumuha ng damit na susuotin niya pagkatapos maligo.
"Gising ka na pala. Good morning," he greeted when he noticed she was awake.
"Good morning din pero hindi pa ako natutulog," she answered.
"Ha? Bakit naman? Hindi maganda magpuyat."
"I know. Hindi lang talaga ako makatulog."
"Uminom ka ba kagabi ng kape?"
She shook her head. "No."
"Gusto mo uminom ng mainit? Hot choco o kaya gatas? Gawan kita," Nicco offered after getting some clothes from the drawer.
"Milk."
"Okay." He leaned on the drawer. "May gusto ka pa ba? Cookie o sandwich?"
"Wala naman tayong cookie."
"Bumili ako kanina. Pasalubong ko sa 'yo."
"May pasalubong ka sa akin?"
Nicco nodded. "Oo. Pambawi do'n sa dinner na dinala mo kagabi."
"Pambawi?"
"Yup. Bakit?"
"Bakit ka babawi do'n, pang thank you ko nga sa inyo 'yong mga food na dinala ko kagabi?"
"Wala naman. Gusto rin kita bilhan ng pagkain. May cookie saka tuna sandwich akong inuwi."
"Ah . . . okay. Kainin ko na lang later. Gusto ko mag-sleep muna," sabi niya.
"Sige."
She sighed when Nicco went outside to prepare a warm drink for her. Nangunot din ang noo niya sa pagtataka.
Gusto rin kita bilhan ng pagkain, his words echoed on her mind.
Why? What for? Pambawi lang ba talaga do'n sa dinner na binigay ko rin sa kanya kagabi? Wasn't the kiss he gave me enough na need niya rin bilhan ako ng sandwich and cookies? And why am I reading into these too much? What if 'yon lang talaga 'yon and ako lang nag-iisip nang ganito?
Snap out of it! Francine frustratedly reminded herself.
Nicco brought her milk over before taking a shower. She tried to force herself to sleep, too. Pero nadagdagan lang din 'yong iniisip niya dahil sa sinabi ni Nicco.
Nagpatimpla pa ako sa kanya ng gatas, wala rin naman palang effect, she grunted. She knew there was no reason for her to make a big deal out of his actions, but deep deep down, was she secretly hoping for those things to mean something?
"Gising ka pa rin," he remarked when he went back to the room after cleaning up.
"I can't sleep."
"Bakit? Masama ba pakiramdam mo o may iniisip ka?" he asked.
"Wala naman?"
"Sure? Kasi kanina sabi mo hindi ka uminom ng kape. Kaya naisip ko na baka hindi ka makatulog kasi masama pakiramdam mo or occupied ka."
"Ah . . . " she nodded. "I see."
He's right. Pero bakit ko naman sasabihin sa kanya 'yong reason kung bakit hindi ako makatulog? It might weird him out.
"Patabi ako, ha? Inaantok na rin kasi ako," sabi ni Nicco.
"Hindi ka ba kakain ng breakfast? May niluto din ako kanina. Nasa table."
"Mamaya na lang siguro paggising. Sabay na lang tayo kumain."
"Okay . . ."
Maingat na tumagilid ng puwesto si Francine patalikod kay Nicco. She caught a whiff of his shampoo and after shave and . . .
I should stop. Ano naman ngayon if smells good? Dapat lang he smells good kasi katatapos niya lang mag-shower. Normal lang 'yon, she thought.
Francine swallowed closing her eyes shut and convincing her mind to stop racing so she could sleep.
"Good night," sabi ni Nicco nang humiga siya sa tabi.
Napalingon naman si Francine sa gawi niya. "Good night? Umaga na."
He smiled. "Kasi ngayon pa lang tayo matutulog. Kaya good night."
"Ah . . . okay, sige. Good night din."
She saw him grab one of his pillows, putting it in between his arms before closing his eyes shut. He really looked tired and she somehow, she envied him for falling asleep to quickly.
Francine silently grunted, she blinked a couple of times until she settled her eyes at cream-painted ceiling above her. She tried to steady her breathing and to free her mind from what was bothering her since last night.
"Matulog ka na. 'Wag mo muna isipin 'yan, mamaya na lang," Nicco said, interrupting her peaceful trance.
"Akala ko tulog ka na."
"Ang bilis ko naman makatulog? Halos kapipikit ko pa lang kanina," sagot ni Nicco.
"Halos two minutes na rin kaya 'yon. Saka mabilis ka makatulog. Naalala ko sa hospital before. Sumandal ka lang no'n sa pader tapos tulog ka na."
"Puyat kasi ako no'n."
"And pagod ka," she added.
"Oo, pagod din."
Francine's face twitched when she turned to face his direction again from a sharp sudden flick in her head. She felt it spreading above her brow.
"Aray," mahinang daing niya.
"Bakit?"
"Sakit ng ulo ko."
"Puyat ka kasi kaya siguro sumasakit."
"Sanay naman ako magpuyat pero normal ba 'yong parang may pulse? Tapos masakit din dito." Turo niya sa ibabaw ng kilay niya.
He smiled. "Cluster headaches. Normal lang naman kung minsan mo lang maramdaman. Pero kung madalas, dapat ipatingin mo na rin."
"Ngayon lang naman. Parang gumuguhit siya," reklamo ni Francine.
"Saan ba banda masakit?"
"Here," she said, pointing at the right side of her head. "Saka dito." Then to the arch of her right brow.
Nicco extended his hand so he could massage her head to relieve her from her clustered headache when Francine almost hitched her breath due to his suddenness.
But it only took a second because she easily felt at ease when her migraine was slowly subsiding.
"Hindi ko ba kailangan uminom ng gamot?"
"P'wede mo naman inuman kapag hindi mo na talaga kaya. But if simple headaches na p'wedeng idaan sa pahinga o tulog, kahit 'wag na. Hindi ko recommended na masanay kang uminom ng pain relievers. 'Di rin maganda 'yon."
Francine smiled. "Okay, Doc."
"Basta if symptoms persists—"
"Yes, I know. Consult my doctor."
"Good."
"Can I ask you? If may hindi okay sa pakiramdam ko? P'wede ako sa 'yo magtanong?"
"Oo naman. Si Idriss nga maya't maya akong tinatanong. Nakakatipid nga raw siya sa akin ng consultation fee."
Francine cracked a soft chuckle. "Kuripot talaga 'yon."
"Pero kapag kay Hale, ang galante."
"True."
He continued massaging her head in circular motions and Francine has no other option where to linger her gaze aside from his face.
His five o'clock shadow was gone. He must've took his time to shave earlier, and his lips were pink and plump and they look so soft . . .
She sighed.
"Nicco . . . "
"Hmm?"
"Bakit mo ako mina-massage?"
"Para hindi na masakit ulo mo," he answered.
"I see."
"Masakit pa ba?"
"No na. Nawala na 'yong parang pulse kanina."
"Okay. Ihinto ko na ba?"
Umiling siya. "No. I like it. Pero if nangangawit ka na, okay lang."
"Hindi pa naman."
"Nicco?" she called again.
"Bakit?"
"Kagabi, why did you kiss me?"
"Kasi dinalhan mo ako ng dinner—"
"Tapos kanina, bakit binilhan mo rin ako ng pasalubong na cookies and sandwich? Tapos bakit tinimplahan mo rin ako ng milk?" sunod-sunod na tanong niya.
"Why are you massaging me?"
"Francine—"
"Bakit sabi mo dati na dito muna ako mag-stay sa condo mo for your peace of mind? Bakit worried ka na mag-isa lang din ako sa unit ko?"
She inhaled sharply and his hand was slowly losing its pace from massaging her temple.
"Why did you break up with me before?"
~
Happy 1st of May! 🌸