01| Catch
Ups and downs, highs and lows, fights and fun, love and heartbreak; we believe our lives are only driven by these extremes. Honestly, to a great extent it is, these situations are what shape us eventually but majority of life is truly hidden in the ordinary.
Life lies in days when we wake up to the alarm early in the morning to send children off to school, to eat breakfast in a rush brushing upon the last details of the document we left unread the previous night but not forgetting to kiss a goodbye to each other. It's sitting in front of the laptop for hours, vetting contracts, mugging information, meeting clients and still being able to sneak in a chat with friends during the lunch. It's in pushing yourself for one last pilate but feeling all okay finding your husband wait for you in car to go home. It is in grossing out at the sight of a bland dinner but eating it because you are a mother now. It's in sitting with your kids in the garden and hearing their stories of the day, screaming at them to stop fighting with each other or playing very recklessly. It's in scrolling through your Instagram reels, having your body ache in tiredness with your eyes full of sleep but instantly feeling better having your freshly showered husband hold you up and talk to you under the lamp.
Knowingly or unknowingly, most of our lives exist in the routine, the mundane, the dullness when we are too engrossed to feel too much, to think too much, when it's simply happening and we are going with the flow until we just can't.
Sithara was feeling the can't lately. Life has been too slow for a while now. She hardly got any time off work, Arsalan was busy himself, in fact they barely met the last three days. Children had just got done with their exams and spent all day nagging their grandmother for one thing or the other. She did not even remember the last time she had hung out with Kabir and Poorva.
Sithara was drained, & frustrated. She really could not see herself serving a purpose in life. She was just mindlessly doing her job, and struggling to buy herself a proper sleep at night, and regretting not having spent quality time with her husband and children.
"Yes." Sithara spoke over the call, getting out of her trance. It was from the NGO. "Ma'am I did visit the authorities regarding absence of teachers. The IAS agreed to do a tour of the government schools in the area from tomorrow and keep us in loop."
"Finally some build up. Did you also tell him that syllabus is never fully covered?"
"I did bring that to his attention and gave him the reports of the survey we did. He looked quite interested. Let's see. He knows Arsalan Sir."
"Oh that's nice. Okay, let me know the progress. I'll try be there day after tomorrow." Sithara concluded, hearing a knock on the door. "Come in." She assented, typing something on her laptop.
"Ma'am Arsalan Sir is waiting for you in his cabin." She looked up at the guy. "Okay, I'll meet him." She smiled. "How is the baby and the wife??"
"They are doing well Ma'am. Didn't want to leave them but work. Sir has already been generous enough to give me a month off."
"I understand. Let me know when you plan to settle them in Delhi. I'll ask the NGO to help you with it."
"Yes, sure Ma'am."
@Sithara "yes sir?"
"Arsalan I'm sorry." Sithara entered his cabin without a second thought to only disrupt his conversation with the client. "My bad. Really." She haphazardly retreated reading Arsalan's expression. His face was blank but she could see the silent disappointment carve on his face.
"Stay." He commanded before she could turn back standing up from his seat. "You can't reprimand your wife for not knocking the door before coming in." He smiled at the mid-aged man who sat in front of him but Sithara knew it was a all a facade. He couldn't help but slip in a taunt. He really disapproved of this habit of hers.
"Laksh said you called me." She began to explain but Arsalan cut her off with a chuckle, "See!" The client giggled too, embarrassing her more. He put his arms around her waist, finally introducing him to her. "Mr. Ijas, Secretary to Natin Gadkari, Minster of Road Transport and Highways."
"Glad to finally have met you Mrs. Azhar." He shook hands with her. "My wife really admires your work ethics."
"Oh, she is lovely indeed. I have had the opportunity to meet her a few times now, I'm looking forward to her joining the NGO." She didn't remember she knew him until he mentioned.
"She is excited too. All of us will catch up for dinner someday. I'll take a leave now." Arsalan and the man shared the last greetings and he saw him off, closing the door behind him.
"Ah, what are you sorry for besides forgetting every time to seek my permission before entering hm??" He asked her, looking down at his phone.
Sithara rolled her eyes. He irritated her. It wasn't that a big deal but he always made a fuss about it. She really did follow all the protocols of an employee still he did not let her go for missing on this one thing.
"I haven't read the annexure of the agreement yet." She answered with an attitude, making him stare at her.
She glared back at him unfaltered. She was ready a few minutes ago to accept her mistake but no more, if he will be rude and then she will be too.
"Go home, pack your clothes and.." She could not believe he was saying this over something so trivial.
"Yes so yeah.." He continued after reading the email on his mobile. "Basically only keep the essentials for all of us, not too much luggage. Ammi will help you pack for the children, I informed her."
"I'm not getting you Arsalan." She snapped at him.
"What's with the tone??" He called her out and it annoyed her even more. She hated how they could be ripping each other off but he'd still not raise his voice a bit. It always showed her in a bad light.
She did not say anything and nor did he until she lost her patience. She really thought it was a normal work call and not some husband & wife let's fight for no reason sesh. "Arsalan please elaborate."
"Sithara, I don't really have the time to Jaan." Arsalan was not even looking at her, he used 'jaan' not as an endearment but to tone down his follow my instructions without uttering a word. "You go home hn, pack. We have a flight at 3 am to Indore." She gawked at him taking in the information and a hundred of questions popped up in her mind.
"Sithara lockdown, told you. So quick baby." The endearments he used made her angrier. She knew he didn't mean to pet her right now.
'Told me??' She mentally screeched. Slipping in the word while having sex is not same as telling someone about something. She did not know he was serious, moreover he could not unilaterally decide for whole family??
"Arsalan let's just stay where we are, none of us is aware of the duration of the lockdown or the intensity of it right now. It'll be more convenient in every way possible if we are in Delhi, the business, NGO and better medical facilities, call Abba here nah." She put forth genuinely.
"I didn't ask for your opinion. I have decided. You know what to do han?" He shut her up.
"Listen, I cannot waive off my responsibilities of the NGO. I'll be needed. So I clearly cannot because what the fuck is a lockdown???" No body had ever heard of the term from the government before. There was no official word on it as of now, countries in Europe were closing down and it looked scary but she could not imagine it as a reality to her.
Arsalan understood that Sithara wasn't wrong to want to stay in Delhi but he had put enough thought to it and concluded it was better to be in Indore. Tier two cities were better protected from the infection, and he has all the resources available to him at a call in his hometown. He could never undermine the power his family held in the city.
"You'll figure out a way to help." He plainly answered.
"Arsalan why do you have to be so selfish always??? I don't want to live in your house." He got irked hearing her words. Right now he was only thinking about them, his family, how was that being selfish? And always?
"It's going to be a difficult time Sithara." Arsalan tried to keep his composure. He had been following every information about Covid-19 since the beginning. He had been aware of the situation in China and his sources in the government had informed him that circumstances weren't good in India either, rather it was bad, especially in the metro cities like Delhi and Bombay due to large influx.
"It's going to be difficult so we are running away??? Right? Amazing. How convenient!!! Who cares what your wife thinks? Who cares about other people who would need you? Let's run away to Indore."
Arsalan was so offened. Nobody offended him like her. It was true that people who truly know you are the only ones who are capable of hurting you. How stupid it was to expect an understanding from someone who barely knows what goes inside your heart? But how cruel it was to get hurt by someone you open your heart to??
"Sir, Mr. Rastogi is in conference room."
"I'm coming." Arsalan left without adding a word.
"I will not pack for you okay? Do it yourself." Sithara yelled not sure if he heard.
She had to give up. She had no option. And she really didn't want to test Arsalan with this? He could really fly to Indore with his mother and his children, leaving her here after how she had behaved. She did not want to be alone in a lockdown.
"Kabir?" She ranted to him as if Arsalan wasn't in the elevator.
@Sithara my stars
Panic. Sithara didn't know what to keep and what not. She took almost her entire wardrobe on holidays and here, she had to shift for an indefinite period of time.
She sucked her saliva seeing the wall clock. It was twelve already. They had to leave in the next thirty minutes. She was losing her mind.
Her closet was out on the floor, piles and piles of clothes with footwears here and there. She had to take her skincare, her books, her accessories and what not. She could cry. She wished if somebody could pack for her too like she just did for her kids but no, rather she also has to pack for Arsalan. She hated him so much.
"Sithara." She heard Ammi call her from down the stairs. "The driver is here. Come soon."
Sithara's anxiety shot up and she stuffed her bags however the way she could. She did not remember if she had anything in Indore. And anyways, it wasn't just today, she wasn't good at packing ever.
She quickly prayed in the temple of their house, seeking blessings as the helpers put the luggage in the car. Ammi was afraid of how things were unfolding but she was only glad that she was going back to her husband with her son & his family. The children didn't know what was up, and they cared the least. They were just happy that we were going to Indore.
Arsalan came to the airport directly from office. He was still in his suit and I felt uneasy at the sight. He loosened his tie. "Ammma would have made us miss the flight." He announced, holding Athiya's hand. We were obviously late but thanks to Arsalan and his connections. He got us to have an easy boarding. I rolled my eyes. It wasn't my fault.
"I told her Madhia's clothes would fit her perfectly, she had a nice collection." Ammi repeated and Sithara felt awkward. She couldn't be expected to do this now.
"She is carrying more than the five of us combined. Sure, she wouldn't need anything." Arsalan didn't heed to Madhia's mention but he wanted to remark at the luggage she had brought. It was insane. He hated it.
Sithara did not understand the problem. She was sure he didn't care about the money he paid for the extra pounds then what was the issue. Why did he always have to taunt her. He knew she couldn't pack.
"Arsalan what was the need to shop at the airplane by the way?" Ammi asked, pointing at the paper bags.
"Sithara said she won't pack for me." Sithara wanted to kill him and leave really. It wasn't funny.
"I would have done that for you." Ammi replied and Sithara lost it. She walked out of the conversation to get herself some air but Arsalan held her back by her wrist and kissed her cheek making her stand with him.
She did not melt. He didn't leave her hand after that but it was too late. She was not even going to ask if he ate anymore no matter how much the question bothered her, knowing Arsalan never ate flight food.
thoughts?? anything you'd want me to write upon???