"What?" I whispered looking at Xander. My heart was beating a thousand miles a minute. I had heard that right, right?
"Shit. Stupid wolf." He mumbled before sighing. "I was going to tell you."
"I'm your mate?" I asked wanting him to look at me. To look me in the eye. When he did I held in my gasp at the many emotions swirling in those blue eyes. This time I could see only flakes of gold. Like they were both there. Both present.
"Yes you are." He whispered.
I got off him and moved away. My mind decided to kick in then. I hated over thinking but I always found myself sinking into it. Why hadn't he told me all this time if he knew? Why had he made me think he was mated to someone else?
"Is this some game to you?" I asked looking at him.
"What are you talking about?"
"First it was the whole wolf thing, then you keeping the fact that we have a way to save Marina and now this. These are things I needed to know and you kept them from me. I had to find out the first one on my own and something tells me if it wasn't for Xerxes you wouldn't have told me the other two."
"I was going to eventually."
"When?!"
"When all this was over. When I was completely sure you were safe." He yelled making my anger rise.
"You sound just like him." I scoffed. "This is something both of you need to realize. Secrets don't help achieve anything."
"Don't compare me to your dad Melaine." He growled.
"No? Then stop acting like him. Keeping me in the dark just leaves me unprepared for whatever you're trying to keep me safe from. I'm not a child that you can hide things from. I can take care of myself." I yelled.
"I never said you couldn't."
"Well you're treating me like I can't. Give me one good reason why you didn't tell me we were mates and don't you dare say it was for my safety. Because I can't think of how knowing who my soul mate is could possibly make me unsafe."
He looked down and didn't answer. He didn't have one. Of course he didn't.
"I have been going out of my mind with guilt for weeks. Because I thought I was falling for someone else's soul mate. All the glances and the touches and the tension. All the longing has been driving me insane because I was so convinced that I was the other woman. I was starting to consider and accept being the other woman of a relationship written in the stars, and I HATED MYSELF FOR IT."
"Mel..."
"I can't do this right now."
"Please just..."
"Goodnight Alexander." I said turning and heading up stairs. I walk as fast as I can to my room, locking the door and falling face first onto my bed.
Did they seriously see me as some fragile little damsel that couldn't handle the truth? What did he think that if he told me I'd be so lovesick I wouldn't concentrate? That I couldn't protect myself? If my dad had told me what I was I would have known how to control my powers and protect myself by now. If Xander had told me he was the stupid white wolf I wouldn't have been going crazy thinking of who it was I needed to trust the first days.
If he had told me we were mates I wouldn't have been put through all that emotional turmoil of holding myself back and reprimanding myself for wanting what was already mine. He's supposed to be my other half and was okay with me thinking he belonged to someone else. Was okay with being away from me for so long. He's a freaking alpha and kept his distance. Maybe the mate bond wasn't as strong as the books said.
Fine then. I'd show them I wasn't helpless. I wasn't fragile. I'd show them I didn't need them. I'd dwell in the anger of it all because if I wasn't angry, I was going to break under all the hurt.
.................
When I woke up the next day I decided it would be my day off. I needed a breather. We had more important things to do and I needed to be at a hundred percent for it. So I was taking this day off. Kenji had already checked in on me before he left to meet Zale.
"Knock knock." Carlton said pocking his head into my room that afternoon.
"Come in." I said closing dad's journal and sitting up on my bed.
"I brought burgers. Xander told me what happened." He said holding up two plates in his hand.
"You here to bribe me to forgive him?"
"Of course not. I actually like you being mad at him. I'm here to start on that Teen Wolf marathon."
"Shouldn't you be on your brother's side?" I asked as he sat down and passed me my food.
"Nope." He smiled. "Can't stand the guy."
"Sure you can't." I laughed rolling my eyes. "Are you hiding anything from me to? It seems everyone is."
"Everyone has secrets and reasons for keeping them. I'm not justifying Xander. He should have told you. We told him to. But he was convinced he was doing the right thing." He said.
"I just don't like being lied to." I said softly.
"This burger is amazing and all but I would kill for some of mom's cooking." He growled changing the subject making me smile.
"I miss Preston's rendition of Chicago deep-dish pizza. He was the first Wilson to not do Ivy League."
"Sounds like you miss him."
"I do. I miss all of them. It's still hard to believe they want to kill me."
"Family is a complicated thing." He says it like he understands.
"Yeah it is." I say.
"Have you gotten your very own book of shadows yet?"
"Not yet. I just finished with the basics. I don't even have a familiar yet."
"Mhmm." He said looking down.
"How do you know all this stuff?" I asked.
"You were my friend too once upon a time. And right now you're not only important to my brother but to my father as well. Which makes you important to me too. I'm not all knowing like Kenji or all powerful like Xander but I know enough to sit and talk to you when you need me to."
"Who knew you'd be so sweet?" I say smiling at him.
"Literally everyone. You've just been too blinded by your infatuation for my brother."
He was talking like he didn't like Xander but I knew that was a lie. I'd watched them interact. They weren't as close as Xander and Kenji. But I knew Carlton would never admit out loud to either me or Xander that he cared about his brother.
"I was going to take a day off but I've changed my mind. Do you want to help me practice?"
"Sure. Hopefully your boyfriend doesn't kill me for breathing the same air as you."
"He's not my boyfriend."
"For now. But you and Xander and inevitable. You're gonna happen. It definitely won't be now but the two of you have eternity."
Eternity. I hated how nice that sounded.
..........
Xander
I stood outside Mel's door trying to convince myself that this was not going to go horribly wrong. All I had to do was knock and apologize. She avoided me the whole of today. Okay she wasn't avoiding me she was just cooped up doing research and practicing her magic according to Carlton. I hated that Carlton was the one giving me insider information.
"Are you going to keep standing there or are you going to come in?" Her voice spoke softly in my head making me jump back and stare at the door. What the fuck?
"Mel?"
"Come in Xander." She said again a little more confidently.
"At least she's not calling you Alexander." Xerxes said as I opened the door.
She was in front of her vanity with a comb in hand looking frustrated with her hair already. She looked at me through the mirror as I walked in and turned to face me once the door was closed behind me.
"How'd you do that?" I asked immediately her eyes were on me. "I mean I know how but how?"
"Kenji taught me how. He said something about unblocking the mind link. I wasn't even sure I'd get it on the first try." She chuckled.
"I wanted to apologise for..."
"It's okay Xander. I forgive you."
"You do?"
"Shut up." Xerxes hissed.
"Yes I do. But that doesn't mean I'm going to immediately start dating you or whatever."
"Look what you did idiot."
"Oh." I said.
"Let me finish. I don't like secrets but I get you had your own ridiculous reason for keeping them. Carlton said something that stuck with me. And Kenji explained he threatened you not to tell me. He also told me about the promise you made to my dad. Even if it was stupid. I'm not an idiot. The only way I can get rid of you is to reject you."
It was like I had been stabbed in the chest and the blade was twisted around when she said that. She must have seen my expression because she got up and walked to me holding my face in her hands.
"I'm not going to do that Xander. I would never think of rejecting you. But we need to build trust. So we'll be friends first and try and build our relationship." She whispered.
"I don't think I can be just friends with you." I told her letting out a breath of relief.
"It's what you wanted."
"I don't want that anymore. I just want you."
"You have me for eternity. Friends for now?"
"Friends for now." I whispered. Lucian was right. I am a glutton for punishment.
"Great." She said clearing her throat and stepping away from me. She walked back to her mirror and groaned as she tried to detangle her hair.
"Need help with that crow's nest?" I asked smirking earning a hair brush to the chest.
"I'm good. You can stay and keep me company if you want." She said.
"Okay." I say walking towards her. I sit at the edge of her bed and watch her through the mirror.
"So any ex-girlfriend I should be aware of?"
"No ex-girlfriend." I said.
"None?" She asked. "Not even a fling?"
"No girls." I responded.
"Boys then?" She smirked at me in the mirror making me roll my eyes.
"Shut up."
...........................
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