"Will you stop with the sugar?" I heard my father speak up from behind me and I finally let go of the spoon that had previously been stirring spoonfuls of sugar at a time in the cup of tea in front of me.
I took a seat in front of him as the rest of my family surrounded me, everyone sat at the kitchen counter. I didn't take a sip of the tea, after six spoons of sugar it had become more of just a cup of sugar with some tea in it.
"Can you start talking please." Emilio spoke. I shuddered and turned towards Kai who was sitting right beside me. "You don't have to do anything. У нас есть планы побега, скажи только слово." (We have escape plans, just say the word.)
As much as I wanted to accept his offer, I knew it was time to face the circus, so I held his hand under the table and gave it a squeeze, "There's a lot to cover actually." I said as I looked at my family. "We're ready to listen."
I look at my father, his eyes big and curious, "I don't think you are." he furrowed his brows. "Why?" I let out a humorless laugh, "Cause it has a lot to do with her." I say as I look towards his wedding ring that he still wore.
"No matter what, I need to know everything." he said. Well, I tried to warn him. "The earliest I can remember is when I was six. I can't really remember the first time it happened really, just that it had always happened." "What had always happened?" he asked, urging me to continue.
"The hitting, the cursing, the....the torture." I finally said, I kept my gaze strictly on the cup in my hands. "Maria was an abusive woman, physically, emotionally, se-... you know." I couldn't bring myself to say the last part in front of them. "Although the last part wasn't her, she was just the one who would tie me up to the bed and gag me, it was her boyfriends or whatever client they had for the night."
"Client?" Emilio's voice, I look up towards my eldest brother his pale face looking back at me, like he knew the answer but wanted to stay in denial. I let a small sorrowful smile fall on my lips, "When I was thirteen I cost one thousand us dollars for one night, the price went lower as I grew up. Rich men are sick bastards big surprise." I heard gagging noises from the other end of the table to see that ermes had a hand in front of his mouth trying to stop himself from throwing up.
"Other than that, it was the regular punches, kicks, throwing me down the stairs, using their beer bottles, god, those hurt, those ones hurt the most. Starving was the most common, but as it turns out if you are a little girl begging for any scrap of food, at least someone would take pity on you."
"No." a voice came and I turned to see Alvise standing near the door, his hands on his hip as he shook his head, trying to convince himself that what he heard wasn't true. He was still in denial? How the fuck can someone have so much trust in another person. "What?"
"No...no this can't be hap..." he trailed of as his eyes glazed, almost as if he was lost in memory. "Al-." Emilio began but I cut him off standing up from my seat. "You think I'm lying. You think I like doing this? You think this is fun for me?" my voice increasing in volume as I spoke.
"Well guess what? You want proof? You want to fucking prove to you that I'm not lying?" I say as I get closer and closer to his face. "Fine" I pull my shirt over my head, and watch as his face morphs from one of disbelief to pure and utter shock. I can hear gasps from behind me as well. My back was a masterpiece in itself.
I turn back to show Alvise my back while me family got to see my stomach. I wanted to look at their faces but I was busy trying to keep the building tears at bay. "That enough proof for you?" I ask Alvise as I turn back to him. "Then why hide it all?" Ermes spoke up from behind me.
I turn to see him standing up with hands shaking as he had a deathly grip on the table top. Before I could answer him though Kai came up to me, having taken off his zip up hoodie putting it on me and helping me into it.
"What?" I ask my brother as I zip up the hoodie. "We have always talked about our mother in front of you like she's a saint. All of us literally been going on and on about how great she was and you never said anything. Why?"
I let out a humourless laugh, looking up at the sky, trying to shake all the images in my head of my mother and all she did to me. "Because I care about your stupid fucking feelings for some reason."
"You had a good mother, a mother that loved you. I didn't have that, and I...I couldn't take that away from you. Not when all my life I wished to have that, I couldn't be that cruel." I say. Sniffling I aggressively rub my eyes trying to get rid of the tears that were right on the edge. "This is exactly why I didn't want to do this. I knew this was going to happen. Why couldn't you all just let me be huh? Why did you have to come after me? You abandoned me sixteen years ago why fucking come back now!"
I yelled at my father who was still staring my his hands, not daring to look up. Agitated I go up to him. "I'm talking to you. Why the hell did you suddenly feel all sad huh? I was fucking happy with the arrangement I had okay. Those fucking foster families didn't give a shit about what I did, and I fucking lived my life the way I wanted and then you came around and fucked everything up."
"I didn't abandon you." He whispered. "What?" I ask.
The man finally looked up and I almost stepped back when I saw the tears rolling down his cheeks. "I didn't abandon you. He kidnapped you, he took you both away?" "Who the fuck is he?"
"Alphonso Michio. He left us a message once you and mom were gone. Claiming that he had taken you both and there was nothing we could do to get you back. But we searched for you. All those years we searched and searched but we could never find you. You have to believe us okay, we tried desperately to find you." my father said, I nodded.
"I believe. I do. Doesn't change what happened though. Everything she did, it all still happened. And there's not a damn thing you can do about it now. No matter how much I pray and hope for, those scars aren't going anywhere."
my father lowered his head. "I know." "And..." It was Ermes who had spoken up, who up until now had been completely silent. "What about what just happened?" I furrow my brows. "This is the start to your story right, what about the part where you know how to kill people?"
I look towards Kai, who shrugged it was up to me now. I sigh and take a seat back on the chair. "That depends on whether you people tell me the truth." "About what?" I look my father in the eye.
"Will you tell me the truth?" He nods frantically, "Anything." I suppress a smile. "What do you do for work?" a silence fell over the room, no one daring to move an inch as my father and I looked at each without breaking eye contact.
Emilio opened his mouth to speak but my father held up his hand. "We're the italian mafia." My brothers took a small simultaneous gasp. "Now, you?" he asked.
"вы уверены?" Kai spoke beside me. I nodded, "Are you familiar with the name Natalia Romanova?" His widened as he opened and closed his mouth, searching for what to say. "Let me save you the trouble, yes, you know her. You talked with her a couple of weeks ago."
My face told him exactly what he feared, "No, no please don't tell me...." "Fifteen million wasn't it. What you offered me?" I asked. "Oh god." he exclaimed as he got up from his chair. "You're Natalia, the leader of the Jaded lions?" Emilio spoke up.
I nodded as I looked towards him. I wish I could enjoy their reactions right now, but I knew what question was coming next and that was one question that I seriously did not want to answer.
"How did any of this even start?" and there it was. "Well. That... uh that's-." I was stammering at this point, not having the heart to tell them the truth. "Maybe that's enough for tonight. Don't you all think?" But I grabbed Kai's hand letting him know that this needs to be done, no going back.
"What you know about Maria's death is not completely true." I said and my father who had been pacing up until this point came to a halt and turned sharply towards me. "What? what do you mean?"
"She was murdered but not by the person you think?"
The blanket of silence covering the room was suffocating. And I waited, hoping one of them would actually say what they were thinking out loud but no one did, so sucking in a big breath I finally said out loud my deepest secret.
"It was me, I killed my mother."
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I'm back!!
After such a long unplanned hiatus I am back and hopefully for good but who can tell anymore.
Anyway, I know i'm leaving this one on a cliffhanger as well but surprise surprise the next chapter is coming tomorrow. I've tortured you all enough.
Please tell me what you guys thought of this chapter. Was the confrontation good, bad? Worth it????
I love each and every one of you. I received so many comments and messages during this time, and I thankful to all of you who had patience with me and my crazy schedule, you are the best!!
Love you all!!
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