𝄃 𝄞♬♪ 𝄂
Show me, show me what I can do
To make all my dreams come true
When I've lost so much
How can I gain
The courage to rise up against the rain?
Show me, show me all I can be
When I look inside of me
I know I've lost so much
But in the dark
I'll show the world the brightest spark
And wake up
Wake up
𝄃 𝄞♬♪ 𝄂
Julie stood by the door, feeling her palms sweat more with every second. She was finally in Berklee College of Music, just outside the auditorium. After her audition, she planned to do a tour. The campus was beautiful and, no matter where she was, music could be heard flitting out of an open window or propped open door.
"Miss Molina, you will be up in a half hour. Prepare as necessary and I will come to get you in twenty minutes." She stood there, in a dress she found in her mother's old things. It barely hit past her knees, but had layers of shimmering purple and pink tulle over her white dress. She had to commend her mother's fantastic taste in outfits.
"Of course. Thank you." She nodded, and the stage manager walked out of the room. Julie didn't want to be left alone quite yet, but she didn't have another person to talk to. The green rooms were not large enough to fit much more than her, the vanity, and a keyboard. She fiddled with the keys, trying to keep her mind off of the impending audition and her overwhelming nerves.
Each minute slugged by at half the speed she wanted. She spent half of them re-reading her lyrics and making sure she knew every word forward and backward.
"Miss Molina, I'm here to bring you to the stage." Julie shook her hands out, took a deep breath, and walked out of the room. The hallways were dark, almost completely unlit, yet Julie could still see the person leading her despite her all-black outfit. "Wait here," she whispered, "until your name is called."
Julie nodded and stayed silent until her name was called by the judges.
"Do you require an instrument which is not already on stage?" A male voice called out and, upon seeing a beautiful, black grand piano, she shook her head and answered with a, "no". "You may begin whenever you are ready."
She sat at the piano, closing her eyes and picturing herself on the stage of the Orpheum, with her family and friends all watching her. She would've dedicated the song to her mother. The entire song was her mother's and she wanted to honor that memory, but write her own song to reply back with. If she was in the Orpheum, she would've mellowed out the crowd in preparation for the song.
"I'm barely hanging on to a string to guide me home, but there's something I've known all along." Julie played the instrumental, but slower and in a different key to elicit a more powerful feeling. "Life might be a test, but I'll go toe-to-toe and even if I give up, I'll grow."
Each word she sang brought her mother's promise to life to continue to grow and show the world that her spark couldn't be dimmed with any amount of darkness. Her light was so pure and beautiful and she couldn't wait to prove to everyone who ever doubted her that she was amazing. She wanted to prove to everyone who doubted the abilities of immigrants just because they didn't learn English first.
"That song was for my mother. She showed me how beautiful life could be if you pushed yourself out of your comfort zone. I have her to thank for this." Julie walked away from the stage, with a proud smile on her face. Though her father hadn't been able to come with her due to work and the inability to pay for a second plane ticket and have money to spare on a babysitter, she'd just have to tell him over the phone about how it all felt.
"Good job, Jules," She heard from whomever she passed. Her head turned, but she couldn't see who it was that said the compliment. A flash of blonde hair glimmered in the dim lights, but nothing else stood out.
Once she grabbed her few things from the green room, she nearly collapsed with relief that it was all done. More auditionees filed in, and she couldn't say she wanted to be in their position, with a later time. Getting it done felt like a relief.
"Good luck," Julie said to the next person that passed her, and they smiled gratefully. An hour ago, she would've felt the same way.
Then, she headed to the main building to do her tour. For an hour, she wandered through the campus, in awe of the beautiful buildings and all the history that surrounded her. Thousands of people who she admired had graced the halls she hoped to inhabit one day.
"Now, do you have any questions before we conclude this tour?" The guide asked, stopping in front of the statue that marked the center of the campus.
"I do," Julie said as she raised her hand. Her few questions, which were about some things she hadn't heard about during the tour, were answered flawlessly, along with a few questions from the other people in the group. She wanted to call her dad and tell him all about everything. If the clock on her phone was any indicator, it was the perfect time to call him. He rarely did anything before nine unless there was an early morning photo shoot.
She called him, hoping to hear his voice instead of the standard voicemail that she'd heard countless times before.
"Mija! How did it go?" Her father's voice sounded so nice after all that she had done that day.
"Amazing. I did as good as I possibly could've for my audition. They seemed to like it, but their faces were not the most expressive." She started to ramble on about her little hiccups—which no one would've noticed unless they knew the piece backwards and forwards like she did—before Ray told her he was proud of her.
"I'm proud of you. Your mother would be, too." She instantly stopped talking when her mother was mentioned. But, she knew her father was right. Her mother would be proud of her, no matter how her performance went. Julie did the best she could and she made herself proud. "You did the absolute best you could and this school would be stupid not to have you in their program."
"You're right, papi. Hey, I have to go get lunch and pack up before my flight. You'll pick me up from the airport, right?" They discussed their plans for another couple minutes before Julie had to go to get food. The night before, she had a flight to Boston and stayed in a hotel that was partially paid for by the college. Her flights were purchased and paid for by the college (their policy was that no student should be denied the chance to audition because they couldn't get a flight or hotel). She found it admirable.
Once she got her lunch from a cafe that was between her hotel and the school, she composed an email to the boys detailing everything. She promised them that much because she forbade them from coming to Boston to watch her audition. Seeing them would only break her focus and she needed all of her attention on her piece rather than three dead guys who had very little maturity in them. (And, for that matter, almost no attention span either. Or the ability to respect an institution such as this.)
The day was perfect and she couldn't ask for anything else.
Except for her mother.
Mom, I wish you were here. I wish you could see who I've become. I'm everything I ever dreamed I could be thanks to you. You didn't get to see who I've grown up to be here on Earth, but I hope you got to watch it up in heaven. I love you and I always will.
It wasn't the first time she wished her mother was still alive and it wouldn't be the last. Yet, she knew, with time, it would become less frequent. She wouldn't have the weight of the world in her heart every time she thought of her mother. It would, one day, grow to be less painful and not as often and she'd smile when she thought of the woman she strived to be. That day had yet to come. But it would.
Author's Note: I think that this is the perfect full-circle moment for Julie. She is singing her own version of her mother's song, the one that gave her the confidence to start singing again, to get into college. Make sure to vote and let me know what you think in the comments. All the best, MistyRider921.