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THE NUMBNESS OF GRIEF WAS CRUEL. Everyone deals with it their own way; while some shed their tears, others keep a dry eye, a hot dragon of anger in its place. In some cases, some people dissociate, detaching themselves from reality and their bodies to float in a place where they are just numb and a shell—just a blank canvas. Astrid had all of the fire inside of her diminished—and now she was just there.
The days moved in slow motion. From waking up from her dreamless slumber to planning her mother's and father's funerals. Her chin, which was normally held high, angled a bit towards the ground. The only positive emotions she showed were the faux ones she had used with Maya.
She was tired and lacked the strength to do her makeup and make herself presentable. Her knees pull towards her chest, the soft cushion of the daybed on the balcony of her palace digging into her skin. Her watery eyes look over the lively Apollo. Days had gone by since the announcement of the Queen's death, they had inevitably moved on with their lives. It was as if time had stopped for only herself. A shaky breath leaves her lips, a ball of sobs forming in her throat that she fought diligently. Her chest rose and fell quickly yet so subtly that you would only notice if examining her.
Anakin noticed. From inside the room. He entered the bedroom in search of his wife, hoping she would finally eat something with sufficient nutrients and carbs, but all he found was the lingering aroma of her perfume and the silhouette of her trembling body cast by the curtains. He quietly makes his way outside, eyes moving to Astrid who fights herself, fighting to keep herself from breaking down again.
"Angel, I brought you some food," he says delicately, walking over to the coffee table in front of the daybed with a tray of food. Astrid looks up at the man as he does so, a twinge of relief shifting through her body that he was here. She was so glad that she had stopped running from him, Force knows what would have happened to her if he wasn't with her right now.
"Thank you, love," Astrid whispers so quietly Anakin almost didn't hear. She gives him the best smile she could muster before scooting over so he could sit next to her. Anakin's eyes move over his girl, a light, comforting smile gracing his lips. She was practically drowning in his hoodie, the fabric ending at her mid-thigh. Her hair was sloppily thrown in a braid to keep her hair out of her face. Astrid's chest tightens as he examines her, it was as if he could see right through her, "Please, sit with me, please."
"Don't panic," Anakin frowns as he sees the slight franticness in her eyes. He sits next to her, her head immediately resting on his shoulder. His arm wraps around her, hand gently rubbing the skin of her wrist. "I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere."
"You better not," Astrid sniffles, eyes moving to his face, "I don't think I can handle another loss. Without you, no doubt."
"You're stuck with me whether you like it or not, pretty girl," Anakin whispers, pressing a light kiss on the top of her head. Astrid shut her eyes basking in the feeling of Anakin's arms around her. He was truly her knight in shining armor because she would be lost without him.
"The funeral's tomorrow," Astrid shakily spoke, her eyes opening and moving to the dhebra (an Indian tortilla with a lot of spices and seasoning, that's the best I can explain it lol). Anakin had clearly ordered it from someone else because it actually looked edible. She could bare to eat right now, her appetite was gone. "I don't know if I'm ready, Ani."
"No one ever is," Anakin sighs, his mind wandering to how lost he felt when he had lost his mother. Their circumstances were frighteningly similar. Both of their mothers were kidnapped and taken when they weren't around, both of them tortured by sick excuses of life, both of them dying in their arms, and both of them lost control when it came to the perpetrator. So in some way, he understood, which made him the perfect person to be with right now. However, he knew that he didn't hold the weight of becoming the ruler of a planet while still grieving his mother's death. "You'll get through it, I promise."
"Mommy? Daddy?" A small voice interrupted Astrid from speaking. Both parents turn their heads to a freshly awoken Maya. The girl held her blanket to her chest, walking over to them and plopping down on Astrid's lap. A lazy smile lay on her lips. "Morning, Mommy. Morning, Daddy."
"Morning, lovebug," Astrid says, smiling lightly—it was the best she could muster. Her hands run through Maya's bed hair as Anakin greets her. Astrid realized that Maya was extremely emotionally intelligent. She could tell when her mother and father were upset and would go to them to give them some sort of comfort. And right now, she could tell Astrid needed it.
"Can we go to the garden today?" Maya asks, looking over at her parents who both nod in agreement. A break from the palace would be the best for all of them.
"I think that's a great idea, Cheeks," Anakin grins, pulling Astrid closer to his side. She really did need some time with the only family she had left. Astrid hums in agreement, resting her head again on Anakin's shoulder as Maya rested her head on her mother's chest. Anakin watches both of his girls relax in comfort with each other with a wide smile. Although they were all hurting, he knew they'd grow stronger together.
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𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐭 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐢 𝐟𝐞𝐥𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐢 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐢𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐚 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐞
𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐜𝐫𝐚𝐳𝐲 𝐫𝐧, 𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐝𝐛𝐚𝐬𝐡 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐝𝐮𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐢𝐬 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐮𝐩 𝐬𝐨 𝐢'𝐯𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐟𝐨𝐜𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐞𝐰 𝐝𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐡𝐢𝐠𝐡 𝐬𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐥
𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐨 𝐩𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐦𝐞! 𝐢 𝐡𝐨𝐩𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐞𝐧𝐣𝐨𝐲𝐞𝐝!
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