The floor was hard underneath Deku's back. Katsuki was asleep on top of him, shortly falling asleep after their chat in the middle of the night. It was slowly getting lighter outside, so it must've been around five or six in the morning. Deku chewed his lip, racking his brain and trying to come up with a solution.
Would prison really be that bad? Is it prison that he's scared of? Is it the other villains? Or being truly labelled a villain?
Or is it because it goes against everything he ever wanted?
Because he wanted to be a hero. He wanted to be by Katsuki's side. He wanted to grow with Katsuki and live their life together.
If Deku went to prison he could be in there for years! And then by the time he gets out Katsuki would be a pro hero, and he wouldn't missed it all. Maybe Katsuki would change his mind and find someone else. Then Deku would be released from prison and find the love of his life saving lives with somebody else.
It was inevitable right? Katsuki wouldn't want to be a pro hero dating a villain, who would?
"Oi nerd, stop mumbling. It gives me the creeps," Katsuki said from on top of Deku.
"Shut up," Deku mumbled.
"Who the fuck are you telling to shut up?" Katsuki asked, moving his head so he could look at Deku. The green-haired boy was looking up at the ceiling.
"You. Let me think," Deku said, and Katsuki rolled his eyes.
"You're overthinking," Katsuki said and pushed up with his arms, holding himself above Deku.
"What do you want?" Deku snapped.
"How much sleep did you get?" Katsuki asked, his eyes narrowing at Deku.
"Like two hours, if that," Deku said, and Katsuki sighed.
"That's why you're so grumpy and panicky," Katsuki said, moving himself and sitting next to Deku.
"I'm not grumpy and panicky," Deku countered.
"Yes, you are. Probably hungry too, you haven't eaten since yesterday morning," Katsuki pointed out.
"Kacchan I used to live like this, I know," Deku said, throwing his arm over his eyes.
"And the Kacchan is back," Katsuki groaned.
"At least Kacchan is a nice nickname," Deku mumbled.
"You won't let me call you anything else," Katsuki protested.
"That's because Deku is all I really had left of you. Izuku was just some quirkless kid with dreams too big for his little body," Deku explained, and Katsuki frowned.
"Why don't you reclaim it?" Katsuki asked.
"It's not easy. I can't even go and see my mother because every time I step foot in that house it feels like I just got home from school and I'm about to go upstairs and cut myself. Every time I step into that bedroom and see All Might all over the walls I'm just reminded of how fucking useless I am compared to everyone else," Deku said.
"Is that why you stay with me at the dorms?" Katsuki asked, and Deku nods.
"Don't get me wrong, you've got as much All Might stuff as I do. It doesn't effect me the same way though," Deku said.
"I see," Katsuki responds.
"I'm going up to the roof, I wanna watch the sky," Deku says, and Katsuki nods in response. Katsuki watches Deku get up and walk up the nearby stairs, making his way to the roof.
Sure, Deku was a lot to handle, but it didn't bother Katsuki. Deku's the only person that can see clearly through his explosive personality and insulting way of showing affection. Deku knows him better than anyone.
Deku never left Katsuki. Even when he went missing, he was still keeping an eye on Katsuki, watching over him. Meanwhile Katsuki had no idea where he was. Whilst Deku talked with the Katsuki he'd always known, Katsuki was talking to a Deku he barely knew.
"Wait up!" Katsuki said, stumbling to get up and join Deku on the rooftop.
When he got to the top Deku was standing on the rooftop, watching the sky morph into different colours.
"Last time we did this I was days away from death," Deku said, and Katsuki walked over to him.
"Not this time though," Katsuki said, and Deku looked at Katsuki.
"Say I do get arrested-" Deku starts.
"Not gonna happen," Katsuki interrupts.
"Shut up a second. Say I'm in prison for years, what's gonna happen to you?" Deku asked.
"Well apart from trying to bust your ass out, probably finish at UA and become a pro hero," Katsuki shrugged.
"As long as you become the number one I'll be okay," Deku said quietly.
"Of course I'll be number one, but I wanna do it with you," Katsuki said, picking up Deku's hands.
"Katsuki I don't have a quirk," Deku pointed out.
"I don't care. I don't wanna be the number one without you. You may have given up on being a hero, but I still believe he's in there. I still believe little Izuku is in there somewhere, probably in an All Might Costume and wanting to save people," Katsuki said, and Deku blinked in shock.
"Are you forgetting the reason we're here? It's because I hurt people, I didn't save them," Deku said, and Katsuki nodded.
"Yeah, you're right. But you feel bad, don't you?" Katsuki asked.
"And what if I don't?" Deku asked, pulling his hands out of Katsuki's. "What if I don't feel bad? What if I enjoyed hurting those people? What if I did it for fun?"
"You were hurting Deku. Although it's not an excuse, it's valid reasoning," Katsuki said, and Deku shook his head.
"It wasn't in self defence!" Deku shouted, and Katsuki froze.
"What?" Katsuki asked.
"You said if it wasn't in self defence you'd report me to the police," Deku said.
"I know what I said, but what's your point?" Katsuki responded.
"It was after I saw you again for the first time. I got so mad that you got into UA after beating me down. I go so mad that you were living your dream after crushing mine. So I took it out on the first person I saw. It wasn't fucking pretty, not at all, but all I could see was red. All I could feel was anger. Even now I'm not consumed with guilt. I was sick of hurting myself so I took it out on other people!" Deku shouted, and Katsuki was taken aback.
"Deku-" Katsuki started.
"You're so intent on protecting me and covering for me- but you don't know everything. Fucks sake I got so mad at you I cut myself up and went on a spree, I almost killed an extra three people. I'm not some hero Katsuki, I can't be saved with a click of your fingers," Deku said, tears slowly welling up in his eyes.
Katsuki took a step towards Deku, but the green-haired boy took a step away.
"Stop trying to sympathise with me! I'm not good for you Katsuki, and soon enough you're gonna realise that and find somebody else," Deku said as the tears started falling.
Finally it clicked in Katsuki's mind. All of the hate that Katsuki projected onto Deku as kids just warped Deku into somebody even himself couldn't recognise.
"Deku, I don't care what you've done," Katsuki said, taking another step forward. "I'm a hero, and a hero's job is to save people! And I can tell you wanna be saved!"
"Stop it, please," Deku said, taking steps back every time Katsuki took one forward.
"Izuku- please," Katsuki pleaded.
The two boys were two feet apart. The sky was turning blue instead of the many colours of a sunset. It wasn't a very windy day, just a light wind enough to ruffle the hair of the two boys on the rooftop.
"There's no point, I'm too far gone," Deku said.
"I don't care, I wanna try. I need to try," Katsuki said, taking another step towards Deku.
The green-haired boy went to take a step back, only to find he was already at the roofs edge. His foot slipped and the next thing he knew he falling.
"Kacchan!" He screamed in panic.
"Deku!" Katsuki screamed, jumping off the building after Deku.
The held their hands out, trying to reach one another. Katsuki's hand was sweaty with fear, but he managed to get a solid grip on Deku. They hugged one another, tears streaming down their faces.
"Katsuki, why?!" Deku sobbed.
"Because I told you I'm not letting you go," Katsuki responded.
Until death do us part right? Like hell I'm gonna let something as stupid as death keep me from being with you.
That's the thing about falling, once you start you just can't stop. So I fell off that roof the same way I fell in love- with Kacchan.