A/N: 9 CHAPTERS LEFT AGHHHH, IM SO SAD.
Now, your probably looking at this chapter number, contemplating why the author (the evil plot twist lady she is.) left me in the Neverseen. You see, it's all too simple, so simple, that the most complex thinkers overlooked it, due to their tendencies to overcomplicate situations that were really quite evident. Overlooked that maybe, one of their own.
Was betrayimg them.
All of my life, I've consumed myself with feelings of envy. Growing up, I watched as my friends and peers were chosen for special schools and programs, while I was left behind. Even my parents struggled to find good jobs because of their lack of talent.
Sophie rejecting me, telling me "better as friends", but I really know she doesn't want to get caught with me, a person whose family's talentless.
I love my family, with all my heart, but I will always resent them, deep down in my heart, for not giving me the oppurtunities that all my friends got. And I feel guilt for resenting them. But I missed out, on making friends, of special schooling oppurtunities, of real friends, geniune friendships, romantic relationships, because their scared of me, of my family. No more.
So when Gisela, saw me, saw my potential, she realised how special I was. I jumped at the chance to finally show the world. My powers.
So everytime, Gisela brags about her talented technopath. I kind of...shiver. The fact that...they don't know it's me makes me, feel sick.
So I left, but Gisela threatened me. My family, my friends or saving myself.
Sometimes, I even feel immense guilt that sometimes tiny fractures show. And nearly, losing Sophie was just too painful. So I returned. And found where my true loyalties lie. But I can't even begin to imagine what will happen, when they find out it was me...the mole.
Will they hate me? I was only trying to help them. But they may take it the wrong way? What if they never forgive me?
As I sat in the Neverseen, I couldn't help but think about the consequences of my actions. I had betrayed the people who had taken me in, who had trusted me. I had given away their secrets, their plans, their weaknesses. I had unknowingly sacrificed them and myself.
I buried my head in my hands, sobbing.
But then Gisela approached me, placing a hand on my shoulder. "Dex, my dear boy," she said softly, "don't cry. You've done well. You've proven your loyalty to the cause, and that is what matters. Loyalty is more important than mere, emotions. Those who love you will just manipulate your feelings, loyalty, is more important, devotion instead of manipulative emotion. I've always valued hard work. Not loved. "
Words raced through my head and my airways felt like they were blocked.
But then I stood and felt something shift in me. I felt a sudden surge of power, of control. I realized that I had the upper hand now. I knew their every move, their every weakness.
I wiped away my tears and looked at Gisela with a steely resolve in my eyes. "You're right," I said, my voice void of any emotion. "Loyalty is all that matters. Emotions only cloud judgment and hinder progress."
This was for my family, I was building a better world faster than the Black Swan, all they did was calculate never made any moves.
The time was now.
Gisela smirked, clearly pleased with my response. "Good," she said, nodding approvingly.
And I could use that knowledge to my advantage. The thought of it made me feel powerful, almost invincible. I wiped away my tears and looked up at Gisela, a cold smile on my lips.
This was for them. All for them
So of course I knew about Midnights, the secret organisation, they fooled us all. When I saw Jolie in the "obviously fake" Neverseen cloak, I knew and her green eyes remained a mystery but I always knew. Acting was coming naturally now.
They should be grateful I jump at chances to build such a powerful empire, where I just may spare them any bloodshed.
So of course I knew about Midnights, the secret organisation, they fooled us all. When I saw Jolie in the "obviously fake" Neverseen cloak, I knew and her green eyes remained a mystery but I always knew. Acting was coming naturally now.
In fact, my entire life was based on what they could get out of me: I knew nothing about the future, what would happen. My only goal was survival,
As I walked away from Gisela, I felt a sense of coldness settle over me. I had felt myself become a different person. And I was okay with that. Because in this world, the strong survived. And I was determined to be one of them.
No one lived by being kind.
Change requires sacrifices.
And the Black Swan...were just too kind to see that.
But then I felt myself really change....it was unsettling at best
With each act of betrayal, I felt a twisted satisfaction. I reveled in the power I held, the control I had over both sides of the conflict. My heart grew colder, my emotions buried deep within me, as I embraced my new persona as a heartless manipulator.
They had this coming. So I continued to play the double agent, and they suspect nothing!
As the Neverseen's attacks on the Lost Cities intensified, I continued , always one step ahead of the Black Swan. I watched as the people who had once been my allies became suspicious of each other, their trust eroded by my actions. I reveled in the chaos and destruction I caused, knowing that I was the one pulling the strings
In fact, days turned into weeks, no suspicion, Sophie, in the absence of Keefe started turning on all our friends. The attacks turned personal as I fed information to the Neverseen on all of us. Sophie grew suspicious of all but me.
Her best friend.
She had ghosted practically everyone.
I felt guilt at the thought of Sophie, but I pushed it aside. This was bigger than just one person's feelings. This was about changing the world, about creating a better future for my family, for everyone.
Pain was hard.
For everyone
And because she's the moonlark she get's a hall pass?
I felt everything, all the bitterness, the nastiness, the unapolegtic people, the rude people, the resentment, the disgust radiating off people who hated my family. I dealt with all of it. All of the crap my family had gone through, the long nights, the tears, the hate, the bullying the absolute hatred. I never ever would imagine myself resigning to the Neverseen, but I have no choice.
No choice but to force for a better world, even if it means sacrifice. Because I made plenty of those, just to come to Foxfire everyday.
Sophie, just gets a pass for being special. Because she's the "moonlark". She hasn't specifically done anything life changing for me. I just thought-nothing.
I am special too
Why can't people understand that?
How I longed to feel that same kind of acceptance Sophie immediately got. The injustices in this world were not even recognised by those who suffered from them. Sophie suffered immese discrimination as well as praise, as if she was a hero already!
As I continued down this path, I couldn't help but feel a sense of regret at times, there were people out ther like me, just wanting to live a normal life and couldn't. And they were being hurt, because of me.
But then I remembered why I was doing this. It wasn't just for me, it was for all those who suffered like me.
I WAS DOING IT- EVERYTHING- FOR THEM!
I shook my head as it started to tingle and my mental mask slipped but I adjusted in subconciously and kept walking, my skull slightly sore.
It wasn't about me, it was about creating a better world for everyone
It wasn't about peace-
It was about sacrifice-
Sacrifice is a much more quicker option than merely- "working things out"
I refuse to hurt innocent people or cause destruction for the sake of it. I only take action when it was necessary to achieve our goal.
And I know that I would never be accepted or celebrated like Sophie, but that didn't matter to me. I had a different purpose, a different calling
I could feel it
In my self
In my life
In my past
This is my calling
Not peace
Not the easy road.
I choose the hard road, I choose sacrifice
I may not be the "moonlark" or receive the same recognition as Sophie, but I knew in my heart that I was making a difference in my own way. And that was enough for me.
As I walked, I couldn't help but ponder, what it would be like, if we were all the same, would change ever come?
Would we have oppurtunities?
And if so, what if I'd never been a kid of a talentless.
How I would be well off at all?
Knowing that our so called "perfect and desirable" world was a corruption, was something so corrupted that we, as the fortunate cannot recognise the imperfections that present themselves in our perfect little worlds.
The fact that we are so caught up in the wealth, status and where we stand in this world that we cannot truely recognise our downfalls.
Not anymore.
No.
I won't allow ignorant wealth-obsessed, high status individuals have oppurtunities that misfortune me.
I will sacrifice
I will take the hard road.
I will work towards a better future.
Even if it is the neverseen
Even if its the sacrifice
Even if its the hard road that will be worth taking.
Even if I have to give things up for it.
Suffering has cost me- so so so much.
However, as I looked back on the path I had taken, I couldn't help but feel a deep sense of sadness for the friends I have lost along the way, the ones who will not understand my choices and ultimately would feel betrayed by me, by my actions. Once they figure out it's me-
Pursuit of change comes a cost. And living life always comes with challenges.
Whether change was an illusion
If we are real at all.
Surrounded by a large galaxy stretching for miles
Isolated in space.
Waves crashing onto a white sandy shore.
The world goes silent
As if holding its breath
And I take the less chosen path.
One small insignificant moment
But changing the story forever.
Swan Song.
A/N: I feel like this don't need no note so just let that sit for noe
Pls vote, comment and add to reading list for updates!