It turned out, I didn't need to worry about Theo being recognized after all.
Because I didn't even recognize him as he came and stood beside me on the outskirt of The Grove shopping complex.
"Maisie," he said as a greeting, scaring the shit out of me.
I choked on the latte I was drinking, spitting it out in front of me onto the pavement. Rowan snickered beside Theo as I turned to them, liquid dribbling down my chin. I coughed for a moment more, trying to clear my windpipe, eyes watering as I wiped my mouth on the back of my hoodie sleeve.
"Sorry," Theo said, his voice slightly muffled behind the black mask he wore.
"It's okay," I responded, my own voice raspy as I held in a few more coughs.
Along with the mask, Theo wore a black baseball cap that aided in hiding most of his features, only leaving his dark brown eyes and long lashes visible. A black turtleneck covered his neck and he wore a black leather jacket over it paired with black jeans and black boots as if he was trying to embody a Good Charlotte song.
"Was your plan to blend in with the shadows?" I asked him.
Rowan laughed again at this and I felt oddly proud of myself that I'd made her laugh. I switched my attention to her and realized she'd even toned it down with her outfit. She wore a tight-fitting graphic t-shirt and light-washed skinny jeans with rips in them instead of her usual high-fashion moments.
They still stuck out a little, though. It was impossible for a pair like them to stop being attractive. These outfits just made them look attractive in a different way. It made me reconsider my leggings and pink hoodie, but then I remembered it didn't matter, as I'd be trying on clothing in a moment. Better to wear something that was easy to get in and out of.
"What store should we go to?" I asked. "I don't really know the best places to dress shop."
"I do," Rowan said. "Follow me."
I glanced at Theo who gave a slight nod and together we fell into step behind Rowan. Theo's cologne wafted over to me and I inhaled it, remembering how much I loved it. I really wanted to wear it myself. I decided to bite the bullet. "What cologne do you wear?"
"Versace Eros," he answered, his hands swaying at his sides as we walked. "Why?"
"I want to buy it," I told him. "It smells really good."
"It does," he agreed.
"You don't care it's a men's cologne?" Rowan asked, glancing over her shoulder at me.
I shrugged. "I don't really believe things should be gendered. Why would I not wear a scent I like just because it's marketed toward men?"
The corner of Rowan's lips twitched up before she turned back around, not saying anything else. I couldn't tell if she agreed with what I said or thought I was weird. Not that I really cared. I would wear whatever I wanted to, and not care what anyone had to say about it.
Rowan led us to Nordstrom and paused by the glass doors of the entrance. People swarmed around us and I remembered that it didn't really matter if it was a weekend day or not— this place always felt swamped. Theo stood unnaturally still, arms tight by his side, gaze directed toward the ground. Rowan also seemed uncomfortable, her gaze never stopping, scanning the area, as if on high alert.
"Let's go in," she said after a moment. "We'll be able to find something here."
"Is here okay?" I asked as we entered the building, a wave of cool air hitting us, the AC blasting even in October. "Don't they usually ask who you're wearing on a red carpet?"
Rowan threw me a look that made me feel stupid for even asking. "You're not a celebrity," she stated. "They aren't going to care about you that much. And I thought you didn't want any attention drawn to yourself, anyway? Don't even go with Theo on the red carpet."
I didn't answer her, trying not to get offended. Rowan's way with words left a lot to be desired. Instead, we walked in silence to the dress section, an awkward atmosphere now hanging over us. Rowan seemed unbothered, of course, but Theo still looked tense. I wondered if he regretted his decision to come here with me. Was he worried someone might recognize him? Maybe it would be best if I finished up here quickly.
"You said you wanted our outfits to match, right? But aren't you just wearing a black suit?" I asked Theo as we wandered through the clothing racks, unsure of what I should be looking for.
"I'm wearing maroon," he said, watching as Rowan picked up a floor-length black dress. "I think you should wear a lighter color."
Rowan put the black dress back. "I'm thinking white, but I'm worried she's too pale to pull it off."
I couldn't even be offended by that. I liked to stay inside. And I didn't see the point in getting a fake tan, either.
"Cream should work," Theo said, stepping up to one of the racks, and sorting through the dresses.
Rowan studied me for a moment, her arms folded over her chest, eyebrows furrowed. "I suppose that would look good with maroon, too. Maisie, do you have any insecurities?"
I blinked at her. "...You're just going to ask me right out like that?"
"So I can avoid them."
I pointed at my face. "What if it's all of me?"
"I could give you a paper bag for your head, but you'd still have to wear a dress," she told me, smirking.
Theo sighed. "Rowan."
"I'll wear whatever you put me in," I told her. "Just choose what you think is best."
Rowan considered this. "Okay. Give me a few minutes. What size are you in dresses?"
"Medium?" I guessed.
"A number, Maisie."
"My pants size is six?" I offered.
Rowan closed her eyes for a moment, rubbing her forehead. "Okay. I guess I can work with that."
Rowan stalked off on her own and I started to follow but stopped when Theo didn't move. "Are we supposed to follow her?" I asked him.
He shook his head. "Rowan can handle it. Unless you want to."
"I'm okay here," I said, veering my course to the nearest selection of dresses. "She seems fashionable. I'll trust her choices."
"She is," Theo agreed. "Sometimes she fights with my stylist. And wins."
"How did you meet her?" I asked to make conversation, picking up a dress at random, and then balking at how short the hem was. Would that even cover my butt cheeks? I suddenly regretted not giving any input to Rowan.
Theo moved closer to me, his hands in his jacket pockets. "We went to school together."
"I imagine she ran that school..."
Theo's eyes crinkled a little and I wondered if he was smiling under his mask. "She was popular, yes."
I selected another dress, this one significantly longer than the last, and with long sleeves. "Can I wear long sleeves?"
"You can wear whatever you want."
"So I can't show up in a paper bag like Rowan said?"
Theo hesitated a moment. "I wouldn't advise it."
I smiled, but it quickly fell, as I couldn't tell if he was joking or not. He didn't look at me, preoccupied with a group of girls walking by who kept stealing glances at him. I kept poking through the dresses, noticing the group coming back our way, giggling with each other. Again, they kept staring at Theo. It made my pulse pick up. There was no way they recognized him, right? He was completely covered up.
Theo hadn't moved from where he was standing even though I'd now taken a couple of steps away from him. He still had one hand on a dress, frozen there. I abandoned my section and went back to him. "Let's check over here," I suggested, pointing toward the opposite direction of where the girls stood. He didn't move, and the girls inched toward us a little more. I tugged on his sleeve, making him release the dress. "Come on."
This time he listened to me and we went a few aisles down, moving around to the back side of an escalator so we were out of sight. Theo kept looking behind us, nearly walking into displays. I took hold of his sleeve again to guide him in the right direction.
"Are you okay?" I asked as I found a private area in the shoe section.
"Yes," he responded, his voice sounding distant, his head still twisted around to face the other direction.
"Do you think they recognized you?"
"It's not that," he responded, finally turning back to me. "I thought I recognized one of them. Although it shouldn't be possible..." He said the last part quietly, as if not meant for me to hear. Sweat beaded on the exposed skin of his face. "Don't mention this to Rowan."
Again, curiosity bit at me, but I shoved it aside. "Let's head to the dressing rooms. I'm sure Rowan will be calling us to go there, anyway."
Theo nodded and as I thought, Rowan was waiting for us at the dressing rooms when we arrived. Even though it'd only been a short amount of time, she'd gathered an armful of dresses, and I knew this was not going to be a quick try-on. "Ready?" she asked me.
"As I'll ever be, I guess," I responded, uncertainty bubbling up as I took notice of one extremely short dress. Maybe Rowan felt comfortable in that kind of clothing, but I didn't. Fortunately, there were some floor-length ones in the mix.
"Good luck," Theo said.
As we went to enter the dressing room, Rowan paused for a moment, coming to a dead halt. I nearly bumped into her, but before I could say anything, she made her way inside.
Now alone with her, my anxiety spiked even more. We choose the room closest to the entrance because I figured we'd be showing the dresses to Theo and she walked in with me, hanging up all the dresses on hooks. "Go in order and let me know if you need help getting in it let me know."
"You're not staying in here with me?" I asked, feeling a little less nervous. I'd rather see the dress on myself alone first and then decide if I wanted other people to see it on me.
"No. Just come out when you're ready."
The first dress was a beige-colored, ruched, one-shouldered trumpet gown that I had no problems getting into. It was long enough that the bottom touched the floor, but there was a long slit in the side that went almost to my mid-thigh. I didn't like how my shoulder showed my bra, and I didn't necessarily want to go braless if I didn't have to.
But I still figured I'd go out and see what Rowan and Theo had to say about it. I threw my shoes back on because I refused to walk on the floors in socks and shuffled my way out, noticing Rowan had left the area entirely. She sat with Theo on one of the waiting sofas in front, rising to her feet as soon as she saw me.
"Not bad," she said, appraising me. "The color suits you."
My gaze switched to Theo to judge his reaction, but the mask and hat left little to reveal. As I was coming to realize with Theo, he was an unreadable person. "This dress isn't bad, but I'd prefer something I could wear a bra with," I told Rowan.
"You should have started with that," she responded, flattening her lips.
I shrunk in on myself. "Sorry."
"I think there are two long-sleeved choices. Try those on next. And Theo, don't be shy. Tell her what you think. Otherwise, she might think you hate it."
Theo sat up straighter as Rowan said his name. His eyes roamed over me slowly, head to toe, and my skin suddenly felt hot. "I don't hate it," he said eventually.
Was that a compliment? I couldn't tell. Rowan rolled her eyes. "Well, I guess it doesn't matter since she's not comfortable with this one, anyway. Next."
"I can try on the others you brought," I said, not wanting to have wasted Rowan's time. "It's not a big deal if I wear a strapless bra."
"It's up to you," she responded.
I decided to try them all on, starting with the strapless gown she brought, and then the two off-shoulder ones. Although they were all beautiful, none of them made me feel comfortable. I found myself missing my hoodie as the air tickled my bare shoulders as I walked out of the dressing room each time.
This time in a strapless gown, I had to keep hoisting it up so it wouldn't slip down. "Don't think this one is going to work," I started with.
"A shame," Rowan responded, circling around me. "You have a lovely neck."
A blush crept up said lovely neck and all the way to my cheeks. "That's... kind of a weird compliment."
She gave me a pitying look. "Shouldn't you be happy with any compliment?"
Now the red on my face was due to annoyance.
"I'm not wrong, though, am I, Theo?" she asked, twisting around to face Theo, who'd gotten tired of sitting on the sofa, and now stood off to the side.
I froze. She did not just ask Theo to agree that I had a lovely neck.
Theo also seemed taken aback by her question. His head snapped in our direction as if startled she was there. I frowned a little, wondering if he was still preoccupied with whoever he thought he saw earlier.
Rowan paraded me up to him, even though I dug my heels into the ground, trying to prevent her from doing so, but her strength was unmatched. She gave me a small shove, but I was wholly unprepared for it, and I stepped on the hem of the dress, pitching forward.
With incredible reaction time, Theo's strong hands captured my waist, holding me steady before I could faceplant onto the ground, but not preventing me from faceplanting into his chest as he pulled me to him. With our bodies pressed together, I could feel the warmth radiating off of him in contrast to the store's cool AC, and his scent engulfed me. My hands instinctively gripped his forearms for balance and I shoved myself back. A sharp radiated through my nose, although it wasn't a surprise. I'd seen him shirtless before. Those muscles were dangerous.
"Sorry!" I blurted, stepping away from him, my hand going to my nose.
"Rowan should be sorry," he responded. "Are you okay?"
I gave him a thumb's up, still backing away from him. "Yep. Just fine. I'm going to go try on the other dress."
Theo lifted his hand as if to stop me, but I bolted, embarrassment crashing over me. Not because I'd tripped, no, that was Rowan's fault, but because I'd definitely inhaled his scent with my face to his chest. I didn't even feel embarrassed. I felt horrified. Why had I done that? No matter how good he smelled!
"You are a pervert," I admonished myself quietly once I retreated into the dressing room, glaring at my reflection in the mirror. "Don't be so weird!"
Completely over this try-on, I looked at the two remaining dresses, and choose the one I liked most. It was a soft and dreamy cream-colored faux wrap gown with long sleeves and a plunging neckline, but not low enough that it would show my bra. I stepped into it, noticing it also had a thigh-high slit, but deciding I couldn't be completely satisfied, anyway. Once on, though, I realized I needed help zipping it up.
I poked my head out of my dressing room. "Rowan?" I called.
"Yeah?"
"I need your help."
There was a moment of silence and then a slightly reluctant. "Coming."
I let her into the dressing room, closing the door behind us. "Sorry, but I can't zip this up."
In an extremely un-Rowan-like fashion, she didn't try to tease me in any way as I moved my hair to the side so she could zip me up. She didn't move right away and I glanced over my shoulder back at her expectantly. "I think it's just a normal zipper."
Even more un-Rowan-like, she only gave a meek nod in response, avoiding my gaze. Her fingers went to my lower back and she yanked her hand back when she touched my skin. "Sorry."
"It's fine," I said. "It's not like I can do this myself."
She reached for the zipper again and this time zipped it all the way up in one go. A loose strand of my hair got caught and it pulled tight on my scalp. "Ouch, I think it got caught—" I started, but stopped as Rowan all but booked it out of the room.
I stared after her for a moment. "Okay..."
With my hair still stuck in the dress, I slowly walked back out, trying not to pull on it even more. My bare leg appeared with each step, but I didn't mind it as much as I thought I would. I could easily take smaller to steps to avoid the slit parting too much.
Only Theo stood outside the waiting room this time, off to the side again, as if he was trying to take up the least amount of space possible. I carefully made my way over to him, grimacing a bit every time my hair got tugged. "Where did Rowan go?"
"She said you needed heels."
"She doesn't even know my shoe size."
Theo shrugged.
Realizing it was only Theo I could ask an opinion from, I decided to keep my mouth shut. I already felt awkward enough, and I'd already decided this was the dress, so it didn't matter what anyone thought, anyway. I searched around for Rowan, but not a strand of red hair was anywhere in sight.
I returned my attention to Theo, my breath catching in my throat at the intensity of his gaze as I caught him taking me in. His eyes roamed over my body slowly like before, but this time it felt a bit different. All his focus was on me as if he was no longer lost in his thoughts. It felt like he was taking in every detail about me for the first time. His stare lingered on my bare leg for a moment, and although I'd expected to feel self-conscious, my heartbeat quickened instead.
I caught his attention.
When his gaze returned to mine, I expected one of us to shy away, but neither of us did.
"This one," he said eventually, voice a bit husky.
Or maybe it was just my information.
I cleared my throat, nodding my agreement, my hands clasped together in front of me. "I like it, too."
"Although it might have the opposite effect of what you'd like," he continued, shrugging out of his jacket.
My head tilted to the side, eyebrows furrowing as he folded his jacket over his arm. It took everything I had to keep my eyes on his face, and not his chest, where the turtleneck he wore clung to him like a second skin. "What do you mean?"
"You'll be turning heads in that dress."
"Ha," I blurted as a knee-jerk reaction to his words, heat creeping up my cheeks yet again. "That's not true. They'll only be turning because of you."
Theo didn't say anything in response, as enigmatic as ever. It only made me feel even more awkward— I'd basically shot down his compliment. He was just trying to be nice. I cringed inwardly, wondering how I could write romance so easily, but then not even be able to accept a little compliment from someone. "I'm going to go change back," I muttered.
I scurried back to the dressing room without waiting for a response and reached for the zipper of the dress.
Only to remember I couldn't reach it.
And Rowan was nowhere to be found.
Any ice feeling washed through me. Maybe she would be back soon.
In the meantime, I struggled to reach the middle of my back, stretching my muscles to their capacity, but the zipper remained out of reach. Sweat beaded at my forehead from my efforts, the dress becoming restrictive. The movement caused the hair stuck in my dress to be ripped out, making me reach my breaking point. That hurt. Defeated, I made my way back out, praying Rowan would be back.
She wasn't.
I thought about asking Theo, but...
His back was turned toward me, his muscles defined even through his shirt, causing my heart to skip a beat.
No. Best not.
As I opened my mouth to ask him to call Rowan, I realized the muscle definition was due to the rigid way he held himself— taut, as if ready to run at any moment. My mouth morphed into a frown as I drew closer. "Theo—?"
He didn't acknowledge me and I looked past him to see the same group of girls as earlier. Whoever they were, they set Theo on edge. Without Rowan around, a pit settled in my stomach. Could they be fans? Paparazzi? Why would Theo react so strongly toward them?
They headed in our direction and without thinking, I grabbed Theo's hand, pulling him back with me. He nearly stumbled, finally turning around to look at me, pupils dilated.
If I didn't know any better, I would think he was... scared.
More resolved, I led him back into the dressing room with me, setting the lock in place. I could almost feel the tension rolling off of him. "Can you call Rowan?" I asked him, wiping the sweat at my forehead. Now I not only felt overheated, but anxious with Theo in here with me.
"I tried," he said, his voice low. "I'm not sure where she went."
"Do you know those people?" I asked. "Are they paparazzi?"
Theo didn't respond for a moment, eyes on the flimsy lock of the fitting room. "No. Just... someone from my past."
I didn't think he was going to give me more information than that, and I didn't plan on pressing him for any. "Let's stay here until Rowan returns. I need her, anyway. I can't get out of this dang dress."
Theo turned around to face me and the fitting room felt ten times smaller than it already was. "You're not going to ask?"
"It's not really my business," I said. "But if they were dangerous in some way, I did take some self-defense classes in high school. I remember some things."
Whether Theo smiled at my attempt at a joke or not, I had no idea, because he still had his mask on. The dressing room just grew warmer and I folded my arms over my chest, trying to keep to myself as much as possible. Theo eventually abandoned his mask and hat, the heat getting to him as well.
My betraying thoughts went right to how handsome he looked, even with a slight sheen of sweat on his forehead. I didn't dare look at myself in the mirror. Why did they have to make dressing rooms so unbearably stuffy?
"I'm sweating through this dress," I groaned, once again attempting to reach for the zipper. If I could only reach, just to make it less restraining.
"Do you want me to unzip it for you?" Theo offered, setting his jacket down on the dressing room bench.
"Um..." I hesitated, but he was already behind me, his hand moving my hair, fingertips brushing against my skin, causing goosebumps to break out. "Sure."
I could feel him lift the zipper up, but then he stopped his motions. "...This goes lower than I thought it did," he spoke, his breath on my neck.
"Yeah," I managed, my body unbelievably rigid. It was almost as if his presence was tangible even when he wasn't touching me.
"Should I leave it?"
Part of me wanted to tell him, yes, leave it, but the part of me that kept growing overheated wanted just a little freedom. I was an adult— we both were. I could be mature about it. He'd just seen me in a dress with a low back, anyway. And he probably didn't think anything of it, which is why he offered— maybe Rowan asked him to do this all the time.
That thought made something knot in my stomach. Something I didn't care for and that I quickly shoved aside. "Can you just unzip it a little?" I asked.
He made a quiet, noncommittal noise in response, and I felt his hand at the zipper again. My own hands were clammy at my side, and I almost couldn't believe I was reacting like this. I didn't even have any feelings toward Theo, but there was something about him that made my heart race. His fingers touched my skin again and I nearly jumped, a literal shot of electricity running through me.
"Sorry," he mumbled. "Static."
"That should be good," I said quickly, reaching for my back again to see if I could reach my zipper, my other hand pressed to my chest so the dress stayed in place. "Thanks."
Our hands brushed as I did so and he stepped away, dropping the zipper. "All set."
"Theo?" Rowan's voice called, sounding muffled. "Where did you go?"
I couldn't believe it. She couldn't have shown up five seconds earlier and saved me some inner turmoil? Theo reached for the lock, not even hesitating after hearing her voice. Again, it twisted at something inside of me.
I needed it to stop.
Theo paused before leaving the dressing room, his back to me. "...You do have a nice neck."
I blinked after him as he walked out of the room, his words taking a moment to catch up to me. And when they did, my pulse exploded, thudding in my ears, my skin growing even hotter than the fitting room had made me.
My heart couldn't take this.
How would I make it through Sunday?