Bloody shite, she had bound the cloth around her breasts too tightly.
Zoë flexed her muscles, drew in a half-assed breath, gingerly testing the restriction. It felt like an iron band around her chest. Great, just great. Hopefully it would loosen up during the day, she had no time to redo it right now. Slipping into her jacket and righting her tie, she turned to the left and the right to check her reflection in the spotless, high mirror.
"Ready to go?" Ernst von Bergmann, his apron dusted with flour from the bread dough he was making, handed her the black hat from the rack.
"How do I look?" Zoë asked with a grimace.
"You look very good," von Bergmann blinked, as if surprised by the question, and colored.
Hell, no, I have no time for shit like this.
"No, I meant: I look like a man, don't I?"
Objectively, nothing had changed, her disguise was what it had been two days ago. Subjectively, everything was different. All her confidence was gone. She had barely slept. Somehow, her brain had convinced itself that she would be arrested at the entrance to the Titan Research Facility because Willy Tybur had recognized her as the Eldian woman who worked there in a ridiculous disguise.
She ripped her expensive glasses off and began polishing them obsessively for the hundredth time this morning. It was going to be very hard to operate the microscopes due to her damaged eye. Tom Calvi had given her an introduction to the equipment on her first day, and today, she was meant to look at tissue samples and then harvest some cells. It was a standard, basic procedure to get her used to the lab, nothing more.
Nothing more and it should be easy for someone as skilled as she was on paper, but she knew she would struggle because the eye gave her a lot of pain today and she did not see well despite the special glasses. Earlier, she'd taken one of the painkillers Ernst had prescribed but it wasn't helping much so far. Should she have taken two? She feared the pills would mess with her head and her stomach, which already felt queasy enough.
"Yes," Ernst nodded, "for everyone who doesn't know you, for sure."
Not helping! Zoë groaned inwardly.
"Don't worry so much," he was obviously trying to sound cheerful for her sake, which made her anxiety spike even more, "you're just rattled, that's all."
Get your act together, shitty glasses, Levi would say with no sympathy at all. Because if you don't, you die. His snarling voice was the comfort she craved. The worry she felt for him and the others had settled like a stone in her stomach ever since their farewell. After the riots in lowtown, now halfway under control, the police were on extra alert everywhere. A description and hand-drawn picture of Levi had been posted on every wall and every lamp post: Wanted. For inciting a riot.
That was likely Bindella taking revenge for the death of his brother, Ernst had suspected. As a result, the kids had to enter the internment zone through the gates without Levi - who was completely unfazed by the complication. Someone who grew up in the Underground knew how to gain access to anything, he had told her, and surely had no problem entering an area no normal person went to voluntarily anyway.
"Take the ODM gear with you," she had suggested, expecting resistance - but there was none. Clearly, Levi loved his ODM gear, it was a reunion between old friends she watched once they had gotten it out of its hiding place. To be touched by him like this...
"Right," Zoë smiled at von Bergmann, "I'm just rattled."
Mikasa and Armin came out of the kitchen to see her off. They were worried too, it was written all over their faces.
"I'll be back in the evening," Zoë promised, even if the kids would be okay without her. In fact, Armin was ready to take over from her. He'd been for a while.
"Stay safe," Armin's face was grim.
The way from the Doctor's house to the Titan Research Facility was considerably shorter than the one she had taken on her first day from their now temporarily abandoned little house further down the hill. Secretly scanning her surroundings for unwanted followers, Zoë walked down the street as briskly as possible. There were far fewer folks around than usual, even up here, because the presence of Public Security had been doubled. Three idle officers stood leaning against the wall at the corner with their rifles next to them, their eyes following her as she strode across the square.
Don't let them see how nervous you are.
The slight dizziness that felt like a coming storm in her head threatened to make her stagger. Calm. This is no different than Trost. Ignoring the military police wasn't her natural impulse, she preferred to tease them until they went into raging bull mode, but she was a pro at handling the likes of them. Snickering, she remembered what walking around with Levi by your side was like. He was so notoriously violent, military police had orders to ignore him and whoever he was with.
The one time a very inexperienced military officer had stared, Levi had stopped abruptly in front of him. His "Are you looking at me?" had sounded so menacing, the young officer had turned as white as a sheet, stammering something about admiring the perfect cut of Levi's uniform while clearly hefting his eyes on Levi's ass. Mike had teased Levi about being a young officers' fantasy for weeks afterwards.
Nostalgia. The sign of growing older. I miss you, little thug.
The walls of the internment zone came into view to her left. Don't look. It wasn't like she was going to see Levi zoom around across the rooftops anyway. Unless... she turned her head with a twinge of apprehension, it wasn't entirely impossible... But no, of course he wasn't zooming around! He was likely hiding somewhere, ready to scout out the places where the warriors and warrior candidates would train later, or he might be trying to locate Eren.
The wind moved a cloud across the sun, painting a dark, ominous shadow across the rooftops behind the wall. Suppressing a shudder and the impulse to see it as a bad omen, Zoë walked on, threw a disgusted look at the golden Helos statue, noticed with immediate glee that a bird had shat on his shoulder, and then turned to the left, towards the Titan Research Facility.
If they arrest me, it's going to happen here. Brace yourself.
"Alexander Smith", she said at the gate, flashing her new employer card with the photo they had made of her. Damn, her heart was beating way too fast. But nobody came rushing out to arrest her. One of the two guards threw her card a cursory look, then stood aside. There were dark circles underneath his eyes. Either he had partied hard or his duties were this exhausting.
Well. Maybe I was worried about nothing.
Zoë dared a little whistle as she crossed the courtyard, her fingers on the ampulla in her pocket. They had said every employee needed to take regular blood tests but they had not said how regular. Daily? But the room they had taken her last time was dark and empty and nobody intercepted her, so she walked up the stairs. She was still on high alert because it was likely that Willy Tybur was here again. She had imagined meeting Tybur in a thousand different variations, settling on lying her ass off if he should confront her. Alexander Smith did have a twin sister after all and he surely wouldn't insist on checking her sex, would he?
It was Tom Calvi who welcomed her at the door of the lab though, as friendly and easy-going as on the first day. From a few of his remarks about the riot and police brutality, she came to suspect that he had a very strained relationship with Marley's martial society and urgently needed to assure everyone he did not agree with it. He seemed to be a genuinely nice person. So they did exist here, even in a General's family?
"Let me know if you need any help!" He beamed at her after explaining the task she was to do. "But with your track record, this should be a piece of cake!"
Haha, her track record... she grimaced at his retreating back. Calvi would have an apoplexy if he knew that it was entirely made up. Well, she had studied an awful lot before she had finally felt confident enough to send in her application, and Ernst had let her use his own equipment for practice. But that was like learning to shoot with the wooden replica of a gun and then going to a sharp-shooter competition. The Titan Research Facility had the best lab equipment in the world, thanks to Marley's great benefactor, Willy the fucking traitor Tybur, who spent money by the shiploads for all his little pet projects. Was it okay to feel thankful he spent it on science even though her hatred for him burnt as hot as a thousand suns?
There was no helping it, her hands shook reverently when she touched the microscope assigned to her. It was beautiful. It shimmered golden in the light of the incandescent bulb that was located under the metal stage, had three lenses in the eyepiece, and multiple objective lenses that could be switched out to vary the magnification. She slid the Petri dish with the cell sample into the clips to hold the specimen in place.
"We will work well together, beauty, won't we," she whispered to the metal contraption, adjusting it by using the coarse and the fine focus knob until the specimen came into focus. Things were looking up. Her bad eye wasn't as restricting as she had feared though she had to close it for a clear picture, which meant she lacked stereoscopic depth perception.
They fed the cell samples amino acids, vitamins, salts, and glucose, and then put them into an "incubator". It had several dials on the outside where the temperature and humidity could be read and, if necessary, adjusted. It took all her willpower not to coo to it and cheer it on. The hard work that it did was phenomenal! While in its belly, her cell sample had eaten well, they had used up all the available space in the culture dish already. What she was assigned to do was to "subculture" them.
"Come, you beautiful cells," she encouraged them. "Into a new dish with fresh food you go!"
"Do you like what you see?" Somebody asked.
"They're magnificent," she sighed adoringly.
"Thank you, I'm flattered. They're a part of me after all."
What the... she looked up and froze, her brain short-circuiting for a split-second. Him. The Monkey. ENEMY. You let him sneak up on you. You could be dead. IDIOT.
He was standing right behind her, bending over her shoulder to look at what she was doing. At her shocked, open-mouthed stare, he straightened slowly, a rakish smile on his lips, clearly enjoying her reaction.
"And you are?"
He looked at her with his geometrically framed glasses that hid his eyes behind their reflecting surface when he turned his head a little, a muscular, tall man, beard and hair freshly groomed, the most intelligent, most dangerous of all the Titans and the one she most desperately wanted to see dead. Funny how calm she felt though: Her hatred was quiet and deep and sharp as a newly minted blade.
"I'm a new employee, Sir. My name is Smith, Alexander Smith. I started this week."
Zeke Yeager tilted his head slightly to the side. "Why do you look so familiar, Mr. Smith? Have we met before?"
"Not really," Zoë replied quietly, not turning her eyes away from his face. When he turned his head once more, his cunning eyes reappeared. They hadn't met, unless you wanted to count a glimpse of a smoking human torso on a quadruped Titan as a meeting. But, oh, how much she had wanted to meet him!
"That's funny, it feels like I've known you for years," Zeke Yeager smirked.
"Ah! Yeager, you're back!" Calvi was bustling towards them, "I see you've met our newest employee, Alex Smith! He came with incredible references, I'm sure he'll be a tremendous help for your research!"
"Oh, I'm sure too," Yeager's smile never faltered. It was a predator's smile that held the promise of violence and suffering, she wasn't once fooled by it.
"This is Zeke Yeager, our Head of Research," Calvi told Zoë, his face flushing slightly. "He has a brilliant mind, even though he is Eldian."
Zoë's eyes fell on the red armband the Monkey jiggled at Calvi's words. A red armband with a white star.
"An Honorary Marleyan, actually," Zeke's voice was as smooth as silk, with not a hint of displeasure.
"Yes, that," Calvi's laugh sounded a little forced. "Zeke, I cannot wait for you to tell Mr. Smith about your little theory."
"Which 'little' theory?" Now she heard it, ever so briefly. The edge of the blade of hatred that was hidden away with expert skill. Clearly, Zeke Yeager despised being ordered around by the intellectually inferior Calvi and still, his friendly mask did not slip.
"The one about proteins...? Mr. Yeager is developing a method on how to separate and purify proteins in order to see what they are made of?" Calvi turned to her to explain something he clearly didn't understand. "He believes that they contain information that explains the similarities between family members. Plants and animals. And us."
Oh! She had read about that theory in one of Ernst's medical journals! She had thought about it a lot!
"Genes," Zoë failed to hide her surging excitement. "You want to isolate genes. You think they're composed of proteins?"
"Could be," Zeke Yeager suddenly seemed a little wary.
"Why not directly focus on amino acids," she asked eagerly, "you have the equipment to do it here! Proteins are too big, it is quite clear that something smaller is what you are looking for!"
She barely noticed that Zeke Yeager had stopped smiling while in contrast, Tom Calvi's face was now transformed into a boyish epitome of joy.
"I told you so!" Calvi exclaimed, clapping his hands like an excited child. "He's as brilliant as you are - or perhaps even more so!"
"Yeah, seeing he is non-Eldian," Zeke murmured so quietly it was barely audible. "Right, Mr. Smith, do you want to have some coffee? I'd be eager to hear more of your brilliant thoughts."
He grabbed her arm before she could utter a reply and dragged her out of the lab, down the corridor, and into a small kitchenette, slamming the door behind them.
"Bloody idiot," Zeke muttered darkly as he opened a cupboard to take out coffee beans, a grinder, a glass carafe, a porcelain dripper, and a filter, "doesn't know his ass from his elbow but feels threatened by other people's intellect!"
"I heard that," Zoë frowned. That was daring, cursing a superior in front of a new employee. Unless... he knows who I am. How does he know who I am? Fuck! Eren! You little fuckwit!
"And?" Zeke Yeager turned his head to fixate on her once more as he filled a kettle with water. "You won't tell on me because you are smart."
"Then why is he not threatened by me?"
"Ha!" His chuckle sounded extra mean. "Because he wants to fuck you up the ass. He's wanted to fuck me for years but I'm not giving it to him and now he thinks he can make me jealous by going for someone who looks the opposite. Slender, not too tall, and such a feminine look."
Oh. If Tom Calvi liked men and the authorities found out... it won't help him that he's a General's son. He'll be executed. Or volunteered for active duty.
"So, Mr. Smith," the Monkey began boiling water in a pot and ground the coffee beans, not in the least disturbed about spilling a man's potentially deadly secret. "Do you know what exactly we do here apart from cultivating cells and occasionally practicing sodomy?"
"Titan experiments. Mr. Yeager," she replied. "You are researching Titan secrets."
"Yes," he nodded. "That's correct. We do Titan experiments. On so-called 'volunteers'. How do you feel about Eldians, Mr. Smith? Do you think it's only just that they should suffer?"
"Of course not," she said quietly. "Nobody should suffer."
Zeke laughed, putting the ground coffee into the filter and pouring the boiling water over it. "You're a diplomat! Well, for those unfortunate to be picked up by the police for deeds done or not done, the options are limited. Die as a soldier in pointless wars or be useful as a subject to study and die. What would you choose?"
"I hear you are doing Titan experiments on non-Eldians too," she challenged him, the image of the dead Bindella giant on that stage flashing through her mind.
"Huh. Where did you hear that?" His voice sounded very cold all of a sudden.
Careful now... "People talk," she shrugged.
"They shouldn't, it gets them killed," he watched the coffee drip into the pot. "Did you know people are afraid of me?" He pointed at the red armband again. "They are afraid of the power I hold as a Titan shifter, but they do not respect me at all. I know they are just waiting for me to die. Are you you afraid of death, Mr. Smith?"
"No."
Zeke laughed, this time it sounded genuine. "That is unwise, you should be."
She got why he was so bitter, so cruel, and so matter of fact about using his own people for experiments. The Eldians in Marley had suffered far more than the Eldians on Paradis ever had before Marley had sent their Titans to retrieve the Founder. What she did not get was why he would so willingly help his tormentors advance, why he would give them hard earned knowledge about Titans that would only make them more powerful. It seemed utterly perverted to her that he and the other Titan shifters here in Marley would hate their island brethren more than the people who forced them behind walls and barbed wire and marked them with armbands that denoted them as inferior beings whose life had no worth.
"Coffee?" He offered her a cup.
"Cut the bullshit," she pushed the cup away. "And stop pretending you do not know exactly who I am."
"Ah...," he slowly poured the cup down the kitchen sink, watching her closely. "You saw that. And here I thought you're blind in one eye."
"What is it you put in?" She asked, pointing to the small paper bag he had emptied into the cup and was now hiding in his hand.
"A powder," he smirked. "Made from my bones. It hasn't been tested yet, so I thought I'd start on you. It's supposed to work like my spinal fluid, a trigger for Eldians. All I need to do is scream a little into your ear and ta-da! Your hideous nature comes forth."
"Huh," Zoë said, "don't tell me Titan serum is made from your spinal fluid too?"
"Perceptive," he grinned. "Yes, it is. I am honored to meet you, Commander Hange! You are even smarter than people say you are. Of course I know that DNA is not found in proteins but in amino acids. In fact, I have already managed to isolate the compound a scientist on the Western continent has named a "nucleotide" and I am now studying its chemical structure and properties. But I don't want them to know all this. Everything that matters I keep for myself."
"You're not what I expected," Zoë narrowed her eyes at Zeke Yeager. "What do we do with each other now?"
This was not how they had planned this. She had no weapon with which to kill him. Cutting off his head in one swoop was probably the only thing that would stop him from transforming or from healing. Eating him would be even better but she had no Titan serum.
"What about a truce," he suggested, helping himself to some coffee. "Right after I take something against the pain. You know how much your body hurts once you get to the end of your thirteen years?"
He fished a little brown bottle from the pocket of his trousers.
"What's that?" Zoë asked warily.
"Laudanum," he said. "Against the pain. Want some?"
Ernst gave it to his patients too. It was, as he had told her, as addictive as it was useful.
"As if I'd take anything offered by you," she scoffed.
"I see why you're still alive, while the rest of your lousy soldiers are shredded to bits," he smirked.
"That truce you are suggesting," she snapped. "What are the terms?"
"Ah, the terms," he put his head back and let ten drops of Laudanum drip into his mouth. "You don't kill me. I don't kill you. And you tell that Rage Imp of yours to stand down, he's a fucking nuisance."
"And there's a good reason why we should do that?"
"Mhhhm, I think so," he took a zip from his coffee and pulled a face. "There are things I know that only I know. They're all in my head, I never wrote them down. And I happen to know that you are very interested in those things."
The Ackermans.
"I bet you guessed correctly," Zeke Yeager pushed himself away from the counter he was leaning on. "You will not kill me because of the things I know and the things I can show you. I offer you knowledge, Commander Hange. The type of knowledge that will decide the fate of our race."