To swim
without knowing the end,
without estimating the depth,
regardless of the cold
or the heat
Swim
by diving into the water, forgetting all of the fear,
when getting used to it,
diving into the real...
But I couldn't swim, I couldn't swim, I was afraid of water.
From the pool, the sea, the lake... Sometimes even a small puddle.
I had hydrophobia.
I had aquaphobia.
Drowning
Swimming
Sea
Pool
Too much water
I was very afraid of them.
And I looked at the elective course in the school system that appears on the computer tab in front of me.
Swimming lesson.
Was it a joke?
This must have been a big joke played on me by the universe, but I wasn't laughing, I was about to cry instead.
I called my best friend Nat on the phone. After a while the call was answered.
"Hello bro?" His cheerful voice came.
"Nat, something terrible has happened!" I cried.
"What happened?!" He asked immediately.
"I was late for the lesson selection, I had to choose the swimming lesson, there was only chance for it."
"Well bro, you have a phobia."
"That's why I called you, we need to find a solution Nat."
"You should ask the advisor tomorrow, maybe she can change the course from the system..."
...
"There is no change now, in any way?" I spoke nervously.
I didn't even know the teacher of the course, our school was very crowded and big, there were many elective courses, but luckily, all the courses were full.
"NuNew, the system was shut down last night, it won't open at my request. I can't assign you to another class, you have to take this class this semester."
My mentor teacher, Ella, couldn't understand why I insisted so much, but I didn't want to tell anyone about my phobia but my close friends, it wasn't even the last thing I wanted to make them know at school.
I left Ella teacher's room disappointed, there was nothing I could do. Ella said that the swimming instructor had just arrived this week and he was a very nice person, but that was not the problem, it was me.
To go to the first lesson, I walked to the building with the swimming pool inside the school campus and went inside.
The other students who chose this course had already arrived, gathered at the side of the pool.
With reluctance pouring from my face, I walked over to them, and seeing a young man at the place where they were gathered, I realized that he was a teacher.
I did not expect the teacher to be this young, he was very fit. He was wearing a sports t-shirt and sweatpants underneath.
I approached the students, the teacher found me as his eyes swept over me all, his gaze gave me a strange feeling and I averted my gaze.
It was illegal for a teacher to be this handsome, I had already noticed the admiring glances of the other students.
Rolled my eyes, I didn't want to be here.
At that time, I heard the teacher's masculine and beautiful voice. "Guys, sit down first, let's meet, talk about our lesson."
We all sat in the audience seats around the pool area, swimming races were sometimes held here, but I usually did not prefer to come.
The teacher came up to us and started talking. "First of all, welcome, I'm sure this term will be great. I'm a sports and swimming teacher Zee Pruk, I'm new to this school, I hope we get along well. Now let's get to know you, we are in a mixed class because it is an elective course, so I would appreciate if you could tell me your age."
Everyone was listening to the teacher with great attention, of course, everyone's attention was attracted to his handsomeness.
The student on the right started to introduce himself but I couldn't focus on what he was saying because the smell of the pool on the field was already starting to fill my lungs, which was not good, my body realized that I was near the water, even if I tried to distance myself from this truth, I couldn't help it and starting to get scared.
Another student started talking, I was feeling very nauseous, I started to tighten my legs, but my breathing seemed to be difficult.
My eyes went to the gently rippling water of the pool. I wasn't fine, I wasn't fine...
Flashback
I was building a sand castle with my mother on the beach, the weather was beautiful, it was a wonderful summer day.
"What a beautiful castle you've built even though you're only 6, NuNew, my little boy." My mother hugged me.
I smiled, I loved the beach and the sea. "But mom, why dad didn't came too, make him play with me..."
"But look how well your father is swimming." I looked where my mother was pointing, my father had swam almost to the middle of the sea, barely visible.
I spoke with my mouth open. "Yeah, how far he's gone mommy!"
At that moment, the whistle of the stuff standing in the observation tower was heard. "Mom what's that sound?"
At the time, I didn't know what that sound meant.
"NuNew, take my hand!" My mother gasped, I heard a few shouts, as I grabbed my mother's hand and ran, I looked back at my father, my father not visible.
Where was my father?
Everyone started running as a big wave was coming towards us, I didn't understand what was happening, I was only 6 years old, how could I understand?
It was a huge wave.
Then the other one, and the other...
Waves that took my father from me...
My mother and I had survived, but my father had drowned.
That's why I didn't like the sea anymore, that's why I hated swimming.
They all reminded me of my father, all of them when the water took him from me.
Back to Day
Now I was attending a class where I had to get in the water and swim.
It was the turn of the other student, but I couldn't follow what was said, my nausea was at the highest level, I raised my other hand while covering my mouth with one hand.
When the teacher noticed me, I asked permission by pointing towards my stomach. I was afraid to even speak, because I didn't want to throw up in public.
As soon as the teacher understood what I meant, he nodded, and while the students were continuing their conversation, I got up from my seat and ran to the bathroom.
I came to myself when I splashed cold water on my face. My nausea seemed to have eased.
I was not afraid to drink water or wash myself with water as the feeling of swimming in water scared me. This was a very strange thing.
While I was trying to calm down by looking at myself in the mirror, one of the students from the class entered. "Hi, are you okay? The teacher sent me to take care of you. Do you want something?"
"Thank you, I seem fine now."
The student handed me one of the dry napkins in the corner, and the bell rang as I dried my face and hands. We came out of the toilet with the boy who came next to me, and as he left the pool area, I approached the audience seats where I was sitting before to get my bag.
There were no students, just me and him.
The teacher was checking the list on the other side, I took my bag and went to him, he looked up at me.
He looked more attractive up close, with rough features and a smooth face, but his expressions softened as he spoke.
"Oh, hello, you were the student going to the toilet, right, how are you, are you better?"
He studied the list in his hand. "Your name, I suppose... NuNew Chawarin. Isn't it?"
"Yes sir, I'm fine now, thanks. I didn't take this course willingly. I don't know how to swim anyway."
It must have taken him by surprise that I got straight to the point, for he looked at my face for a while. "I'm here to teach."
He smiled, but my face was not smiling, my reluctance was reflected in my expressions from the beginning of the lesson. "I don't want to learn, I can't change the lesson from the system, so if you let me, will it be a problem if I sit in the audience seats?"
"I understand, you may not be interested, but if you study for the theoretical exams I will do, maybe you want to swim, so don't think that you will fail the class."
I had no idea why he was so understanding, because I was nervous because he was responding very gently to my direct words, which made me even more nervous.
Fortunately, he respected my opinion, that was enough for me.
I thanked the teacher and walked away, I forgot my jacket in the audience seats, went there again and took my jacket, the door of the field opened, Nat entered.
"Buddy!" As he was about to come near me, teacher Zee called out to him. "Umm, student! Can you take a look?"
As Nat walked towards me, he changed his direction and ran to the teacher.
Zee teacher took out a piece of paper from his file. "Can you forward this list to Max teacher, he should sign it. By the way, what was your name?"
This was exactly what Nat wanted, Max liked the teacher very much, he found a good excuse to go to him.
"My name is Nat teacher. Of course I will."
Nat took the list and happily ran towards me. "Let's go mate!"