Warning! Mentions of: suicide, self harm, substance abuse, and domestic violence. If you are triggered by any of these subjects, do not read any further!
You're a senior in highschool, though you expected you'd have to stay behind a year because you're grades were awful. You didn't care though, you just felt numb... all the time. No one understood your anxiety or depression and no one cared. Not even your father. To him it was like you didn't exist. He barely ever talked to you except for when he would criticize your every move, like all you did was annoy him. Whenever you wanted to feel something, you would take a razor to your wrist or you thighs. It never lasted, but the scars did. You just wanted it to end, for all of it to end.
It was right after school and you were sitting in a small clearing in the woods on an old wooden bench. Your dad was supposed to pick you up but he must've forgot because you waited and he never showed. You didn't care much though, in fact, you kind of liked it when he forgot. That way, you wouldn't have to ride the bus with the other kids or ride with your dad who would probably just yell at you.
You heard something rustling in the distance and looked to see a boy headed your way. It was Eddie Munson, the town freak and leader of the Hellfire Club. You never talked to him but you always admired how he stood up for himself and his friends from bullies. Eddie nearly tripped over a twig as he was walking but he managed to catch himself. When he looked up, he finally noticed you and was surprised.
"Oh, sorry. Didn't think anyone else knew about this place.", he chuckled awkwardly. "It's Y/n, right?", he asked, rubbing the back of his head shyly.
"Yeah. Uhm, I'll just, uh, leave.", you stuttered as you packed your things. Eddie stepped closer, "Oh, no, no. You don't have to leave if you don't want to. After all, you were here first." He chuckled. "Uhm, I don't know if you're into this kinda thing, but... i was just gonna smoke a little weed. Do you, uh, wanna smoke with me?", he asked kindly, sounding a little nervous.
You thought about it for a moment. It would be better than going home. Besides, maybe it'll make you feel something. Although, you knew if you didn't get home soon your dad would hit you again, so you decided against it.
"No, I gotta get home soon. Thanks, though.", you gathered you're things, giving him a small but grateful smile, before leaving.
However, it was getting dark when you finally got home and as soon as you walked through that door, you knew you were in for it. There were empty beer bottles laying around the couch and the TV was smashed. It wasn't like that when you left this morning.
"Dad? I'm home.", you announced your arrival timidly, hoping your father had drunk himself to sleep. But your hope was soon crushed when you heard shuffling down the hall and the sound of his footsteps thumping closer.
"Y/N! WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?!", he yelled across the room and stumbled into view. Your entire body flinched and you cowered in the corner as he sped towards you with fury in his eyes.
"I-I'm sorry, dad. I was just walking around for a bit. I'm sorry.", you apologized repeatedly, you're voice shaking. It felt like you're throat was closing in on you.
"EXCUSES! That's all you ever have!", he slapped you hard across the face, leaving a red handprint on your cheek that stung like a bee sting. "That's all you are!! A useless excuse for a daughter!! When will you learn to behave?! HUH?!", he continued shouting insult after insult.
His fist found its way to your jaw and you fell to the ground in the corner. But he didn't stop there. When did he ever? He kicked you in the stomach and twice in your back with his boot before picking you back up by your shirt so he could yell in your face.
"When I tell you to come home right after school, did you think I was joking?", he asked rhetorically. "But-But, you said you would pick me up today.", you tried to reason with him but that only made it worse. "Don't sass me you ungrateful brat!!", he practically screamed as he pulled you by the hair and slammed you against the wall before tossing you to the ground.
You took this chance to run into your bedroom and lock the door. Your father was right behind you and banged on the door furiously, screaming more insults at you and demanding you to come back out, but you didn't listen. You couldn't take anymore. So you opened your bedroom window and jumped out. It hurt like hell when you landed but you couldn't think of the pain, you just had to run. So, you did. You ran and ran and ran for what felt like hours until you finally stopped to catch your breath.
Looking around, you noticed you were back at the old wooden bench in the woods by the school. It seemed like Eddie had left a while ago, which you were thankful for. You didn't want him to see you like this. You didn't want anyone to see you like this. You hobbled over to the bench where you found Eddie's lighter sitting on the table. He must've left it here, you thought. You laid down on the seat, shivering from the cold night air. Everything hurt and you could taste blood on your lips. Every move you made caused you to wince in pain so you tried your best to stay still but the shivers that shook your body wouldn't let you. Tears began to stream down your cheeks and you regretted ever going home.
Maybe you should've stayed with Eddie? Maybe you should've waited until your father was asleep? ...Maybe you should just get it over with and end your life. That way you'll never have to go home again. No one would care, right? It's not like you had any other family or friends. That's right. You should just die. Just end your life. There's so many ways to do it, so just pick one. The world would be better off without you anyway.
These thoughts plagued your mind as you cried yourself to sleep. Your cheeks were stained with salty tears and your eyes became heavy. You couldn't feel anything anymore. The pain was gone and so was the cold. You were numb. Your eyes fluttered closed as you drifted off to what you hoped would be a never ending slumber, but something caught your attention. You heard footsteps racing towards you and for a moment you thought your father had found you, but you didn't care. But then, you heard his voice calling out your name.
"Y/n?! Y/n, what happened?! Are you okay? Y/n? Wake up, y/n!", you opened your eyes to see Eddie looking worried and frantic. Was it a dream? Why was Eddie in your dream?
"Y/n! Can you hear me? Are you okay?", he sounded like he cared. Why?
"Uh, shit. Hold on, I'll take you to the hospital, okay?", he gently picked you up, trying his best not to hurt you, but it didn't matter. You couldn't feel anything. But you didn't like the idea of going to a hospital. If he took you there, they would have to call your father and you didn't want to see him.
"No hospital.", you muttered. "What?", asked Eddie. "No hospital, please.", you spoke a little louder, your voice hoarse and cracked from crying. Eddie was silent for a moment and you could see a look of pain on his face. "Okay, no hospital.", he complied and continued to carry you to his van in the school parking lot.
He gently placed you in the passenger seat and covered you with his jacket in hopes it would keep you warm. Then he drove you to his trailer where he once again gently carried you inside to his bedroom. Thankfully, his uncle was working the late night shift at the plant. He set you down gently on his bed before leaving the room to grab some supplies and a cup of water.
"Y/n? I need you to stay awake, okay?", he brushed your hair out of your face, making sure to steer clear of your cuts and bruises. "Mmhm.", you mumbled, trying your best to do as he said, but you were just so tired and exhausted.
"I need to clean your wounds. May I?", he asked and you nodded your head. "Can you sit up for me?", he asked and you nodded your head again. Eddie helped you to sit up and for once, you felt it. The pain from your ribs. Eddie pulled up a chair and had you place your hands on your shoulders to keep you steady. You watched him as he took a damp rag to the cuts on your face and very gently dabbed the blood. Everytime you winced he whispered soothing words which made you feel at ease. You wondered why he was being so nice to you, but it didn't surprise you all that much. You always thought he was a nice guy despite the rumors. You couldn't help but notice how focused he was treating your wounds.
After he was finished bandaging you up, he rubbed your arms and praised you. "You did great, y/n.", he gave you a kind smile. "Are you hurt anywhere else?", he asked softly. You nodded and he looked concerned. "If you're uncomfortable, you don't have to show me. I just want to help.", he assured, and to be honest, you felt comfortable with him. Something about him just made you feel... safe. You pulled your shirt over your head leaving just your bra to cover yourself and saw his expression worsen. He looked mortified and... angry? You'd never seen Eddie angry, though you hardly see him at all.
"Who did this to you, y/n?", he tried to speak with a calm voice but you could hear the anger behind it.
For the first time, you looked away from him. Too ashamed to say it. Eddie took the hint and moved on. "I'm gonna put some medicine on these wounds and bandage you up. Do I have permission to touch you?", he asked kindly, and you nodded. While he prepped the bandages you finally looked at yourself to see just how bad your wounds were. You had one big bruise along your left rib cage and a huge one forming just below that. You almost cried at seeing what your own father had done to you, but you didn't want to cry in front of him.
Eddie gently rubbed some ointment on your bruises, being careful not to hurt you. Really, all you felt was how cold it was when he touched you he was being so careful. After that, he wrapped some bandages around you. "Done! Are you hurt anywhere else?", he asked for a final time.
"Uh, I think I hurt my ankle... when I jumped through my window.", you spoke for the first time and it hurt a little. Your throat was hoarse and dry. Eddie just looked more worried for you, though he tried to hide it. "Okay.", he carefully removed your shoes and sure enough your ankle was bruised. "Well, it's not swollen so that's a good sign.", he looked up and smiled at you. "Here, drink some water while I take care of your ankle.", he handed you a glass of water and placed your foot on his knee so he could bandage it up.
Once he was finished, he wrapped you up in a warm blanket and got you some soup from the kitchen before sitting back down in his chair. "Uh, Y/n? I just want you to know that you can always talk to me, if you want. I think I have an idea what's going on, and... I've been there, you know. My dad used to hit on me until I started staying with my uncle.", he said as he fidgeted with the rings on his fingers.
You looked down at the bowl of warm soup in your hands. You had no idea that happened to Eddie, but you were grateful that he understood you.
"Why are you being so nice to me?", you asked timidly and Eddie rubbed the back of his head, looking a bit sheepish. "To be honest, I kinda always wanted to talk to you but I was just too nervous. Then I saw you earlier today and you just... you looked like I did back then.", he answered honestly, gazing at you with his puppy dog eyes.
"Thank you, Eddie.", you smiled at him, and for the first time in a long while it was a real smile. Though Eddie looked surprised. "You know my name? I-I didn't think you knew who I was.", he blushed a little, which made you giggle.
"You know, my dad... he, uh, wasn't always like that. He used to take me fishing at the lake... But lately, he just... gets so angry. And I don't know what I did to make him so-", you started, tears pooling in your eyes.
"Hey, hey, hey! No, you did nothing wrong. It is never your fault.", he moved to sit beside you and rubbed your back to soothe you. "You did nothing wrong, y/n. You have to know that. Your dad is just... sick. He needs help and so do you.", he continued as your wept into your hands.
"I just feel so, so unloved and unwanted.", you cried, pouring your heart out to this stranger. But he just made you feel so safe and comfortable. And you just wanted someone to listen. "You are loved, y/n. And you are definitely wanted." Eddie spoke softly as he held you in his arms.
"Why don't you get some sleep, huh?", he suggested and you agreed. He placed the soup on his bedside table and put away his first-aid supplies. But as he started to leave, you grabbed his shirt to stop him.
"Will-Will you stay with me? Please? I just... don't want to be alone.", you looked into his eyes, too scared to be alone with your thoughts again. Thankfully Eddie agreed. He climbed into the bed with you and held you in his arms where you felt safest, rubbing soothing circles on your back as you drifted off to sleep. For once, it was peaceful.
Pt 2?
In this story I wanted to express the harsh reality of domestic violence and its effects. This is very personal to me and I want you all to know that it is absolutely okay to ask for help. There is always a brighter future ahead. Know now that you are loved, you are wanted, and you will always and forever have a place in this world no matter what. You are not alone!