M.Manipulative x Reader
{Mental Illness}
Wedding bells chimed as petals flew through the air, music playing from the orchestra in the grand garden.
A giddy smile crossed her lips, clutching the bouquet in her hands, the veil over her face concealing her dolled up features.
Nobles from all over the country had come to see this wedding and the common folk were celebrating their queen. But the queen title didn't matter to Y/N, she just wanted her soon to be husband, her love.
While most weddings at the time we're done for alliances and power, this was just pure love.
Eyes from foreign, but somehow familiar faces were all locked on her as she walked down the aisle, the train of her white dress trailing behind her.
She was nervous and wanted to just sprint to her fiancé, but kept her composure.
The king smiled down at her as she walked to the podium, watching as she walked up the two small steps before facing him.
Y/N squeezed her bouquet tighter as the priest started to initiate their elopement, her e/c eyes peering up from the veil at his stunning green ones, his auburn hair tied back behind his head.
"You may kiss the bride." The priest said happily, the veil slowly being raised off her face by her soon-to-be.
The cold sun touched her skin, the day was beautiful.
She smiled radiantly, glancing up at the sky and it's grey color.
Her smile faded.
"My love?" The king cupped her cheek, bringing her eyes back to him. "Are you alright?"
"I-" She stuttered, the sky- the sun- "Why isn't it warm?"
The sun was on her face, yet her body was cool. The multiple layers of dress did not feel thick or warm, they felt thin, like she wasn't wearing all these layers at all.
Her mind began to spin, as she took a shaky step back, looking at the crowd now.
All of them still smiled, unfazed by what was happening. "Who are those people?" She asked, noticing the blur to their faces. They were so familiar, every single one, yet something just wasn't right. They were off. Why were they strange?
"You may kiss the bride!" The priest repeated again, bringing Y/N's eyes back to the priest who still stood beaming.
"My dear please, your being irrational, nothing is wrong." Her husband said.
"No no- no it is wrong- it's-... it's... what's... what's your name...?" She asked slowly. What's her husbands name? Why didn't she know that?
He didn't respond, and the sun started to grow in size, it's harsh lighting making her squint as her breathing picked up. What was happening!?
The world started to fade, the sky darkening, the people fading out of focus, all of it, out of focus.
Her back started to hurt, feel cold. Like cold metal, specifically.
"Why is the sun cold?!" She screeched, tears blossoming in her eyes as she gripped the bouquet in terror. The bouquet gripped her back, making her look down to see they weren't flowers at all- it was a hand now wrapped around hers.
Y/N screamed as the world around her faded away, losing the ability to move her arms and legs.
"Sedative!" Someone yelled, a sharp pain cutting into her shoulder only causing her panic to down spiral. She thrashed against the restraints that held her to the metal table, her movements slowly dying down as the world faded again, but this time, into black.
"You dreamed of him again, didn't you?"
She nodded, her knees pressed to her chest as she sat on the couch, her eyes fixated on the floor.
The doctor sat across from her, jotting things down on a clipboard, adjusting the glasses that rested over his green eyes.
She couldn't look right at him. He looked too much like- him.
"I'm not going to lie to you, Y/N, your condition has... worsened. But, that doesn't mean there's no hope." He leaned forward and patted her knee, bringing her eyes back up. The man she was in love with in her head looked identical, so identical, that it was hard to push her feelings away from her doctor. She knew they weren't the same, and it was only coincidence that her insanity somehow fell in love with the image of her doctor, but knowing that still didn't make it easier.
"You look just like him, Dr. Keshner." Y/N mumbled, looking away again, her hands balling into fists. She wanted to hug and kiss him, to tell him that she loved him with all her heart, but they were two different people, in two different worlds.
"I know." He said softly, leaning back in his chair. Keshner looked at her seriously, placing his hands in his lap. "Do you have feelings for me, Y/N?" He asked, needing to know.
She hesitated, but shook her head, causing his eye to twitch. "No... no I don't. Just because you look like him... doesn't... mean you are him." She explained, glancing up at his cold expression. Her doctor was always a serious, professional man, but today his stare seemed extra dark.
Y/N smiled weakly, trying to be nice. "I can still tell something from reality..." She snickered awkwardly, before her smile faded, and she looked away. "You don't have to worry about feelings or anything." She said quieter, trying to assure him.
"I see." He replied quietly, straightening his posture. "I think we need to up your dose." He hummed, causing her to shrink into the seat.
"But they make me sleep so much more and-"
"That's how your going to overcome this, Y/N. You have to start training your brain to combat your dreams." He explained, smiling softly at her so she wouldn't be so nervous, though he knew her nervousness was entirely valid.
She rubbed her face in irritation and sighed before nodding solemnly. "Okay." She mumbled.
He leaned forward and patted her knee again, sending sparks up her body that she tried to ignore.
Dr. Keshner stood from his seat and offered his hand out to her. "Want to go on a walk?" He asked, and she nodded, taking his hand- the feeling reminding her of the 'bouquet.' Maybe he had been the one there during her freak out, it wouldn't surprise her.
She found herself squeezing his hand a little tighter as they left the room, making the doctor swallow slightly, enjoying that very much so.
The plush blankets of the bed surrounded them as he pulled her into him. After the wedding, the two had been as close as peas in a pod, unable to separate from the other.
The couples lips connected, her hands running through his long hair as his hand roamed up and down her back.
The past few days had been wonderful, she had been with her king nonstop, no interruptions or work getting in the way of their love. The kingdom had been thriving, not a single thing seemed to be wrong.
She smiled through the kisses, just now realizing the two had never kissed. All throughout their relationship, never had they kissed, never had he even touched her like this.
It was heaven.
Every touch made her feel alive, his calloused hands roaming around her body before his tongue licked her lip, asking for entrance.
She gladly allowed him, and felt him enter her mouth, blushing a tomato red from the action, but let it continue.
As he explored her mouth, her hands continued to explore his body, memorizing the feel of his skin, the shape of his muscles.
Her nose scrunched as suddenly a chalky, bitter taste filled her mouth, making her furrow her brows. The flavor stuck to her tongue like paste, making her want to pull away, but her lover held her tight, seeming to push the awful flavor deeper into her mouth, forcing her to swallow.
It tasted like a pill when you fail to swallow it whole- no- it tasted exactly like that.
The familiar taste made her start to push and shove at her husband, not wanting it anymore, not wanting whatever was coming from his mouth.
Finally, he pulled away, leaving her breathless and disgusted; squirming away. He looked apologetic.
"I'm sorry, my love." He pecked her forehead, but she pushed him away, his skin no longer feeling warm and real anymore. In fact, she didn't even feel where she had touched him.
"Your just a dream." Her voice cracked as the world once again started to crumble, the realistic feeling of his skin gone after that kiss.
Y/N's eyes opened in the dark of her bedroom, now realizing she had been crying from her wet cheeks, and her arms were outstretched for someone who wasn't there.
With a quivering lip, a sob escaped her, curling into a ball. She couldn't tell when she was living real life anymore and she couldn't decide which reality she wanted to live in.
The next morning, she had awoken groggy from crying herself to sleep; having to scrub her tongue with her toothbrush to get that mysterious pill taste from last night off her tongue.
She changed into grey sweats and a white t-shirt, pulling the grippy socks the ward had given her over her feet.
Her head turned, hearing a knock at the door before it cracked open. "It's Dr. Keshner." The doctor hummed, Y/N giving a little 'come in.' She suspected it was him, the nurses never knock.
He let himself in, and smiled politely. Y/N normally had morning sessions, but today they had scheduled it a bit earlier due to the new medicine.
"How was last night?" He asked calmly, slowly sitting on her bed. Her brow raised slightly, assuming they were having the session in her room. Odd, but she didn't mind having it in the comfort of her own space.
That was one thing that was nice, she was granted her own room because of her waking up all her roommates in the middle of the night due to her dreams and freak outs after having them.
"Okay." She answered vaguely. On one hand, her heart swelled with how she had felt last night, how he had felt. On the other, it hurt to think of how the dream ended, and though she didn't wake up violently, she didn't wake up happy.
"Okay?" He questioned, really wanting to hear more. "You know you should tell me everything that happened, I need to know how the medicine worked."
She sighed and sat down beside him. "But it's..." she blushed slightly, "embarrassing."
He resisted the urge to smile, the feeling pulling at his lips. He knew exactly what had happened last night, exactly how it had felt... and god had it felt good. Who knew she'd be such a good kisser?
Keshner gently rested his hand on her shoulder, making her look back, his eyes having to resist everything to not look at her lips. "It's okay, Y/N, I'm here to help and listen, not judge." He knew that was a canned response, but he really wanted to hear her side.
She frowned slightly and inhaled deeply. "For the first time last night, I got... physical... with him."
Keshner listened intently. Though the 'medicine' he was giving her manipulated her dreams and reality, he couldn't control everything, which is why he craved every detail of their encounter last night.
"We uhm..." She fiddled with her hands. "We kissed and stuff like that..." She said even quieter, her face beet red.
"So your relationship with this dream man is furthering?" He asked in a serious tone, though inside he was entirely giddy. Something about her admitting that she had kissed him last night (albeit she didn't know it was really him) made Keshner want to jump with joy. It was like they were a couple already, everyday she was moving closer to connecting dream and reality.
Y/N nodded almost shamefully, glancing up at him. His eyes were so striking, and his lips were something she had explored thoroughly last night. It was hard to look at him and not believe that he really was her true love- especially since the real Keshner was close to her in reality too, being her therapist and all, she poured her heart out to him everyday.
Maybe she should get a new therapist.
"It's okay, Y/N, the medicine should start almost... watering out your dreams, making them about something else." He lied, knowing full well the medicine was not going to do that. "Once we detach dream and feelings, your road to recovery will become brighter."
This caused a deep frown to bloom on her face, her eyes casting to the floor.
He sighed softly in care. "I know it's hard... but to slowly start disconnecting with what is not real..."
Her eyes started to water, and she looked back at him- before hugging him, pressing her face into his chest. Maybe it was selfish to seek comfort in him, to use her dream husband's twin as support just because he looks like her husband, but she couldn't help it. It was like he was really here, and that was all she wanted, for him to be real.
Keshner wrapped his arms around her slowly, a big smile growing onto his face since she couldn't see. The extra pill he slipped into her mouth last night certainly helped, and hopefully his 'kind words' will continue to secure her belief in her husband being fake. The only thing that isn't fake is her feelings, and that's something he now easily can reel in. He's her dream man, literally.
Her hand ran up his back lightly, not wanting to be weird but... also recognizing the familiarity of his body. It was exactly like last night. She's never even held Keshner before- how did her brain imagine his body shape so perfectly?
Slowly, she pulled away, looking bashful. "I'm sorry." She murmured, wiping her teary eyes.
Keshner gently held her hands in his and looked her sincerely in the eyes. "Don't be. I'm here for you, Y/N. I'm your doctor, but also your friend. I want to be your comfort." He smiled softly, before cupping her cheek gently.
Y/N's face darkened in red, her heart betraying her mind. It was hard, really hard, to remind herself that he was not her lover. Especially when Keshner was being so... lovey- or more- touchy.
"Thank you." She said softly, leaning her head into his hand. Her mind screamed not to, it was unprofessional to feel like this, to let her misguided feelings latch onto reality, especially since it's her doctor.
The touch made her forget all about asking for a different doctor. She didn't want a different doctor. She wanted to see the striking image of her love each day, even if he wasn't the dream. Her heart was selfish, but she was beginning to not care.
Keshner slowly pulled his hand away, knowing there was no way for her to just cut off her feelings. She had fallen in love with him in her dreams, and in no time, she'll be his in reality.