BY THE TIME EVIE REACHES THE HOSPITAL, it's 5AM the next morning. And there's a clap of thunder rolling outside on the windows, starling her out of her soul. The clouds are a stormy grey palette of colours...much like how she feels and she watches helplessly, like a cloud being st a drift in a storm as Cora, her best friend receives the worst news of her life.
She lost the baby.
It was hard for Evie to comprehend Cora was pregnant in the first place. She didn't have any inkling her best friend was carrying a new life. New life that is now...gone.
She bites her lower lip between her teeth and sighs. Feeling like the storm outside. Full of sorrow, full of hurt, full of everything in between.
Why didn't Cora tell me?
She locks eyes on her best friend, who's hooked up to a drip, and sees her heartbroken face. Her brown eyes fill with rims of tears, her curls sweep all over her forehead and she looks like a broken, lost little girl in a bright, lit, white room as nurses and doctors go about their work.
Evie can't stand it anymore.
She rushes in through the door.
Cora looks up, her stare is vancent, empty. Like ehr mind and soul is lost somewhere, out in a storm of clouded emotions.
"Cora," Evie says. It's soft like daylight. Cora peers up from resting her chin on her knees. "He didn't come and see me, Evie," Her voice breaks. Outside, Evuie hears the rustle of wind rattle against the window. Her heart becomes resisted, resusted, and slow.
She rushes to Cora's side.
"He didn't come to the hopstial with me. Why didn't he come with me? It was his baby, too."
Evie doesn't know what to do or say. So instead, she wraps her thin arms around Cora, and holds onto her, until she feels hot, steamy tears run down her neck as a strangled sob escapes her best friend's throat.
"Why did Dallas just stand there and act like I we - no, I- was nothing' to me?"
Evie rubs Cora's back. A red-head nurse bustles about the room with a look of pity in her eyes then makes a sharp exit when Evie stares at her.
"I don't know, Cor," Evie says...hurting the way the truth sips past her lips. She slowly sits on the bed, in front of Cora and wipes her face with her thumbs. "But I told him after you left for hospital that he was a complete—
The doors open to Cora's room. Evie feels a breeze trickle down her neck. It two base-ball players from Dallas' team. Soaking wet with the rain, with a look of pure dead on their faces.
Jerry, a blonde boy with green eyes runs his hand through his hair. "Cora! You're here!"
She rubs her nose. "Where else would I be, Jerry?"
The two base-ball players in red and white jerlyes look between eahc other. Evie sees the look, it something that involes them, but not Evie or Cora.
"What's it is?" Evie starts. She crosses her arms over her chest. "Because if it isn't important, you can see Cora isn't fit for many vistors."
The other boy, taller and broader. His hair was coal-black, stares at her with his mouth slight parted.
Cold as rain he says, "It's Dallas. He's been in a car-crash. He's hurt pretty bad."
Then Evie's world fades into the past.
Evie feels her heart pounding in deaf ears. The white walls of the hopstail room feel too far away. In and out, they swirl. A scent of disfentinct runs into her nose, too thick, too composing, and three pairs of eyes set on her. The two base-ball players. And those of her best friend's Cora.
She feels her best friend take her arm and shakes her lightly but she's gone, as shock, guilt and memeories flood to the surface in a uncomfotable mannor she cannot out run.
In and out, she swirls into the past.
The car swirls out of control, slidding on the raindrops underneath the wheels that skid with the impacked. She opens her mouth to scream but no sound ecapses her as her brother, in the driver's side.
His hands turns on the sterring wheel, to right and out mannoivour them from their fate.
"Hang on, little sister." he yells. His voice is so clear, so afiard, so unlike him, it strikes fear in Evie viens.
She does. Onto her arms as the car starts to turn and tumble into a barrier on roadway. The bonnet smashes into the mentel, making a groaning and crushing sound. Smoke barrles out of the gaps in the smashed bonnet, a hissing sound rings everywhere in Evie's ears. Her chest hurts from where the seatbelt saved her from flyoing through the windshield.
Something else hurts. Something feels ice-cold and like death as come to claim her...and it silding her toes.
Then the car free falls through the metal barrier and onto the froken lake below.
For a second, she gazes at her brother who let's out a jagged breath. His eyes - clear as the crystal snow on the ground, reaches out to her with a frozen fingers, and touches her head. She watches him draw back and there's blood on his fingertips. Her blood. He hisses. Then swears.
"God damn it, Mum gonna kill me."
Evie cranes her neck to look out of the windshield. There, they sit inside a bashed car on a lake, crumbling with ice.
Before Evie can say a word, a loud boom underneath them startles her. She turns to Lewis, who's suddenly scrambling to undo his seatbelt. With shaky hands, she watches her brother lose all state of calmess, and locks his eyes - so much like her own - onto her.
"We need to get out as soon as possible. Do you understand Evie?"
She nods. She fumbles with her seatbelt, but feels like the world is pushing her down. Something is pulling her and her brother down, and she realises it is the car.
Starting to slide over the barrier towards the frozen lake below them.
***
EVIE FEELS LIKE THE WALLS in Cora's hospital room are pressed up against her chest, and she let's a low, deep gasp. Cora's fingers that are wrapped around her shoulder are nowhere to be seen, and the two baseball players–Dallas closest friends, she knows are looking at like she's grown two heads.
Cora's lips are moving, but there's only the sound of her empty heart trying to tell her she's alive, and it's okay. It's not your fault, Dallas is in a coma. It's not your fault he crashed in the rain.
But everything crashes down on her. And then she finds herself, moving, a in a dazed state out of the room, passing nurses, doctors and several students from Unviersity who clal out her name–but she's in a world of her own, lost to the despair at the thought of history repeating itself.
Sorry eyes pass her, she she outside the hospital, standing in the rain without a umbrella. Her body shakes. Shock pluses through her viens. A clash of thunder echoes above her, and feel like she's reached the end of the world.
And there's only one person left to blame...for Dallas's crash. For Lewis' death.
Her.
It is my fault. Dallas is in a coma because of me. It's my fault he crashed in the rain.
"It's my fault," she whispers. "My fault," a nurse wheeling an elderly lady in a wheelchair asks if Evie needs help, but she shakes her head violently, and pushes through the doors into the breaking dawn....rilled with rain, thunder and melchonaia she cannot fix or place.
She feels herself slump, but holds herself together with her arms that wrap themselves around herself —and stares in the downpour before wandering home aimally like a star that's lost it's glow, it's shine, it's light, it's life.
Because if she is turning into a supernova, she doesn't want a single soul close to her to see it.
And she runs in the rain towards her car, and with a strang,ed sob, fiddles with the keys to unlock it. When she's unlocked it, she just pushes herself down into the driver;s side seat, and stares at the windshield, at the grey downpour soaking the window before she let's out a cry, the events of the last forty-eight hours sinking in.
Cora lost her baby. Dallas was hurt in a car crash. Jacob probably hates her guts. Her parents will be frantic wondering why she hasn't headed home. Lewis is gone, gone gone.
Everything is my fault.
***
BY THE TIME SHE WAKES UP, HER DASHBOARD IN HER CAR READS: 7AM. She had drifted asleep from crying herself out, and now she looks like a weeping angel. Her massacre is smeared into the rims of her eyes, her skin, clogged with tears, and her head feels like it's pulling with a slight headache.
It's when she rubs at her eyes and reapplies a small layer of lip-balm in the car, that the wrap of a knuckle on the car window starles her. It's a boy — one with green eyes and jet-black hair. Bradley.
Thye share a few classes. And it was impossible for her not to know him. He was sweet, has a good sense of humour and sometimes walked her to and from different classes before he headed to his own—Evie remembers Cora saying he was 'help anyone type'. However, Evie knows this boy did sure pick his timing.
She looks like a wreck, feels like shit and envy the shrimming smile on his mouth. His star tattoo's on his neck crane as he signled for her to open her window. She begrudliedy did so, also while trying to hide her face by looking half-at him, half through the windshield.
"Evie, you alright?"
She nods. "Sure." She lies. Perfectly. Bradley smiles. Good thing he doesn't know anything If he didn't he'd try to fix all her problems. She didn't want someone to wallas in and fix things. She needs comfort in the form of a hug from her mother—which was a rare and beautiful thing—a nice cup of tea to sooth her heart—and to sleep this morning away before her parents give her a mouthful when she gets home.
Home.
She grimaces. Bradley's chiselled jawline turns to the side. Evie had zoned out of his conversation...and she realised she had no clue what he was talking about now.
Someone about American football.
She turns the engine of her car—a white ren clio. Bradely has to pull his arms off from the window before she says. "Listen, I can't talk now, Brad. I have to get home. Tell my parents I was with Cora...then make her a hospital bag...I'll catch up with you later."
He looks at her stunned. His green eyes dulled, with his brown eyebrows lifting upwards in surprise. "Okay. Yeah. Sorry...I'm a talker, you know? I just saw you in the car...you looked like you were about to cry and wondered if you were okay."
The honest statement from Bradley had Evie teeth between her lip in a painful bite. Guilt riddle her chest, and for a moment, she thought about apologising to him. He is only a boy who sees a sad girl and wants to cheer her up...
"I'm sorry, Bradley but this—"
"No, it's fine. I'll talk to you later."
He waves her goodbye as she then pulls out the parking lot and watches his form disappear in the rear-veiw mirror—but all she can see is her own face. Puffy, red, swollow eyes. Pale skin, and half-bitten bottom lip...with a empty that stirs thunderstorms in hands that clutch the steering wheel. Breathing heavy, she let's out a strangled sob—and makes a turn for the highway. No destination in mind, she just drives, with the windows rolled down, the cold, after-rain smell clings ot her shirt, and soothes her teathers that broken in her mind with resourcing memories.
By the time she reaches the end of the road, the clouds above are angry—a deep, muted grey. For a single moment, she thinks it's alright if she steps out her car—and let's the gush of rain fall down her. Soaking her to the bone. The radio on in her car plays something soft, true piano music. And she stares aimlessly at the tree line. Before she rolled her windows shut.
Then the rain descends on her and she closes her eyes.
It's my fault, brother. All of it.
Little did Evie know the boy Bradley with the star tattoos on his neck and cheerful grin, had already make the call to the one person who she wanted to run into their arms.
Jacob Faith.
And he was coming for Evie. If she likes it or not.
***
***
"Lewis, I can't—"
Swim, she thinks.
He unclips her seatbelt with blunt rage. His gaze is fire on ice, and it makes Evie want to burst out crying. "I know. I'm going to get you out first, but you have to help me."
Her bottom lip trembles.
He comes impossibly closer. She takes note of the glass that shattered into his cheek. But he's uncouneerved about himself when he plants a small kiss on her forehead, before he tries to yank the window open with a balled fist. It was like pounding steel.
"C'mon, goddamn it!" he yells with such force, it shake her soul.
"Lewis," she says. "Lewis, we're sinking."
He stares at her before he takes a deep breath before he runs his long, pale fingers through his brown hair. "We are. But we are going to suriveve this, Evie. I promise...." he trails off.
Then he pounds the roof top window again with his fist. Until he out of breath, until there's a small crack in the window and the pure white day is all they can see for miles.
"Climb out, Evie."
She stares at him, hesitent. "Not without you, Lew."
"Climb out," he yells. The angry tone in his voice makes Evie want to sob.
"I'm scared."
He grabs her hands in his. His breath fades over her face and he calls out to her. "I'll be right behind you."
"You promise?"
He chuckles. It was light in the darkness of this moment. "I promise."
***
BY THE TIME SHE HEARS THE WHITE TRUCK PULL UP BESIDE HER CAR, THE NEWS OF DALLAS'S ACCIDENT IS HUMMING ON THE RADIO, causing a fightful static to weaving into Evie's chest and it makes her world spin out of control.
"This is your local radio station, FiveLive! Reporting the news today. First, there are major storms heading through the valley. Locals are to remain vigilant. The government has urged everyone to not travel under any circumstances, unless deemed necessary. As the weather reports are seeing some unusual activity heading in from Florida and making its way to the state of Okalhuma and beyond.
Other news today is there has been a sad passing of the local–Billy Mayer who has sadly passed after his long fight with cancer. His friends want to send their thoughts and prayers to his close family...anyone who was close to Billy can attend his Memorial Service next Sunday at Church for a servious.....
Also, it happened only a few hours ago, but Police have discovered an overturned vehicle heading East towards the Hospital. It is said to believe there is one driver in a serious condition...with mutable injuries. Fire departments had to cut the twenty-year-old out of his car and air lift him to the ER. More updates about the young man's condition will be arriving soon."
Evie senses her car door being opened. She looks to the side and sees him climbing in—bringing with the smell of damp rain, and eyes that look like hot coals, burning her into her seat–as he shuts it close.
"Evie," he says gently with a slight smile on his lips. "What are you doing?"
It takes Jacob a moment to notice the tear-tracks on her beautiful, small face. The way her fingers are shaking in her clasped hands, the way her eyes look so full of...sorrow.
He moves in his seat until his face is inches from hers. "Evie," he breathes. He gingerly presses the palm of his hand on her face–cupping her cold cheek to him as he searches her gaze. Her once, bright, brown eyes are dull—a lifeless pit of grey. Grey like the clouds outside of this car. And his frown takes shape on his face. "Evie, you're freezing."
Then he turns on the heating in the car and shrugs off his jacket. Before Evie knows it, she's being wrapped in it—a brown raincoat with white fluffy collar—and it smells like him. Soft, kind, warm....horses and something of Jacob himself. She leans into it, trying to let the waves of tears take her again.
"Talk to me," he begs. He holds her hands in his larger ones. The warmth from his palms warms her skin up—like fire touching ice—she tries to stir away from his gaze, but is transfixed by him.
He's here in all his Goldly beauty and she can't stand herself for been this close to him when she's broken into shards—she shakes, her body, and swallows hard. Jacob watches her throat, and soothes his hands over arms to rub heat into her body.
"Have you been in the rain all this time? God damn it, Evie! You'll catch you death! What the hell were you thinking? It's dangerous. This storm is..." He sees her swallow again and feels her hands tremble underneath his palms. He stares at her, his mouth slightly open before he crashes her trembling, cold body to his chest, and plants a kiss on top of her head.
"I'm sorry for been a jealous douchebag."
She trembles. "No, I'm sorry....I'm sorry. You shouldn't be with me. I'm no good, Jacob. No good to anyone...Dallas is in the hospital because of me."
Jacob pulls back. "What do you mean? He's had an accident, you aren't to blame."
She shakes her head, and gasps as words try to break out of her mouth in short, franic sobs. "It's my fault. I told him he wasn't there for Cora. He stormed off in his car. Then he's in the ER. Jake...it's happening again."
The redhead boy runs a hand through his hair and sighs before he runs his fingers over her chin, forcing her to gaze up at him. "Evie, you're not making any sense, darlin'. What is happening again?"
The look Evie sends Jacob has him growing immensely hopeless.
"Its my fault that my brother is dead, Jake. He's dead because of me. So Dallas...Dallas will be the same. It's happening again."
Jacob grabs her chin—until her eyes are nowhere but on his face, his penetrating gaze—his brown eyes scold her—and make her wince under the strain of them. The heat from his hands is like a jolt of dazzling, twisting lightning in a storm.
"Listen to me, Evs," he says calmly. His voice is like the rain dropping on the windshield. Receptive, soothing, strong and true. "You didn't do anything. Dallas made his choice to get into the car and drive at that speed. Not you. Just like I made the decision to come and get you in this storm. You didn't kill anyone Evie. You're a beautiful person. Kind, gentle...and you are not responsible for other people's decisions. Never think that, OK?"
His lips nearly press to her own but then she dips down and her face lands into his neck as cries wreck her body, so much, she shakes in his arms. But he holds onto her...hearing his heart crack open with the force of her grief.
Because a thousand rainstorms was never enough to replenish his aching soul from seeing her be swetp away by the waves of her un-charting grief and there was nothing he could do to shield her from it.
Yet he holds on to her—his arms loops around ehr waist and gather her into his chest. Her scent is everywhere—soft rose scented perfume–for a moment, he's blinded by it. Blinded by her.
The girl he's so helplessly, divinely, hopelessly in love with until he feels his arms grow heavy, until he hears her cries make nothing but a sound, until the rainstorms beating down on the car disappears into thin air, until her heavy-tired, cried out eyes drop and he tells her he will fight away her demons while she sleeps.
"Will you stay with me?" she asks...fighting to stay awake.
He presses another kiss to her forehead, breathing out. "Always, Evs."
As she taken away by sleep, he creases her face with tender affection and lands a brutal but soft kiss on forehead—and while he waits for her wake, he cries for her.
fun fact: this chapter has only been proof-read for half of the word count...so i'm sorry if there are errors, i am sorry. but hey, i was sitting writing this chapter until 2am and there happened to be a heavy rainstorm. it was in the dark, scared and when the rain came pelleting down on my window followed by a massive roll of thunder above me. i guess you could say my soul nearly jumped out my body. so, yeah, i jump easily at loud, unexpected sounds. long, story short, that rainstorm was the inspiration for this chapter! :)
and don't worry if you find any errors, mark them for me if you find any, and i'll go back and fix them asap, thank you.
also, this is important: I hope you guys are doing well and staying safe, eating a hot meal every day and remember to go easy on yourself and remind yourself you are here for a reason, you shine in your own ways and someone out there will see it one day and love you for it (let's hope Evie gets to know this soon? ) until then, love yourself, because self-love is just an important, and thank you for every single, vote and comment so far, it means so much to me.)
-Mel x